The Destiny Seeker Ch. 04

I rode in silence in the backseat of the Hong Kong taxi that took me home. The neon lights that usually filled me with awe and delight now only looked foreign and unrecognizable.

It was very difficult for me to decline her offer to come back to her place. I told her that I needed some time to think about what she had told me. While at first she appeared silently disappointed, I also had the feeling that I had secretly pleased her. She asked for my phone. I hesitated just a moment before handing it to her. A remnant feeling from a different time when there were secrets things hidden there.

She of course noticed my hesitation and softly said "It's okay, I just want to give you my contact information. You use Wechat?"

My cheeks reddened as I unlocked the phone and handed it to her. She scanned my Wechat I.D. into her phone and handed the phone back to me without looking at my face.

"Look..." she said, "I know a lot about you. Probably more than you would want me to know."

Now I looked away, my cheeks burning crimson as I placed my phone back in my pocket.

"I understand that you don't know me and that I have told you some pretty crazy things tonight. And now I am telling you that I am aware of some things about you and your past. I need you to please trust me even though you have no reason to at all."

I had placed my hands into my denim jean pockets, an involuntary reaction for me when I was uncomfortable. She reached out and pulled my left hand out of my pocket and held it between her two hands. They were small and warm. I turned my head back to face her. I looked into her eyes for what I then thought must have been the first time, because I was struck by the color. They were crystalline blue. I remember being surprised that I had not noticed the color earlier. The more I stared into her eyes, the more my discomfort melted away.

"I know about you mostly because of my dreams. Well, that and maybe one Google search once I saw your name. The thing about dreams is that they rarely provide me precise information that I need to find someone, and I needed to find you."

I felt my cheeks start to redden again. But it was like the coolness of her sky blue eyes drained the heat from my face.

"I have done some things that I am neither proud of or happy about." I whispered.

"I hope that in time you will see that it doesn't matter. Not to me. And that whatever you might have done willnot matter to you either. Or to anyone else. You are a good man. What I have seen most about you is what is in your heart."

Involuntary tears welled up in my eyes. She took her cue from that and awkwardly smiled.

"I need to catch this ferry." She said. She kissed my cheek and turned away toward the dock. "Send me a message after you have had some time to think about this. We really do have a lot to talk about."

And with that she was gone. Swallowed whole by the crowd of ferry riders all surging towards the metered entrance. I had one last glimpse of her hair...so starkly different than the Asian masses around her, and then nothing. I turned and headed towards a nearby taxi queue.

When I arrived back to my flat, I poured some water into a pot and put it on the stove. I reached a container of black tea from the cupboard and my cast ion teapot. I placed these on my desk along with my favorite Japanese teacup. While I waited for water to heat, I lit a candle and put on some acoustic music. I had fully adopted the Asian practice of drinking tea instead of coffee and had taken the time to learn about different teas and methods for preparation.

When the water was hot (not boiling!) I brought it over to my desk and set the pot on the trivet I kept there. I put a few grams of tea into the teapot and added water. I disposed of this and again added water to the teapot with the now clean tea leaves. I sat down at my desk to drink the fragrant tea and collect my thoughts. This was common practice for me when I needed to relax and focus.

The first thing that I did was to offer a prayer of thanks for another day of life, discovery and acceptance. I didn't pray to anyone in particular. My own peculiar spiritual belief was that there was probably someone or something out there and it was impossible to know if they were listening or not or for that matter if they even cared, but why take chances? Ever since I had recovered from my personal epiphany of madness 6 years ago, I made it a practice to give thanks for another day of life and learning.

I refilled my teacup and closed my eyes to think about the events that had occurred this evening. I started with analysis of how and why I had met Wendy. I was a firm unbeliever when it came to the concept of destiny...or more precisely predestiny. One of my guiding stars was the fact that me and me alone had responsibility for my future. I firmly believe that we all have a path to follow, and that path can be influenced by outside factors, but each person makes the choices that determine the direction of their path. My own path has taken a lot of crazy twists and turns, and it would be easy to blame others (or fate) for the setbacks that had occurred, however I had come to a significant realization during my recovery that I was ultimately responsible for each and every decision I had made. This realization, more significant than any drug or therapy, was the reason that I had been able to pull myself out the downward spiral that my life had been in.

The idea that I had a destiny that was unknown to me and more importantly not in my control was unacceptable and shook me. But I was getting ahead of myself. I am at my core a scientist and a pragmatist. There is a reason for everything. I had to consider the possibility that Wendy was not what she represented, that she was part of a scam. If so, it was an elaborate one. It was also possible that this was a joke. Maybe part of a planned jest by friends or perhaps a spontaneous story spun by an imaginative woman who had been approached by one too many strange men. I gave this theory about 60% possibility. It was also possible that she was crazy. Who knows how many people this possibility she had told this story to. It's a fun fantasy to construct that you are a powerful witch or demon or whatever she believed she was. I gave this theory about 30% probability of being true. That left a 10% possibility that she was telling the truth. I actually couldn't quite believe that I was rating the truth this high. There was something about her that rang true. Or maybe it was just the part about falling in love that I wanted to believe.

I looked at my phone and found her Wechat invite. I accepted it and sent her a short message. "Lot's of thoughts and questions. Tomorrow 18:00 @ Erin's in Midlevels."

Before I even had a chance to set my phone down it chimed with her response. "I'll be there at 18:30."

I smiled as I stood to take my things into the kitchen. Either she was amazingly fast at typing or she knew what I was going to say. I set my cup and teapot in the sink and went to the living room. I laid on the couch and closed my eyes to just relax a little.

My phone chimed again, and I smiled and thought "Wow, she changed her mind already?", but it was a text message from an American number. I opened it and frowned. It was from Amy. All this thought of destiny was messing with my brain, but it was just weird that I would hear from Amy right now. Had I just been thinking about my epiphany of insanity? It was what I thought of as my dark period, and Amy had been my copilot on that crazy ride. The message just said "call me."

The phone chimed again. "Call me. It's not bad." I had to smile despite my nervousness. This was pure Amy, defuse the situation before tossing a hand grenade into the room. I counted to seven and touched the call button on the phone. It rang ten times before she answered. Again...pure Amy. Everything she does has a purpose, and that purpose usually involved manipulation and control. How did the old Mentor's song go? "All I want is sex and drugs and rock and roll." With Amy it was sex and alcohol and violent control. And then more sex. There was a time when I loved the battle. I loved the conflict. I loved the sex. Now it just made me tired.

"Hi." She said. I just waited. "Look, I just need to talk for a few minutes. What time is it there?" She could never keep track of the time difference.

"It's 11:30" I said. "P.M." I added.

"Sorry." She said, although I would be shocked if she was. "Are you alone?"

She always asked this, and when I would hesitate to answer she would tell me that she was just being courteous and didn't want to bother me if I was with someone. This time I didn't say anything.

"Okay, well anyway just tell me if you need to go." Again I didn't answer.

"How are you doing?" She asked as pleasantly as possible.

I closed my eyes and said "Amy, you asked me to call. It's late and I assume there is a reason for this conversation other than to exchange pleasantries."

"Why are you always so hateful?" She asked, the pique obvious in her voice.

"Amy, I apologize. It's been a long day and I was just about to go to bed. I'm doing fine. And no...no one is here."

"I'm not sure that I believe you," She said. We played this game in most of our conversations. I decided to have a little fun.

"It's true! I am about to go to bed." Silence on the other end of the line.

"Well, look." She finally said. "What you do with your time is your business. As is who you choose to be with." I immediately regretted baiting her. I started to apologize again but she interrupted me.

"I just wanted to tell you that something strange happened this morning that I thought that you would want to know about. I was at the shopping mall and I was wearing the jade necklace that you gave me, and some guy snatched it right off of me. He didn't run or anything. He told me that it belonged to him and wanted to know where I got it? I was shocked, but I recovered quick, you know me. I got in his face and told him my boyfriend got it in China and gave it to me for my birthday several years ago. Then he said I was lying and turned and walked away. I looked for a security guard but didn't see one. So, I started screaming and he started running. Are you still there? He could have killed me!"

"Are you okay?" I asked. I was confused. This was not the conversation I expected.

"Im pissed off." She said. "You know I loved that necklace. I always considered that our destiny necklace. When you gave it to me you said we would always be together because it was destiny."

I hesitated...confused and a little bit afraid. I closed my eyes hard and counted to seven before opening them. I was laying on the couch in a cold sweat. I looked for my phone to respond to Amy. It wasn't there. I had been dreaming.