The Diary of Mark Jones Pt. 02

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More thoughts from Mark.
1k words
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Part 2 of the 4 part series

Updated 09/22/2022
Created 10/10/2014
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NeoBard
NeoBard
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SUNDAY 27th JUNE

The weekend has been uneventful to say the least. I tried kissing Sandy but she turned away again. It was the usual excuse; she just doesn't like it. Tonight she spent an hour asking me if I was alright, to which I replied I was no different to usual. When I suggested that a lack of intimacy was having a negative effect on me the response I received was, "That's what therapy is for." I know that. I just wish things changed more quickly. Surely we can take baby steps?

MONDAY 28th JUNE

Tanya was in my office again today. She made some coffee from the beans she brought by last week. I'll be honest; there's this certain allure about her. Her skin looks so smooth, and I found myself drawn to the way her hair bounces as she walks, to the sway of her hips and the gleam of a smile that always flirts in her eyes. I look forward to her visits. Before she left my office she intimated that tomorrow we'd be out on a drive together to meet a prospect. It will be a two hour round trip; I think we will grab lunch on the way back.

Sandy was painting when I arrived home. The new room is done. She's a brilliant painter, in fact if she became an interior designer I am sure she'd make good money. I told her so. She laughed and said she wasn't ready for that yet. I completely understand, but when I suggested classes to help her think through possible next steps she retorted that I should stop trying to fix her. That was the end of the conversation for the day.

TUESDAY 29th JUNE

So much can happen in a 24 hours. The drive with Tanya was funny, relaxing and unnerving. I drive a manual and she made a suggestive comment about loving the way I change my gears. I laughed and grinned saying something about her making it easy. I'm sure she blushed. The meeting went well, I'm amazed how easily Tanya memorizes all the right figures. I told her this and she said it was something she had to work at, but had proved invaluable to her career.

On the way back we stopped for lunch at a Mexican. I ordered in Spanish, and Tanya thought it was quite romantic. As I handed her the menu our hands touched again, but this time we lingered. I felt the unspoken need we both had but also the naturally awkward hesitancy. We're just flirting but I think we're both afraid of more than that. I have a marriage I'm trying to save and I'm sure she's against romantic work place liaisons. I have to stay focussed.

At home, Sandy and I shared dinner together. I mentioned Tanya in passing, trying to bring her in to my wife's awareness. She didn't seem interested. I just find it so difficult to bring things up in conversation these days. It's tough to know how Sandy might react or whether it will become a topic she does not wish to discuss in future. Often it ends with, "I don't want to talk about that again." I've always felt communication is key in marriage. If our needs aren't being met, and every time we try and talk about it one of us decides it isn't something they want to hear, well then, how will anything ever change?

WEDNESDAY 30th JUNE

Wow what a day. As Tanya sat on the corner of my desk going through a review of yesterdays meeting, I couldn't help but run my eyes along her slender legs. She was wearing a black skirt that she shifted as I looked, so that I received a nice long view of her thighs. I can imagine running my hands along her skin, beneath that clothing...I have to stop thinking this way. Not that Tanya minds, although it does sound creepy as I re read what I've written. There's a certain the way Tanya leaned in as she watched my gaze, shifted her skirt and pouted her lips playfully before asking me to focus. I'm sure she wants more attention. I suppose it's natural to flirt more the more one responds to it. Later, I caught her own eyes studying my chest and physique. I didn't mention it. Home was beckoning.

At home we tried some gardening but then a freak storm came through. We lost power and went to bed early. I tried to read but I was too tired and fell asleep. I know reading helps Sandy sleep and I haven't done a lot of it lately, but honestly, I'm just so darned tired.

THURSDAY 1st JULY

This time when Tanya came in she all but closed the door to my office. I usually keep it open. As we talked I found the scent of her perfume arousing and leaned in closer. She has blue eyes that are always alert and seem so deep. She tossed her hair backwards at one point and I caught the shape of her neck, I found my lips drawing nearer and before I knew it my breath was tickling her ear as I heard my hoarse voice say, "You smell nice."

"Thank you." She replied throatily and moved her head to the side so that our lips were nearly touching. Her mouth quivered as I lightly arched my own against hers. She felt so soft, so smooth. Her lips pressed against mine more firmly and for a brief moment we lingered, drinking of each other. I tugged on her lower mouth and she on my upper. I felt my hand moving towards the red tresses of her hair and then we parted. My breathing heavy. She moved away from the desk and I quickly looked around for something to occupy my mind.

We didn't say sorry, we didn't change what happened. We just both decided that was as far as things were going to go.

That night Sandy and I talked. She needed me to earn more money, the finances are stressful for her. I told her we just had to watch our budget. She seemed to agree but the storm had damaged the roof. We had some bills to pay. I had a good job I explained and she nodded but I could see that the fact she is not working full time was playing on her mind. There wasn't much I could do about that. We both fell asleep in silence.

NeoBard
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