The Difference a Year Makes

"I'm sorry to hear that. Is there someone else we could call? I really don't think you should be alone tonight in case your breathing gets worse."

"My friend Danny. He should be at the garage still. He'll spend the night at my place with me and Dylan." I looked up; Dylan was being passed around the staff at the nurse's station, his giggles and dimples charming everyone. I saw the police officer from the accident scene coming down a side corridor and spot me, then head my way. The doctor saw him as well.

"Alright, if you give me the number I'll have the nurses make the call. In the meantime they'll draw up your injury instruction sheets and discharge paperwork. You'll need to follow up with your regular physician."

"Thank you, doctor." I recited the garage's number and he wrote it on my chart before he handed it off to a nurse and moved on to the next patient across the hall.

"Hello Officer." I sat propped up in bed in just my pants, the thin gown they gave me to replace my shirt was still beside me on the gurney where I set it when they taped me up. I pulled it over me, uncomfortable being exposed in front of the other man.

"Hello again, Mr. Betters. You're looking a bit better. Not so pale."

"Thank you. Actually, you can call me Cole. Mr. Betters makes me seem so old." I smiled ruefully. Sometimes I felt old, a widower with a young son and a harried business owner at the age of twenty-seven.

"My name is Officer Jones. You can call me Cameron if you would like, I'm pretty much off shift." He smiled at me and put the papers he was holding on my rolling table. "Here is the paperwork from Ace Towing, the driver said he knew your garage and he towed your car and Mr. Krepp's vehicle over. The other driver, Mrs. White, opted to use her own mechanic."

I nodded. "You have questions for me?"

The police officer pulled out his report form and took down all of my information and my statement. He went to copy the paperwork for me at the nurse's station right before Danny rushed in. He practically ran over to my side, getting ready to throw his arms around me in a big hug of relief. I put a hand up to stop him, even that small movement hurt.

"Stop! Broken ribs. No hugging."

Danny froze a moment, the gently reached out and squeezed my shoulder. "You're okay, Dylan's okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine." I wanted to sigh but stopped myself, to avoid the pain. The pills they gave me were helping but breathing was still a painful struggle. "Dylan wasn't hurt at all; I've got some bruises on my lungs and 2 broken ribs."

"Well look what I found." The officer came back carrying Dylan who was giggling and pulling on his badge. "I saw your friend come in here and thought you might be getting ready to go." He held out Dylan who had started reaching toward Danny with both arms as soon as they came in the room. I couldn't help but smile myself at the gentle smile on Cameron's face as the pair snuggled.

"Here you go Cole, a copy of your report." I looked down at the papers he handed me, seeing his number inked on top the copies. My eyes widened and I looked up at him. He winked at me when I didn't say anything.

"Uhh... um, thanks." I closed my eyes briefly at my stammering response. Smooth.

"I feel comfortable telling you that your story matches those given at the scene by the other drivers. I don't think there will be any trouble from your insurance in this situation. I'm glad your son is okay. Get healed up now, okay?" He offered me his hand, his grip firm but gentle.

"Let me know if you need anything."

I shook his hand.

"Thank you Cameron," I said as I looked up and met his eyes; an appealing shade of light cornflower blue. They were full of warmth and his smile was gentle. I couldn't help but feel a little flare of interest despite the hell of a day I'd had.

I could have died. Dylan could have died. Human contact, warmth, the kindness of strangers were all reminders that I was still here, still alive. Now I just needed to learn how to live again.

I dropped his hand but kept my smile, thinking about how a bad accident on an already tough day actually led me to a realization that I had been missing. I was still here, my son was still here and life would go on; good, bad, indifferent, it was up to me. I vowed then and there to make it good, for both of us. No more hiding, no more feeling sorry for myself. I had Bethany and Marissa for just a few short years but I would treasure them always but it was time to face the future, not avoid it feeling guilty that we lived when they didn't.

"You're welcome." He waved and said bye to Dylan, getting a giggle and wave in return. He was still smiling as he walked away. I was watching him when I saw the man who had hit my car coming toward me. If he came in here and Danny found out he was the one who hit us it could turn out bad. Danny was unlikely to be forgiving even if the man did look like someone was tearing out his insides.

"Hey Danny, I think it's going to be a little bit before they get my paperwork done and everything. Do you think you could take Dylan to the cafeteria and get him something to eat? He's got to be starving by now and I didn't think to have someone grab his bag out of the car before the ambulance guys took off."

"Sure. I'll be back in a little bit." I breathed a quick sigh of relief when I saw him go out and turn in the opposite direction of the approaching man. He was standing at the nurse's station, waiting until the nurse on the phone finished but was looking around the bays around the nurse's station until he saw me. He looked down swiftly and I saw his hands clench.

He shuddered a little and then started walking again. His walk was smooth, powerful. He was a big guy, tall and solid without being overly muscular. I was disturbed to realize that was a fact I had unconsciously absorbed when he had tried to hold onto me at the accident. I hadn't felt attracted to a man as more than a passing appreciation since I had gotten serious with Bethany. I hadn't noticed details like that about anyone, man or woman, in the last year at all.

"Umm, hi," he said when he stopped a few feet from my gurney. I stared at him silently, unable to speak.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out. "I'm sure you're mad. I wasn't paying enough attention and I tried to stop but I couldn't. You seemed really out of it at the scene so I wasn't sure if you heard me tell you that. I just... needed you to know how sorry I was and make sure you guys were okay." His voice was deep and thick like honey. It almost flowed into me as he spoke and I had to fight off a shudder, wary of the pain it would cause.

"I'm not mad, really. It was just a really bad day to get in an accident." The thought was a bitter one but the tone I used was pleasant, almost light. That was strange. I wanted to slap myself upside the head but that would just make me look stupid.

He relaxed a little, actually meeting my eyes. His eyes were a dark green that looked almost shiny, like a holly leaf. I gasped when I saw them and then had to grab my chest as pain shot through me from my broken ribs. I groaned at the pain which only made it worse. I was hunched over breathing in short sharp pants, unable to catch my breath as I tried to ride the wave of agony.

"Keep your breaths short but slow them down, try not to pant." His hands were on my shoulders, pulling me back upright. The heat from his hands gave me something to focus on; they were hot and he had long, strong fingers, easily supporting me as I struggled for air. "That's it, sit up, give yourself plenty of room for your lungs to open up."

The pain eased as I did what he said. The doctor hadn't told me how to ease the pain when it hit, he just prescribed pain medication. It made me curious once the worst of the pain eased. "How did you know how to do that?"

"I'm a paramedic. Feeling a bit better?" he asked.

"Yes, thank you." I shifted my shoulders a little under his grip and he dropped his hands from my shoulders suddenly.

"Thank you. I've never really been hurt before." I offered my hand to him. "I'm Cole, Cole Betters."

"Peter Krepp. It's nice to meet you, though I have to say I wish it were under better circumstances and a much quieter place." An ambulance pulled up outside the ER entrance, sirens still blaring. He smiled at me, a quirky little grin that gave him a dimple in his right cheek.

I was smiling back before I knew it. Looking in his eyes for at least a minute without speaking, I must have been grinning like a fool until I suddenly realized how long I'd been staring. I looked down and blinked rapidly to suppress the prickle of tears in my eyes as I experienced a surge of guilt. I felt unfaithful to Bethany, even though I had just vowed to move on and start life again.

Apparently just appreciating someone else was a bit more than I was ready for, but I didn't know how to stop. Peter was... different from what I would have expected. He had showed a lot of compassion and responsibility, coming to see me in person. Between him and Cameron I just felt more alive, like maybe they could become really good friends.

"Sorry about that," I said quietly, looking up at him. "It's nice to meet you."

"So, you own the C&B garage? The officer told the truck driver who showed up to take my car to your garage. You're a mechanic?"

"When I can be." I leaned back against the pillow on the gurney, my breath still a bit labored. I didn't even flinch when he put his hand on my chest.

"Remember, shallow breaths but don't pant."

I nodded and relaxed a little more under his hand. "I've owned the shop for about three years. My wife used to do the books and work the front office. When she died..." I paused, closing my eyes against the pain of the words. "When she died last year I had to start doing that and doing less of the repairs. I used to think I had the rough end of the stick with the shop but really, people are much worse than cars. Bethany was so sweet and serene, no one would have dreamed about being rude to her."

"I can believe that. I usually only see people at their worst but at least I don't have them long," he commiserated. "I'm really sorry to hear about your wife; she sounds like she was a lovely person." He took his hand off my chest but sat down in the chair next to the bed.

"Thank you." I smiled sadly. "We opened the garage a few years ago and it turned a bit of a profit pretty much right off. With the economy the way it is I think more people are taking care of their vehicles to make them last so I get a good amount of business. They've been mostly forgiving of my learning curve with the paperwork end of things and the longer repair times. Danny has been taking good care of that end of things and helping to keep me going."

"Danny?" he asked, cocking his head as he looked at me.

"He's my best friend. We've known each other for years, since our first year in high school. He moved to Shelton at the start of the year. I was the quarterback and he was the wide receiver. We still watch most of the Packer games together during football season. He's the only family I have left besides Dylan."

"Every time you answer a question it seems like I think of another one." Peter laughed a rich full-throated chuckle that rumbled through me. I chuckled a little myself. "So, who's Dylan?"

"Well actually, you can meet him officially." I just saw the elevator doors open and Danny get out, holding Dylan's hand as he toddled along. "Oh, umm, Danny's sort of protective and he's in a bit of a tear over the accident. Can we maybe not mention that you're involved in that right off?"

"Sure. If that's what you want."

"Daddy!" Dylan took off, slipping out of Danny's hand and half ran and half stumbled over to my bed. "Cookie, Daddy!" He showed off his prize, an M&M cookie that was crumbling all over the sheets.

"I see the cookie, Dylan, it looks yummy. How nice of Uncle Danny to feed you sugar before bedtime."

Danny smirked. "What else are good uncles for?" He turned a bit to stare suspiciously at Peter and crossed his arms over his chest. "And you are?"

"Danny!" I was shocked at his behavior; he was acting like an over protective father, suspiciously staring down his teenager's date.

"I'm Peter." Peter offered his hand to Danny.

"Peter who?" Danny said, looking him up and down with his eyebrow raised as they shook hands.

"For Christ's sake Danny, knock it off. Peter's a new friend of mine. Stop being a jerk."

"Well if I'm going to be the bad uncle I figure I need to be the bad friend too. I'll work on my politeness." He smirked at me then turned back to Peter. "It's nice to meet you. If I may inquire, Peter, as to your last name and what you might do for a living, in the interests of getting to know Cole's friend better so that we might be friends as well?"

I started chuckling which made me grab my ribs and groan. "Jeez Danny, I didn't know you even knew half those words. Was that your attempt at being smooth or something?" Danny looked at me to make sure I was okay, breaking off his stare at Peter.

"Lisa has been 'civilizing' me she says." Danny turned back to Peter. "Well? Did I dazzle you with my wit and confuse you into telling me all your deep, dark secrets?"

"Peter Krepp, and I'm a paramedic."

"Oh? Were you one of the paramedics who helped Cole and Dylan today? Is that how you met? You're name seems sort of familiar, have we met before?"

"I was on the scene earlier, sort of. And no, I don't think we've met."

"Krepp... Krepp... I know I've heard that name. Wait... that was the name of the owner of the other car towed to the garage! You were in the accident too?"

Peter looked at me. I looked at Danny in exasperation. "Why couldn't you remember a little less well? Yes, Peter was in the accident."

"Actually, I caused it. I came here to talk to Cole, to let him know how sorry I was."

That set Danny off. His fists clenched as his face turned red. "You have some nerve to show up here! Do you have any idea what kind of day he has been through? What kind of stupid, reckless, moronic idiot runs into someone? I have half a mind..."

Danny was getting louder and louder, leaning toward Peter, stabbing the air with his finger. I knew he was only ramping up. He was normally protective over Dylan and me but with the way the last year had gone he was liable to beat the snot out of the man.

"Danny! We see people who run into other people every day. That's what pays the bills, remember? Accidents happen, Peter is sorry, Dylan is fine, and I'll heal. Stop freaking out."

Danny turned to me, incredulous at my calm tone. He knew how careful I was driving now, by rights I should have been the one freaking out. He cocked his head and stared at me for a minute before turning to look back at Peter.

"Fine. I'll be polite." He took a ragged breath but he wasn't yelling anymore. "You ran into a man who lost his wife and daughter exactly one year ago today; a man that was on his way home from the cemetery where he buried them after they died in a car accident. That is what you did." His voice was icy, the words polite but the tone was vicious and harsh as he informed Peter of the tragedy I was trying too hard to put behind me.

Peter looked more and more horrified, tears coming to his eyes when Danny stabbed his point home with his words instead of his fists. "Oh god, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He put his hand over his mouth and shook his head, turning and walking off swiftly without saying another word.

"Damn it Danny! He made a mistake driving and caused the pile up but it was an accident! He didn't do it on purpose, he wasn't on the phone or being reckless, he just didn't give himself enough time to stop on an icy road. Yes, I lost Bethany last year but I lost her, not you! If I could accept his apology and not hold a single moment of unintentional stupidity against him then you should be able to as well!"

Danny was looking at me with wide eyes. I was sitting up on the gurney and glaring at him in anger. Dylan was looking at me too, his cookie forgotten in his little hand. I felt bad that I had lost my temper in front of him and yelled at Danny, who was just trying to protect us, even if it was in the wrong way. I held out my hand to Dylan and tried to calm down.

"Hey buddy, it's okay. Sorry, Daddy was talking too loud wasn't he? I'm not mad at you, I promise." Dylan was looking at me with his little mouth pursed as if he was deciding whether or not to believe me. He must have decided to trust me again, holding his arms up to for me to pick him up. I was reaching down before I even thought about it, yelping when I moved wrong and a sharp pain shot through my ribs again.

"Here, let Uncle Danny pick you up, Daddy has owies, remember? Here you go; sit still now." Danny picked up the toddler and put him on the bed next to me. I ruffled his hair, smiling at him as he happily ate his cookie, his concern already forgotten. I looked up at Danny, biting my lip.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"I know you've been going through a lot of this with me. I didn't mean for it to sound like you haven't been affected too. I'm sorry I yelled at you." His gentle hug after our apology brought tears to my eyes. This day had been way too long. "Do you think that you could go find the nurse and see where that paperwork is? I just want to get home."

"Yeah, no problem man."

Danny came back towing a nurse with him and after a few minutes of going over instructions and signing more forms, I was officially discharged. Danny took Dylan out to get the car; fortunately I kept a spare car seat at the garage so we were quickly all buckled in and headed for home.

"Do you mind just running through the Subway drive thru so that I can get a sub? I'm hungry and I need to eat so I can take some of these pills the doctor gave me." I was bracing against the door as we drove, the turns were killing me.

"Yeah man, that sounds good."

Danny ordered our subs and Dylan's grill cheese sandwich meal at the shop just a few miles from the house. Getting out of the car was painful, I held my breath to keep from yelping but I breathed a small sigh of relief when I sank into my oversized armchair in the living room. Even that made me wince but it was a lot more comfortable than the gurney at the Emergency Room. Danny grabbed some plates and a sippy cup with juice for Dylan while I cut up his sandwich into small bites.

The second to last regular season football game was on and watching that cleared the last bit of tension from the air. Dylan was fading fast so Danny got him changed and into his jammies. I read his favorite book, Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See to settle him down. He was too tired to squeal in glee at all the animals at the end like he normally did, sleepily drooping his head onto Danny's shoulder with his thumb in his mouth and his snuggly under his arm.

I listened to Danny put him in his crib and turn on his baby monitor, my own head heavy and dull from the pain pills I took after dinner. I thought about going and putting on some sweats to get more comfortable, planning to finish the game with Danny over a drink. Well, Danny could drink; I really didn't think I needed any.

"Hey Cole, Cole..." Danny was gently shaking my shoulder. "Let's get you up, man." Helping me stand up he chuckled as I groaned. "You'll be in bed soon." He gently pulled off the shirt the hospital gave me and then helped me carefully tug off my pants and socks as I sat on the edge of my bed. I slid into bed and Danny pulled the top blankets over me. I sighed.

"I called Lisa and told her I was staying over here tonight. You're not up to getting Dylan out of bed if he needs something. I'll just go crash on the couch."

My eyes were closed, sleep quickly coming to claim me but I forced them open. "Thanks Danny. I love you man."