The Difference a Year Makes

"Peter!" I cried as I shuddered.

Peter's smooth thrust went wild and he punched into me several more times until he joined me, tipping over the edge and filling the condom as he called out my name. He slumped on top of me, breathing hard. I held him down as we caught our breath until he carefully slid out of me and got rid of the condom. He rolled onto his side and pulled me against him.

"Stay the night?" I asked him softly.

"Mmhmm," He nuzzled my neck and then kissed it. "Try to stop me."

I chuckled and then yawned.

"Good night."

His arms squeezed me and I fell asleep easily for the first time in over a year.

*Almost One Year Later*

"Petey, Petey!" Peter bent over and picked up the little blond haired boy who came running over to him. His little gloved hands burrowed into Peter's jacket as he snuggled into his body.

"Are you okay buddy?" Peter asked him.

He nodded his head where it lay on Peter's chest. Looking up he turned to watch me walking slowly toward them."Daddy's sad, Petey. He was crying." The little boy looked worried, his bottom lip quivering a little.

Peter hugged him. "It's a tough day for your Daddy, Dylan. It's okay for him to cry, it helps him feel better."

"Because Mommy and Rissa are in heaven?" Dylan asked earnestly.

Peter smiled sadly. "Yes. He misses them."

"But you'll make him smile, right Petey?"

"I'll try. Your daddy might just need to be sad for a little bit. But that doesn't mean he loves you any less." Peter shifted Dylan to his other arm. "How about I start the car and turn the heater on? You can look at your books and get warm in your seat."

"Okay," Dylan said. He hugged Peter and gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Peter smiled at him. "Love you Petey."

"Thanks buddy." Peter ruffled his hair. "I love you too." Peter gave him an Eskimo kiss, making Dylan giggle.

"I know!" Dylan said excited. "You can kiss Daddy! Then he'd be happy."

"Maybe. Okay, in you go." Peter buckled Dylan into his seat and handed him his books before starting the car so it would warm up. He reached into his pocket when I got closer and pulled out a handkerchief. Instead of handing it to me so I could wipe the tears off my face, Peter pulled me close and did it for me. I stood mutely and let him, staring in his eyes. They were so soft, full of love and understanding.

"Feeling better, babe?" Peter asked.

"Not better exactly. A little more at peace. In some ways that was easier than I thought and in some ways it was harder."

"Still feeling guilty?" Peter busied his hands with his handkerchief, avoiding my eyes now.

"No. Not that. I know Bethany would have liked you and she'd want me happy. I just still miss them so much." Tears fell down my face again and Peter pulled me close, rubbing my back as I buried my face against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry you have to see this. It's not fair to you, I know."

Peter looked at me seriously, lifting my chin until their eyes met. "I don't begrudge you the love you feel for your wife and daughter. I know how you feel about me; same as you know how I feel about you. I never want you to hide how you feel from me, no matter what. I told you when we moved in together, I'm in this for the long haul. Good or bad. Happy toddler or cranky toddler. Even dirty diapers!"

I laughed a little. "That is quite the sacrifice for my happiness."

Peter laughed with me. His love for me filled his bright green eyes and he leaned forward slowly until our lips met. The love he shared with me overwhelmed the sadness in my heart until that was all I could feel. I would always miss my wife and daughter but I sent a silent thank you to whatever being brought us together on the anniversary of my wife and daughter's death. I was pretty sure Bethany was listening and had a hand in it; it was something I liked to think she'd do. I hugged Peter and then looked at the happy little boy in the car. Everything would be okay now.

"C'mon babe, let's go home."