The Director: Birth of an Addict

Many of you comment about how I'm a sick individual, about how none of this happened, etc. I have never disputed that my need for sex with other women is a terrible thing. It is my addiction. This is how it started.

*****

I lost my virginity to Sarah. I found her extremely attractive; I've always had a thing for redheads. Her deep blue eyes, perfect smile, and tall yet curvy body only enhanced her allure. She was two years older than I was when we first had sex, me at 19 and she at 21. We were in a show together, and we were cast opposite each other. It was a "Showmance." She was an extremely talented singer, and I was still finding my groove. We had to kiss each other in the show, and I had always thought that there was something there, behind the acting, but I also knew that she was engaged.

Throughout the course of the show, I found out that she got engaged because she had been dating the guy for 4 years, and thought that she should say yes. I thought it was rather stupid.

We were rehearsing our scenes at her apartment; her fiancé was not at home. Our kissing scene came up, and we tentatively kissed. It escalated quickly and became clear to me that this wasn't acting. We made out for a little while and I thought that this may be the time that I lose the big "V." I had gotten a blow job a few times before, but that's as far as it went. When she started stroking my cock, she said "Mmm...bigger than Jack (her fiancé)." I was fumbling around her vagina with my fingers. I didn't know what I was doing. I was so bad that she stopped me.

She began sucking my cock while fingering herself...someone had to do it right. Then she pushed me back onto the couch, and straddled me. She began riding me hard and moaning. I didn't last more than two minutes.

I apologized profusely and told her that I had been a virgin. She said that I was sweet, but was clearly disappointed.

She went on to graduate the following year, and while we remained friends, my performance was always an inside between us, and we never revisited our intimacy during school.

Fast Forward.

I met my wife at a house party, and we married within a year. Perhaps we both just wanted to be married, because the whole process was extremely expedited. What was hot and heavy over the first 6 months ended up cooling off considerably after I proposed, and we had sex only three times the first year of marriage, one of those yielding our son. She grew distant, and I didn't know why. I was now masturbating three times a day minimum.

I thought that I had found someone that I was in sync with, sexually speaking. As a sex addict, I thought that we were compatible. Unfortunately, it seemed as though we were not.

This had quite the effect on me. It made me remember being shunned in high school. It brought back feelings of inadequacy. I still loved her, but we were growing apart, and the attraction was not there for either of us. I would find out much, much later why she had become so cold, but that's a story for another time.

After being married for two years, my grandmother passed away. I was really close to my grandparents, basically growing up in their house as my divorced parents argued in court over who was the better parent. The loss of Grandma hit me hard, and I traveled home to go to the funeral. My wife and son made the trip with me, but he was young and needed to sleep quite frequently. I bring this up, because my wife stayed at my mom's house the whole time, only venturing out for the funeral. We ended up staying a few extra days to help my mom get some things squared away. Two days before we were to leave and go home, I ran into Sarah.

She was in the grocery store, and I noticed an amazingly curvy redhead walking down the aisle away from me. I thought it was Sarah, and braving the embarrassment of possibly calling out the wrong name, I yelled "Sarah!"

Luckily it was she, and she turned with a quizzical look that instantly melted into a warm smile. "Tom!" she said, and walked quickly towards me and giving me a loving hug.

We chatted and caught up for a bit. She told me that she had moved back and taken a job closer to home. She recently divorced the man she had been with since high school, and she was "rediscovering her roots." Whatever that meant.

She asked how I was doing, and I reluctantly told her "married."

I looked at my watch and said that I had to get going, that the wife and my mom were waiting for me to get supplies and make dinner.

"You always did go too soon," she quipped.

"Asshole," I responded. We hadn't missed a beat.

As I gave her another hug, she asked if I wanted to get together and get a few drinks. She said she'd love to meet the wife.

We said our goodbyes and I went home to make dinner. I asked the better half if she wanted to accept the invite, and she told me that I should just go and catch up.

I agreed that it would be nice to hang out with an old friend and after dinner I texted Sarah and we arranged to meet. I took a shower and shaved, and absentmindedly put on my nicest clothes and best cologne.

Sarah and I met at a dive bar where the drinks were cheap and large. It didn't take long before we were both buzzing and laughing hard with each other...at my sexual incompetence.

"Ah, yes. I've gotten better, you know." I said, still laughing.

"You pretty much had to," she said, and we began laughing harder.

We talked about her job, mine, my family, and her divorce. It was still rather early and she told me that her apartment was just up a few blocks, and that I should come and see it.

I thanked her but told her that I shouldn't.

She agreed, but then asked if I could at least walk her home.

Being a gentleman, I of course said yes.

We got back to her building and I went to hug her goodnight. We lingered probably a bit too long. I hadn't realized how badly I had to pee, and so I asked if I could just jump inside to use her bathroom. She let me in and I had a nice, quality pee. When I came out she had two glasses of wine poured.

"I can't," I said.

"Too late," she responded, "it's already poured."

"You've got me there," I said, knowing that I had given in too easily.

She brought the glasses over to the couch and turned on the TV. We kept talking and we ignored the TV, until she realized that one of her favorite movies had come on. I hadn't seen it, and she insisted that I watch it with her. I resigned myself to leave right after the movie, and leaned back on the couch. She followed suit.

The movie wasn't very good. At least, I wasn't very interested. But I humored her by laughing when she laughed. During one of her laughing attacks, she put her hand on my knee. I didn't think much of it. Soon, her hand moved down my thigh. Warning lights were going off, but also a little voice started saying things like "You haven't had sex in so long!" and "You can show her that you've improved!" and "How often do you get to fuck a redhead?"

Her hand reached the tip of my cock, and I shot her a look. She returned it, smiling. We stared at each other, smiling. Our smiles began to fade as she began lightly stroking my cock through my pants, the man downstairs enjoying the ministrations and growing by the second. Staring into her eyes, I made my decision, and put my hand into her lap. I leaned back into the couch, and began toying with her pussy. I would just get her off with my fingers. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. I'll just get her to come with my fingers and she can do the same. She also leaned back and we were gently touching each other, eyes closed, enjoying each other. Soon, her hand unzipped my pants and she reached in. Skin on skin, she begin stroking me in earnest, and I had found her love button and was teasing her into a frenzy. I was watching her hand stroke my member, something that was causing me great pause. It had been more than three years that anyone besides my wife had touched me there.

Her breathing became labored, and she started making little moaning sounds. Suddenly her eyes shot open and she looked at me. She moved in and stuck her tongue into my mouth. My hands found her ample, beautifully rounded ass, and I squeezed.

As she kissed my neck and grinded on my cock, the conscience got the better of me and I told her we needed to stop.

"No, we don't," she said, still giving my neck and lips gently kisses, "You haven't had sex in a long time. I could tell by how you were describing your marriage."

"That doesn't make it right," I said, stopping her from kissing me any more.

She sat on me, looking at me with bewilderment. We looked at each other for about a minute, my face filled with resolve and hers was almost pleading.

"I want you to fuck me," she said. "I want you to show me how 'good' you've become," she added, and took off her shirt. My God, were her tits huge. "You used to like these," she said. She grabbed my hands and placed them on her breasts. I was frozen on the spot. She resumed kissing me on the neck and reached down between her own legs. She brought them back up to my nose and said "You see how horny I am?"

It was like that smell drove me over the edge. I was transforming. I needed that smell, I needed that taste, needed that pussy. I needed to fuck her and prove to her that I was good enough. My insecurities had manifested themselves into a lust that I could no longer control.

In my lust filled haze, I picked her up and laid her down on her back on her large stone coffee table. She could tell that I had given in, and began saying things like "Yes" and "take me." I kissed her neck and breasts. I ripped her bra apart in the front, which elicited a shocked look and moan from my soon to be lover.

I sucked on her nipples. I moved back and forth between her tits quickly, pinching and biting her nipples, then backing off and licking circles around them, and finally sucking on them like I was a starving baby. I buried my face between them and moaned as I licked the sweat that had formed from turning her on.

I kissed down her taut, pale stomach and slowly pulled off her jeans. I kissed back up her legs and stared at her as I licked and kissed around her vagina. She looked straight back at me and begged me to eat her pussy.

I tongued her pussy over her panties, and she tossed her had back onto the table. I licked along the line of her underwear on both sides and brought a finger inside her panties, brushing it along her lips and clit. She yelled at me now, "EAT MY FUCKING PUSSY, YOU FUCKER!"

I pulled down her panties and went in fast towards her vagina and then, at the last second, moved above her pussy and kissed back up her stomach to her tits. I kissed them for a while, and sucked them. I pinched her nipples and looked into her eyes.

"I'll eat your pussy when I'm fucking ready." I said, and began sucking her tits again. I have her some release, as I brought a finger down to toy with her clit. She began moaning and thrashing. Precum was leaking like a faucet from my cock.

I made a quick move down to between her legs, lifted her ass up in front of me, and dove in. She came almost instantly, screaming my name loudly.

I had become a monster. I needed to make this woman cum over and over and over. I needed her to make me feel good about myself. I needed the power. I licked her through a long, powerful orgasm and I pulled her up by the back of the neck, forcing her to taste herself on my tongue. We kissed hard, and I broke it after a few moments and said, "Let's see if you're as good as I remember."

She smirked and sank to her knees, and began sucking on my tool. She alternated between licking the head and attempting to deep throat. Honestly, she wasn't as good as I had remembered. The tables had turned. I never let her know it, though. I told her that she was a great little cocksucker and that my cock was meant for her mouth, and vice versa. She moaned as I talked dirty to her, and she began plunging a finger inside herself as she stroked and sucked my prick.

I knew that she wasn't going to make me cum—she wasn't amazing and I had been masturbating three times a day-, so I lifted her up. She looked disappointed, like she had failed. I made her feel better by telling her that I couldn't wait for that pussy any more. She pushed me back onto the couch, and quickly straddled me, lowering herself slowly onto my cock, riding me in the exact same position in which I had lost my virginity.

She held herself there for a few moments, adjusting. She hadn't had sex in awhile either. This was a big deal for her. She trusted me.

"I've missed you," I told her.

She looked at me with big eyes, and kissed me passionately before slowly starting to rise and lower herself. She didn't stop kissing me for quite some time. I kneaded her ass and tits with my hands, moving my hands to all the right points. I grabbed the back of her head and pushed my tongue deeper, moaning into her mouth. She began getting close and broke off, putting her hands on my chest and staring into my eyes. She started to moan loudly and I smacked her ass, heightening her pleasure. "Fuck yes," she said with a deep voice. "Smack my ass, baby!" I smacked it again several times as she climaxed hard on my cock.

When she was done coming, she looked down at me and said, "Yeah, I guess you're better than you were."

"I'm not done with you yet," I said, smiling. I took her to her bedroom and lifted her up on the bed, then turned her so her amazing apple ass was staring at me. I forced her head down onto the bed and told her to spread her legs. She obliged and told me that she was on the pill and that I could cum inside her. That was music to my ears. I wanted her to come one more time, though. With me. The ultimate drug.

I started by thrusting slowly, knowing that I was reaching a part of her that had never been touched. She began whimpering and telling me to fuck her hard; calling me an animal and telling me how she loved my cock.

When I knew I was getting too close, I slowed down again, and I turned her over. I put her ankles on my shoulders and entered her quickly, going even further into her hot box. I drove in hard and began pounding her hard, kissing her and telling her that she was fucking incredible.

I told her that I was about to cum and that I wanted her to cum with me. She said "Yeah, baby!" and she began moaning once more. I came hard inside her for what seemed like forever. I groaned into her mouth and when I finished coming, collapsed onto the bed next to her. She rolled over onto me and smiled.

"Thank you," she said.

"Thank YOU," I replied, knowing that I had been changed. The woman that took my virginity was the woman that made me cheat for the first time. It's like her vagina was some sort of cocoon; every time I went in I had changed when I came out.

Sarah changed me in ways that no other woman has, and no other woman will. She was the original drug dealer, and she began my addiction.

Though I try with sex whenever we're in close enough proximity, I'll never be able to thank her enough.