The Doctor's Appointment

Hello! Come in to the Office! My name is Dr. Rita Jones, I'll be your Doctor today. I understand that your problem is erectile dysfunction. That's a common problem among men, so don't feel concerned or embarrassed about it (giggle...) Now, I've examined your chart, and there are several effective medications we can try, with a low range of side effects and a high degree of efficacy (he's not bad-looking, in a weird sort of way).

Of course there's always the old standby Prozac, although you should be aware that some studies indicate a current tendency to overprescribe that particular medication (did he just look at my tits?) Now, don't feel uncomfortable, but I'm going to have to briefly examine your penis in order to determine the problem and proper dosing. Please hop up on the table and no jokes, please, I've heard them all before and I'm a Professional (his eyes have started to dilate a little early). Yes, that's correct. I shall now examine the penis size and shape using my own patented examination procedure. I notice that there is no immediate response, that's actually quite good, and appropriate to the situation. I note that size when flaccid is one inch long and a half-inch in diameter (is that Trump show on tonight?) I shall now examine glans penis size – good, I note a very slight increase in diameter and crown length upon initial inspection (does this guy even know how to do it?)

Excellent! I shall now provide precisely one rapid hand stroke from base penis to upper shaft in order to measure response. Please be Professional about this and maintain an appropriate demeanor. Very good. No response at all. No, don't be concerned, that's entirely normal. Any other response would have been entirely inappropriate. Now we shall just let it stay unstimulated for a minute. Good. Initial response followed by immediate return to a flaccid state. Satisfactory. I shall now, as standard procedure, display my breasts in order to determine immediate response. Good – no response at first – good...good... okay, perfect, initial erection has begun. No don't be embarrassed, it is entirely appropriate. You may notice that my nipples have become slightly erect, again, totally normal (there's that first drop I want to lick it). Very well. Initial response appropriate and normal.

Next I want you to look deep into my eyes, as I need to measure the response of your iris. Good – good – dilation of eyes normal (oh my God we're going to fuck). Penile length has now increased by three-fifths and girth length has instantiated. Okay, perfect!

Now lie down on the table on top of me, and do not be ceremonious about it. Insert your penis in to my vagina – don't worry, due to the extended eye contact, sufficient lubrication has been produced. Good, now don't thrust! Simply stay in this position, and I shall measure your response to initial intromission (oh my god oh my god oh my god. It feels so good I'm so horny I want to come now now NOW) No, your penile response is inappropriate, girth is good but it should not be this long upon intromission. Next stay still – due to the stimulation it is necessary for me to make an initial coital gasp. There. Good.

Now I am going to curl my toes, bend my knees, and push upwards as I sigh, and I want you to make exactly one thrust into me and out in response. Very good... Penile length is now more appropriate to the stimulation amount (did I leave the lights on John wasn't this big). Okay, you may notice that my respiration rate is increasing slightly, it is appropriate for you to kiss me in response and whisper sweet nothings in my ear (I'm starting to get wet). Perfect. It is now necessary for you to begin your coital thrusting. I shall engage in pelvic thrusting in response, but remember that I am simply engaging in my duties as an eval- eval- evaluator of your penis response cycle. No that's not right, thrust a little deeper, your come must be deposited deep inside, near the surface of the cervix. Correct.

No don't worry, a decrease in erection is normal at this points, it is preparation for the ejaculatory cycle. I shall now begin to pant in my natural response to your thrusting. This will help you to time your responses appropriately. Please use them as an appropriate guide (he's better than I thought he'd be angel going to hell fuck me deep Profess Responisib church down on knees so dirty). Adequate. Good, good, slowly increase your rate of thrusting – that's good, that's good. Don't worry, you can hold out, I'm not going to come. But I want you deeper... deeper...no, deeper... good. Good. Oh, so good.

Now I am going to... that's right... correct... correct... that's good... that's good. Oh, it's so good. Good. Good. No, I don't have to, don't worry I – yes, but I'm – yes.

Indeed. Indeed. Yes, indeed. Deeper. Harder. Faster. Faster. You should thrust faster. FASTER. Right. Good. It's... it's right... it's as it should be. Don't stop. I want you in me. Split me wide open. Correct. Correct. I am beginning to respond to you now. Faster and Faster – RIGHT! Good! Good!

Oh, good, yes, yes (no don't I) Right, now harder... harder... harder... oh, you're so big... I think I need to... no don't stop I... it's time to... this is the approp- the right – do it, okay right, do it now, that's it, that's right don't stop baby let it go let it all go (oh god he'd better pull out) deep deep deep oh god it's so deep I want you I want you now (whore slut evil woman no I'm good girl) deeper no don't yet I (oh fuck it's happening I can't believe I) okay good hold on, hold on, hold on I, yes, yes, okay good, yes, uh-huh, uh-huh (split me wide open drown me in your spunk it's not spunk it's) Okay, uh-huh, no don't worry baby I yes, uh-huh, uh-huh, yes, yes, no I won't I can't I shouldn't I okay now don't stop don't stop don't ever stop I'm yours forever (he's mine) it's right it's right it's all right (I love him) more more more yes okay yes I L- I like this good good yes, yes, yes oh I oh my god oh yes so yes yes yes I I I okay yes yes yes yeeeeessssssshhhh uh I'm not like this I stop stop don't stop I Yess Yes Yes! Yes! YES! YES! YES! YES! OH DO ME NOW DO IT DO IT I DON'T CARE JUST DO IT FUCK ME NOW YES UGH YES! YES!... FUCK ME YOU COCKSUCKER JUST FUCK ME I Oh wait oh hold on I just – just wait I'm not ready this is too much for me I can't I don't know just I – I have to – I have to – oh my god I have to no I UUUGGHHHH... UGGHHHHH... UGHHHH... UGHHHH... FUCK ME YOU BEAST JUST (SOB!) UGH! UGH! UGH! UGH!... I'M COMING I'M COMING FUCK ME NOW FUCK ME FUCK ME UGHHHGHHHH!! UGHHHHH!! UGGHHHHhuh-huh-huh-huh-huuuuggghhhh... Oh it was so good I came so hard I... UUGHHHHHHHHH!!

Oh THANK you so much I... huuuugghhhhhh...

Good. Your penile response is efficient and thorough and your cycle has occurred as naturally designed. My orgasm provides evidence for that. Everything is as it should be, baby. Good. Good. Good. You're SO good. Ahhhhhhh. Good. Please send in the next patient. And CALL me. I want to see you again. Yes that door's a little tricky I – hah! Yes, good. Bye!

I think I love him!