The Double Standard

I have seen a lot of things in my life and I question what morality really is. Wanted to post my thoughts somewhere on this, and since it covers adult subjects I figure it might belong here on Lit. My first thought is, the normal ethics and morals of today's society has failed us. Plain and simple, they have become overly complicated, unrealistic to where no one would ever be able to actually achieve what is considered to be the modern moral standard. It kind of reminds me of this one sexual education film I saw in school made back in the 1950's. In short, no masturbation, we should all remain virgins until we get married, and we should not get married until we are at least 35 years old. Yeah right, no sex at all until we are in our mid 30's to early 40's? Now that is in extreme example but it about sums up what I feel about where our current social ethical norms are at, unobtainable and unrealistic. Most people though, they do want to feel good about themselves, and hopeful want to be generally good people. So we end up seeking other codes of ethics, something to which we can realistically agree upon that is actually achievable. And so you have the alternate social structures, BDSM, Gay Activists, Feminism, Cult Religions, Goreans, and so on, ironically all of which are deemed immoral by the accepted social norm. In short, you have people wanting to be good people with realistic goals, to which if found out will be deemed immoral for trying to find a way of being a good person. Not everything involved in this tangled web of our social structure breaking down involves sex of course, but the Double Standard is the focus of my thoughts. I will forward you, the reader, this will be somewhat of a Anti-Feminist view, but by no means is meant to be Feminist Bashing. Rather this is intended to be an alternate view of how a movement that originally intended to get away from the double standard has lost its way and now enforces the double standard without even realizing it. But let me step away from that a bit, let us look at us as humans, male and female.

From an anthropologist view, humanity has an odd quirk compared to most of the animal kingdom. The obvious thought of course is that the male of the species is the dominant, most often bigger, stronger, The Natural Order as the Goreans would say. However in anthropology there is also the attractor, such as in birds the one that is the most colorful. Needless to say, the female of our species is the attractor. The odd thing however that makes us unique is that most animals the dominant is the attractor. To my mind, this is the fundamental reason why our mating rituals are so complicated, and relationships are even worse. Step back a moment and imagine if you will that we are not talking about us, humans. Imagine for just a moment we are talking about some other animal species, one that has not yet evolved into being a technological race, has not yet evolved to the point of having a financial system. Far enough back that we are mainly looking at the primal instincts. The female attractor draws to her a circle of male dominants, to which the dominant of the species vies for supremacy by shows of material wealth, strength, courage and or intellect. This clearly places the female in control of the situation, the males are at her whim until she has chosen her mate. Once chosen however, she is destined to be in a submissive role to that which is naturally the dominant of the two. Well some of those females obviously do not exactly appreciate that role as being submissive to the male. Yet the only way, at least from the primal instinct, is to remain in the dominant role by remaining the attractor so she retains the dominant roll of control. This in turn displeases the males as most will only be satisfied in the dominant roll in the end of the courting rituals. So those females that retain this dominant roll at the attractor for too long will eventually end up with a male of lesser dominant or even submissive tenancies. This may be fine for some of the females that truly wish to be the dominant in the relation, however the natural instinct for the female is to be submissive. So the majority of the females that end up taking this path end up being dissatisfied that their chosen mate is of lesser qualities.

So we looked at the primal origins, imagine if you will the next logical step to be social order. For the benefit of survival, packs of these animals join together in tribes. Certain acceptable social behavior must be established for the tribe to hold together coherently. So at the root level, both the males and females must define acceptable behaviors amongst themselves as they compete suitable mates. But in turn this is where social norms can heavily effected by those that are the most dissatisfied. For example, while a certain female may have the most desirable physical attributes, if she only wants to remain in the position of dominant role of the attractor, the males will eventually become wise to this and then invent ways to manage this. So they may declare her to be a harlot as a form on insult since the majority of them have been spurned and have grown aggravated. Not to say in this example the female is being bad, it also may be a question of her honesty of wanting to remain in that role. Regardless though if she is honest or not of her desires, some of the males will be upset by this. Likewise, a male that chases all the females, never wanting to settle for just one will in turn displease the females. Among all this chaos, the elders of the tribe of course, that have already settled down with chosen mates want a nice peaceful existence if possible and impose morals against the competitive social norms.

This represents a fairly simple picture of our primal instincts of being animals of intelligence and social order, but only at its most basic. Add to this social structure the hierarchy of the social ladder by title or job position, religious influences of morals, and most of all financial wealth. I wonder how many would agree with me that the double standard revolves not around sex, but revolves around money. As they say, the worlds oldest profession is prostitution. Wanting to be unbiased in this, I am not going to take the view of prostitution as being a good thing or a bad thing, but I am just stating it for what it is. However I am not going to say prostitution is sex for money, that is really not what the word means. Prostitution is the exchange of sex for power, wealth, or other material means.

Now in the history of our society, women really have gotten the short end of the stick, I will acknowledge this. Even today in some countries cattle get better treatment than women. In what we today would call civilized nations, women fight for the right to have equal pay and equal rights. I said this would have an anti feminist view, but I honestly think this is a valid and honorable thing to achieve. No one should be held accountable for being born with either a penis or a vagina. I will however argue a person should be judged for being a person. I do not feel any need to feel respect towards a person just because she has a vagina, respect is to be earned. But let us look at some of the ideals and misconceptions.

"If women ruled the world there would no longer be wars." In some part I think this would be true. Warfare evolved from the mans hunter instinct, that we are frail creatures comparatively in the animal kingdom and we hunt in packs. Conflict as evolved to where the one starting the fight sends his pack to hunt the other pack, and those controlling the packs rarely ever die, while those in the pack die at horrible rates. However, in my observations of female interaction, if the world were ruled by women I think the world would be filled with ninja assassins! At least then the people starting the fight would be the people that are going to die. Yay for ninja assassins!

Looking back though, we men and women are raised in our modern culture to have certain beliefs of what the other gender is like. Raised to have certain values, certain customs, certain goals in regards to our mating rituals. Then we both find out what the other gender are really like and our realities become shattered. It makes you think to yourself, why the hell did our parents lie to us? The reality is that lie is the hopes and dreams that their children find a good life with a good mate, but the social norms have become so fucked up that no one knows what the hell is really going on anymore.

"Women are to be respected." This one is just so damn wrong, though not to say that women deserve disrespect. We men have this pounded into our heads during our youth, and women often read between the lines for this to really mean than men are to be disrespected. I am sorry, but if you were born with a vagina, no matter how pretty you are this still does not mean you were born with a royal crown on your head. Not men, not women, but people deserve dignity and the right to earn respect. I must emphasis again, dignity with the right to earn respect. No respect should be given to anyone freely to anyone for any reason. I think we as a society have lost the meaning of what respect really is for throwing it around so much to people undeserving of it.

"Never hit a woman." No I am not going to say women deserve to be hit, but once again I see it all the time that women read between the lines and think it is perfectly fine to go slapping men around who are not allowed to fight back, and often highly enforced by laws that will put a man in prison for defending himself. No, that is not what the laws state, but that is typically how the laws are upheld. Woman attacks man, man defends himself, man spends the next 10 years behind bars. So the violent abuser gets rewarded? Regardless of the law, violence is abuse and is wrong for everyone. Again, today's ethics morals and even laws fail us.

"If a man complains about a woman hitting him then he is a wimp." Yup, every single time this always follows the last statement. Regardless of him being a wimp or not, no one deserves to be abused. Men or women anyone, a person starts hitting another person in a relationship, they will always continue hitting them. Violence begets violence and it will not end. No one, man or women should have to live in any kind of relationship that has become abusive.

"Woman do not need sex." Men and women perceive sex in different ways, and obviously they have more willpower than men since you do not often see women paying for sex, be it illegal prostitution or legal pornography. Men are the weaker in this argument, that is granted. However everyone needs affection for a healthy life.

"Women do not masturbate." One word, bullshit! Men discover it far earlier in life as we have a primal need to purge ourselves of old semen for both health reasons, and to avoid what is simply painful as hell, but women do it just as much if deprived of sex. Both men and women are raised to believe that masturbation is wrong. The real unspoken secret to this is that women can masturbate without guilt, while men can not. I honestly have no clue as to the origin to this, but for some reason a man will always feel at least some twinge of guilt while most women do not unless they were raised by overbearing parents.

"A woman just wants to know that a man can support her." This is the big one, the root of the double standard. What this really means is that society is telling a woman to judge a prospective mate by how much material wealth he will give to her during courtship. In other words, society is encouraging legalized prostitution. Plain and simple, we are telling our young women to go out and sell their charms for material wealth. The only thing separating this from the common whore is that at least the common whore tells the man up front how much money he has to give her for sex. In exchange, women end up feeling pressured by men to have sex after they have spent so much money on them. In the end, both men and women feel disparity when this path is taken, neither win. That is of course unless the man happens to be a multimillionaire. Courtship should be about love, not money.

And that comes to the failing of feminism. Woman's Liberation was founded on equal rights and equal pay for women. In most cases this is completely agreeable, women should not be neglected in financial reward for their labors simply because they were not born with a penis. I say most cases because of the reality that most women are weaker than men, it is simply the way we are. For example, construction jobs are not suitable for most women. Note that I did not say all women, I have seen a few women that were extremely strong, but that is not most women. Most women simply by design are not physically fit for such jobs, that is the reality of it. But for what jobs they are capable of, or even excel at, they deserve the rightful pay as any other person. For the most part I think we have achieved this with a few exemptions, but this is Woman's Liberation, not Feminism.

Feminism is more specifically the rights for women. This is where new moral, social, ethical and legal norms are pushed and accepted specifically for women. That is the failing, that it is for women and not for the person. Since it is specifically targeted towards women, society is adding or changing the structure of acceptable behavior that further enforces the double standard. It changes it to where women have more equality but it still enforces the double standard. Sadly to say at least in my own personal opinion, this is turning our fine ladies into whores. Materialistic emphasis on rewarding women who seek to push the double standard to where men have to pay even more for sex.

"You got what you wanted." or "I gave you sex." or even "Romance is not about sex." Flat out, plain and simple, a man just got sex and a women is expecting to get paid for her services rendered as a whore. Yup, I said it and I may not ever get laid again for saying it, but it is the damn truth. So long as a woman continue their side of the double standard, she should be treated like whore she is. To those fine women that are good and honest, those women that share sex with love instead of selling sex for money, our modern society has a name for you. For being a fine person deserving complete love and devotion, our modern society has given you the honorable title of SLUT.

And we wonder why the fuck our society is turning to shit? Treat good people as good people, regardless of if they have a penis or not. If this writing pissed you off, good! Why did it piss you off? Think about it, all I am really saying is to be a good person that can love their mate. Sex should be something shared between people that love one another, not something that is given as a gift or sold.