The Downfall of Thomas and Jane

Thomas and Jane met as teenagers at Grand Southview Baptist, the famous sprawling suburban megachurch, as volunteer Sunday School teachers - a position they'd each taken because they didn't want to sit through any more sleep-inducing sermons from Pastor Klausen. He was lanky and she had braces, and they bonded over teaching little kids about Jesus and stealing animal crackers from the storage lockers. By the time they'd reached young adulthood, Thomas's shoulders had broadened, his acne had cleared up, and he'd gained a hint of actual musculature in his arms; Jane had transformed from a gangly youth into a slim and shapely young woman, everyone thought Thomas had been on to something the whole time, and only he knew that he'd really liked stealing the animal crackers and also never thought he was going to end up with better.

They got engaged when they were both nineteen.

They were attending the same Bible college at the time, affiliated with (and located not far from) the sprawling megachurch where they'd met. The college had separate dorms for boys and girls. Thomas shared a room with two young men eager to serve the gospel and one guy, Adam, who was only there because of his parents, and who spent his days in a brooding sulk. He never attended Bible studies and rarely attended classes and missed curfew so often that his eventual expulsion was inevitable. Thomas tried to avoid him. But one day Thomas and Jane were in the park in the afternoon, talking about the funny-looking guy in prayer, and Adam happened to come by and stopped to stare for a while until Thomas glared him away.

"Dude," said Adam that night as Thomas was brushing his teeth, "dude, my man. Your sister is seriously hot."

"I dun haff a sister," said Thomas through a mouthful of toothpaste.

"What?" said Adam. "Who was that girl you were with in the park today?"

"That's my fiance Jane," said Thomas.

"Holy shit," said Adam, a turn of phrase that made Thomas wince and hope for a quicker expulsion every time he heard it. "You get to hit that?"

"Hit what?" said Thomas, frowning at the suggestion of spousal abuse.

"I mean sexually," said Adam.

Thomas spat out his toothpaste. "Adam," he said, "you are disgusting."

"Oh right." Adam snickered. "I forgot. You're not allowed to fuck."

"Adam."

"You're saving yourself for Jesus."

"ADAM."

"What a loser."

"I don't understand how you haven't been expelled yet," said Thomas.

"Yeah, me neither," said Adam. "I'm doing my best, god dammit."

"There goes the fourth commandment," said Thomas.

"Also I broke the one about coveting your neighbour's wife earlier," said Adam. "I totally have a lust on for your girlfriend, dude."

"Be quiet," said Thomas.

The next day Thomas happened to notice how good Jane' legs looked in tight jeans, and that evening he enjoyed a furiously guilty masturbation session in the bathroom and cursed Adam for imbuing him with such sinful thoughts. Two days later Adam was expelled for the triple sin of (1) entering the dorm well after curfew while (2) stinking of booze and (3) lacking pants and underwear. That would probably have been the end of that, if Thomas and Jane hadn't left the campus later that week to have coffee with Jane's uncle Richard, a wealthy businessman who'd taken a liking to Thomas, and who Thomas liked in both a familial and financial sense. He now referred to him as Uncle Rich.

"It's so good to see you, Uncle Rich," said Jane when they arrived, kissing her uncle's cheek and then ordering a latte. Thomas got black coffee to seem more manly and tried not to grimace every time he sipped it. Thomas and Jane sat next to each other, but far enough apart that Uncle Rich wouldn't look at them sternly.

"When's the wedding?" said Uncle Rich, as a way of opening conversation.

"We told you," said Jane, "after we both graduate."

"Mm." Uncle Rich sipped his black coffee. "I told you I think your college is useless, but I suppose your parents approve."

Jane said something else, and flicked her hair like she usually did when she was nervous, and Thomas stopped listening, because he'd just noticed that Adam was at a table nearby. He looked just as brooding and sulky as usual. Thomas breathed a silent and sincere prayer that Adam would not notice them and intrude with some ruinous remark. The rest of the visit was even more strained and stressful than usual, and when it was over and Jane kissed her uncle goodbye and Thomas gave him the firmest handshake he could he breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"Phew," said Thomas.

"You seemed really stressed there, Tommy," said Jane, watching him nervously. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," said Thomas. "Let's get out of here."

They left the coffee shop and ran directly into Adam, who was smoking on the veranda.

"Hey there," said Adam. His eyes started around Jane's feet and crawled slowly up to her neck. "Haven't seen you guys in a while."

Thomas smiled thinly. "Sorry, Adam. We've gotta get going."

"For sure." Adam grinned. "Hey, but we should get together sometime."

Thomas's "Absolutely not" was interrupted by Jane, who said "For sure," and Thomas was too shellshocked to process what had happened until they were both in Jane's car. She started the engine. "Why did you say yes to him back there?" said Thomas. "He's such a creep!"

"Thomas." Jane shook her head. "I know he's a creep, but he needs us right now. He's lost his way. We need to give him all the help we can."

"Jane," said Thomas, "he just wants to... he's a pervert."

"Well," said Jane, "it's sick people who need doctors, right?"

"Ugggh." Thomas slouched back in his seat.

"You didn't look like you were listening," Jane said, "but he said his cousin owns a bar or something. I told him we'd go see him on Saturday night."

"Jane, we can't go to a bar!"

"Sure we can. We don't have to drink. They have Coke there and stuff. Anyway, it's not like we can't drink ever, Thomas. Uncle Rich drinks bourboun every night, and he's a great man of God."

Thomas tried to make his displeasure known, and the more he tried to assert his displeasure the more assertive Jane became, until finally he had to cave. He did not like the look in her eyes at all, though he was careful not to bring it up. He almost - though it was unthinkable - suspected that she relished the thought of going to a bar with a known villain; that it gave her some kind of thrill to be a ray of light in an impure place.

Yuck. Well, she was determined to go, and there was abolutely no way she was going without him.

That Saturday night he spent some time finding the manliest combination of clothes he owned. He mostly owned polo shirts, which made that really difficult, but he finally settled on a black one. When he met Jane he was horrified. He had mentally catalogued every skirt she owned, for furiously-guilty shower masturbation purposes, and he knew that the blue one she had on was the shortest. It didn't quite cover her knees. How dare she.

"Isn't that a little provocative?" said Thomas.

She smoothed down her sweater, which, he now noticed, shaped her tits pretty nicely. "Do you think?"

"I meant the skirt. Are you wearing heels?"

"No! They're just a little high in the heel."

"Jane!"

"It's the same stuff I wear every day, Thomas," she said. "Calm down! You're freaking out for no reason. Let's go."

They drove downtown to a place far, far away from Thomas's suburban comfort zone, and parked near a grubby joint with a neon sign flashing the word BURKE'S. "This can't be the place," said Thomas.

"This is the place," said Jane.

They went in. The lights were dim, the music was loud and of a tempo Thomas wasn't used to, and the row of liquor bottles behind the bar had a waterfall behind them and practically screamed sin. Thomas rubbed his forehead. "I don't see Adam."

"He said to ask at the bar," said Jane. She actually looked excited. She took Thomas's hand and dragged him to the bar. "Hey," Jane yelled at the barkeeper, "sorry, pardon me?"

The bartender, a gaunt man in black, stared at her. "Do you know Adam Wilson?" she asked.

"You Jane Carroway?" he said.

"Yes!"

The bartender pointed at a door labelled PRIVATE. "In there," he said.

"I don't like this at all," said Thomas.

"Relax, Thomas," said Jane. "We're here for a good reason."

She opened the door labelled PRIVATE. A burly bouncer stood in front of her with his arms crossed.

"Um," she said. "Hello. I'm, uh, Jane Carroway?"

The bouncer moved aside. She scurried past. Thomas went to follow, and found himself blocked by the bouncer's enormous arms.

"Um," said Thomas.

Jane stopped. "Oh, he's with me," she said.

The bartender lowered his arm.

"Did Adam only invite you?" Adam hissed as they walked down a dark hallway.

"No, I don't think so," said Jane, frowning. "Maybe there was some kind of mistake."

They stepped into the room at the end of the hall. A suspicious halogen illuminated a table with four chairs. Sitting on the table was a pack of cards, a half-empty bottle of bourbon, and a mess of glasses. Adam was slouching in one of the chairs, wearing a baggy leather jacket.

And there were two unfamiliar people in the room. One of them was a burly man with a huge beard, his arms bulging under a black T-shirt, his skin covered in tattoos. He was smoking a cigar, and he'd just said something that was causing Adam to shake with laughter. Standing beside him was a sight that made Thomas's heart pound - with fear or excitement, he wasn't sure. It was a girl, Chinese he thought, with cropped black hair and tattoos sleeving her arms. She was wearing a tight black skirt that barely hit her thighs, fishnet leggings, spiked heels, and a crop-top that exposed her flat belly and a generous amount of cleavage. Around her neck was what looked like a dog collar. Thomas tried to avert his eyes.

"Jane! Tommy!" Adam cheered. "Hey, dudes! This is my cousin Burke! Burke, dude, Tommy and Jane! Sit down, you guys!"

Jane was staring at the girl, and Adam snickered. "Oh yeah, and that's Lu," he said. "You guys want a drink?"

"I'm okay," said Jane, sitting down. Her face was flushed. Thomas wanted to leave the room immediately, but he also knew that he couldn't leave Jane. He sat down. "Drink for you, big man?" said Adam.

"No thanks," said Thomas.

"Afraid of liquor?" said Burke. Thomas started. The man's voice was like a low rumble of thunder, and the terror it induced was exquisite. "Um, no," Thomas stammered.

"We don't drink," said Jane sweetly. "It's so nice to meet you, Burke. Is this your bar?"

"Yeah." Burke turned his attention to her.

"It's very nice," said Jane.

Burke grinned. "How would you know?" he said. "You don't drink."

Jane blushed. "I just meant the atmosphere," she said.

"Sure," said Burke. "Well, let me treat you two. Lu, bring us two virgin mojitos for the guests."

"Sure thing, Burke," said Lu. She walked over to the minibar in the corner, and Thomas was momentarily enhanced by the sway of her hips, before he realized that Burke was watching him. He flushed.

"No harm in lookin," said Burke. The smile was fixed on his face. "Adam and I were about to play cards. You two play?"

"Oh, never," said Jane.

"Well, time to learn," said Burke. "What'll it be, Adam?"

"No gambling," Thomas mumbled, mostly to Jane, but Burke seemed to hear. He laughed roundly. "No worries, kiddo," he said. "We just play for pennies. You got a dollar for buy-in?"

Jane pulled two dollars out of her purse. "Deal us in!" she said, giggling.

Burke took the dollars and shoved a roll of pennies at each of them. Adam shuffled the cards and dealt them out. Thomas touched his cards, feeling a bit dazed, and wondering if Jane was experiencing some kind of moral catastrophe. "Ante up," said Burke, putting a penny on the table, and the three of them did.

"Here's the deal," said Burke. He kept going, but the rules of poker passed by Thomas in a blur; he was left with the vague sense that pairs were important, and that he might have to raise at some point. Jane, Burke and Adam all said things, pennies and cards appeared on the table, cards were passed out, and then everyone was looking at Adam. He stared at the ten of clubs and eight of diamonds on the table in his hand.

"Um," he said.

"You need to put in six pennies to match," said Jane.

"Okay," he said, and counted out six pennies.

Everyone put down their cards.

"Pair of sixes," said Adam triumphantly. "I win, haha!"

"Two virgin mojitos," said Lu, appearing with a glass in each hand. Burke waved. She leaned over to set them on the table, her cleavage spilling, and Thomas stared intently at his hands.

"And a little more of this for us," said Burke, pouring bourboun into two glasses and passing one to Adam. "Bottoms up, friends."

They clinked their glasses. Thomas took a sip and winced.

"Mmm," said Jane. "Delicious!"

"Lu knows how to make 'em," said Burke, patting Lu on the ass. She did a miniature curtsey. Thomas looked at Jane, who didn't seem at all horrified by the blatant fondling happening in front of her eyes. "Let's play another hand!" she said.

Burke dealt the cards. "Now how did you people meet Adam?" he said.

"At college," Jane piped up, before Thomas could think of a diversion. Burke seemed to find this enormously funny; he slapped Adam on the back. "You kids went to Adam's fairy school too, hey?" he said.

"We still do," said Jane.

Adam looked rueful. Burke shook his head. "I told Adam's old man it was a stupid idea, sending him there," he said. "Adam's not cut out for some stupid Jesus school. He's too smart for that bullshit. What's the story with you kids, your parents force you into it?"

"Well, not exactly," said Thomas, but Jane was already saying "Aw, it's not that bad," and Burke was looking at her. "Not so bad?" he snorted. "Curfew? No drinking? No fornication?" He tapped Lu's ass again. "I couldn't live without fornication!"

Adam snickered. Thomas turned beet red and tried to disappear into his seat. Jane actually laughed. "We do all right," she said.

"No way you do," said Burke. "Come on, let's play cards."

They played a few more hands. Thomas quickly lost all his pennies and had to throw in another dollar. Jane, somehow, held her own, and actually won a hand or two. She rapidly drained her virgin mojito, and her spirits seemed to rise accordingly, until she was laughed uproariously at all of Burke's jokes. Meanwhile Thomas's mood grew increasingly sour, until he was on the verge of storming out, Jane or not, but then Burke nodded to him. "Tommy, man," he said. "I gotta show you something. You two mind waiting?"

"No, go ahead!" said Jane. "But hurry back! We're waiting!"

Thomas couldn't think of a way to refuse. He followed Burke into an adjacent room, one with a desk covered in papers and coffee stains. Burke sat in the big swivel chair behind the desk. Thomas sat in a hard-backed chair in front.

"What did you want to show me?" he said nervously.

Burke interlaced his fingers.

"Tommy," he said, and then sighed. "Tommy, shoot straight with me, kid. You a good Jesus-worshipping boy?"

Thomas flushed. "I'm a Christian," he said.

"Thought so." Burke tapped the desk absently. "That Jane there - you two never touched each other, have you?"

"That's none of your business," said Thomas, not as firmly as he'd have liked.

"Thought so too." Burke stared off into space for a moment, and then leaned forward. "Listen, Tommy," he said. "You shot straight with me, so I'm gonna shoot straight with you. This whole night was a favour for my cousin Adam. Those drinks you had - they weren't really virgin. At least, Jane's wasn't."

"What?"

Thomas's head started to swim.

"The plan was," said Burke, "that a little liquor would loosen up your little girlfriend Jane, and that you'd chicken out and leave when things got hot."

Thomas's lips flapped, but he couldn't find any words.

"But Thomas," said Burke, "I like you. Well, to tell the truth, I feel bad for you. So I'll cut you a deal. You stick around. You loosen up a bit. All of us have a good time, together. Doesn't that sound better?"

Thomas's mouth was dry. "Better than what?"

Burke shrugged. "Well," he said, "I'd hate to kick you out on your ass. The way little Janey's acting, I think she's enjoying yourself. Wouldn't it burn, going back to your segregated little fairy college, wondering what she's getting up to all night?"

Thomas didn't have to think about it. He knew that it would burn, a whole lot. He also knew that his immortal soul was imperiled. He sat there, struggling with his jealous demon, while Burke poured bourboun into a glass and pushed it across the table.

"Give it a try," said Burke, kindly.

Thomas sighed and sucked in a breath.

This is going to require a lot of the Lord's forgiveness, he thought.

He dumped the bourboun into his mouth. Then he almost threw up. He bent in half, blinking tears from his eyes.

Burke clapped him on the back and chuckled.

"Good lad," he said. "Let's go out there."

They went back out. Jane was standing up, giggling, while Lu fastened a dog collar around her neck. Her skirt and sweater were on the ground. She was wearing only a surprisingly lacey bra-and-pantie set.

"Jane?" Thomas goggled.

"Isn't it fun?" said Jane, while Lu stepped back. "Do you like my serving-girl costume?"

"That's no serving girl costume," Burke rumbled. "Lu, get her something proper to wear. And bring in Lilah. We're going to need a third."

Lu tugged playfully on Jane's collar and led her out of the room. Thomas sat down, reeling. Adam scowled at Burke.

"Why's he still here?" Adam hissed.

Burke waved his hand. "He's staying. Don't worry, Adam. You'll get what you want."

Adam leaned back in his chair and sulked. "Wasn't the agreement."

"You'll get what you want," Burke repeated. "Don't be a whiny kid about it."

He shrugged at Thomas. "Don't worry, buddy," he said, "Adam'll come around. He's just a bit stubborn."

Lu and Jane returned, with a third girl between them. The new girl looked Indian, Thomas thought, with her chocolate-brown skin, and most of it was showing - she wore piece of purple fabric around her hips, another around her breasts, and nothing else. But Thomas hardly saw her. He could only see Jane, who was wearing black spiked heels, tiny black hot pants, and sparkling gold nipple tassles. Her almost-bare breasts bounced as she walked. She was laughing and blushing furiously at the same time.

"Let's have a look," said Burke approvingly. "Very nice, Jane."

She giggled, covered her breasts in a brief display of modesty, and then threw it all away and did a twirl. Burke clapped. Thomas looked at Adam, who was staring hungrily.

"Tommy, my man," said Burke, "let me introduce you to Lilah. She's going to be your special friend this evening."

The Indian girl sashayed over to Thomas. He stared at her bare belly, and the lines that flowed down towards her barely-covered groin. She ran a hand gently through his hair. His whole body spasmed.

"Urk," said Thomas.

Lu stood beside Burke. Jane giggled nervously. "Go ahead," said Burke, smiling and pointing at Adam; she laughed, and then teetered over to stand beside him. Adam ran a hand up her bare leg. She squealed and pulled away.

"Don't be shy, baby," said Adam, grinning.

"Let's loosen up," said Burke. "Lu, show these girls how to make us proper drinks. Adam, deal out another hand."

The three girls left, and Adam only started dealing the moment Jane's barely-covered bottom had vanished from sight. Thomas could hardly see his cards. All he could think about was Lilah's bare belly and the feel of her fingers.

"Holy shit," Adam laughed, "you went big on a really shitty hand there, Tommy."