The End of Fear

THE END OF FEAR

A BLACK DAGGER BROTHERHOOD NOVEL

Disclaimer: I do not own the fandom of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. I make no money on this work of fiction. I have no connection to JR Ward, who is the owner and author of all original Black Dagger Brotherhood works. This was written purely for fun and the only characters that are mine are Rio and Jace. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

This work had been edited due to a continuity error in Chapter 3 and Chapter 17. Thanks to the anonymous reader who was kind enough to point out this error and I apologize to any readers who have pulled out any hair in confusion over my original posting. I was obviously asleep when I proofed this story before posting.

Chapter 1

Rio leaned back on the futon and stared out the patio door. The darkness had settled in over the back yard like a massive wave, covering everything it touched. With one foot propped on the coffee table, the other ankle bouncing on her bent knee, she felt the restlessness surge and ebb through her. Before long the tingling and itching made their familiar presence known and Rio pulled in a deep breath, holding it for several moments before letting it out in an explosive rush.

There had to be more to life than this, she thought as she dragged her nails up her arms and rubbed her thighs hard. Days were bad enough but when the night moved in, the internal shift was becoming too much for her. She felt like a stranger as the sun set and the night opened the door to a different world. Despite the edginess that crawled over her every night, Rio came alive. She felt like a different person; awake, sharper, her senses flaring out in all directions, looking for...she didn't know what. But it was there. Somewhere.

Yet, despite the flush of life, of unnamed emotions that flooded her every sundown, she knew something vital was missing. And that absence left a hole in her. A hole that she couldn't fill, no matter how hard she tried. The ache it brought was one of the few things that scared her -- badly. Rio didn't dwell on fear much but as the ache seized her chest tight, she dropped her head back on the couch and closed her eyes.

She had spent a good part of her life afraid of a lot of shit. But her fears had always been more of the emotional kind rather than of anything physical. As she'd worked her way through a lonely childhood into an even lonelier adolescence the thought of any physical pain had always kicked off a shot of steel through her. Even now those memories resurfaced easily and she felt the gates that had protected her slam open with a bang.

Bring it on. Go ahead, try to hurt me. See if it even matters.

But in the next second the pain changed and she grabbed for the gates in a shuddering panic. She heard the words always spoken, saw the looks given, the faces that turned away; their disappointment, their dismissal, their superiority that had sliced through her like whips of acid. Burning through skin and bone, dissolving her heart in strips, going for her soul to finish her off.

But Rio had encased her soul in a steel shell very early in life, before she even knew why it was necessary. And then she'd set out to try to prove to everyone around her that she was worth caring about, was worth...something. She became a chameleon. Whatever anyone needed, she became. Became, did, was. Became the one everyone could count on, no matter what. Did every job necessary, especially the ones no one else wanted to do. Was always there; to fetch and carry, to listen, to offer advice, to take the shit that somebody needed to take from everybody who needed to give it.

And there were those who said she was great. That she always understood whatever another person was going through, what they felt, more than anyone else had. That with a sentence or two, she could sum up another person's anguish perfectly, and always knew the right thing to say to them to help them feel better, more worthy.

Yet what she could do so easily for others couldn't be done for herself. So, despite all, Rio was a shadow. Alone in a crowd. And everyone's doormat. Because no matter how great everyone said she was, the moment she disagreed with anyone about anything, the moment she wanted or needed something for herself that might mean not doing for someone else, their desertion crushed her down and the emotional vacuum they left had her fighting for breath, everything in her screaming for salvation.

Adulthood hadn't turned out much better but after several relationships that ended badly, but predictably, something in her had died and she'd realized that she didn't care anymore how far that death went.

Most people fight the world around them and keep it all together because the fear of death outweighs their fear of the daily unknown and so they work at living. The day Rio realized she'd reached a easier acceptance of death than of the nowhere direction of her life, that shot of steel had ripped her open and brought a realization. Nothing or nobody around her was worth her death.

That was the moment of her first internal shift and most of her fear died with that realization. She didn't care what anyone thought of her anymore. No more doormat. No more sucking up everybody's shit because, really, it wasn't doing her a damn bit of good anyway. And if everyone wanted to treat her like a bitch because she didn't bow down and scrape before them anymore, well...she had a detailed map of how to go to hell and she was perfectly willing to make copies for anybody who needed one.

She woke up one morning, called work and said sorry, but goodbye. There was no one else to call since she'd said goodbye to her family a whole lot of years before. So she packed up her basics, pulled out a map, closed her eyes and pushed a pin into the first place it landed. Albuquerque, NM. Leaving the map pinned to her kitchen table, she headed for the bus depot.

And that was how Rio had lived for a long time. She was already looking for something even though she didn't recognize it yet. And there were those over the years who insisted the only reason she kept moving was because she was trying to run away from herself. She paid no more attention to them than she had to all those others who insisted she stay because they still needed a door mat. But even through all the moves, she hadn't been alone, anyway.

Rio drew in a deep breath and popped her eyes open. The trip through nostalgia not only hadn't erased the ache choking her up inside but it seemed to have cracked open a new one. She pressed hard on the middle of her chest, wishing like hell the damn pain would go away but unwilling to admit there could be any reason why it was suddenly a whole lot worse.

"Well, wasn't that fun," she muttered as she pulled on her leather jacket. "The perfect mind set for a solitary visit to the local cesspool."

She touched the small of her back, checking the dagger sheathed up along her spine under her black wife-beater and headed for the door of her small garden apartment. She shook her head, smirking softly. ZeroSum wasn't a cesspool...exactly. It was one of the most successful clubs in town but it still had its undercurrents. Didn't they all.

Like all clubs, the booze, drugs and sex flowed through its doors like a raging river. It was definitely not the place you wanted to take Mom and Dad for an evening out when they dropped by for a visit. But when you needed a zone where the music surged through your veins like a tide, where the ebb and flow of bodies and energy made you felt alive, where you could choose to sit in the shadows and watch a portion of humanity scramble and claw for a few moments of feeling like their world was ok, well, it was the best place around. As Rio rubbed at the ache in the center of her chest, she nodded. The shadows were beckoning.

Half an hour later she was standing in the line outside the club. She had no car so she walked most places and the club was no different. She knew it wasn't the safest idea, especially because she was alone, but it was also one of the reasons she felt alive. It was her fuck you to the possibilities that lurked in the dark, the sinuous slink and stalk that waited for the next victim to drift by. Despite her past, Rio had never viewed herself as a victim in that way, even with the shit in the dark she'd been unable to stop from happening. So as she walked her eyes moved constantly; sharp, clear, watching for whatever waited and knowing that because she watched, it was less likely to catch her. At least, not without a fight.

She crossed her arms over her chest and heaved a sigh, wondering how long she'd be stuck out here tonight. This week so far hadn't been much different than any other week. Two nights ago it had taken two and a half hours to get to the door. Last night was quicker. Only an hour and a half. Still, it sucked some of the excitement out of the night when you stood around like a wallflower at the school dance waiting to be picked.

She heard a quick flurry of noise and when the two girls behind her started shuffling and giggling she turned. There they were again and she understood what was doing with the carefully sprayed, starched and preserved twinkies. Three young men were approaching them and despite the fact Rio wasn't there to pick up anyone, her breath caught in her throat at the sight of them.

They were beautiful. There was no other way to describe them. All three were huge, standing around six four to six seven at least. They towered over her five foot five inches and for once in her life she felt small around a man. Under the black leather jackets, hard-core black Affliction t-shirts were stretched tight over heavy chest muscles and the distressed jeans molded to the thick, solid thighs of two of them. The camo pants sported by the third were just...well, he looked good enough to eat.

Rio recognized them from previous nights. It was fairly obvious they were regulars and at least one of them was always happy to see the ladies in the line. That was the one in the camo pants tonight. Achingly handsome, with spiked short black hair, the heavy silver chain with a medallion around his thick neck was new. What really drew female attention were his mesmerizing eyes. One blue, one green with a red and black teardrop tattooed under the left one, this also new, his stare burned through you like raw sex. Put that together with his big, hard body and you could almost hear the girls' orgasms as he ran his eyes over them.

Rio couldn't hold back her smile as he rolled to a stop just behind her. She ran her hands through her long auburn curls, pushing the heavy mass off her face, the smirk barely in check. When she looked up, one of the trio was looking closely at her. The redhead had a gentleness shining from his blue eyes that took some of the edge off his size and had Rio's smirk softening into a self-conscious smile. She laughed gently and shook her head a bit before looking back at him. The other two now turned to her, as well, and she caught a glimpse of the angry frustration swallowing the two hopefuls behind her.

"You were here the last two nights, weren't you?" The redhead's soft voice sent a shiver through Rio.

"I was." She nodded, holding his stare.

Interest flared in the mismatched eyes of his friend and he stepped closer, running his hot gaze over her body. Rio could almost smell the hate pouring off the pair of Barbies and swallowed hard to hold in the hysterical laughter threatening to erupt at the irony of it all. She was getting the attention of at least two of the three men but despite the fact they were seriously gorgeous, she would have handed their interest to the Barbie twins in a heartbeat. She was looking for something, that was true, but despite the good looks and raw sex pouring off all those muscles and sharp angles, these guys weren't it. And she knew the interest of the third man -- the tallest and biggest of the three -- was already held by someone inside the club. She'd seen his incredible piercing blue eyes blaze to life whenever he looked at the club's female head of security, Ms Alex Hess.

"Are you here alone?" the one with the teardrop asked, glancing at the bodies around her in the lineup.

"Always." Rio tipped her head briefly, looking from him back to his redheaded friend.

Rio's interest caught as she saw the relief shift through his eyes when she turned to him and she realized quickly it wasn't her attention to him that loosened his sudden tension. It was her apparent lack of interest in his friend and she dropped her eyes for a moment, fighting again to hold her smile. Red wasn't interested in the girls, he was interested in his friend. Who either didn't know or was too caught up in the sex of the night to acknowledge it. Just went to show that not all the shit that went down in cesspools happened on the inside.

The low purr rolled over her like a heat wave. "Well, we might have to change that. I'm Qhuinn."

Rio nodded once then looked at the redhead, her eyebrows raised.

"I'm Blaylock," he said, his voice soft, quiet.

She smiled and nodded at both of them. "Wow, nice."

Blaylock turned to the third man. "This is John. He doesn't speak so he uses ASL."

Rio's eyebrows shot up and immediately she signed Hi, how are you?

She saw the shock on their faces and John signed back You know ASL?

Grinning in delight at his pleasant shock she signed Some. A little bit.

John signed back I'm fine. How are you?

I'm fine. Can you hear?

He nodded with a smile and Rio finished her thought using sign language. Ok. You're only speech impaired. She nodded and spoke aloud then.

"I'm Rio. Close your mouths, boys." She snickered. "God didn't put you here to be fly catchers."

Qhuinn and Blaylock grinned sheepishly as they closed their mouths and straightened up and John quickly signed a question.

"No, nobody in my family is deaf. I've just always been fascinated by the language so I learned it online. Actually, I'm still learning it, which is why I won't admit to knowing more than a little."

"You know, we should go inside," Qhuinn spoke up. "We can carry on this conversation in comfort and with a drink. Come in with us and you won't have to hang around in this lineup."

Rio shot a quick look at the girls behind them. "You know, I'd love to bypass this hope-I-get-in line but maybe you should think about adding to your circle of friends."

Qhuinn tipped his head, a slight frown pulling his eyebrows together. "Not that I have anything against a party, but why?"

"Because the only thing I want is faster access to that door." Rio nodded in the direction of the bouncer blocking the entrance to the club. "I want a drink, I want to listen to whatever crap techno is playing, I want to sit in the shadows and watch everyone else's party go down. That's all I'm looking for tonight. I don't want to give you any false expectations."

Qhuinn sobered up a bit at her tone and his eyes sharpened as he watched her.

"What makes you think I want anything different?"

Rio burst out laughing, a low, velvet smooth sound that had heads turning her way. "Oh, honey, different just rolls off you. I can smell it."

John flashed a wide smile and knocked Qhuinn a good one in the shoulder. Blaylock coughed, his face blushing nicely and Rio reacted without thinking about it. She reached up and stroked a finger down his cheek, laughing again softly as his face lit up to an even brighter red. She reached out and slipped her arm through his and shot a look over her shoulder at the other two.

"Come on, gorgeous, you I'm sticking with. Your boy is too hungry tonight. What I want he couldn't find enough of to give away."

John fell in step on her other side, shaking his head and laughing silently, and another quick glance over her shoulder showed the Barbie twins glued to Qhuinn. Even though his gaze was on her, he pulled the girls close and they lit up like halogen lights.

Chapter 2

John stepped in front of Rio as they reached the door, leading the way. The bouncer nodded once and moved aside and their small group stepped into a wall of noise. She felt the energy fill her instantly, flooding through her chest. She drew in a deep breath and felt tension she didn't know she was holding drain away. Blaylock shifted against her and she looked up as he took her hand.

"You ok?" he asked in her ear.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she breathed and flashed him a grin.

Qhuinn and his groupies moved past them and with John following closely they all headed toward the VIP section at the back. The night was well underway for most of those already inside and they wove their way through packed bodies. They passed a trio of men, all of whom were feeling no pain. Despite their level of numbness they appeared to be squabbling over who would get the two women with them and as Blaylock and Rio started past them, one of the men pushed the other one. He stumbled backward and Blaylock yanked Rio toward him and out of the way.

"Hey, wait a minute," the third man called out aggressively from behind them, his voice slurred. "I got one. We don't have to share anymore."

Rio looked down as hot hands clamped around her waist and before Blaylock could make a move, she was wrenched from his hold and dragged into the midst of the fighting drunks. Blaylock yelled her name and took a step forward.

Rio saw anger and fear for her safety flash across his face. John and Qhuinn both turned and immediately started toward them, their fury twisting their good looks into something deadly.

Rio saw it all in the split second after the drunk dragged her against him then she shut down everything but the feel of the man digging his fingers into her arms. She didn't hesitate. She let herself drop and when he stumbled, his hold on her loosened. Instantly, she pushed herself upright and yanked her elbow free. In a swift move, she drove her arm up and back, twisting at the same time, and slammed her elbow into his nose. Blood flowed as his nose broke and he yelled, his hands going to his face. Rio didn't stop. It wasn't enough yet. She shot her foot out and connected with his knee, the crunch loud enough to be heard by anyone standing close to them. His leg snapped backward and this time his scream drowned out all the sound around them.

"You fucking bitch!" he yelled, already going down. "My fucking leg!"

Rio reached out and grabbed his hair. She flung him hard in the direction he was already going -- down. As his face slammed into the floor she stepped on the back of his neck, holding him down and ignoring the gurgling he made as he tried to catch his breath.

"Are you next?" she snapped, her voice hard, cold, pointing at his friend as he took a lurching step toward her.

He stumbled to a stop and in the next breath Rio was surrounded. Blaylock, Qhuinn and John closed in on three sides of her and Alex Hess, the club's head of security, swooped down in front of her. She grabbed Rio's assailant by the hair and dragged him to his feet.

It had all gone down so fast there was shock on the woman's face and Rio instinctively knew this tough female didn't let this kind of shit go down in her house if she could help it. And she also wasn't usually on the clean up end of things, either.

Rio was breathing hard, more from anger than exertion. She ran her hands through the heavy mass of hair and as her fury bled away she couldn't help herself. With a quick smile, she winked at Alex. As the head of security dragged the drunk away on his one good leg, his broken one dragging uselessly behind him, Rio saw the twitch catch at Alex's mouth.