The End of The World

(Authoress's note: of course all disclaimers are still in place regarding characters etc. To those who have given me constructive criticisms as well as those with praise thanks. If you don't like the story that's understandable but please be kind in your critique. Lauren Westley.

Prologue:

I'm lying out in the warm late spring sun wearing a Victoria Secret beachy neon yellow lace bikini with lavender ties. I've been tanning for the past two weeks and the part of me you can see is Bahamian brown while underneath I'm so pale I'd call the color albino white. The clear turquoise water of the Gulf of Mexico dazzles my vision and the crystal white beach is incredible. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

It's taken me six months to start this diary and I don't know whom I'm writing it for. January 12th was a bitter cold day in Atlanta when the world I had known for twenty years changed. Back then I weighed about 164 pounds and was 5'6". A college freshman I had eaten too much cafeteria and crap fast foods. I drank a lot of beer and enjoyed the added weight since it made me appear a bit manlier.

That particular day was nearly the end of my Winter break. I woke up to see the panes on my window iced up and got out of bed to a toasty warm room. Donning my bathrobe I traipsed down to the kitchen to see what Mom had for breakfast. Our house was a beautiful Tudor in Buckhead. From the large picture window in the kitchen I looked out over our beautiful backyard. The pool deck was covered in snow, the pool water an icy blue and the trees drooping white satin snowflakes. Outdoors was a winter wonderland. Little did I suspect this backdrop was ominous?

"MOM," I called out.

No answer. I grew up without a dad but I had three older sisters who finished college and had moved away. The closest one lived in Destin as a condo sales agent. All through my childhood I was surrounded by a feminine world. My sisters treated me as a younger sister when I was home. I was six years younger then the sibling closest in age to me. So as a child they would play dress up with me which I thought was simply a game. Ellie, my middle sister would have me wear a new dress she'd have bought so she could pin the hem when I was fifteen years old. She'd coax me into it and say, "no one can see you and I really need your help."

I was her model. At that time I was 122 pounds. But over the past couple of years I bulked up since at 122 I looked more like a girl then a guy. My face was had feminine features and this led to being called all sorts of names in high school and some terrible times in the boy's bathroom. Yes, head flushing, teasing and I even the occasional penis envy from seeing how small I was compared to the other boys.

The more I went around the house calling "MOM" with no response, the more I wondered where she could be. I decided she must have gone down to the supermarket to get something. I turned on the TV and was watching a cartoon show when something weird happened. Smartphone in hand I text my best friend Paul. No reply. Then I went to update my Twitter and noticed not one person I followed had updated since 11:41pm the evening before. Now that is quite odd, I thought. Updates are almost always happening but my mind didn't focus for long on the oddity but instead I turned back to the TV and watched an episode of South Park.

A couple of hours went by before I really started to get nervous. I had called my Mom's cell several times but it went to voicemail. None of my friends answered. And wondering what was happening I tuned in to CNN. The picture was of an empty anchor desk. Nothing. I tried other live stations and the same thing. What's amazing is the need for people one has when you can't find any. I showered, shaved and decided to drive down to the Mall. I have a blue Subaru all-wheel drive so the snow didn't bother me as I backed out onto white covered street. But over the next couple of blocks out of the neighborhood I passed empty cars. It was even stranger as I made a left turn onto Peachtree Rd. The whole drive to Lenox Mall made me more nervous since no other cars were moving and there were several cars crashed into others on the side of the road.

The mall was open but empty. Not a soul. All the shops were locked up tight from the night before. No one had come to work. Over the next days I came to realize not only was everyone missing from Atlanta but from everywhere? Using the Internet I tried contacting every emergency organization I could think of. The police. The FBI. I even googled outside the US. No one answered. Of course I had tried calling all my siblings days before.

As the days turned into weeks I would go out and take things from stores. I broke windows to get in. In the supermarket perishables began to wither but the electricity stayed on so there were plenty of frozen foods and the shelves packed with boxes and cans. When my car ran out of gas I simply filled up at gas stations pressing the "pay inside," and then going inside and pushing the button corresponding to my station.

Weeks turned into months and by late March most of the electricity had failed. I had left my home and found a monstrous house on West Paces which I had seen at night still had its lights on. Turned out they had a generator. Also the Internet and television were no longer working and although I had kept my phone charged there were no calls.

Many changes started to occur in April. Since there was no one watching over me I decided to allow myself to let the inner me out into this desolate world. Since as far back as I can remember I fantasized about being a girl. I'd steal panties from my sisters (I think Susan suspected me) and sometimes would wear their clothes when I was home alone. This happened a bit more often when they had all left home but much of their high school clothes still remained in drawers in their room. All four of us were within an inch height and weight of each other. Only Sarah looked different with her golden hair and green eyes. Mom had been married before she met my Dad and had had Sarah. The rest of us had the same dull brown hair and striking blue eyes against perfect skin. During the winter we were as white as snow but in the sun we all tanned fantastic except Sarah who had freckles and would turn red. My other two sisters would tease her when we went to the beach. But Sarah was no slouch. She got even many times with the other two including taking boyfriends away.

During high school, especially after having been bullied so much, I had gone as far as having learned not only about estrogen levels but also about reducing testosterone levels and what pre-ops would take to make them more feminine. I hadn't tried anything but instead had done just the opposite by adding 42 pounds to my weight. By the end of March I had lost all 42 pounds of blubber and was back to my pre-college weight of 122 when a thought germinated in me.

Finding what I needed to carry out this plan of mine was quite easy. Hey, if there wasn't anybody left in the world I could be the girl I wanted to be and who cared about the risk of taking drugs or for that matter, who would see me?

What would you do if you were the last person on earth?

Visiting pharmacies I gathered the anti-androgen compounds I had previously studied thinking it would work for me. And before the power had gone out I had created the regimen I would take although it took me a month to build up the courage. I thought about if someone else came along but the silence was overbearing and I gave up hope. That's not to say everything on earth was dead. I did see some small birds and I had noticed the cockroach lived. But I hadn't seen any mammals.

My studies on what I would need led me to create a cocktail of Estradiol, Finasteride, Spironolactone and Progestin. The Estradiol I took using a patch.

Once I had made a commitment to being a girl I decided I wanted to be pretty. Canvassing beauty salons I began my transformation. My hair was longer by now and coloring it blond wasn't a big deal. Learning how to style it was. Since I couldn't cut it I had to do the best I could and since my hair was naturally straight it ended up like a shortened version of Hillary Duff. The highlights looked the same, my face similar but my eyes were prettier.

I never had much hair on my body anyhow but I still found I need to shave parts of my body such as armpits, legs, and a little hair on my chest. The hair on my arms was blond and I had seen plenty of girls with similar hair so I skipped it at first. Although shaving was good I wanted more. I found a kit "Kalo Hair Growth Inhibitors" that did work wonders but unfortunately I still had to shave my stubble on my face. Even once the hormones had kicked in and softened the hair I had elsewhere I could not surmount the facial hair problem. I eventually gave up with trying to do anything but shave my face every morning and every afternoon.

Learning the art of makeup took less then a week. Fortunately before the Internet died I had gone to a site http://howtoapplymakeup.net and printed out the information. I had also been fiddling around with it during the month before I took the plunge at the deeper end of the feminine pool. I learned the basics and the order I need to use to apply it. Eye shadow primer, eye shadow, liner, mascara, brows, concealer, foundation, powder, blush, bronzer, lip liner, lipstick, lip-gloss. Through many mistakes, badly drawn eyeliner, terrible lipstick smears etc I got it down darn good for my face. Hey, I had all the time in the world. No TV, No Internet but books had made an amazing comeback. Everyone' was reading them, me being everyone and I learned a lot about being a girl by reading them.

Next I threw myself into finding clothes for my new awakening. I still hadn't dressed up and gone out even after a couple of weeks of taking the concoction. Fortunately I didn't get sick except for some headaches on the fourth and fifth day. They worried me but I was on a mission. I was going to spend my life as a beautiful woman on earth. I would be young and pretty now but I would age with beauty too using a few magic tricks of cosmetology. One store I frequented early on was Sephora. They seemed to have everything I could want. Though over the few weeks since I started wearing makeup I found I was taking things from almost any store that carried cosmetics. As for my nails I decided right from the start no false nails. I learned how to do my toenails and fingernails but I must give the girls kudos who do their own nails especially toenails. I can't tell you how much time I spent learning how to sit, lean, move so as to get them looking perfect. And finding those foam things for between your toes were a godsend for letting them dry. Hey, I didn't need to go to work. There was no TV to watch and watching DVD movies on a battery operated device, while fun, still gave me plenty of time to fiddle with myself.

Even though I didn't have anyone to see or hear me I decided to learn to do the walk and I did the talk by using a battery powered DVD player with a feminization vocal coach helping me learn to accentuate the best female voice I could. During my wanderings around Atlanta I had found a three set volume of "Fundamentals of your Feminine Voice." But I was so busy I had put these aside in the beginning and didn't start my vocal learning sessions until nearly May.

Clothing was completely fun. I found I wanted to wear real sexy stuff and considered which places I had passed in the Mall where they sold the kind of clothes I wanted to wear. Obviously I broke into Victoria Secret. You already know that but another store I found simply wonderful was a store called Bebe. I picked up several outfits there including eveningwear. I found one very elegant restaurant where they still had a working generator automatically running that I loved. Actually there were several places that had gas-powered generators but I'm sure you're aware the food in the coolers had gone bad already. A few things lasted longer. My refrigerator was stocked with those items; long dated Greek yogurt, Butter, Eggs (I wondered how long eggs lasted and I finally did find out when I cracked one open and it smelled bad.

Anyhow, back to Bebe and my candle-lit restaurant. There were nights I would go there wearing a Ricki strapless dress. Hey the $159 dress was on sale everyday. Everyday was FREE day. Can you imagine? I bought a dozen in my size. I would sit at the table having fixed myself something like a can of tuna with mayo or a soup (from a can) I warmed on the gas stove (thank goodness for gas) pretending I was talking to someone. Funny part is I didn't think of a man as a MAN. You know the whole sexual thing but just as a date. I got some workout clothes from a store called Lululemon. I was having a blast.

But of course there were the times I missed people. And although I found being the girl I wanted to be liberating I also wanted to have someone to talk to and at times made me a bit depressed.

It was because of loneliness I decided to leave Atlanta. I packed up clothes for a trip to the Destin. Destin if you don't know it is a beach town on the gulf coast. Although I knew my idea was foolish I had over the past weeks thought about my sister living there and wondered if perhaps she was alive. Maybe my living was a genetic trait we shared. When you are all alone for over three months lots of wild thoughts begin to fill your head. Believe me my mind was swirling as I left Atlanta in a brand new SLS Mercedes Gull Wing I picked up from the dealership. The sticker price was $229,400 with all the extras. It was simply beautiful. Lush lipstick red outside and black velvet leather interior with carbon fiber everywhere. WOW! And I matched the whole car. I didn't even consider what my sister would think if I showed up and she was there. I had so gotten into my girly role I had almost forgotten I had a penis except when I peed. I would sit on the toilet like a girl with my 'clitty' between my legs and pee.

I was still lovin' Bebe so I was wearing a 'Sweetheart Poplin Dress', clip on earrings (no way I was going to try to puncher my ears, cute little necklace from Tiffany (now that glass was hard to break) and a pair of sandals from Jimmy Choo called Vamp. My lips and nails were Capri red. The perfume was some Chanel thing called 'Chance.' I liked the name. It was so the new me.

Shoes! Shoes! Shoes! I hadn't told you about all the shoes I bought (I like saying bought. You know FREE day. It's much nicer then thinking I just took them) because I never stopped finding a pair I liked. Every dress, skirt, shorts demanded a different pair of heels, wedges, sandals, flip-flops and everything in between.

I was careful about my speed on the highway because of all the wrecked cars in town but I found it easy going since the cars had careened off the road. My Capri Mercedes gurgled power and my gas tank was full. I knew I probably wouldn't be able to get gas at a fuel station since they probably didn't have a generator working. But I could always get another car. But this Mercedes was so 'ME.'

Also I had decided to spend the time listening to those CD's on feminizing my voice. This helped make the trip much easier.

The drive down took nearly nine hours. Normally it's about five and half-hours but there were some obstacles. Plants were blooming and I thought I saw a small animal run across the road but I was tired and it may have been a mirage.

When I arrived in Destin I drove to my sister's house but of course she wasn't there. I walked around her modest home a bit misty-eyed and nearly decided to stay there when my mind sparked the reminder I could stay anywhere I wanted. I found this incredible mansion on the beach. I kidded myself that I had reserved the house for the summer and I checked in.

So, I'm lying out in the warm late spring sun wearing a Victoria Secret beachy neon yellow lace bikini with lavender ties. I've been tanning for the past two weeks and the part of me you can see is Bahamian brown while underneath I'm so pale I'd call the color albino white. The clear turquoise water of the Gulf of Mexico dazzles my vision and the crystal white beach is incredible. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I've been here for over two weeks enjoying the sun. I've seen fish in the water but no matter how hard I've tried to catch them using a fishing pole I've been unsuccessful. I wonder about the life that's survived and why humans and other large mammals haven't? Why did I live?

The sun is so nice in the late afternoon. I don't worry about skin cancer but I don't sun in the middle of the day either since it would burn me. However, without air-conditioning it's damn hot and I haven't had ice. The sun is going down in the west and I've positioned the umbrella so in a little while I'll be in the shade. My thoughts drift to going north when I fall asleep.

Chapter 1 – The Rest of My Life

Waking up I have a feeling I'm not alone. My eyes open but there isn't anyone on the beach. Then I sense something behind me; something bigger then a cockroach. Slowly I turn my head and look up. It's a man.

"Hey beautiful,"

Those are the first sounds of another human being in six months. I'm startled. He's tall and muscular but I can't make out much because he is standing with the sun behind. He does seem to have a beard, I think. His voice is deep and resonates.

"Cat got your tongue sweetie," he says in a pleasant voice and continues, "I'm as surprised as you are I haven't seen another soul since January 12th."

Thinking quickly I answer in the voice pattern I've learned these past few weeks, "Wow I didn't think I'd ever see anyone again. Hi!"

I should have probably told him right away I was a guy but I was afraid to so I stayed in character. I didn't have much in the way of breasts but they had started to form and the top of the bikini gave a modest impression possibly. I'd seen girls who looked like me. Anyhow he didn't seem to notice so we started talking about things. I had never been the 'girl' with a man staring at me sensually but I knew he was. I found it so interesting the way he talked sitting on the edge of my beach lounger. A couple of times I caught him looking over my body but then he'd looked away. I was so self-conscious I was sure he could tell but realized he couldn't.

First I wasn't very big and the way the towel was over me (I had pulled it over) I had covered over the possibility of no breasts. But I knew I'd have to tell him soon. No way I could hide this.

Turns out his name was Eric and he was from Madison, Wisconsin. He'd driven on his motorcycle for the past three weeks and hadn't come across anyone. Eric said he'd have passed me by except for the beautiful Mercedes made him take a turn off the highway. My beach house was just off Hwy 91. Of course with the waves I hadn't heard his motorcycle but he said when he looked down the beach and saw my beach chair and my 'sexy legs.' Like he could tell from up there they were sexy? My brain sent my mouth a signal and I told him I was Pamela from Atlanta.

"Well Pamela what brings you to Destin," Eric asked. Now I could see his beard and his lips.

"Came down to see if my sister had survived."

"I guess since you are here pretty woman some people have but they must be far and between."

It was starting to get dark, Eric mentioned going back up to the house. What could I do? I got up and promised myself I'd tell him back at the house. But also I wasn't sure what his reaction would be. We walked back on the afternoon warm white sand to my beautiful beach casa.

"Beautiful home you have Pam."

I giggled a "Teehee, I have many homes." I couldn't believe I had giggled.

It was fun talking with someone and I didn't want it to stop but I also figured as soon as he learned I had a penis he'd scoot away on his motorcycle. Inside I had gone and gotten a lime green sheer cover-up and returned to find him at the bar.