The Eskimo

Without a word I stepped forward and took her in my arms. After a long embrace I made her a warm drink and then said, "Tell me about it."

"Gunnar lied," she said. "When I got to his house in Norway, he was there waiting for me. I think I had hoped that he would be so I didn't say anything. We had sex, at night and during the day as well. At first it was marvellous but I got to a stage where I did not want it any more. Part of the trouble was he made me very tender but it did not cause him to slow down. I realised that he needed a woman like built Gunhilda for sex all the time." Sally paused, gave a little laugh and said, "I saw a picture of her – you weren't lying were you."

"She's a lot of woman," I grinned back.

"It's like Xmas, that is the only way I can explain," she started again. "You know how much you look forward to Xmas, it arrives and everything is fantastic but within a few days you are sick of turkey, the decorations and all the other special stuff. You just can't wait to get back to the nice things that you can enjoy for the rest of the year. That is how I feel about Gunnar now. Do you understand?"

"But Xmas comes round every year, what happens then?" I had to ask.

"Gunnar is a kind of Xmas that I never want again."

I looked into her eyes and found that they were clear and full of love. "Take me to bed," she said.

I hesitated. "Isn't it too soon?"

"I only spent only four days in Norway and have been staying at a hotel in England since then. Every day I took very long showers because I wanted all trace of him gone before I came back to you."

I took her to bed. It was scintillating sex and full of love. This was not a one night reconciliation because for the next fortnight we screwed better and with more pleasure than at any time in our relationship. After over four months the Inuit shadow no longer hung over me. It was heaven. I should have known that it was too good to last.

The day had been like any other until I arrived home from work, to find no meal prepared and Sally sitting in the kitchen holding her head in her hands. She had been crying but when she looked up her eyes seemed to contain a strange mixture of joy and sorrow. "Something has happened," she said.

My heart sank because this could only mean one thing – Gunnar had been to see her. "What is it?"

"You'll never guess."

Sally was quite right. Given a million guesses I would never have forecast what she was about to tell me. Knowing that I could never divine the answer she said, "I'm pregnant."

"You can't be – it's impossible."

"I know it should be impossible but it has happened. I've just got back from seeing the doctor and it's certain. The gynaecologist that I saw soon after we were married must have made a mistake."

"That can't be the reason or else you would have copped for one before now. I've been shagging you for ten years without anything happening."

My wife nodded her head her head in silent agreement but then looked up with a startled expression her face. In that very instant, the same horrible thought struck me. "I'll go and get tested tomorrow," I told her.

At our wedding we had both wanted children but with her far more keen about it than me. After two years of futile trying we both applied for fertility tests and her appointment just happened to be two days before mine. She had returned to tell me that the fault was in her. It seemed that there was a blockage which prevented sperm from reaching her ovaries and this impediment to pregnancy could not be removed. On the day of my test there remained no point and I didn't bother going. With difficulty, Sally had resigned herself to never being a mother but the up side was that we were free to concentrate on sex without thought of coils or condoms or pills to detract from the pleasure.

Next day I returned home to report that my sperm count was zero. Knowledge of the father was implicit between us but remained unspoken. "You will just have to get rid of it, "I stated bluntly.

"I don't think that I can," she said slowly.

"You've got to – I am certainly going to bring up Gunnar's bastard."

"I know and I would not expect you to," she said sadly. "At the same time I know that I can't kill it."

"Adoption then?"

She shook her head. "All my life the thing that I wanted most in the world was a baby to love and bring up. Then I managed to resign myself to the fact that it would not happened.

This is a miracle and I just can't turn my back on it."

"Even if it means turning your back on me?"

Tears were streaming down her face. "This is the hardest choice that I have ever had to make but Yes – I will have to turn my back on you."

We sat in silence for a very long time and then she got hesitantly to her feet. "I am going to pack – I'll go somewhere."

"To Norway?" I asked bitterly.

"Not Norway – I don't want him to know, ever."

"Come here," I told her. "I am not going to lose you again now. I will learn to love the baby if only because it is part of you."

I could have said nothing else if I wanted to keep her but an offer made in the heat of emotion can look far less attractive in the cold light of day. I was fully aware of the change this would make to my life and the difficulties that inevitably lay ahead. Is it any wonder that I became very prone to depression.

Since winning the contract, at work I had virtually nothing to do, there were no new customers to see and the MD had stopped taking me out to be humiliated on the golf course. Lately I had lost motivation to even go through the motions and just sat all day sunk in morose contemplation, considering my lot and thinking that life could not possibly get worse.

One day, returning from a very extended lunch, I found a note on my desk saying that the MD wanted to see me. On the way there I felt a real glimmer of hope that I might have some real work in store for that would at least occupy my mind and thus provide distraction from my problems. "Bring me up to date John, what have you been working for the past few months?" he asked as soon as I walked through the door.

"Nothing much. In fact, to be frank, nothing at all."

"That's exactly my point John," he said. "There just isn't the work to go round and that's why we have decided that the firm is employing too many negotiators. Unfortunately, it's a last in first out thing – you know what I am saying John?"

With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I stammered, "You are.. You're making me redundant?"

"No, nothing like that. What kind of a firm do you think this is, especially after all your loyalty? The fact is that we never filled your old position and the work has rather piled up. It was thought that, as a company man, you would far prefer to be where you can be really useful."

"I would be nice to have something to keep me busy," I offered, genuinely pleased to be able to help out – and fill my time.

The MD patted my arm. "I knew you would see it our way, John," he said. "You will stay on your current salary until the end of the financial year and you can keep your car until then as well. The other sub-managers have had a 4% increase since you left and the next annual increment is almost due – so it is not too bad."

"You're demoting me?" I accused realising that I would not be just 'helping out'.

"I don't see it that way," he said. "You have simply finished a temporary secondment."

"No – make me redundant instead." I had rapidly calculated that thirteen years redundancy pay based on my present salary would provide a nice little nest egg.

"That is not an option," he said, the smile suddenly disappearing from his face. "You either return to your old job or you will be dismissed for gross incompetence."

"How the fuck can you say that I am incompetent? I got the contract – the biggest the firm has ever had."

"I can compare the research we had done previously with your so-called effort and show that the work you did was totally inadequate."

"But I still got the contract."

The MD shook his head sadly. "John, you didn't get the contract, your wife did. The delectable Sally. As I said, we had researched this job down to the very last detail. There were other firms sniffing round and all able to match us on back-handers so we needed an edge. Fortunately, we had discovered that Gunnar Erikson is an out and out lecher. Your lovely wife was our ace in the hole."