The Feminist I Should Be Pt. 03

Dear Readers, thank you for your positive votes, constructive feedback, and shares of this series. As I write this, I realize the final parts of this story will demand a lot of revision of the prior sections. Please enjoy this story. The more feedback received, the better the final sections will be.

Big thanks to LaRascasse for her willingness to edit.

Chapter 4

If there is one thing I am not, it is a flake. I can't stand the nutty, screen-cracky smart phone type college women. Well I don't mean that I can't stand them, but I can't stand that mentality. My smartphone isn't cracked. That's how I tell time. This is also where I work for this summer. It's the Earthworm Cafe. My shift was over, and I had changed out of uniform. I picked a discreet little corner table and chair. Danica and Jason were on their way. I didn't know why you get a meeting going at 3:00 in the afternoon and why we don't just do it on campus.

It was about 3:15 when Danica strolled in. She wore a baby-doll tight teal polo shirt. Her caprice shorts revealed only her calves and her red hair was tied into a neat French braid today. I almost didn't recognize her from the frazzle-haired, midriff baring, self-actualized slut from the party. At her right was a crisp cut haired guy. He wore a pair of cargo shorts and distressed, faded, red shirt. He looked familiar. Was he in the room too? He broke off and headed towards the register. Danica walked straight towards me. They entered in no different than the random pair of guys with their noses in text books, or the older couple reading a newspaper.

"Kailee," she said as she sat down at the table across from me, "so nice to see you again."

Danica removed her dude blocking sunglasses. Her green-blue eyes glinted at me with lust on a short leash.

"Yeah, nice to see you too," I said. The guy she walked in with sauntered up. He had an italian soda in one hand and black coffee in the other.

"This is Jason," she said, "you remember him. He's our photographer."

"Pleased to meet you," he said with a friendly smile. It felt real. He extended his hand. The smooth feel of his hands startled me. His nails even felt primed and clean. His handshake still felt strong. That clear jawline of his didn't have a speck of stubble. Then, he sat down next to Danica. She sipped at her soda and gave a proper smile before proceeding.

"Kailee," she said, "we both wanted to take a moment to reiterate how impressed we were with yourentrance."

"My entrance?" I blushed a bit.

"Your entrance," she said with slow emphasis on the word.

"It was a work of art," said Jason. His light brown eye flashed interest, confidence and appreciation, "we haven't been that excited in ages."

I looked at him. It made me feel flattered and surprised. One of the apes could speak.

"It was the first time in our little circle, and you joined in exactly like you'd been a member for years," he continued.

"Yes, Kailee," said Danica, "Most people would have walked out. Why did you stay?"

When I think about it, I don't know why I leaped so far like that. It was one thing to fuck myself in front of my best friend, but it was a like a million mile jump to get a savage fucking before a group of strangers.

"Ummm... you know when I really think about," I said as I remembered the cheers as Ade did things to me with his tongue, "I kinda of felt like that if I left, I'd miss out on the hottest, most intense..."

Danica giggled at me. She drew a single finger between her lips. I understood the message and caught myself.

"It was an opportunity to continue doing something I really liked," I rephrased, "and to get a chance to perform for a larger crowd."

"Yes. That's great," said Danica, "Is it true you've only been performing since this last semester?"

"Yes."

"What was your very first performance like for you? Way at the beginning," asked Jason.

I thought of how best to phrase it.

"It was a solo performance for only Johann and Clara," I said.

"So mad I missed her birthday," muttered Danica. Jason gave me a knowing grin. She turned to me, "But really, how did itfeel?Could you say it one word? Two words?

"It felt..." my mind drifted back to the memory like a sexy dream, "strong. Magical. Vulnerable. And Empowering. Like I beat back part of myself that held me back from what I love."

Jason's face shouwed fascination. Danica's showed an elitist's pleasure.

"And what about Ade? Does he like to perform?" She asked.

"Huh..." I trailed off for a moment. Ade? Well he came pretty hard inside me." Danica and Jason looked at eachother, than back at me expectantly. "The first time, it was a big surprise. He didn't know that we were going to improvise for Clara, even though we had some practice before. Ever since we've been..."

"Close friends," Danica cut me off.

"Yes." I affirmed. Her grin was feline and coquettish. How did she get her teeth that white?

"Well Jason, what do you think?" she said turning to him.

"Like I said before," he said, "what she does is a work of art. It'd be an honor to get on camera."

"I've never been photographed," I blurted out. My arms crossed over my chest. My hand touched my neck. I hope I wasn't sweating. Danica calmed me down with a pat on the hand.

"Kailee, the photography is never a requirement. Some of the frat brothers have their little contest," she said, "that's a big part of how Jason got involved."

They have contests?

"So there's lot of works of art out there..." I said.

"I got some great shots of Clara's birthday," he said.

"Yes," said Danica, "but for the other things required. Photos aren't among them."

"Sophotos," I said, "aren't the thing that are required?"

Danica gave me a subtle nod. Her demeanor shifted from playful sorority sister to that of a corporate negotiator.

"We call it our champion's circle," she said, "it's been an ongoing tradition between all of the Greek houses, even the younger ones for the last six years. You've seen what we do. How much do you want to be a regular part of it?"

Why shouldn't I? The heart throbbed with arousal of the night came back into my mind. I'd have access to the sex. It was good. It was good to be cheered on. There would be lots of people I could watch fuck. I hadn't actually seen Danica fuck yet. But what if all this is me whoring out myself for someone else to have fun? What if every guy out there is another Johann?

"Yes," I said. My eyes had to be open in wonder.

"Good," said Danica, "now here's the real issue. We know that you never pledged."

I should have seen this coming. She probably wasn't going to let me join in anymore.

"You know that most of the girls, and the guys, in the Champion's Circle have pledged," Jason said picking up where Danica left off, "There have been some exceptions over the last few years."

"Like Clara!" I interrupted.

"Yes that's right," he said, "Clara came in as Johann's girlfriend. He's a brother, so he was accepted."

"And her commitment," said Danica.

"We really want to stress that you'd be only the second exception after Clara in the last two years," said Jason, "I would personally like to spend a little more time with you. Get to know you a bit. At some point, you'll be asked to make a commitment."

Danica curled her fingers on the table in a wicked, claw-like way.

"Clara never told about me any commitments," I said.

"One of the first rules is that we don't discuss rules and things with people outside the circle," said Danica, "but you'll understand the rules more during your commitment."

"What's going to happen?" I asked. I didn't like that she wasn't going to tell me.

"Oh, Kailee," said Danica, "don't think too far ahead."

"Yeah... but I just want to know," I stammered.

"We'll ask you to do some things," said Jason, "nothing that's beyond you."

"You'll cum so hard your vision will blur," said Danica her words cut the civil propriety of the air. It made me snicker.

"Okay..." I was thinking out loud, "you also said that Ade..."

"Delicious man candy..," muttered Danica licking her lips with tiny tip of her tongue.

"He's prepared to make a commitment too," said Jason.

"Okay, so when do we get started?" I said finally.

Danica downed the rest of her Italian Soda.

"In good time, Kailee," she said raising her hand to slow me down, "for now why don't continue this conversation another time? Venice Beach next Saturday?"

"Oh? Yeah, I can be there."

"I'm so happy that you'll be joining us, Kailee," she said with the most genuine smile I'd seen on her, "see you then!"

Chapter Five

Later, Ade came by to pick me up. He wore this ruddy maroon button down shirt with a black tie and nice dress slacks. His usual curly shag had be freshly cut. It was enough so I could see the curls, only a little bit of curls left though. His sunglasses looked really nice too. It was kind of this whole FBI guy vibe. However, there's no reason to say that a position of authority and power makes a man attractive. His shirt really matched his skin though.

"Ade!" I said as I walked up to him. I walked up and gave him a hug, "hey how did the interview go?"

Ade had been working on this a long time, since the middle of fall semester really, or something like that. Political science majors are often some of the best people because they care about things like justice and equality, and this was Ade. He didn't talk about it much, but his particular work this summer was going to be a non profit.

"I'm a shoo-in Kailee," he said with a smile of relief.

"No way!" I said, "so when does the internship start?"

"Orientation starts next week," he said moving to the car. He looked out across the ocean for a bit. The sun hung clear down onto the both of us, "the ocean belongs to everyone. That's their motto."

There had been at least ten of his classmates applying for this position. You know how it is with non-profits and businesses though. Some really rich person starts a fund. If they're really nice they do so anonymously. Then they get some work done in the world. Ade had chosen Pacific Blue. It was a clean water association. Even that self-centered Johann thought that it was a good cause. Somebody had to keep the ocean clean for the lifeguards.

"Okay! So what did you do to wow them? You said that they were going to accept you right away."

"I gave the same talk that I gave for the persuasion class last spring. I updated it. I added some new facts. They loved it."

"That's it?" I said.

"And I'll be in beautiful nor cal," he said happily, "for parts of it. Snorkeling and scuba diving. We're going to take a group of kids up to the kelp forests. Have you ever seen them?"

"The kids?" I said.

"The kelp forests."

"Oh, haha," I said, "Clara kept wanting me to go up there. Up to Santa Cruz, but it's really far drive. Maybe we'll finally get going this summer. Besides, there are lots of beaches up and around here."

"But no Kelp forests," he said.

"No Kelp forests," I conceded.

A vibration in my phone shook my messenger bag. It was a message from Clara. It was another message inviting Ade and I to another outing. It still gave me a moment of disgust thinking about her and Johann. I texted back three words: victory sex time.

"Hey Ade," I said, "so how are you going to celebrate?"

"Celebrate," he said with a grin, "the internship, yes."

"How's your apartment?"

"It's a mess of boxes right now," he said, "I am still moving out to the new place for the summer."

"You wanna celebrate at my place then?"

His jaw tensed up so slightly.

"Clara will watch again?"

"If she's there," I said, "I don't know if she'll be there."

"And Johann?"

A bad vibe of shook my spine. My face scrunched up. Then I made a vomit face. Ade saw it and raised an eyebrow at me.

"What's going on, Kailee?"

"Nothing is going on, Ade," I said.

"Uh-huh," he said dryly, "There's nothing wrong with Johann."

"That's not what I said."

Ade sighed. He kept his eyes on the road. Mischief stretched his lips into a sly grin.

"He's an honorable guy who could never offend anyone," Ade continued as he drove onto the exit.

"Ade!"

"Probably one of the best guys ever really. He's totally fit, smart, knows how to have a good time," Ade rolled on.

"Ade, that's not funny," I crossed my arms. I Looked away in disgust.

"The world really needs more guys like Johann," his voice was completely without any irony. It started to make me heave in rage. "It is such a shame that we got these monogamy rules."

"It's not about that!"

"You're right, Kailee," continued Ade in a dry tone, "but him and Clara are really cute together. All that public sex that they do. Poor girls all over the place are totally jealous."

"I amnot fucking jealous!" I said with enough conviction to slice the air. Ade almost seemed thrown off by that. Almost. My heart skipped a few beats.

"But I bet a lot of girls are," he droned on, "What if they did have an open relationship? Him and Clara...."

"Because Johann is a cheating man-whore! That's why!!"

Johann nearly drove off the road. He took his hands back on the wheel. The hum of the tires along the road, past our exit, and the bump bump bump of lane changes were the only sounds for a long time. It didn't matter that he knew. That wasn't going to be a big deal. I don't care if Ade knows. Yeah, okay, fine I sorta care that Ade knows but it also felt really good to finally tell somebody about it. I'm not a gossip though.

"You can't tell anybody," I said as the car snaked around side streets.

"Yeah, secrets," he said, "it wouldn't be the first one. How did you even find out? It wasn't... oh god um..."

I snorted a chuckle.

"Heh, no Ade. He didn't hit on me. I didn't fuck him or anything," I said.

"So..."

"It was right before our first time? The time that we performed for Clara," I began. I told him the whole story. I told Ade all about walking up to stupid Johann's smelly dorm. How I needed to tell him first hand to keep a secret, kind like I was getting Ade to keep a secret now. He gulped a bit nervously when I told him that I thought it was him and Clara at first, how I got all touchy about it. I even told him how he had her doggy position with a dumb tie stuffed in her mouth. That kind of thing isn't supposed to get me hot. That's just male fantasy degradation sex. It's fucking garbage that empowered, actualized, young women aren't supposed to get all wet to.

"Wow," said Ade. He seemed to be picking his words perfectly. Like he was still digesting the bucketful of wormy drama, "Yeah that girl is a total whore."

"Yeah," my lips only a sliver to let the words out. She was a whore, but it doesn't mean that I wasn't getting off on it. I didn't want to look at Ade right now. Already I was sniffling.

"Kailee..." he said slowly, "she'sthe whore. You didn't do anything wrong."

"What do mean? Ade, I was strumming my clit while by best friends'boyfriendshagged another girl!" There's was no way I could budge on this issue and betray Clara, "You know what that means? It means that got off on Clara getting cheated on!"

"So Johann's is an ass," he said, "You're mad at him..."

"I'm a mad pervert!"

"Kailee, you're mad," he said. Our car stopped in front Clara and I's place, "it means that you're not the whore or the cheating ass in this situation. You're mad because you care about Clara..."

"And I still got off!"

"You didn't know! You got off on what you thought was Clara and Johann. Of course youfeel dirty.But that's not what you are," his hand reached towards mine. I felt his fingers close around my hand. That hand felt like an entire hug. "You'reloyalhere."

"Ade," I stammered a bit, feeling all dumb.

"Kailee...?" He said, giving me a look.

I fumbled with the buckle and tore back my seat belt. I flung right at Ade, yanked his startled face towards me. His lips felt warm and kind against mine. That deep seething anger at myself, at Johann, at the blonde whore retreated a bit. Out gushed my crazed appetite. His tongue against mine felt like our vigorous victory sex in single connection. I am Kailee, the happy righteous and shameless slut.

"Fuck Kailee," he said after we broke our kiss, "That was umm..."

My top was on. I didn't want it on any more. It came off and out came my black bra cups holding my back my awesome tits. I went straight for Ade again, my arms came around his head, my cleavage pressed against his chest. Our lips locked again. I really hope a stranger is watching this, but they're not going to see everything. We released with a loud audible pop of our lips.

"What was that, Ade?" I said with a ferocious stare down.

"That was kinda hot," he said. His hot exhales brushed my cheek.

I took a hold of his tie, curled it around my hand and pulled him towards me.

"You need to come inside right now," I said, "or I am going to fuck you on the lawn. Either way is good for me."

Moments later, we were inside. Ade let his stuff suit coat drop to the floor as soon as we entered the house. He pushed against my body with his. The palms of my hands pressed against the wall while I let his lips do their work on my neck and tops of my tits. His cock brushed against my abdomen. His hands began to make their way down. That's when I yanked at his tie. "Stop," I said. I pushed his confused face away, pivoted around, and flung his tie over my shoulder. I walked straight into my bedroom with him stumbling behind me. Once we arrived in the bedroom I turned around and focused my eyes on the knot of his tie.

"You need to get fucking naked," I said as I tore open the neat folds of the knot, "Clothes off now." Ade unbuttoned tops of his shirt. The clasp of his belt unlocked easily for me. I squatted down at his waist and undid the zipper and button that kept me from him. His pants and boxers came down at my single thrust. Out bounced his rigid, engorged cock inches from my nose. Ade's dress shirt and under shirt fell to the floor. I let my fingers envelop that beautiful shaft of his. With a squeeze, I gave him just enough pain to hear him wince in surprise.

"I love this cock, Ade," I said as I kissed its underside. Both my hands took hold of it. I liked it when he wince at the firm little squeezes I gave him. It was even hotter when its tip inflated with blood. My lips sucked it. The taste of his salty pre-cum tantalized me so much. "I love your body," I said as I stood up, never releasing his cock from the command of grip for a second, "now get into that bed."

I let his cock slip away from my hand. Ade climbed into my bed slow enough to let me feast my eyes on that smooth rolling motion of his shoulders, the up and down breaths of pectorals, and right down his nice smooth six pack. Goddamn, that cock pointed clear up to his navel. Yes, I drooled at the sight of him.

"A work of art," I whispered.

"What?" said Ade.

"He said we're like a work of art."

"Who?"

"Shut –up Ade."

My hand pressed against his shoulder. He rolled on his back. I took his wrists and put them above his head. His body sprawled out before me as if he was on a massage table. I wanted to explore every little muscle and tendon. His pectorals felt warm in my hands. I rolled them around with my palms. It kept getting me wetter and wetter as they heaved up and down for me. I didn't stop there. Every part of his chest was my little sculpture. He opened up his dark eyes. I could feel the slow rustling in his shoulders that he wanted to reach up, but didn't. Those dark eyes went down my neck and right at my cleavage. They screamed out for them.

"You want to see me don't you?" I said.

"Yes."

My pants came off but not my panties.