The Feminist I Should Be

"Do you like her pussy, Johann?" Clara turned and gestured to it spreading the curtains. "Yes," growled Johann. He was not allowed to leave the couch. He was only allowed to watch, "I'm looking at her and she's getting wet." It made me slicker on the inside. I opened my legs further my fingers strummed up at its folds. Clara sat down next to Johann, taking his hand from his lap holding it to her inner thigh. I could see the engorged little volcano poking up in his shorts.

"How sexy is she, Johann?"

"She's hot," Johann replied, "crazy hot. Any guy on campus would fuck her right here and right now. They'd drive their cocks right into her right now until she screamed." I ran my hands up to my breasts, blood rushing to the nipples, a soft moan escaping from my lips. "Me getting fucked, getting fucked for the entire world to see.." the words slinked from my mouth, my fingers pulling and twisting my nipples in pure delight.

"Hmm-hmm, I'll bet." said Clara knowingly, "And... I'd be watching it,"

"I'd be watching her too..." Johann added.

I palmed the lips of my cunt massaging the blood in and out of its surface. My heart leapt to excitement as I stimulated myself. I knew Johann stared. My chest heaved harder for the audience. The scent of my own juices slowly wafted to the air. I rubbed my slit with two fingers until the warm juices came. I spread my legs wide as my eyes locked on Johann. Clara had slid behind him pulling his hands and arms behind him, his full erection merely covered by his shorts. The lust in his eyes made me feel good. It made me strong. Clara moved one of his hands to her tit, the other down her skirt in a complex grope, her hand reaching around to massage Johann's manhood. My eyes lulled back as I slipped deep inside myself, it was like a cock inside me. I could see myself gleefully fucking some anonymous frat brother. He could be the first in a train. Or we'd be on a table at a party at the house. The feeling made my clit hard, I gasped as I threw my head back swiping my finger over it. I swiped up again- and the joy grew stronger. I heard the sound of shuffling and unzipping. They were almost breaking the rules, all because of me. My fingers kept stroking the walls of my exposed cunt. Deep groans and sighs came from the couch.

I kept strumming my clit, heaving and gasping, how long I kept going I don't really know. I could almost feel Ade now, how he had wanted to take me that night freshman year. My mind wandered back to it. I remembered how hot it felt it back then, imagining myself without being weird spreading myself open for him. My back became tense, my legs twitching, my body tightened, and then my hips shuddered and writhed. I released a breathy cry. Through my sex induced dizziness, I peered across the room, as Clara's head was bobbing up and down, Johann's shorts at his ankles his hands in her hair. His deeply satisfied moans were my applause as I lay there sprawled, satisfied, and soon to go again.

That first night was the beginning of regular performances on my part. Once the three of us were in the apartment and bored with the movie. I simply got up, locked the doors, closed the blinds, and stripped off my clothes. Another night, I casually displayed my vibrator on the table, and waited for the right time to use it. Other times we scheduled it. Every time, Johann mounted Clara to fuck her on the couch for me as my reward. Another time Clara and I made Johann sit while we masturbated ourselves in front of him. All of it was more fun than I had since we started our freshman year. You know what else? The business and chaos of the semester only encouraged these little adventures. It's cheaper than buying liquor, right?

In any case, my studying with Ade hadn't slowed down. We had a nearly all-nighter after one of my night classes. I awoke after the sun's light had flooded the blinds. Ade was curled up on our living room couch, still mostly asleep, or trying to be. I tip-toed past him to the kitchen and poured myself some cold cereal. Clara came in through the front door her was hair tussled around her face, her clothes were rumpled, and her bra was absent. She still walked in completely content with how sloppy she looked. It was only at as she entered that Ade rustled up from his fetal position on the couch.

"Hello?" he muttered as he came up.

"Oh, Hi," said Clara. She stopped and turned towards him as I poured myself just a bit more cheerios. "You're umm, Clara right," straightening his shirt as he sat up. "Mm-hmm," nodding her response, and then cast a knowing grin in my direction, "You know; I think I remember you too" her words trailing off. "Ade." He said. "Ade; yeah" she acknowledged. I kept crunching away at my cheerios in hopes to drown out the conversation.

"Must've been up real.... late, huh?" she deadpanned. I nearly spat out the milk and cereal I had just spooned in. "We've been working on this stuff for the semester," Ade gestured to the sprawl of books and papers on the coffee table, "and nothing else" attempting to quell her inference.

"Oh I see," Clara smiled at him. She ran her eyes up and around his torso as if wondering which place to bite. I knew Ade could feel her undressing him. Why couldn't she tell? What would he think the whole reason was I brought him here? She looked and saw me, my face pleading with here to just knock the awkward off.

"Alright, I had a late night too..." Clara said. She tossed back her black locks. I saw this brown leather collar around her neck. It was plain and soft except for a little heart embossed in the front. Two long strands from of braided leather hung from the back and were carefully stuffed down the front of her top. "And now I'm a bit of a hot mess, I need a shower. Nice seeing you, Ade," she walked away down the hall. Ade quickly excused himself afterwards. I was red in the face the entire time I ate my cereal all I could think about was our totally non-sexual tension in our future study times.

Chapter Five

Clara walked out wearing towels and that leather collar. Its braids now dangled freely across her body, "So, how hard did he fuck you last night, Kailee?" she chided at me.

"Clara!"

"What; He's hot and he's that boy... from awhile back. He is isn't he?"

"Yes, Clara."

"Well, you know that cock is yours for the taking. You'll feel right about it soon I'm sure."

"Fine," It was time to turn this conversation around, "and how was your date with Johann last night?"

"We hung out at his frat house, I'm his slut. We played some games and that Colin guy was there." Clara stroked the leather strands hanging from her neck.

"The rocker guy" I inquired.

"Yeah that's him. He was kind of sort of with that blonde girl." she said, "we played a bunch of games, good people."

"Huh... it must've been fun."

"Yeah, Johann did things to me last night" Clara said with excited lust in her eyes "and then put this on me. I can't take it off."

"Yeah, did you perform for the group slut?"

"Maybe a little, but that was just the appetizer. The main course was in the bedroom."

"Oh yeah, what things did he do to you?" my interest began to peak. "Yeah, different things" She looked at me and tugged at the braids. My mind only wandered to what she might mean. Her smile kept them from me.

"So you did things in the bedroom, but not for everyone else" I pleaded.

"Well yeah," Clara said, "the things we did in there people don't get to see yet." My mouth was agape in wonder. Her words gave me this sense of frustrated curiosity.

"You like being the trophy. You like it when I watch you after adventure times." I prodded, in a nearly demanding way, "You're not embarrassed are you? Not you, not my Clara." She just smiled at me. "When I'm ready to be watched doing the new things, you'll be the first to see."

My frustrated curiosity made it impossible to get my homework done. There was no point in meeting with Ade if I had nothing to share, so I cancelled our next group study time. The whole week was still on my mind at our next adventure time. As soon as we darkened the room and gathered all cell phones. I stripped off my top and stopped there. Clara sat there with Johann, restraining his hands like normal. They both looked at me with a perplexed eagerness.

"Johann," I said, "Clara's is going to take your shirt off now."

"She is?"

"I am?"

"Yes, I want him naked before I am."

Clara obliged my request. He stood up bare as a Greek statue. Clara, still clothed, wrapped herself around him. Her hand caressed every one of his tight muscles from his shoulders to thighs and above his erect cock. "Now what?" she said a grin a promiscuity covering her face. "What's he going to do now?"

"Get him off a bit Clara, while I am watching." I urged. Facing Johann she looked up and was pulled in for a kiss "What do you want baby?" Johann grasped her collar pushing down on it with no resistance. "I want your lips around my cock." Clara's hair shrouded her face and his phallus. I saw her head bob back and forth. My mouth began to drool. I dropped into the arm chair hastily removing my own jeans. My fingers rubbed the surface of my pussy. Clara sucked until I saw him gasp and heave. He spent himself inside her mouth. Then he slowly curled his arms upward. He held Clara up by her collar. He held it so high she seemed to dangle by it. It made me hotter.

"What next?" Johann asked.

"Strip her," I moaned as I rubbed myself, "I want you to return the favor, make her quiver."

He smiled with deep anticipation turned his attention to her. Clara panted with lust as he undid her top and then her bottom while letting her dangle by the collar. Her nipples stone stiff stood proud atop her heaving breasts as he hurled her to the couch. Her panties were slid off her legs and flung at me. Johann buried his face in her cunt going straight for clit, sliding a finger or two inside her. He jabbed her insides while sucking and kissing her clit. That look on her face made pant. It was so beautiful. The smell of both of juices and that pungent scent of cock wafted through the room. And that sound! I loved the soft suckling sound of his mouth on her pussy. Grabbing at his head she pulled him harder to her as she cried out as her legs squeezed his head. My body quivered

"Don't stop," I commanded, "make her cum" and he did. Clara and I reached our climaxes together.

We all paused for a moment. Johann took Clara into their bedroom by the leashes on her collar. I recovered then moved to my own room. The rough sounds and cries rose and fell as sleep over took me.

Chapter Six

The next morning I got up early enough to reserve a room in the library, my stacks felt smaller. The following day my meetings with Ade continued. He was pulling his weight on the gender and media project. "I still can't believe that we have to sort through the detractors," he muttered. Ade was going through a photocopy of an article he'd found. Not our favorite task if you can't tell already. "It's really archaic," Ade continued.

"Yeah" I agreed, I had read the article too, it made some weird statement about how sex-positive feminism was simply fan-service in a few sci-fi TV shows, "the part with the red dress lady?" he said eliciting my input, "The guy missed the point, she's not a villain, but rather she's the trickster archetype."

"That's what I was thinking too!" he espoused.

"What about the other two articles, that Doctor Odem assigned?" Ade's eyes had a burdened darkness to them. "I skimmed them late last night, but I was already burned out from an all-nighter."

"Oh," I really don't think I concealed my smugness well, "that's okay. I got through them last night after work."

"Did you skim them or actually read everything?" Ade raised an eyebrow at me.

"I read them thoroughly." I retorted "I sat down got focused and read them all."

"How did you read them all?" I must have had such a wicked smile on my face. "Well great," his words trailing off, "By the way, we can't meet tomorrow. I have to make up a science lab."

"Are you slacking off on me?" I said jokingly.

"No," said Ade. He did not laugh or crack a smile.

"Umm okay... well this assignment is important so can't you take an absence for the science lab?"

"Kailee," he said, "I'm already making it up."

"Well, we've got to meet somehow..." I insisted.

"And which one of us rescheduled last time?" Ade countered. He had me in check mate; I bit my lips like a cornered puppy.

"Thursday night then," he offered," Why don't we meet Thursday night?" Thursday night was my next scheduled adventure time. I froze at the obvious looking him in the eye, as my wicked smile turned and trembled away. This guy, was he going to learn my dark, exciting, secret?

"What," he began to press sensing my conundrum.

"Umm wait... Ade," I pushed my chair back just a bit. My hands held tightly to the arm rests because there was no way I was running. I took a deep breath, "Ade we are friends, yes? That is who we are, right."

Ade crossed his arms giving me a confused glare.

"I believe that is where we left it," he said. I could see through his confusion that he remembered the chickening out and I felt the lust emanating from him too. I could also feel that he still wanted me. "Good, so Thursday night. You'll come to my place and we can continue to study there."

"Not the library, friend" Ade inquired his intent to discover my intentions could not be more clear. "I am tired of the library," I stated as my eyes widened my face was flushed at what I knew was the next step. "So, my apartment, Thursday the Usual time, okay?" I repeated.

Ade agreed as he knew he should. I would not have taken no for an answer and I certainly wasn't going to give up my adventure time. Ade, after all, was not just a friend; he was the guy who I never closed the deal with but wanted to. I already knew what I was going to do. I would tell that little voice in me to be quiet.

Every position you read about in the magazines was running through my mind. But shit, I wasn't going to let it go that far tonight because the boys talk. So I needed to be sure. I needed to be sure that Johann won't talk. My phone call went straight to his voicemail. I cursed under my breath. The little voice was getting louder. This wasn't going to wait. I trotted across campus to Johann's frat house. It was a rickety house of a structure that was probably only held together the by the power of its own bromance. I walked in and spied some house rat reading a geometry text book --vainly trying to look smart- on a couch as some frat guy sat down next to her and casually asked what she was reading. I knew where Johann stayed. The upstairs hallway had a sweaty warmness to it, the lingering murkiness of house rats and hook ups. These walls could talk, and so did the brothers. I hadn't come here as some house rat. House rats aren't in charge. They don't make the rules. I'm here to make the rules.

At the end of the hall was Johann's door. It was open but a tiny crack and a pair of wet warm panties hung over the door knob, I turned around to look and no one was around. I grinned as I caressed them with my finger, the juices made them dirty. These were stripper thongs --blue and tight- the kind Clara would fling off before sex. They matched the bra that Clara had on that birthday night. They were my friends and no one was in the hall. But was this the private thing? The deeds that Clara wouldn't share with me? I crept towards the door and pressed my ear against it. Slapping and panting came through the door at first. Then, I heard that merciless rhythm of Johann's cock pounding away making my chest heave with the thought of the sex going on just inside the door.

"Go down!" Johann commanded.

I heard muffled yelp of submission. Then there was more thumping. It grew faster and louder. I imagined Clara's cheek shoved down onto a pillow, her ass high in the air. Johann stripped bare, every muscle rippling as he drove himself in. He would take as long as he wanted, driving her to cum. My fingers were down my shorts, my clit was already engorged. It looked like adventure time was coming sooner today. I'd seen Clara and Johann fuck a dozen times now. It'd become our agreement, they'd want me to peek.

"Take it you bitch," Johann grunted, "Tell me you love it."

There was a muffled wail of pleasure. "Yeah," panted Johann, "Keep moaning bitch" the sounds of slapping and more slapping filling the air. I eased the door open for a peak. My free hand moving deeper into my shorts, I was starting to pant as felt my juices soak through my panties. That blonde girl! That semi-lez from birthday party! She was naked on all fours with a drool soaked tie gagging her. Johann yanked her hair back she wailed again through the gag. My cunt recoiled at the sight.

Johann reached for the gag, "You like that, what are you?"

"Fuck doll!" she muffled. "Yeah, you wanna cum?"

"Yes!"

He grabbed her arms and pulled up. Her head, torso, and tits all suspended. That fucker kept his pace. He impaled her without mercy or restraint. She writhed in pleasure. She chocked against her gag then heaved screaming in climax. My cunt seared.

Chapter Seven

I'm in my bed now the dizziness of my orgasm is running through my body. My shorts are flung on the floor with my panties, my juice drenched dildo in my hand, I'm still searing mad. How long had Johann been doing this? Was she the first? Why the gag? Clara never even used the gag. Now what was I going to do, but now at least I'm thinking? Part of me wondered if Clara already knew. If this had been going on for awhile, then of course she already knew. If this was the first time then what was I supposed to do? He wasn't coming to adventure time. That means I'd have to tell Clara. No, I would say that it is because Ade is coming. That's truthful at least. I won't lie to Clara. No way.

I can't believe I let him watch as I got myself off. I'm total shit for watching him and Clara fuck. He was fucking that blond fuck doll slut with a gag. I took a few deep breathes. I tickled my clit. That icky grosses and revulsion was still there, but it faded a bit. It faded until I was lucid enough to make a call.

"Hello sweetie!" Clara answered. "Hey slut," I said with a relieved smile. "What chya doing?" she asked. "Uh..." I stammered "Nothing just got a quick minute... got a special announcement about adventure time."

"Oh really" Clara's voice perked up.

"I'm bringing a guy..." I had to explain this carefully, "and so... well... guys talk a lot, right."

"Oh shit," she exclaimed, "guys can't keep their mouths shut. So who's the lucky dude? He better be proper fuck-able."

"You know who he is, but you know how guys talk, and our adventure time is private."

"Oh... I see," Clara's voice reassured me, "You know Johann understands when we have special time for each other."

"Right," I shivered at the sound of his name. That warm happy way she said it, it just bit me. "So this time, has to be extra private."

"Oh don't worry, I'll make him understand sweetie!"

"Thanks, I got to go, see you soon" I said "I'll text you back soon."

"Looking forward to it" Clara said "you sexy bitch." I hung up, there, it was done. I wasn't going to have to lie to her. Johann was fucking things up now though, but it was done. I slipped the dildo into myself slowly again to assuage my embittered disgust. I saw an open window and I closed my eyes.

The scheduled night Clara walked around and checked every window for me. I walked out with a green top on, one we picked out together a few months back.

"How does it look?"

Clara whipped around smirked at me and crossed her arms.

"More cleavage,"

Clara just nodded.

When Ade knocked on the door I made sure I answered. "Hey Ade," I answered with a deliberate just businesses tone. "Hey, Kailee" his reply just as pure business, he didn't even glance, just walked right in. Trotted in like it was his apartment, tossing a messenger bag off his shoulders, then suddenly he stopped and looking around. Did he know? Had he sniffed out a trap? "What's with the windows?" Ade inquired. My spine stiffened as he casually opened the blinds. The sunlight came in for everyone to see. I parted my lips forcing myself to exhale slowly. "Though it might be important," I said, "for later" "Later" a look of confusion crossing his face as he noticed Clara enter the room.