The Fickle Finger of Fate

"Listen Lennard, I know you're a good businessman and you run a tight ship, but I'm engineer, not stupid salesman. Why do I have to go?"

Lennard looked at me with jovial contempt. "I know you're my arsehole engineer James, but my stupid salesman Jeffers has already done the sales pitch. Now you're going to clear up any doubts or misconceptions they may have, and make sure that what we're offering will actually be what they're needing. Satisfied now?"

I grumbled, "Yeah I got the picture. Caxton, a.s.a.p, make it happen ... got ya." The damn prick didn't have to say, 'Good, now get out of here!' Especially with that damn smirk on his face. I have this feeling that my winning streak is about to hit a big snag.

Kelly wasn't all that pleased with this trip, not that that surprised me in the least. "Why so long sweetheart? Most of your trips are either, a day or just over night. What am I going to do by myself for four nights?"

"To start with darling, it's not four nights, but four days and three nights! Moreover, it means a good promotion and salary increase instead of stock options this time. I have to do something to pay that damn credit card off for your therapy, but it's only going to happen if I can do this right. You will have to do the same as me, enjoy your shopping treasures and miss your loving spouse terribly until I get home Saturday afternoon."

Kelly defiance leapt to the forefront. "Don't go there James, I told you what was going to happen, so you've only got yourself to blame for that one. You hadn't better be making a habit of this sweetie. I'm not good at keeping myself occupied of a night as you well know. I don't think my credit card can handle another therapy session this soon." Kelly could see the horrific look on my face and giggled. "I'm only joking sweetie! I just hated it when you and I were at loggerheads and not talking to each other."

"I'll try to remember that and call every night."

Caxton was just as I had remembered it from years ago, with not much to do but put in the hours and get home as soon as possible. Work had been gruelling and they had almost asked for the impossible. Trying to explain to the head honchos how my solvent breaks down molecular structure was frustrating, especially when you consider that most didn't know the difference between H2O and HO2! HO2 is usually termed either hydroperoxyl radical or...Ok, never mind, you'd be surprised just how many people get those two bloody molecules mixed up. H2O is what comes out of your kitchen tap, but I managed to get it across, sort out their needs and came through for Lennard.

It was Friday night and I was relaxing in the Plains hotel restaurant/bar. I'd just got off the phone to Kelly. She complained to me that she was missing me, and I comforted her as much as I could over the phone. Kelly had asked me where I was eating that evening, and I made comment about the only respectable place in town was where I was staying.

The setting was old and it showed, but it was clean and decorous, the only place in town that you could possibly eat at and not end up in hospital with food poisoning. I was sitting at the bar chatting to a sales representative.

Okay, travelling salesman! Shut up. There's not a lot of engineers out in the field, ok, anyway, I was waiting for a table to become vacant.

Just then, my latest companion slid from his stool beside me and I bid him a good night. I was about to order another beer when a voice stopped my hailing of the bartender, "Is this seat taken?"

I turned to see a very pretty redhead in her mid to late twenties standing to the side of me and enquiring about the now vacant stool, and holy shit, she was good eye candy. "No by all means it's all yours." I replied in my most suave and sophisticated tone of voice. I noticed that she was dressed nicely, if a little more upmarket than the place warranted.

Come on fellas, I may have been married, but I'm not dead yet. "Waiting for a table?" I enquired for no other reason than to pass the time.

The woman smiled. "Yes and no, as a matter of fact. I was waiting outside for my date. He was supposed to be here half an hour ago. I thought I'd come in and get a drink while I waited, but I have this sinking feeling that I've been stood up."

I managed to get the bartender's attention. "Can I buy you a drink while you wait?"

"That would be lovely thank you. "Turning to the bartender, she informed him, "A white wine would be nice." Then back to me, "My name's Sarah, by the way."

Nice to meet you Sarah; mine's James, not Jim or Jimmy, but James!" I ordered the drinks and offered small talk. She gave me that look that everyone gives me when I give my little speech.

"You come here often Sarah?" I enquired, more to distract her from asking the obvious question.

"Good heavens no! I have no idea why Bill wanted to meet here of all places. I travel a lot and this would have to be the worst place to be stuck in for the night. My date is someone I knew from school, and when he found out I was going to be around town for the day, he talked me into having dinner with him."

"You can't rely on anyone these days." I sympathised.

"Are you from around here...James?" Sarah asked while sipping her wine.

"We've only just met and you're insulting me already," I chuckled. "Damn backside of the world if you ask me. No, I'm like you, here on business and I'll be happy to get out of here tomorrow afternoon."

One of the wait staff came up and informed me that a table had now become available. I looked to Sarah and quickly thought why the hell not, again that damn Newcastle Song coming to mind. You remember the one; ohhh hell, just google it for Christ's sake.

"Would you do me the honour of having dinner with me, since your date is a no show? You'd be doing me a favour, as I really hate eating alone! I'm not sure how long you'll have to wait for another table."

I could see a little indecision on her face before she relaxed, "Ohhh what the hell! He can go jump in the lake! If he can't be on time, then he's not worth the effort. Thank you James, I'd be delighted." Dinner was pleasant if for no other reason than I had company. We talked about our interests both work and leisure. I had a small concern when Sarah started to get a little personal, but managed to avoid any awkward questions.

We were just finishing dessert when I felt Sarah had overstepped the mark, when she made it clear that she would like to continue the night. "Maybe dancing or somewhere more private?"

I held up my left hand, twirled the ring on it, and smiled. "Not trying to embarrass you or anything, but I'm a happily married man Sarah, although thank you for stroking my ego. You are a very beautiful woman, and I appreciate your interest, but I'm a one woman man."

Sarah's face reddened. "Ohhh I'm sorry for being so forward, please accept my apology. It's just that I'm on the road for so long that finding someone to...how should I say this without embarrassing myself...to relieve my stress levels is hard, and I found you attractive, intelligent and funny. You certainly are a breath of fresh air around here. I didn't notice the ring. Please forgive me. You must really love your wife?"

The thought she was tripping over herself trying to apologise, struck me as funny. "Yes Sarah I do!" Moreover, her statement that she hadn't seen my wedding band, gave me pause, as I had certainly noticed she wasn't wearing one, but accepted her apology anyway. "Don't beat yourself up over it; I've enjoyed your company. I'm pleased to be at least a consolation dinner companion, in lieu of your missing dinner date. Your company has been intellectually stimulating and humorous as well. As I said, I hate eating alone and it would have been nice if I had someone like you for all the other boring meals I've had to sit down too."

Kelly met me at the door in a black lace negligee, stay up stockings, high heels and nothing else when I got home. They say that women dress to impress. Well let me tell you, the less they dress the more impressed I am. Okay, so she wasn't in only heels, or kneeling with a beer in hand, but it was close, and too damn close for me to be complaining about the discrepancy. "I get that sneaky suspicion I'm not off the clock as yet?" I said with an enormous grin on my face.

"Damn right lover, you've got some work cut out for you to make up for three lonely nights I had to suffer through. You'll be lucky if I don't fuck you to death." Ohhh well, at least she was at the door ... offering something.

I grinned, well wouldn't you; we are making headway here, aren't we? "Now this is the sort of overtime I could get a liking for sweetheart. Lead the way, and I'll follow you to the ends of the earth."

Kelly grabbed my tie. "Bugger the end of the earth; that's way too far. The bedroom will do just nicely." Kelly proceeded to fuck me into oblivion, only coming up for air when thirst demanded we replenish our body fluids.

I waltzed into Lennard's office feeling on top of the world with, "Morning Shorty. Who's the man?"

Lennard eyed me for a moment, and I wondered what his problem was. "I gather you feel you're the man, but all I see is a giraffe on steroids. I take it the trip went well?"

"It couldn't have been better. I have to go back in a couple of weeks to finalise storage and handling, as well as go over their OH&S controls, but apart from that, it was a success. Stanton Chemicals is now looking at a good share dividend this quarter. I also want to thank you for your efforts with my domestic problem. Things have never been better!"

Lennard hesitated, which looked odd, but then he smiled and waved his hand dismissively. "It's much easier to see straight when you're not the one wearing the rose coloured glasses." Lennard looked like he wanted to say more but didn't. I suppose having two failed marriages does that to a man. "I'll see that you have a little extra in your pay packet from this week forward. Good job son ... muchly appreciated."

The weeks went fast, and home life had settled back to what it used to be before the troubles started. I was facing my second trip to Caxton and I was worried what Kelly was going to say about my absence again. "It should only be over night, but if things don't go well, then I may have to stay a little longer, but you can count on me getting home as soon as I can."

However, I found myself surprised by her reply. Kelly smiled. "I understand sweetheart. We survived your last trip." The mischievous glint was obvious in her eyes. "Barely! Therefore, this trip won't be any problem, as long as you take your vitamins for a return bout of bedroom boffing. I know you're providing us with a comfortable lifestyle and I appreciate it sweetie."

I laughed, "I can see that I'll have to ask Lennard for the whole week off this time."

This trip wasn't any better than the last in fact, and I had upped the workload, so I could get out of this god forsaken place a day earlier if possible. Long hours and even tighter schedules than they had planned, made for a tiring trip, my phone call home tonight due to be my only relief.

Again, I was sitting at my table and pondering the menu like a fish out of water, when my concentration was interrupted by the waitress, "Excuse me Mr Barrymore, would you like some company for dinner. There's a lady at the bar who's here on her own and I thought that maybe..." The waitress petered off as my attention was caught by the woman she was referring to or I thought she was referring to.

Holy fucking hell, if she was the one I was ogling! I quickly scanned the restaurant, and of course she had to be. She was the only unaccompanied female in the place, and damn she was easy on the eyes. "By all mean send her over; eating alone is no fun at all."

The waitress made the introduction, "Mr Barrymore, this is Ms Stevens." The waitress helped her with her chair. "Would you like me to get a menu for you Ms Stevens?"

The woman nodded to the waitress while holding out her hand, "First name's Michelle, only my friends call me Mikki; I'm pleased to meet you Mr Barrymore. I hope this isn't an imposition to your evening meal."

I almost sent my chair flying as I rose to greet my dinner guest. "No no I'm more than happy to have conversation with my dinner. My name's James, please... sit." I was so spell bound that I forgot my little spiel about being James, not Jim.

Have you ever met your dream girl? Well I can now say I have, this woman couldn't have been more perfect if I had custom ordered her out of a catalogue. Tall, slender, with long blonde silky hair, and no more than a very good handful ... Well, I'm sure you get the idea. I was half-tempted to check that my tongue wasn't laying limp on the table. God she was female perfection incarnate!

Plates arrived as beer and wine levels dropped, whilst the conversation was good, if a little stilted because of my lack of brainpower. Don't look at me like that! Looking at Michelle was like visualising the perfect molecule in all its glory. Two of my IQ points were required for eating, that left three to think with! You're right. The other one twenty were conspicuous by their absence, most likely checking out the chest on the vision that was sitting in the chair opposite, no doubt. Norman would have been stuff by this point, reduced to a slobbering idiot, and that's no condemnation of Norman, but you can see what I'm getting at here.

As it turned out, I was happy that those three were putting in a mammoth effort in doing what they're paid for, and that's keeping me out of trouble and doing the thinking. But there was something that just didn't gel in my mind, once I had gotten over the initial excitement of meeting this simulacrum of Aphrodite. Sorry, I get awfully formal when very serious, and it must have showed in my attention. Michelle paused between bites with a forkful of food held gracefully by slender manicured fingers, halfway to her mouth, "Something on your mind James?"

I put my knife and fork down and wiped my mouth on a napkin before laying it beside the plate, all the while trying to pull all my thoughts together in one solid theory. What was it though?

Not eating allowed the two points helping with that task, to now have time to huddle with the other three and do a little brainstorming. Okay, maybe it wasn't storming, probably closer to a slight precipitation, but I had effectively just about doubled my IQ! Michelle calling me James and not Jim like most people, especially since she obviously doesn't worry about having her name shortened, made up my mind to ask, "I'm a little perplexed by my good fortune of late."

See, what did I tell you, formal!

Michelle set down her fork and took a sip of wine, "Perplexed? I'm not sure what you mean James?"

There she goes again, James, not Jim or Jimmy! Suddenly there were alarm bells ringing, red flags popping up all over, and the one twenty recalcitrant points realised that there was something brewing and they had better get their arses back to work. Conditioned as I was to people not using my full name, this just stood out like dog's balls. I took the time to look around the restaurant, and with all my IQ points now working on one project, I was able to regroup and mount a good defensive. My formality just got stronger as I kept my voice low and modulated.

"I was here a couple of weeks ago and had the good fortune to meet and have dinner with another beautiful woman. Now I sit again with absolutely gorgeous company and wonder what I have done to make the gods of fate smile upon me once again!"

"One would think that you have a suspicious nature James?" Michelle placed her wine glass down and tilted her head in query.

Now I might be paranoid, but that doesn't mean that someone is not out, trying to kill me! For the first time in my life, I wished the person I was talking to would just call me Jim. I was feeling very uneasy.

"My sister has just had a baby, and is still in hospital. I'm here visiting her and decided I really didn't want to cook for myself, so I came down to the only place in town you can possibly eat, hoping to find food and friendship. Is there anything sinister in that?"

I smiled. "Not in the least Michelle. It's just that you are... and please forgive me for my forwardness. You are my vision of perfection! You look to be six foot, or thereabouts! Your legs go all the way to your... excuse the terminology, but go all the way to your eyeballs and such pretty crystal blue eyes the likes I have ever seen, they almost glow from within. Blonde hair down to your waist that flows like silk, and not to get too personal, but your other womanly charms are perfect as well. And that dress fits you so well, that it almost looks like it's painted on!"

Michelle had the good grace to blush at my rendition of her physical attributes. "Why James, are you trying to seduce me?" She batted her eyelids coyly. "Thank you for your kind words, but for a start, I'm just short of five eleven. I try not to let my vanity rule me, but like most women I do like to feel desired." She took another bite from her plate.

I sat and waited for Michelle to finish, flashes of Caroline's seduction attempt coming to mind. I now saw them as downright pathetic in comparison to Michelle. She looked as though she wanted to add, "With your flattery, what are we waiting for?" I almost laughed aloud, but kept it to myself. I now realised that Michelle's entire wardrobe was designed with this particular objective in mind, her hand movements were even more subtle than Caroline's. This woman knew her business!

"I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that everything I said was a seduction on my part. You are quite entitled to a modicum of vanity, that isn't what has me interested in your motives." I nodded over Michelle's shoulder. "There is one man over at a corner table, who on the surface seems to be a little more interested in us than the rest, which, by the way I can understand, because I have to admit, my ego is just tickled pink by their obvious jealousy. I know I'll have to put it on a strict diet after our evening, just to be able to function without looking arrogant. That man over there also looks familiar, but for the life of me I can't put a place to him."

"So?"

It was obvious that Michelle knew the effect she had on to opposite sex, and it showed in her smile, but she also looked a little antsy at the tone of the conversation I was setting.

"So! I have to look around and wonder; there are four unoccupied tables, but I understand your want for company, so that explains that one. You look to be no older than twenty-five, while I'm ten years your senior! Taking in all the males in the room I see at least two closer to your age, better looking, and dressed as well, if not better than me."

Michelle corrected me once again, "I'm thirty next month, but thank you for the compliment!" She was obviously trying to break my concentration.

I nodded in recognition and continued, "I have no wish to offend you Michelle, but I feel there is more to this dinner than I'm being let in on. You remember that equally beautiful woman I just spoke of, although I have to admit, not quite in your league, but only because I have a penchant for tall, blonde women. She made it clear that if I was interested, then the night could have ended ... Let's say on a more amorous note. Now I have my flesh and blood Venus de Milo sitting here in front of me, almost offering the very same scenario. Can you explain that to my satisfaction?"

Michelle took another big sip of wine this time and looked away for a second. "You seem to have a very poor opinion of your attraction to the opposite sex Mr Barrymore." I noticed the formality in change of names; she was backing off, but for what reason I could not fathom. "I can assure you, you stand head and shoulder above the others here in this restaurant in that regard." Michelle was still trying to remain professional, I was sure of that. I suddenly had a horrifying thought. 'Professional?' Surly not? That would just destroy my whole night if I found out that she was just drumming up business. "God I hope she's not on the game!"