The First Kiss

I sat there, typing that email, my feelings gushing out onto the page. It wasn't until I glanced up that I noticed he had signed online and was messaging me. It started with a tentative hello, and then a question, asking me if I was busy. I answered him, my heart pounding. I told him I was in the middle of writing to him. He asked me if it was a Dear John letter. He acted like it was a joke, but I could tell by the slowness of his responses that he was concerned that it might be. I then told him I was so sorry. I was a beast for the way I had treated him on the phone. I asked him to forgive me.

I launched into my reasons for my behavior, I told him how Karen had played devils advocate, and how I had caved to her reasoning. I then told him that I knew now that I was wrong. I told him I didn't care how we had met, or that I didn't really know who or what he was on a regular basis. I told him what I didn't know didn't matter. What I did know was that I needed him. I wanted him in my life, and that I couldn't bear the thought that I might lose his presence.

I couldn't believe when he finally replied to my onslaught of words. His only reply was one word. {KISS} it said. I melted. He took me in his cyber arms and held me, he rocked me, and told me everything would be ok. He stroked my hair and touched my face. He wiped the tears from my eyes, and kissed my eyelids. I could do nothing but sit there and let the emotions I felt wash over me. He pulled me close and held me, then bent his head down and kissed my lips. I pressed against him, and kissed him back, our tongues sliding next to one anothers. My hips pressed against him, and I could tell that not only had he forgiven me, but he wanted me.

In our other cyber encounters we let the act itself be of importance, the words described what he would do to me, what I would do to him, but this time, the words were buried under an outflowing of emotions. I was breathless as he picked me up and carried me over to the bed. My arms around his neck, kissing him as he layed me down.

Sitting on the bed beside me he ran his hand from my shoulder, slowly down and around my breast, then across the flat of my stomach, over my hip and down my thigh to my knee. With his hand on my knee he bent down and kissed me. As I arched my body up toward his, my lips pressed tightly to his, his hand climbed my thigh. Our kiss became more passionate as his hand slid up and he held it tight against my pussy. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my tongue slid into his mouth. My body came up to mold against his as his fingers pressed against my cunt.

Laying back, I began unbuttoning his shirt, and once it was off, I ran my fingers over his chest. He continued massaging my pussy as I tugged at the waist band of his pants, unbuttoning them. My fingers dipped into them as I unzipped them, and pulled out his rigid cock. My hand gripped at it and then, I suddenly sat back up, this time to pull my own shirt off, unlatching my bra and removing it also. He watched me as my breasts hung free then reached out and took one into his free hand. He leaned down and his lips closed over my nipple. He sucked it deep into his open mouth, his tongue stroking the nipple to the roof of his mouth. I cradled the breast from the side as he sucked it, my free hand caressing his head. I leaned down to kiss his head as he sucked harder. My body responded quickly to his loving, and I was wet and wanting.

I pulled his face up to mine, my lips covering his mouth, as I kissed him passionately. We both removed the last remnants of clothing from one another and he pushed me back down onto the bed, his body covering mine. As he slid between my legs, I could feel his cock pressing against my thigh. I parted my legs around him, my ankles locking around his waist and as I stretched up to kiss him, I felt his cock slip easily into my soaking pussy. He teased me. I was desperate for him and he would sink his cock barely into me, then withdrawal it. Over and over he would do this, stopping when he felt me pressing upward. I finally forced myself to relax and let him control our lovemaking.

My body pressed to his, he finally plunged his cock deep into me. I arched against him and grinded his cock tightly against my cervix, my pussy gripping and clenching his cock. He pressed his chest against mine, pinning me to the bed as he drove his cock deep into me again and again. I began meeting every thrust as we both were driven higher and higher towards orgasm.

As our bodies met, so did our minds. Every word written was a perfect meld of lovemaking, him responding to my every move in exactly the right way. We were connected on more than just a physical plane. Our connection made this internet lovemaking more than just words. I felt his body on mine, I felt his cock deep inside me, and when our bodies came together, both of us peaking and cumming at the same time, I felt my body responding to him, my pussy clenching around his cock, his cock pulsing inside me as his cum sprayed my inner walls. I was breathless as we both held each other tight. I had never had such an intense experience in my life. I was thunderstruck.

I couldn't have asked for a better way of showing forgiveness than he gave me that night. I felt so close to him, I wanted his even more now, than I had before. I dared to say I loved him. To my delight and surprise, instead of pulling back, he too, declared his love for me. I went to bed that night feeling high from our session. My body was thrumming with sexual tension. I felt so strong a need for this man that my body ached for him. My fingers played across my clit as I recalled our lovemaking. As I stroked myself, my fingers dipping deeply into my wet and hot cunt, I thought of Mark, I thought of his cock, stroking the inner walls of my pussy, I thought of his mouth on mine. As I writhed on the bed, my pleasure peaking, my fingers flying across my clit, my other hand pinching and twisting my nipples, It was Mark who was on top of me. As my pussy clenched around my fingers and my clit swelled and my hips arched up off the bed as I orgasmed, it was Mark whose ear I moaned into. I lay there panting afterward, on the brink of sleep, and as I rolled onto my side, a pillow clutched against me, it was he who I said good night to.

The following week, I would steal snatches of online time while Jeremy was over at friends or playing in the neighborhood. The emails that Mark and I traded became love notes. We yearned for each other. While it seemed silly that two people who had never even met could love each other, I didn't doubt our love for a moment. I had come to rely on Mark as a friend, lover and confidante. He was the person I thought of when I woke up, and the person who came with me into my dreams as I lay down to sleep at night.

It was incredible to me that I could have become so attached to a person in so short a time, but I had. There was no doubting my feelings for him. It seemed as though there wasn't another person in the world who understood me the way he did. There were times in our chatting where we would say the same words at the same time. We would laugh about it over and over as it happened. Our connection to one another was so strong. I felt alive when we spent time together online. I couldn't imagine we could have been any closer, even if we had met and dated under conventional circumstances. And besides, meeting online was becoming the usual way of meeting people, instead of at a bar at closing time.

At the end of the week, we decided we were ready to try a phone call again. Jeremy was going over to a friends house for a sleep over, and it seemed the perfect time to talk undistracted. I felt as if I should get dressed up and do my makeup and nails like this was a real date. I was so excited. I carried the cordless from room to room so I wouldn't miss hearing it ring. We had both agreed upon a time but I didn't want to rely on my poor sense of time and run an errand right at the time he called. I had already wasted one call with him due to my friend Karen's stupid meddling and I knew better than to keep Mark waiting any longer.

When the phone rang, I jumped startled and excited. I didn't want to answer the phone on the first ring though, so I forced myself to breath deeply and relax, counting the rings, grabbing it up just before it switched over to the answering machine. "Hello?" I answered, making my voice so sultry and sexy. "Hello there, sexy" said the voice on the other end. My stomach dropped as I heard him. "What do you want?" I replied, not so sweet anymore, realizing it was my ex's voice on the other end. Dammit I thought to myself. I hope Mark doesn't try to get through while I am talking to this jerk. He proceeded to tell me Jeremy had twisted his ankle playing soccer with a couple of the neighborhood kids, and while he had iced and elevated it all night, Jeremy was still complaining it hurt to walk on. He wanted me to come pick him up and take him to the doctors for an xray. I almost told him to do it himself, not wanting to leave the house and miss Mark's call, but I stopped myself. I knew that the request was probably coming from Jeremy and not the ex. Any time Jeremy was hurt or sad, distressed in any way, he always saught me for comfort and aid. I didn't want to let him down this time. Gathering up my carkeys and purse as I told John, my ex, I was on my way. I tossed the phone into the chair by the front door as I left. I almost thought I heard the phone ringing as I pulled out of the driveway, but I shook it off as my overactive imagination.

I didn't return until after 10pm, several hours of which were spent in the Emergency room, a busy place on a Sunday evening. Jeremy merely sprained his ankle, the x-ray was negative for a fracture. He did however get a complimentary ankle wrap and a cool set of crutches, I felt were going to end up in another injury from the way he swung them around and balanced himself on them. I was frazzled to say the least as we pulled up to the house. Walking through the door, Jeremys bags balanced under one arm while I unlocked it, I glanced across the room to see the answering maching blinking. Three messages waiting. Damn, damn damn, I thought to myself. Getting Jeremy settled in for the night took another half hour, and it was late by the time I sat down and listened to the messages. It seemed my imagination wasn't working overtime. From the timestamp on his message it had to have been him calling as I rushed out of the house. There was another message a few hours later, him again. I could hear the hurt and disappointment in his voice. The third message was from John, asking what happened and why weren't we home yet. I cursed at him for not handling things himself, he had cost me a chance to talk to Mark. Who knew when I would get the opportunity again. I glanced at the clock which now showed half past eleven, and knew I couldn't try to reach Mark that late. I was tempted to sneak into Jeremy's room and leave an email for Mark explaining what had happened, but Jeremy was far too light a sleeper for me to get away with that. I went to bed frustrated and distraught about the whole thing.

The following week was hectic to say the least. Carting Jeremy to school and picking him up (he usually walked but due to the crutches that was impossible) then sitting at the kitchen table trying to finish what work I brought home with me, Jeremy comfortable in his room playing an internet game, his foot propped on pillows. I knew I wasn't going to get a chance to touch base with Mark. It seemed to me that life was pushing me away from having a relationship with him. But then again, I didn't have time to have much of a relationship with anyone. Thinking back, it had been years since I was intimate with anyone at all. This thing with Mark was about the first time I had truly let my hair down and allowed someone close. He made me feel so alive. When we chatted I became reanimated. I had hopes and dreams. I let myself indulge in fantasies. I could only hope that Mark would give me the chance to explain my absence and give me another shot.

Several days went by before I got the chance to email Mark. It was Friday night, and I had let Jeremy stay up late to watch one of those action movies, Raiders of the something or other, and I guess it was not so adventuresome as I found Jeremy asleep on the couch halfway through it. I covered him with a blanket and moved his soda far enough away that his thrashing in his sleep wouldn't knock it over. Then I went into his room and after unburying his keyboard, signed on. Mark had of course left a few emails by now. He didn't seem angry in them , but there was a tone of hurt in the later ones. I replied to the last one, sent several days prior and tried to explain where I was and what I was doing that made me miss his call. I also let him know how badly I had wanted to talk with him, how much I missed him and let him know that I wanted to continue trying to make something out of our "relationship". I cut myself short, knowing my inclination to run on about things, and signed the email, sending it on its way. Now all I could do was wait and see if he responded.

I went to bed that night, a measure of hope restored and examined my feelings for Mark. He was the first person in a long time that could make me laugh, who really listened to me, who shared his life with me. As I lay there, sinking into slumber, I realized that I really wanted him in my life, and not just as an online personality, but as a real person. A person whom I could be intimate with, someone who I could love.

That night I had a dream. In my dream he and I were meeting for the very first time. We made arrangements to meet at a nearby upscale restaurant, it had intimate dining, a bar and a dancefloor. I was beside myself getting ready for the date. Karen was over and she was helping me chose what to wear. Half my closet lay scattered around my room, as I tried on dress after dress, skirt after skirt, pants, shirts, anything that would make me look wonderful. I ended up choosing the blue silk dress that felt smooth against my skin. I guess I figured if I couldn't win him over with my personality, at least if he danced with me, he would fall in love with the feel of my dress pressed against him.

I arrived at the restaurant a few minutes early and stood in the front. They had a wonderful koi pond there and I was leaning against the rail, scattering koi food and watching the fish clammer for a bite. They were beautiful, all the striking colors and sizes. I was so intent on watching the fish that I didn't notice the approach of another person. I felt his presence as he brushed his hand across my back and as I turned startled, he spoke. His voice was the way I recognized him.

I was stunned by his strong face and body. He smiled at me and introduced himself, like we had never met before. I laughed to cover my nervousness as I reached out my hand to shake his. As he took my hand he pulled me closer to him, and wrapped his arm about my waist. As I found myself pressed against his body I was overcome with desire for this man. I gazed up into his steely grey-green eyes and melted at the look of love reflected from them. His hands were around me, running up and down my back as I put mine up around his neck. My fingers ran through his soft brown hair and I leaned in toward him. As our lips were about to meet, I woke.

I lay there staring at the ceiling, my body aching for a man who I had never met. I reached down under the covers and stroked my fingers over the lips of my pussy, teasing them through the curls of hair there. My hand barely touching. My pussy pulsed with need as I parted the lips and pressed one finger into the slick folds. I spread the moistness up against my clit and stroked it until my hips began pressing upward from the bed. My clit had swollen and was peaking out through the folds, and I pressed against it. My finger slid around it over and over.

With my other hand, I pressed two fingers deep inside me, stoking the inner walls of my cunt. Increasing the pressure on my clit, I stroke over it again and again, as I plunged my fingers inside me. My hips rose and met the thrusts of my fingers, my body now shaking with the pleasuring I was giving myself. When I finally climaxed, I was shuddering and my pussy was clenching at my fingers. I fingerfucked myself over and over as my body shook, my pussy now slick and wet, my fingers now sloshing as I slid them in me again and again. Afterward I lay there, shaking from the intensity of my climax. I fell asleep thinking of Mark, sure that things would work out.

Sunday, I got up early, and made Jeremy and myself a huge breakfast. As I cooked, I thought of how it might feel to spend a lazy day in bed with Mark. He and I cuddling as we read the paper. Croissants and coffee on the bedside table. I imagined we would snuggle up against each other, one of us constantly reaching out for the other, stroking a thigh, rubbing a back, kissing a cheek. I could see us feeding one another croissants, heavily buttered, and licking the butter from each others lips. I knew that eventually our caresses and kisses would turn toward more serious loving. Lying on our sides facing one another, both of our heads on the same pillow, would stare into the others eyes, his hand caressing my side as I pressed forward and kissed him.

Kissing one another slowly, our lips pressing forward time and time again, loving kisses, until we became so aroused that the kissing would escalate. I would come up on one arm and lean over him, my mouth on his, my tongue running along his lips, parting them and darting into his mouth. My tongue running along the gumline of his teeth, then slipping further in and sliding along the side of his tongue. As we kissed, our passion escalating, his hands would be caressing my breasts. His fingers rolling my taut nipples between his fingers. Pressing them flat under his palm and rubbing them, making my body thrill with the pleasure.

After a short while, he would push me back down against the bed, his body sliding over mine and press himself onto me. I would love the weight of his body resting against mine, his lips kissing me, his tongue slipping into my mouth, his hard cock pressing against my inner thigh. My legs would come up and encircle his waist, his cock now pressing against the slick moist folds of my cunt. My arms up would slip up around his neck as he pressed his cock into those folds, the head penetrating me. I would quiver as his cock sunk further into me. Our bodies would move together as one, every inch of his hardened cock plunging deep into me over and over again. It was here that I realized the bacon was on fire. But so was my pussy, I was so hot by now, my daydream fueling my fire, I didn't know how I was going to wait much longer to meet this man.

It wasn't so hard, Monday through Friday, with work and taking care of Jeremy, I hardly had time to wonder what Mark was up to, and if he was thinking of me. Not saying I didn't. There was many a time when I would be startled out of another hot daydream by a car horn behind me. The light had turned green how long ago? Another time, the dear old lady at the grocery store rammed her cart into mine to get me to move up my place in line. Even Jeremy noticed my distraction. He didn't complain as much as I might have over the sandwich I sent him to school with that had no meat in it. He did however raise an awful stink about me turning his favorite t-shirt red, by putting it in with the new towels for the guest bath. OK, I admit it, I was a walking hormone! Just a glance at the cucumber in the vegetable tray made me wet.

Thank god it was the weekend that Jeremy went to his dad's house. On Friday night after dropping him off at this dads house, I rushed home. I didn't get any speeding tickets, but that was only because I learned early on that crying when the cop stops you gets you a warning instead of a citation. Poor Scruff got the shortest walk of her life, and showed her appreciation by eating my slippers. Something I didn't even notice until the following morning. I threw together a plate of leftover spaghetti, a glass of wine, and breaking my own rule about eating in the bedroom went in Jeremy's room and camped out on his computer. I didn't waste all my time waiting though, I'll have you know, I got some good bargains shopping early for Christmas!