The First Ninety Days Ch. 13

He lay down beside her and put his arm around her waist.

"Whoa! That's cold," she said.

"...Well, yeah," said Jon. "I just washed it. Look, Caitlyn... Do you want to stop?"

She turned her head to look at him. "Doyou want to stop?"

"What I want," he said, "is for you to enjoy what we do. If you aren't, then there's no point in continuing."

She was silent for a moment.

"I..." she said. "Well, it doesn't feelbad. But it doesn't feelgood either. It's just... Strange." She colored. "I keep thinking how it might feel better if it was... No, I can't say it."

"If I were using my mouth?"

She colored further. "But I can't ask you to do that. It's icky."

Jon didn't cherish the thought, but... "I'd do it anyway, if you wanted."

"I don't want you to dothat! Jon, I'm not worth that!"

"So... You're telling me that it's worth doing, but it's not worth doing right."

She flipped to her back to glare at him. "If you keep contradicting me, Iwill make you kiss my ass."

There was no good response to that. "Look, hon. Do you want to stop?"

She was silent for a moment.

"I... I dunno. It, just... It's so, like, predetermined—what we're doing. It's like, 'Durr, okay, we've decided that we're gonna play with Caitlyn's butt tonight,' and everyone's just going straight there—"

" 'Everyone'?"

"Okay, fine,not everyone. But it's, like, sodetermined. Like we're on a mission or something."

"Yeah."

"Can we just... Can we just... Do what we normally do? You know, just... Just make love. And then, if... Certain... Other zones... Happen to get involved, then they... Happen to get involved."

In answer, he kissed her. "You should be in charge of everything. You always know what to do."

"Except when it comes to my butt."

"Hey, I'm learning too. We're both in the dark."

"Not really," said Caitlyn, "seeing as how the light's on."

"We can turn them off," he said. "I think I can still find my way around."

This sounded pretty lame, even as he said it, but on Caitlyn it had a surprising effect. "...You reallyare serious, aren't you."

"About what?"

"About making me feel comfortable about this."

"Well... Yes," said Jon, feeling as though this maybe should've been obvious.

She was silent for a moment.

"The lights are okay," she said finally. Then she reached up to draw him down to her. "Andyou, my beloved man, have some new experiences to introduce me to."

"Your wish, my beloved wife, is my command."

"Happy Valentine's Day."

It was, indeed, more natural this time. They kissed; they fondled; his erection firmed between them, and soon his hand was tasting her wetness as she gasped her ardor into his neck. This time, when he touched her entry for the first time, she understood.

After a time of gentle massage, he said that he would like to put some lube on her ass and see what happened. Caitlyn still seemed a little nervous. "You're going to try to put something up there?"

"Just a finger. And it won't go anywhere unless you want it to. And we'll use so much lube there's no possible way it could hurt. My finger is smaller than what normally, umm, passes there."

She rolled her eyes, but kissed her acceptance.

A moment later he had poured a generous dollop of KY between her cheeks. Caitlyn giggled. "Ooh, I've never quite feltthat before." It suddenly occurred to Jon to wonder why he hadn't ordered some wine or something with dinner. For Caitlyn to be lightly buzzed right now... But then, she'd never shown any inclination to alcohol, and to be honest he liked that about her. He liked that she could have fun with a straight face. He liked that she could do things like this without having to lubricate her courage.

There were so many things he loved about her.

He set the tip of his finger at the tip of her asshole. "May I?"

He could see her nerves, but she nodded. "What do I do?"

"Just relax." He kissed her. "Relax, and concentrate on feeling... Open."

She gave him a wry smile. "Nowthere's a pleasant image." But she closed her eyes and began to breathe slowly.

He bent to kiss her. "I love you," he whispered, "so much."

"I love you too, baby, but you've got something to do and a wife with only so much nerve." She arched an eyebrow without opening her eyes.

As he expected, her outer sphincter opened without much trouble; it was probably relaxed by now anyway. The inner one, however, remained resolute for a few seconds, until Caitlyn took a deep breath. Then his pinkie passed through. He was glad he had covered it with lube, for now it passed slowly into her until he was buried to the knuckle; he knew she could feel the rest of his hand bumping up against her body.

Caitlyn opened her eyes.

"That was... Anti-climactic," she said, "kind of."

"How does it feel?"

"It..." Her brow creased in concentration. "It doesn't hurt, if that's what you're asking. It's not unpleasant. There's a little bit of a stretching sensation, but according to what I read, that's normal."

"Yeah."

"It... It doesn't feelbad, per se... But it doesn't really feelgood either. It's just... There. There's just a thing in my butt." She paused a moment, then said: "I can't believe I said that with a straight face."

Jon kissed her, and then returned to her nipples to reawaken her arousal.

They did it several more times, each time introducing a larger finger; by now, Jon's hand felt wet and rather sticky. By the time he had traded up to his middle finger, she was rather more into it, no longer losing her arousal and possibly even finding pleasure in the contact. He knew better than to expect her to completely go crazy over it and find it instantly comfortable; the human body didn't work like that. He had no idea how she'd taken tonormal sex so easily, for that matter.

The first time he withdrew his pinkie, he surreptitiously brought it up to eye level. To his surprise, it was completely clean. He wasn't sure what hehad been expecting, but it wasn't this pristine condition.Well, Caitlyn's a neat person by nature; maybe that extends to, umm, even her butt.

"Are you ready to, umm... To try the next level?" he said.

"Umm..." She bit her lip. "Are you?"

"If you are," he said. "Caitlyn, I'm okay with anything. We have time. We have the rest of our lives. Whatever you feel comfortable with, that's what we'll do."

She bit her lip.

"Let's do it."

She rolled onto her side while he got the condom on and put another squirt of lube against her ass; the inner sides of her cheeks were already pretty much coated, but that wasn't going to help with his entry. He rubbed his latex-sheathed cock up and down the crack of her ass, trying to get as much lube on its surface as possible. Then he positioned the tip of his cock at her entrance.

"Ready?" he said.

"Ready," she said.

It took longer for the head to get inside; it was rather larger in diameter than anything else they'd put inside her thus far. There was another short delay as Caitlyn winced a little and took a deep breath; then he was in, sliding in slowly until he was buried to the hilt.

He slid his body up behind hers and kissed her ear. "How are you doing, baby?"

"I'm... I'm really... Full," she said in a somewhat-strained voice.

"Does it hurt?"

"It's a lot... It's a lot bigger than anything else that went there," she said.

Jon hadn't thought to have a variety of objects on hand for a prolonged dilation process. "Do you want me to pull out?"

"I don't want you to moveat all right now," she grumbled.

"Does it hurt?"

"No, it doesn't... It's a stretch, but it doesn't really hurt. But I don't... Know if I like it."

"It's okay," he said. "We'll just... We'll just stay here until you know what you want."

They did. Caitlyn didn't seem in the mood for conversation, so he didn't say much; it was a little surreal to be there, almost painfully erect, his cock swallowed by her ass and clenched tightly by her anal sphincter. Her opening here was rather tighter than her pussy, but once into her bowel the sensation dropped off sharply. He felt like he could move around inside her without touching anything, rooted as he was by her assholes. It was definitely different than normal sex, that much was certain.

"I never thought I'd be here," she said suddenly.

"Be where?"

"Well... Valentine's Day. You know how hard it is to be single on Valentine's Day?"

"As someone who has been exactly that for most of his life... Yeah, I do."

"And for a long time, it was like... 'Ha-ha, you're stuck here. You aren't going anywhere. You're single, and that's it for the rest of your life.' And I couldn't see any way to change that—I wasn't meeting anybody; the people I did meet were all older, or over the Internet... I didn't have any friends. I was just... Stuck."

"So you never thought you wouldn't be alone on Valentine's Day."

"Yeah. And then, sex, just... Ugh. You know it was never something I concerned myself with. I figured, you know, Yeah, it'llhappen—if I ever get married, and fat chance ofthat, but on the off-chance I do—it'll happen, because I want to have babies, but I always thought of it as... Just... Something I'd have to do. Something I'd submit to, because it was my duty. A means to an end. I never thought I'd enjoy it. I never thought I'd do it just... Just because it's fun to do."

"Yeah."

"And now... To be here... With a husband, enjoying sex... And having his penisin my butt."

"Umm... From the sound of your voice, it sounds like you aren't enjoyingthis very much."

"No, I don't think I am. Pull out of me, Jon."

He did. And that was the end of that.

Jon checked the latex. It was still pure white; no smudges of brown, and, more importantly, no stains of red. For that, at least, he was glad. He pulled the condom off and put away the lube while Caitlyn stood up—a little bow-legged and awkward—and shut herself in the shower. He went to the sink in the kitchen and washed his hand of the immense coating of lube it had suffered; there was some on his groin as well, but it was going to be harder to get that off without a shower, which Caitlyn was using.

He hoped this whole incident wasn't going to cause problems. If they did, he wondered what they might be, and how he would have to deal with them.

He was still lost in thought when Caitlyn came out of the shower; in fact, he didn't notice until she perched on the bed beside him. Her hair was slicked down and her skin glowed; clouds of fragrant steam billowed from the bathroom door.

"You were thinking hard," she said.

"Yeah, I just... I dunno. It... That wasn't how I saw things going."

"That wasn't how I saw things going either," she said. "Though, I guess I gained more than I lost."

He wasn't entirely sure what this comment was referencing, so he kept silent.

"Would you be okay," she said, "if I said I didn't really want to do that again?"

"I would be fine with that," he said.

"Really? I figured you wouldn't want to give it up. I thought you'd like it."

"No, I had no idea whatsoever. I wasn't sure if I'd like it. I just... Wanted to see what would happen."

"To explore."

"Yeah."

"Well... Fair enough. But, the... Well. You're my husband. But even so, I think that's all the exploration you're entitled to."

"Okay." He dared to glance at her. She was brushing out her hair; she wasn't looking at him. In fact, for all their conversation, she didn't seem to have acknowledged him at all.

"Caitlyn...?" he said. "Are we... Are we okay?"

"What do you mean," she asked without turning.

"Is this... Is this something that's gonna... Cause problems? For us?"

The brush faltered for a moment.

"I just... When we were lying there, when you were in my... Butt... And you've got gunk all over your hand and I've got slippery stuff all over my butt, and I just suddenly thought... 'Why are we wasting time like this? Why are we bothering with all this stupidity when he could just... Just slide in my front side and be...' I mean, it always worked that way. We never had to do so much... Work."

"Well, true, but... What would you be saying if it turned out that you loved it and were glad we tried?" he said. "Hindsight is 20/20."

"No, you're right, and that's a valid point. But... I just couldn't help feeling that... That it was wrong for me. That it was wrong forus." She turned to face him. "You didn't enjoy it much, did you."

He wondered what the right answer was to this question. If he said he hadn't, would she be offended that she had compromised herself without gain? Especially since this was something sinful by her account. And yet, to him, there was no meaningful answer but the truth. "It was... I could live without it," he said. "It wasn't likebad, but it wasn't special either. Maybe if we explored it more we'd find out what it was good for, but, I wouldn't regret it if we didn't."

She nodded. "I knew you'd say that. It's like I said. That just... That just isn't our direction."

"Okay." He leaned close to kiss her forehead. "I can understand that."

She sighed. "Never thought I'd spend Valentine's Day like this."

"Like what? Not alone, having sex for fun, and doing it up the bum?"

She grimaced. "Finding out that, even when you act from love, sometimes you still make mistakes."

There didn't seem to be anything to say to that.

"Well, umm..." he said. "It's still Valentine's Day. There's still a couple hours left on the clock. What else can we do to put some of the magic back in your day?"

She shook her head. "Can you... Can you just hold me? Tonight? No more messing around, no more politics, no more of... All of that. Just... Just the fact that we love each other. Nothing more."

"Of course," he said, and tilted her face up for a gentle kiss. "Your wish is my command."

"Thanks."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Happy Valentine's Day." It was her line, but he said it, hoping to put a little laughter on her face.

But all he got was a worn smile. She said, "Yeah."

Day 72

When Caitlyn awoke on Tuesday morning, her butt was still sore.

It had been like this ever since their disastrous little flirtation with her nether regions last Thursday, and Caitlyn was starting to get concerned. Jon was solicitous and concerned—he always was; God had made him that way, and Jon could no more detach himself from it than stop breathing—but she could tell that he didn't think it was anything worrisome. To be fair, there was no burning pain, no blood, no constipation problems; but sometimes she felt like there was something still up in there, and that it might come clattering out at any time. This was ridiculous, and she knew it; nothing hadgone there, besides Jon's bare fingers and his not-so-bare member, and all of those things had come out again. Yet she couldn't help but suspect. Perhaps Jon had inserted something while she wasn't paying attention... But what?—and to what purpose? Her husband would never do something like that. Besides, what could he have put in? A tracking device? Why? And why there, when she might accidentally flush it out with remains of last night's dinner some day? The whole thing was ludicrous. There was nothing wrong with her rear.

It still didn't keep her from feeling a little sore.

Today she woke up first, finding herself conscious and in his arms. She had been here many times, of course; but right now, 'here' was a place where she felt absolutely no thrill, had absolutely no desire for his body, and she didn't like how comfortable she was beginning to feel in this place.This has happened too many times before. We get into fights, he detaches; we get into fights, I detach. And we didn't even really have a fight! We had a discussion—completely mutual, completely civil—that sodomy was not our thing. He agreed with me, and I agreed with him. So what's going on?

Why do we keep fighting? What's going on with our marriage? We never had problems like this when we were dating. True, we never had sex like this either, but... (And there's another thing. Before, it wasn't a big deal if we never did it, because, well, we never did it. Now that wehave a sex life, it's a problem when we don't anymore. Things have just gotten complicated.) What changed to make us have all these disagreements? She wasn't sure, but she knew people who would insist on Ockham's Razor. What changed in your marriage? Perhaps, the fact that you have one?

When she turned to look at him, his eyes were open.

The words tumbled out of her before she could stop them: "Jon, do you love me?" She felt her face reddening—what a thing to blurt out! How much more insecure—how much moretacky—could you get?

But Jon merely blinked a couple of times. "Of course," he said. "You're my wife, my love, the apple of my eye—everything I live for. Of course I love you."

She pressed herself into his arms with hysterical strength, trying to ignore the burning in her eyes. "Then love me. Take me. Make me your woman. Make us one."

He did. They kissed and touched in the grey morning light, fumbling at each other, stroking each other's faces. She was not ready, but she pulled him into herself anyway, feeling the way he filled her, the way he pushed at her inner walls. He pumped and strained away inside her, but did not kiss her. And when he finally filled her with his seed, she felt no pleasure at its warmth pooling in the crevices of her body, no joy at having brought him to his climax.

When she showered, his cum leaked out of her. She could tell by the sudden feeling of warmth passing between her nether regions. She had never liked that sensation: completely aside from her goal of keeping his spend inside her, there was a creepy, slimy feeling involved when it suddenly came splashing out. For a wild moment she wondered if she could somehow stuff it back in using the shower head; then she cleared her head, and sighed, and reached for the soap.

It was all wrong.

Jon was not waiting for her when she emerged from the bathroom; he was sitting on the couch, staring off into oblivion. When he heard her move, his vision suddenly seemed to focus.

"Something's wrong," he said.

"What?"

"There's something between us," he said. "There's something that's making us... That's keeping us apart."

Caitlyn wondered if she should be angry it had taken him this long to notice. But she nodded. Really, she was just glad hehad noticed. After all, this wasn't about him pulling away in secret.

"Any idea what it is?"

She felt a flash of indignation that he would assume she was keeping secrets from him. Then she realized he was probably just asking, with no implications intended. And besides, it was a valid question. "No idea at all." What if shehad known? Wouldn't that have made things simpler?

"Is it related to... Thursday?"

In the days leading up to February 14th, it had been 'Valentine's Day' in all their conversations. Now it was just 'Thursday.' "I don't... I don't think so. Maybe. I don't know. It... I haven't been waking up with screaming nightmares about it or anything."

"Yeah, I noticed."

He would; he was sharing her bed, after all. "Do you know?"

He shook his head. "I have some... I have some ideas. But nothing concrete."

"Tell me if anything comes up."

"I will."

"I'm tired of this. I don't want to... Can't we come up with a better way to argue? Instead of just... Erecting walls. Erecting walls so that we can't even touch each other anymore." She felt tears burning at her eyes again and blinked to force them back.