tagHumor & SatireThe First Time I had the Buttsex

The First Time I had the Buttsex


There was this European girl I met while I was sunbathing in South Beach. Probably somewhere in her early twenties, she had shoulder length wavy blond hair, sparkly blue eyes, creamy white skin, and rosy cheeks that had a small smattering of freckles. She stood a leggy 5-6, and her body was the definition of tight, somewhat athletic but not too muscular, with perky C-cup breasts and an apple-shaped bottom one could bounce quarters off.

I can't remember her name, but it was weird sounding, and she was from some tiny country in Europe that I'd never heard of and couldn't pronounce the name of.

After getting her phone number, we made plans for later that night. We were supposed to go to Ocean Drive but instead we met on Lincoln Road, where we had a few drinks at "Cafeteria," and then took a rickshaw taxi back to my apartment for a nightcap.

Back at my apartment, we sparked up some Jamaican red-haired ganja and slammed several Jagerbombs...

The weed and drink had me totally blitzed and I can't recall who started it, but next thing I remember, we're in bed in our birthday suits and her vagina was in my mouth.

Following a good bit of carpet-chomping, she flipped over, got on all fours, and pointed her apple-shaped ass at my face. I rose up, clutched my throbbing penis in hand, aimed and placed it in her vaginal opening, but she craned her neck around and whispered in her strange European accent-

"No, put it in other hole."

Other hole-

The bonus tunnel

The brown eye

The chocolate starfish

The anus

I'd never penetrated an anus before...

(The closet I'd came was the time I was drunk and making out with a chubby Korean girl at a party; I don't know what came over me but I put my hand down the back of her pants and stuck my index finger into her butthole. She got mad about it, punched me in the arm, and walked away.)

Anyhow, I brought my penis up to the crevice of the European girl's anal passageway and tried to insert it, but could not. Her bonus tunnel was far too tight. Not that my penis is that large, but her sphincter was so small, and I wondered how I'd ever be able to infiltrate it.

So I decided to put my pointer finger up in there to loosen it up a bit. I slid my finger in slowly and was pleased by how tight and warm her European anus felt. She responded with a series of joyous murmurs, and I was glad she didn't turn around and punch me in the arm like the Korean girl did.

After loosening her up with my finger, I realized I'd probably have better luck anally penetrating her if I used some lubrication, so I removed my finger from her rectal cavity and grabbed my tub of Vaseline I usually use for masturbating and slathered my erect penis with it and even rubbed some over her asshole, as well as the inner folds of her perennial divide.

Then I gently glided my throbbing member in between her slippery buttcheeks and worked it up into her rectum with a corkscrew motion.

As my penis popped in, I felt a tsunami of delight crash over me, as her anus gripped my wang with a heat and strength I can't ever remember feeling...

I sighed and pumped my wiener in and out slowly and she moaned and groaned and made incomprehensible mutterings in what must've been her native language; I didn't understand what she was saying but figured and hoped she was enjoying the experience.

(And as I discovered the wonders of the buttsex, I started to realize why so many people probably become homosexuals.)

The sexual inferno of her asshole and its kung fu grip were too much for me, and after only a couple minutes I ejaculated a massive orgasm into the European girl's buttocks, and she cried out in pleasure as I delivered her a hot sperm enema, which her anus muscles milked out of my penis like a farmer milking a cow.

Exhausted, we collapsed to the bed, shared a cigarette, and then ate some Italian ice cream.

I don't remember much about the rest of that night and if it involved anymore assplay or not and I only saw that European girl a couple more times before she went back to her country that I couldn't pronounce the name of.

I've never seen or talked to her since she left Miami but I will always cherish the time we spent together.

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