The Five Deadly Rules of Heartbreak

The case study said that as he was leaving his office, the Loma Prieta earthquake struck. The man was almost killed. Bricks and large chunks of the building came down on both sides of him, narrowly missing him. At that instant, the man realized that he could have been killed. That realization served as a wakeup call. The man looked at his life and saw how unhappy he was. He saw all the things he wanted to do before he died. The man hurried home, packed, and left his wife and kids without a word.

About four years later the authorities found the man. He was happily married with one child. The police arrested him and sent him for a psychological evaluation. The psychiatrist deduced that when he was almost killed, the man reacted.

His view of the world drastically changed to include the possibility of life ending at any moment and the man acted accordingly.

He ran away, leaving all responsibilities behind. But over time, the man realized, sub-consciously that he did not live in a world where death followed him around every corner, so he began to revert to the comfortable life before the earthquake. He became just what he was before, a happily married family man.

Maybe that is how it is with me. When I was in love and could trust the people I loved, I was a good, honest man. I never fudged on my taxes, told lies, or seriously thought about another woman. Mary was my life and I loved her with all my being. Except for the pain of losing someone close to you, the betrayal of someone you love so intensely hurts the most; it's a pain that buries itself deep within your soul and strangles your heart. When my world changed in an instant, I became something else. I am not happy that that person resides inside me.

I have some choices to make in the future. Do I stay a recluse with walls surrounding my soul that prevent that bad me from coming out. Or can I let people in, a little at a time, to re-introduce the good me to the world. I don't know where the answer to that question lies. That little blond girl at the patisserie is cute though.