The Flight of the Old Grouch

"Not Mackie Ann Stone, are you kidding?"

"No, and she is more beautiful in person than on TV."

"You are kidding me. Right?"

"Nope, come and see, we have been talking about spending a week at the Marquesas. Why don't you fly down and spend a couple of days on the house boat. Are you in love with this gal?"

"I sure am, very much so."

"Great, even better. Let me call you back, how is the Goose coming, 'bout done?"

"Just flew her to Montana and back. Best trip of my life."

"Let me firm things up and I'll call you. Are you afraid to leave her in salt water for a couple days?"

"Hell, No! She is like new, built for salt water."

I hung up and grinned at Golden Dawn. Guess what! Are you a Mackie Ann Stone fan? You are, well you and I may be going to spend a couple of days with her.

"Us, with Mackie Ann, I love her voice. She is really good."

"My friend is married to her. I didn't even know. Wow!"

I dialed another number, "Lee, Ted Stewart here, how are ya?"

"Great, did you hear about Tag getting married?"

"I just talked to him, going down to see him soon I hope.

Hell, I don't want to see Tag, I've seen him before, I want to see Mackie."

"She is really something to see. How about stopping and we'll go wet a line on your way up or back?"

"I may just take you up on that, I'll be bringing a lady friend with me. She is trout fly angler. I would love to see her hook up with a decent bonefish."

"Does she have a clue?"

"Not really! Who really does?"

"Give me a call when you know your plans. Looking forward to seeing you again Ted."

"Well, I have a couple of trips set up for us."

"Ted, darling, you don't have to do all that for me, I would be just as happy fishing with you in your pond. I loved fishing for you in your tub last night," she grinned.

"Me too! You can catch some wonderful tasting things in that tub."

"I know I caught a big eel or something in there last night, delicious."

"You are a really naughty girl, now I can't stand up. These jeans are way too tight."

"Take them off, I'll lock the door."

"Hey, I want to go in town first and take you shopping. I bet you don't have any swim suits, or warm weather dresses with you. You will need them in the Keys. Shorts and all that stuff. How long since you have been to a mall?"

"I haven't been in a couple of years. I would love to go."

"I'll have Hiro being the car out front. We can get lunch in town."

We had a super day in the mall. We bought Goldie lots of really cute outfits. Not just summer stuff either. She got a complete new wardrobe. Head to toe. Inside out. She was worried I was spending too much, then she saw how excited and pleased I was to be buying things for her and went along with it. I had to make trips back to the car and put things in the trunk when it was too much to carry. Then the trunk was full. The last load was a biggie. We both staggered under boxes and bags. Then we went to Sears and I bought a large folding cart we could pull along with us. Made it lots easier. When we were both given out we unloaded the cart and folded it and barely had room to get it in the Caddy too. We had to go straight home. I called Hiro and Anna to help us unload.

I pulled up on the lawn next to the door to the screen pool enclosure and we started unloading. Luckily the whole ladies closet in the master suite was empty. We filled it up. Dressers and vanities too. Boxes and bags littered the pool deck where we threw them out the doors when they were empty. Hiro and I took things out of boxes and bags and handed them to Anna and Goldie for proper storage. The girls had a wonderful time looking at everything as it was put away. Finally we were done. I looked at Golden Dawn and kissed her gently. "This will have to last until the next time I hear you say 'I haven't a thing to wear'. Then we'll do it again."

"Oh! Goodie, we get to go again next week." I flopped on the bed on my back, "Next week?" Goldie flopped next to me and kissed me, "Thank you for all my beautiful things, I love this the most." She held up her left hand and admired the engagement ring on her finger. She kissed me again and again.

Several days later Goldie and I packed a few things and pulled the Cessna jet out of the hanger. It is a cute little bugger. Actually it was a very deadly counterinsurgency aircraft. The side by side seating made it attractive to me, I like to be able to see my passenger and tell if they are OK with some of the things I like to do in this plane. It is fairly fast and very maneuverable and I some times like to push the envelope a little and it can be scary for the uninitiated. For instance I like to fly across the empty part of the everglades at about ten feet above the saw grass at three hundred miles an hour. It gives you a real sensation of speed.

I had briefed Goldie on the chute and had fitted her with a new helmet and oxygen mask. She was checked out on the ejection seat and had a cockpit check. She was hot to go. She couldn't wait to get in the air and see how it felt in a combat type aircraft. I got a nice start on both engines and we taxied out. There was no apparent wind so I taxied to the west end of the strip. I called Miami Center as we taxied and got a clearance to Key West via direct and was cleared to contact Ocala Tower when we were airborne. I switched to Unicom and announced that I was departing, then switched to the tower frequency. I turned around at the end of the strip and poured the power to the little jet, 5700 pounds of thrust from the two GE J85s got us up to the 130 kts lift off speed a little more than half way down the strip. When the speed built up to 200 knots I turned south and throttled back on the engines. I called the tower and they gave me a clearance to twenty five thousand feet after they had us in radar contact. Now I was over an unpopulated area and went back to full power. I had my own little noise abatement program going, You don't want to piss off the neighbors even though their airboat motors woke me up many nights.

I looked over at my girl. I asked her how she was doing. She giggled, "I love it." I reached over and patted her hand. I told her to get ready and I did a quick roll. She whooped and said, "Do it again."

I rolled us inverted and stopped the roll. I let her hang upside down for a minute then rolled back level. We leveled out at 25000 feet and I pointed out Orlando and Tampa. Later when I could see Lake Okeechobee I asked for a decent to ten thousand feet. The center cleared me down and switched me to a different frequency. When I had contact I canceled my instrument flight plan and proceeded on visual flight rules. I continued my decent until we were skimming just above the saw grass. I had reduced power and we were only doing about 225 knots. We saw some air boats and I buzzed one. We saw an Indian village in a thick cypress hammock, or island. We crossed the Tamiami Trail were over the mangrove salt water swamps shortly after that. It wasn't too long before we were over the open water of the Gulf of Mexico. We had over 75 miles of open water to cross so I climbed back to 8500 feet. Twenty minutes later I called Key West tower and was identified on their radar. They gave us a vector around slower traffic and cleared us to land. I followed their directions to the FBO and our tie down spot. We parked and I shut the jets down.

I was helping Goldie down when a large SUV pulled up along side of us. It was Tag Gordon and three other guys. I helped get Goldie's helmet off. And looked at the men surrounding us. Tag grabbed my hand and shook it. "Well, look at you, you old fart, all dressed up as a fighter pilot. Do you remember these guys? Fred Larimore, Joe Delaney and Peter Good?"

I grinned and shook hand all around, I pulled Goldie over to my side, "Guys, I want you to meet my bride to be, Golden Dawn Porter. Goldie, these grinning apes are, Tag Gordon, close your mouth Tag. This really old guy is Fred Larimore, next to him is a rascal I haven't seen in about twenty years Joe Delaney, and last but least is 'PD' Good. PD was a child last time I saw him." The four guys crowded around Goldie and pushed me away. They each kissed her cheek and propositioned her on the spot. She giggled and said, "Teddy, they are cute, you said they were all gay, right?" They all turned and looked at me.

"Yep, that's what their wives say."

I got our gear from the cockpit and the baggage compartment and secured the plane. We all got in the SUV and rode to Tag's place. It was very much changed from the last time I was there. He had almost doubled the size of the little island he lived on. It had been beautifully done. The house was huge. A sea plane was tied down by a ramp. A huge house boat was at the dock beside a big motor yacht. Lots of small boats were in the water and on trailers. It was all beautifully landscaped. We pulled into the parking area and were escorted into the house.

I recognized Mackie Ann as she ran to greet us. She hugged Goldie and welcomed us to their home. They showed us to a large bed room so we could get out of our flight suits and into shorts.

We found everyone seated on a large patio off the living room. We were seated and handed a rum drink that was very refreshing. I liked it. I introduced myself and my Golden Dawn to the ladies. I told them she was a professional Fishing Guide in Montana. They looked at her and shook their heads. Mackie said, "Baloney, I have fished for years for trout in Montana and never saw a guide that looked like her, they were all hairy old smelly Indians, not beautiful ladies like this!"

I laughed and said, "You got most of it right, she is an Indian, but I kinda like the way she smells."

Mack put her hands over her face, "Oh! My God, I am so sorry, I can't believe I said that. You don't look it. Not that there is anything wrong with being an Indian."

Goldie was laughing, "Hey, I am not a full blooded smelly old Indian, My momma was half white."

Mackie walked to Goldie and hugged her and looked at her closely. She shook her head, "You are gorgeous, are you really a guide?"

"Yes, I look a lot different in my guide outfit, I wear baggy clothes, a fishing vest and waders and a huge old cowboy hat with a feather. I wear my hair in braids on either side. I am loaded down with fishing gear, creels, nets and I wear a shoulder holster with a 44 magnum in it. Had to use the gun to get Teddy to take me home."

A beautiful and exotic looking woman went to Goldie, "I am Jenny Delaney, I think you are very attractive, and I should know. I always loved women, Yes, I was gay, until I met my Joe. Now I still appreciate a beautiful woman when I see one."

Goldie hugged Jenny and said, "Thank you, I think you are sweet to say that. But I think you are very self-confident and tough to make a statement like that" Another woman hugged Goldie and said, "I am Jessie Larimore, I am happy to see another girl who is not an exquisite tiny doll. They are so damned hard to compete with in the beauty department."

Goldie looked at Jessie, "Damn, I hope there isn't a beauty contest going onhere. Everyone of the girls I see here has me beat in the boob size. I feel positively flat chested."

Jenny said, "Yes but yours are probably natural while the rest of us had a little help along the way."

Goldie's eyes got wide, "All of you?" All the girls grinned at her. She looked at me, "I want some too. Please, Please. I see you drooling over these girls, I want bigger boobs to please you. And I need to lose twenty pounds before we get married. Please."

I raised my hands in surrender, "Sweetheart, I love you as you are, without huge boobs, with a little meat on your bones, but I will go along with whatever it takes for you to be happy."

Tag grinned, "These days they do such a good job you can't even tell after a few days. I am considering a penile enhancement."

"What? No damned way. Just hold it Buster, do that and look for a new wife. No way I can handle a speck more anywhere on it." yelled Mackie Ann Gordon. "Just forget about it." Everyone laughed.

Tag got up and brought out a pitcher of the rum drinks and a bucket of ice and refreshed everyone's drinks. When he finished topping off Goldie's drink he looked at her and said, "Goldie, I do want to take you and Ted out in the morning for a try at a Grand Slam on the flats. Fly, spinning or bait casting?"

"What is a Grand Slam on the flats?"

Tag grinned, "Bonefish, Permit and Tarpon in one day."

Goldie smiled up sweetly at him. "Fly rod if you please, as long as Ted can coach me."

Tag laughed, "Good girl. You will do."

We all talked for hours, we got caught up on each others lives and vowed to stay in closer touch with each other. Fred and I didn't know we were now living only about ten miles apart. He and his son were into aircraft restoration too. They had restored a Grumman Duck that I was dieing to see. Fred couldn't believe I owned the old Goose he had seen in the air. He had been trying to find out who owned it. We exchanged phone numbers and E-mail addresses and made a lunch date at my place the following week. Jessie and Goldie were delighted to find out we were practically neighbors. They sat and talked with their heads together for quite a while. Fred and I decided they were discussing the care and feeding of old farts. They came and sat with us. They told us they were planning a trip to the Saw Grass Mall in Fort Lauderdale when Jenny Delaney asked if she could meet them there. PD's girlfriend, Amy, said she wanted to go too.

I can never remember being around as many beautiful women in my whole life. Every single one of them was mouthwatering

and heart stopping. Goldie was a match for any of them. We all changed for dinner. My Goldie stole the show with one of the outfits she had brought from Montana. I had never seen it before. She made me dress first and said she would be out soon. We were all talking when I saw Tag staring at something behind me. His mouth was hanging open. I turned and saw Goldie. Wow! She was stunning. Everyone clapped. She blushed and said, "I thought I would show you how a smelly old Indian squaw looks." She had on a Indian dress of doeskin that had been hand scrapped until it was almost transparent. Her black hair hung in braids on each side with yellow ribbons in the braid. The skirt was short, very short and fringed. She wore the only high heeled moccasins I had ever seen. You could see her erect nipples through the blouse. She wore a beaded head band with a lone white feather in back. She had a necklace of huge bear claws around her lovely neck. She turned slowly for everyone to look at the dress then she ran back to our room. She was back in less time than I could believe in a different little flippy skirted sun dress with high heeled sandals. Cute as all hell. She sat primly beside me. She looked up and smiled, "Was I terrible, did I embarrass you in front of your friends." A tear was in the corner of her eye. I kissed it away. "No Darling girl, I was proud of you."

The girls started clamoring to know where she got the Indian dress. She smiled and told them she killed the young does, skinned them, tanned them, and scraped the hides by hand. Then she cut it out and sewed it for the dress to wear to her wedding. She had never worn it because her husband wanted a white man's wedding.

"I would be very proud if you would wear it at our wedding." She looked at me, "Really?"

"Yes. If you don't mind me wearing a rain coat to be married in."

"A raincoat? Why?"

"To cover my erection."

Her hands flew to her face and she giggled behind them.

Tag said, "Hell, all the men in the wedding party will have to wear them." Someone said, "you are right about that, that is one hot little squaw outfit."

Jenny said, "I would have given my left tittie for a dress like that when I was dancing. It would have been dine-o-mite."

"You were a dancer?" asked Goldie.

"Yes, I was an exotic dancer. Hell, I was a stripper. Good one too."

"I have never seen one, I would love to see one."

Joe, her husband, said, "Why don't you see if you can come up with a costume and some music and dance for all of us later?"

Everyone cheered the idea. Jenny said she would see what they could come up with.

Mackie grinned, "Dear Jenny, I just bought a bump and grind recording. You can listen to it and see if it will do."

"Mackie, Dear, if I do that, you have to sing for us."

"You have a deal."

After a wonderful meal of superb cracked conch we sat and Mackie played her guitar and sang a medley of her hits. She was really wonderful. She was great on the Honky Tonk stuff. Wonderful on the love songs but when she played and sang the old gospel songs she was really awesome. She finished with Amazing Grace and had me in tears with the emotion in her voice. Goldie was crying too!. I had to walk over to Mackie and hug her and tell her how her singing effected us. "That is without a doubt the most stirring and poignant rendition of Amazing Grace I have ever heard. We both loved it."

We sat and talked for a while more. Then Mackie called for attention. A stereo blared a old stripping song and Jenny strode elegantly out in front of us in a classy business suit with a knee length skirt and dark stockings and black stiletto heeled boots. She did a little demure teasing with the skirt and jacket. Then she froze, dropped the skirt and threw off the jacket. She wore a garter belt and sheer lace panties. She gyrated around the patio and slowly unbuttoned the white blouse. Opening it to show the sheer little black lace quarter cup bra that displayed her proud breasts and erect nipples. Then closing it with a pout on her crimson lips. The first number ended. When the rhythm started again the blouse flew high in the air. The tiny bra was off in a flash. Her hands covered her nipples as she caressed her breasts, lifting them and squeezing them together then turning and leaning over and ever so slowly inching down her panties. She turned back around and began rubbing her hands over her body as she sensuously twisted and turned. She rubbed her stockinged legs, she dropped slowly until her rear almost hit the deck, her knees spread widely and a hand hid her sex while the other caressed the inside of her thighs. She twisted back and forth as she rose back up and started a bump and grind in time with the music. She turned her back to us and held her arms over her head then slowly turned back to face us she slowly dropped her arms to her sides and then raised and spread palms up as if offering her body to us. She bowed and ran into the house. We clapped and cheered, whistled and screamed until she ran back out and stood proudly before us, smiled and slowly walked to the house.

I stood and loudly said, "I have never seen it done half as well. Really a stellar performance." We all stood and clapped until she came back out. She wore a terry robe when she came back out. The robe was not closed in front. She walked to me and put her arms around my neck and kissed me, "Thank you, Ted, Thank you everyone."

She went and sat beside Goldie. "Did you like it dear."

"Oh! Did I. Wow! My panties are soaked and I have never even been with another girl."

"When you are ready, Sweetie, let me know." She rose and went to get dressed.

I sat and put my arms around Goldie. She looked at me and whispered that she was ashamed by what she had said to Jenny. I told her that the dance was carefully calculated to arouse both sexes. I had learned that Jenny and Joe owned a very successful Café in the Fort Lauderdale a that featured totally nude dancing.

Goldie looked up at me. "Really, that sounds like fun."

"Yeah, Joe lived in California and owned the club, she wrote him and offered a partnership deal and signed only her initials and last name. They were partners for twenty years and never met. He thought she was a man. His wife, who had been ill for years, died and he came back to Florida and met her. It was love at first sight for both of them."