The Geek Files: Stuck on You

If Penelope's theorem held any validity, Dana may well have submissive tendencies. I could accept that, but what I would not accept were the lies and betrayal. I would also not share my wife with another. I had in the past on at least one occasion and I had chosen to ignore her infidelity but at the time we were not married. There was a difference now, at least in my mind.

With all of my attention on Dana, my work was suffering. Correspondence and reports were starting to amass upon my desk, but it was difficult to concentrate. The pile would still be there in the morning, so I decided to go home.

Dana was extremely cheerful and had indeed cooked a special meal. Any meal she cooked was special, not the quality itself, but that she cooked at all was the remarkable fact. The food was scrumptious and I began to wonder if this was my wife or a domestic clone. Our antics in the bedroom were equally depraved as the previous evenings other than the duration. I couldn't help but feel that if I had been more aggressive with Dana that I could have lived the life of geek royale.

You might think that if a normal man suspected his own wife of infidelity, his love life would decrease. That was not the case with me however, mine was running full steam at near capacity. I had no clue how long the ride would last, but I was determined to sail this boat until it sunk. And if by some chance we continued on this course without any further waves of deception or duplicity, my life would be all the better for it.

At Amalgamated, I managed to keep my head barely above water. Penelope and I continued to hold council during our lunch break. I valued her input as well as a shoulder to cry on. I simply couldn't forget the empty feeling in my heart and Penelope commiserated with me. She had an equally difficult time understanding how love and faithlessness could reside inside the same body.

As the week progressed, I seemed at an impasse regarding Dana's extramarital affair. There was no clue that she was anything more than my loving wife. I was beginning to believe that I might have over reacted somewhat in not trusting my wife. I quite simply could not find any evidence of her infidelity. I was more baffled than ever by the end of the week.

Monday started anew with hope that somehow Dana had changed her ways and that just possibly we could get over the hump in our marriage. That is not to imply that I would not adhere to the adage...trust but verify.

At just after two o'clock, my phone rang. The woman at the other end of the line identified herself as Nurse Everly of Mercy Hospital. She dutifully informed me that Dana was currently in their emergency room for treatment and asked me for my insurance policy information.

I immediately asked with some concern whether Dana was injured. She informed me that under no circumstances was she at liberty to divulge patient information over the phone. Evidently I would need to appear in person to gain the details so I hastily, but safely, drove to the medical facility.

Upon verification of my identity, I was escorted down a long corridor to the cubical Dana was occupying. I could tell at first glance by the position she was in, what her trouble was.

Dana was on her knees with her ass in the air. I highly doubted she had suddenly developed an instantaneous hemorrhoid infestation, though I'm sure it may have felt that way to her. After the initial anger had dissipated, I walked to her side and took a seat so I was able to speak with her face to face.

Tears were streaming down her cheeks, "Tommy... oh god it hurts."

"I'm sure it does, haven't they given you something for the pain?" I asked calmly.

"They have but... but that's not what I mean. It hurts inside, right here," she pointed to her chest, "I'm sorry Tommy, I didn't ever think you would find out," her sobbing continued, "I knew the minute the burning in my ass started that somehow you knew and had done this to me. Tommy... please make the pain go away."

"You already know I can't do that Dana. There is no cure for what you're feeling. I have lived with that same ache for sometime now and it's a wound that only time can heal."

"Isn't there some way we can get over this? Please Tommy, I'm begging for forgiveness. I love you Tommy, don't let my weakness tear us apart," she sobbed.

"It already has Dana. I turned the other cheek before we were married and now that you've slapped me a second time, I have no choice anymore. I can't ignore it this time Dana, as you've learned, it hurts too damn much," I sighed.

"But Tommy, I can change. Please Baby, give me a chance to show you," she begged.

"You've already changed and I can't live with who you've become. No Dana, it's better if we both move on. I haven't been able to concentrate on my work. My life has been in turmoil and constant worry about when you will stumble and fall. It's happened now, please just let me go."

"Would you leave me if I was sick? Tommy, I am sick, the sex is an addiction. Don't leave me, I know you love me, Tommy please," she cried.

She reached for me but I pulled my arm away, "I do love you Dana, I love you enough to set us both free. Please don't make this any harder than it already is... I'll see a lawyer tomorrow. I've decided you can have the house. There are too many memories there." I said with no emotion.

As I walked away, Dana was still in tears. I just couldn't bring myself to hurt her anymore; she was already in enough pain. I knew any retribution on her would be wasted, she'd created her punishment inside of her own heart. The good years we'd had together were worth a lot to me in the end, so finding an answer to who and why at that juncture seemed moot.

Before leaving the hospital, I wanted to tell the doctor about the capsaicin in case there were any complications. I looked into a few of the treatment rooms and he was in the third one down. As he treated the man on the gurney, I suddenly found no further need to speak to the physician.

At home, I packed what I could fit into two suitcases. I'm not a man that is bound by possessions and when I was finished, I had room to spare. I left my keys on the kitchen table along with my redundant wedding band and was off to find temporary accommodations.

My night at Motel Seven was sleepless. I knew that I had done what needed done, but that didn't console me much. My heart was heavy, after all one does not fall out of love overnight.

Harvey Dinwitty's car was the only other in the parking lot when I arrived at work early the next morning. I had planned to clear up a few outstanding matters before I met with my attorney latter in the day, but my plans were modified somewhat by the fortuitous early arrival of Mr. Dimwit. I collected a few items that might come in useful from my lab and then set off toward the vice president's office.

Disregarding proper etiquette, I entered old Harv's office without bothering to knock. It would be a tossup to say who was most surprised at how I found him; he or I. He was seated in his chair with his pants around his ankles examining his rather long, extremely chaffed and red penis.

"Get the fuck out Peabody," he screamed.

Ignoring his command, I quickly deposited the box that I was carrying upon his credenza and withdrew a rubber mallet.

Before the prick that I'd seen the previous day being examined in the hospital emergency room could speak again, I promptly popped him in the forehead with my hammer. At that point, the blustering vice president slumped quietly unconscious in his leather executive chair.

Revenge on Dana was forgone for the things I'd gained from our years together. My boss would not receive that luxury. Harvey had treated me with contempt from the moment he'd joined Amalgamated and given the fact he also had a hand in the dissolution of my happy life, Mr. Dimbulb was going to pay the price for both of them.

Not wanting to conk Harvey again set me in motion. With his pants already down, it was a simple matter to remove his remaining clothes. After he was completely disrobed, I bent his knees and duct taped his ankles to the arms of his chair. I couldn't help but laugh when I thought of Melton, the company president, and what he would think when he found Harvey in the main reception foyer.

After securing his wrists to his ankles, I stepped back and had another good chuckle. This was good but I wondered what could make it better for me and worse for ol' Harv.

I accessed the Internet connection on his computer and began to download as many pictures of naked men as I could find. I hit the print button and his color laser printer started to spew 26 to 31 ppm.

While thinking of what I had left to work with, it hit me. XA238; the compound that Harvey had dubbed as useless, he had even signed away the patent rights to me.

While donning my heavy rubber gloves I saw Harvey start to waken. What I was going to do would be difficult if he struggled, so I acted with haste.

I applied a liberal dollop of adhesive to the tip of Harvey's nose. As I've already told you the length of his dick was impressive, I prayed it was enough. As it turned out, if I pushed down on the back of his head hard enough and stretched his pecker to its limit, it just made the connection.

Ten seconds later, bingo, he was glued. I wheeled him down to the reception desk and centered his chair facing the main doors. I checked my watch and finding it was just seven thirty, I decided to go down the street to Benny's for breakfast.

I like pancakes and I ate well. Although my life was a mess right then, what I'd been able to accomplish with Harvey seemed to set the momentum in a positive orbit. That one single act of rebellion and retribution made up for the many times that I had been singled out and bullied in my past. Poor Mr. Dimnuts had not only paid the piper for his actions, but also for so many other nasty pranks previously bestowed upon me.

Back at Amalgamated, I strode through the entrance to find the paramedics trying to deal with an agitated man with his cock pasted to his face, a real dickhead. It appeared the entire employee roster was on hand to assist, even old Melton.

"Tom, could I have a word with you?" he asked.

"Certainly Mr. Melton," I beamed.

I had expected this. I knew there was no way that I could get around what I'd done and I was prepared to accept the consequences.

"Tom," he said, "If I asked you if you knew anything about what happened to Mr. Dinwitty, would you lie to me?"

"No Sir," I replied.

"Hmm... okay let me see then... If I asked you if you could think of a reason that Harvey would bind himself to an office chair, what would you say?"

"To be perfectly honest Mr. Melton, I can't think of a thing," I replied.

He let out his breath and smiled, "Me either Tom. I'm glad we had this little chat," he patted my back.

"Curious," I thought. I'd fully expected to be fired on the spot. I knew eventually there would be repercussions but I was happy for the temporary pardon. It would be a busy day and answering questions was not on my itinerary.

I checked the clock and it was just after two. My appointment with my attorney was at three, so I began to close up shop for the day. Before I left, I knocked on Penelope's door.

"I was wondering Miss Hathaway, if you are free this evening?"

"Why yes, as a matter of fact Prince Charming just called and canceled our date for tonight," she said in jest... I hope.

"Good, I have something rather important to speak to you about. Would you mind if I dropped by around eight?"

The meeting that afternoon about my divorce was not without some regret. As I recounted the tale, I could not help but wish things had worked out differently. Dana by all accounts was not an ideal wife, but she was "my wife" and I would miss her. But as they say the die is cast. I instructed my attorney to give the house and all of its contents to Dana in the settlement. It also goes without saying that along with the house, the attached bills and mortgages would also be a final present from me.

A very different Penelope answered the door that evening. I was not accustomed to seeing her hair let down. Something else was askew, her eyes, yes that was it. No, you dolt, her eyes were not out of alignment, her glasses were missing. The effect was enchanting to say the least.

"Come in Thomas, would you care for a drink?" she offered.

"Yes, I think I deserve one after the day I've been through," was my reply.

As she poured our beverages, she asked, "Did you hear what happened to Harvey this morning?"

Feigning innocence, I answered, "Uh... no."

"Old man Melton fired his ass. He was terminated for having pornographic pictures on his computer," she chuckled.

"Hmm," I responded brilliantly.

We sipped our drinks as I thought about how to broach the subject of my visit. I decided the direct approach was not my style, so I asked.

"Would you care to eat sushi with me on Friday night?"

"Do you think that would be wise Thomas, you are a married man and there is also a policy regarding fraternization," she reminded me.

"Well Miss Hathaway, about that," I explained, "My divorce has commenced as of today. As for that stupid policy, if you accept my offer for dinner, neither of us will be employed at Amalgamated any longer."

"But Tom... er, Thomas, I don't understand," she blathered.

"Which Penelope, about the divorce or the dinner?" I jested.

"The dinner... both... no, mostly the dinner," she stuttered.

"Well, to make a long story short. I have an offer from a Japanese medical firm to buy a patent of mine. They have asked me to work with their people and suggested that I might like to bring an assistant along with me. The sushi restaurant is in Osaka."

"Tom? Are you asking..."

"I think so."

"When."

"Tomorrow."

"But I don't have anything to wear."

"I don't think you'll be allowed on the airplane naked, but I certainly wouldn't mind a bit," I smirked.

"Thomas, you're incorrigible," she winked.

Yes I was, am and will always be. But probably not until the divorce is final. So that's the end of Thomas "the geek" Peabody. A new chapter in my life has begun, I think from now on I'll be known as Tommy-san.

Sayonara...