The Gift.

I could not believe it happened to me. The vivid image of our love is forever etched into my psyche until the day I die.

I was 43 then and my husband, Major Tom Bradley was away in Iraq. I lived alone in the tiny community of Regensburg. Our son, Jon was stationed at Fort Bragg, having been drafted and waiting to be posted to God knows where. I hoped that he too would be going to Iraq, instead of Afghanistan. Although his dad was in Iraq, the chance of him serving in his father's unit was just wistful thinking.

Jon was our only child and I had always been his soul mate. He was a wonderful boy, always considerate and caring. When his dad left for the war front, he made it a point to call me every other day to ask about my well being.

That fateful Wednesday morning the phone rang and he was telling me that he had his call up. He would be leaving in two weeks time. My heart was pounding and I felt my tears welling. In the midst of utter despair, I almost did not hear him telling me that he was coming home for a few days.

I waited impatiently at the bus terminal and there he was, all 6 feet 3 inches, with his crew cut and handsome smile. I called out and ran to hug him. The top of my head hardly reached his chin.

"Let me look at you, God, how you have grown," I said, as we walked to the car.

I noticed that he had a day's unshaved stubble. That made him looked a real man, my son. On the drive home, Jon was rather quiet while I did all the talking. I supposed his thoughts were already in Iraq, so I quiet down and we drove in silence, each with our own thoughts. Each time I turned to look at him, I saw that he was watching at me. I smiled and touched his cheek. I was taken aback when Jon held onto my hand, caressed and kissed it. But it was a nice feeling. I guessed he missed me, just as much as I did him.

He asked me about news from his father and I told him that he had called recently, telling me not to worry. Jon said that he was only allowed 3 days home leave. It made me sad the time we had was so short, but at least I have him for awhile.

It was already late when we arrived home. Jon said he was tired and needed to rest. As he walked to the guest room, he turned to me and I could see the uncertainty in his eyes.

"What is it son?" I asked him.

He dropped his bag and came to me. He took me into his arms and I heard the catch in his voice.

"God, I miss you so much."

I held him close to me and stroked his hair. I raised my head to look into his eyes. He kissed my cheek and I don't know how it happened. His lips touched mine and his kiss lingered. For a fleeting moment, I felt the wanting as he tried to enter my mouth. There was his hardness as he pressed me to his body. Just as I was left confused and floundering, he released me and bid me goodnight. I watched him until he entered his room and closed the door. My legs were trembling as I sat down to collect myself. Did I imagined what just transpired or was I making something out of nothing?

I tried to sleep but could not. My mind was terribly confused. Jon was so different from the person I knew. Finally I dozed off only to awake when the sun was already shining through my bedroom window.

I realized that I had overslept and had not prepared breakfast. I pulled on my night gown and went into the kitchen. Jon had made his own cup of coffee, sitting at the table.

"Gosh, I was out like a light last night. So sorry, I see you remembered where the coffee is," I smiled at him.

"What would you like?" I continued. "Scrambled or poached?"

Jon did not reply but kept staring at me.

"Why, what's wrong," I said.

I looked down and with a gasp I saw that in my haste I had put on my flimsy night gown and had not put on my bra. The fabric was so sheer that I could see my full breasts and my nipples. And Jon was staring at them. Luckily I had my panties on.

My arms automatically circled my embarrassment and said that I was going in to put on something decent.

I turned to walk out but Jon was already behind me, his arms encircled me.

"Jon, what are you doing?" I turned my head as he held me.

"Please don't go," he said, holding me against his chest.

I was in shock. This was my son and he was holding me in the way sons don't hold their mothers. I tried to wriggle out of his arms as he cupped my breasts.

God, this could not be happening. His thumb and finger closed onto my nipples. The thin fabric did nothing to stop the incredible sensations that coursed through my very being when he tweaked them. My nipples took on a life of their own as they hardened.

I could hardly breathe as my head fell back towards his chest. He slipped my night gown off my shoulders as it cascade to the floor. I stood naked in my son's arms, except for my panties.

"This could be our last time together," he said in a strangled voice, as he caressed and kneaded my full breasts.

"I have always wanted you, as a woman," he continued, kissing my hair.

"No, Jon, this is so wrong. I'm your mother," I cried out in despair.

"God, I know but I want you so much," he sobbed as I felt his tongue making a trail down my back.

His hands were on my breasts, squeezing them tenderly. He pulled my panties down. He pushed me against the table and knelt behind me. His lips were on the hillocks of my buttocks, kissing them. My weakened knees could not support me as the upper part of my body dropped onto the table. Jon spread open my buttocks and I felt the wetness of his tongue rasped onto my openings. I could not fight him. I opened my legs for him as the erotic pleasure he elicited from me made me moan in submission.

He pulled me upright and turned me to face him. His lips were on my sensitive nipples. He sucked them alternately and the shooting ecstasy made me grabbed his head in my floundering hands. A finger entered my core. Jon finger fucked me while he sucked my nipples as though he was draining me for my milk.

He turned me around again. Spreading my buttocks, he began to lick and kiss my anus. Involuntarily I bent my body to let him better access. The illicit licking he endured on my anus almost made me come. His father had tried to touch me there but I never allowed him more than a splitting moment to prolong the act. But Jon's lips and mouth were so soft and tender that I did not feel debased by his actions. It just heightened the incestuous moment.

I could no longer stand and sank to the floor. He cradled me in his arms. He took my hand. I did not know when he took off his clothes. He placed my fingers onto his firm penis, making me hold him. He moved my hand to masturbate him.

I heard him moan as he cried out my name. All his life, he had only called me mom and for the first time, he called out "Jenny, darling Jenny", as he wet the palm of my hand with his sperm. He kept coming as spurts after spurts of his warm semen splashed onto my hand and belly.

We lay on the kitchen floor, muted in our satiated awareness that our ties as mother and son were forever lost. We had committed the ultimate sin.

I struggled to get up. Jon did not stop me. I walked ungainly to the sanctuary of own room. I latched the door and stepped into the bathroom. The reflection of my walled mirror showed a woman with streaks of cum on her body. The hair was disheveled and she had the look of a woman had just been sexually satisfied.

After a long time in the bath, I toweled and dressed. I did not leave my room. I just sat, curled up in my bed. How could I face my son again? He had to leave the next day. My body shivered each time I felt how he had devoured my flesh. And in more ways than not, I had allowed him. He had touched the very essence of my being. And I had enjoyed the forbidden pleasures he had given me.

Our world was too small and there was no place to hide. Late that evening, I came out of my room. I walked into the kitchen and was surprised to see two plates of pizza laid out on the table.

"I ordered them," Jon said, as he walked in. "I...I hope you like them, the one on the left is with extra cheese, as you like it," he added.

There was no hint of anything out of the ordinary from Jon.

I took his cue and uttered, "Uh...thanks."

We sat down and ate.

"I'm leaving tomorrow by the 9 am bus, could you send me to the station?" Jon looked at me.

I avoided his eyes and replied, "Of course."

We ate in silence and when I finished, I washed up and headed back to my room.

"Good night," I said as I passed by him.

"Don't lock your door," he said in a quiet voice.

I was taken aback and did not know what to say. Once in my room, I leaned against the door. My heart was beating wildly. I tried to gather my thoughts but everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. I wanted to but could not make myself latch the door. I switched off the lights and sat in the darkness. The time showed 8.34pm on the table clock.

I heard his soft footsteps. I looked at the clock and it was 9.16pm.

He opened the door and a shaft of light from the hallway illuminated the room in a soft glow. He left the door ajar. Jon stepped in. I was sitting in the centre of my bed, in my night dress. I gasped when he removed his robe and stood naked by the side of my bed. In the dim light I saw his firm manhood.

There was no turning back. Jon was going to rape me. He climbed on to the bed and kneeled in front of me. No words were spoken as he took my face in his hands. His lips were on mine, kissing my mouth tenderly. His tongue was between my lips and he entered my mouth. I sat limp as he kissed me deeply.

He unbuttoned my dress and took it off. He pushed me to lay supine as he pulled down my panties. His eyes roved over my nude form as his hands reached to hold my breasts.

God, he was gentle as he caressed my fullness lovingly. His lips kissed my nipples, sucking them. I felt them growing bigger and hardening as his mouth formed a vacuum drawing them in. The pleasure was exquisite and as his finger rubbed my clitoris, I opened my thighs. I was wet and his finger slipped in. I closed my eyes. His finger moved in and out. I gasped as my vagina clasped his finger, my orgasm exploded. He sucked my nipples, biting them loosely. My buttocks lifted off the mattress, seeking his deeply inserted finger. Jon pulled his finger out and he lifted up my legs, my knees against my breasts. His mouth was on my centre, sucking my opening. The soft down of my pubic hair was wet with his saliva. My love flowed out as he took it in his mouth. I could not restrain my cry of fulfillment when his tongue penetrated inside me. I jerked spasmodically, offering myself completely to him.

He sat up beside me. Lifting my head onto his thighs, I felt the knob of his penis, sticky with his pre cum, as he smeared it against my lips. I parted my lips and he entered my mouth. I sucked my son's hardness. It took only a moment when the thick semen of male secretion dripped out of him. Then the spurts commenced as he filled my mouth. I had never taken a man's ejaculate before, but in that perverse moment, I swallowed what that I could not hold in my mouth.

I heard his anguished cry of passion when he realized that I had accepted his seed deep inside me.

Jon was insatiable. He spooned me and bunched my legs up. His penis was between my thighs. I knew he was about to fuck me. But I still had the presence of mind to stop him.

"No, Jon, don't. You could impregnate me," I cautioned him.

Jon kissed me and got off the bed. He went into the bathroom and I heard him wash himself.

"I'm getting a drink of water, would you like anything?" he asked me.

"No," I answered.

"Don't get up," he said, looking at me. "I don't want you to wash; I want you just as you are."

He left the room. I lay exhausted; the taste of his sperm was in my mouth. I felt like a bitch in heat waiting for his return.

Jon was soon beside me, his rampant phallus firm, unabated by the delay.

He touched and stroked my crotch, "I'll pull out before I come," he assured me.

"Please be careful," I pleaded.

I was still wet and soppy. He entered me easily. Jon fucked me with long deep strokes. He had the vitality of a young stallion. I don't know how many times he made me come. When his hold on my breasts tightened, I knew he was near. He held until the very last moment before he pulled out and ejaculated on my belly, breasts and the final drops onto my lips.

We could hardly catch our breath. The intensity of our love making was truly momentous. It had been more than 2 hours of fucking and he still wanted me.

He held me in his arms. The reek of sex was in the room. The mattress was wet with our secretions. I wondered to myself how he could last and still wanted more. My body felt drained. My vagina was reddish and slightly swollen. He had fucked and ate me until I squirmed in total surrender.

We finally fell asleep thoroughly spent.

I thought I was dreaming. I felt like floating. My eyes opened. I tried to focus in the semi darkness and realized that I was in Jon's arms. He was carrying me to his room. When he placed me on his bed, I felt cold and shivered.

Jon said, "It's ok Jenny, I just used the hand towel to clean you."

I touched myself and felt the stickiness and stale cum was no more. I felt clean. Jon had wiped it all away.

"What time is it," I asked him.

"It's almost 5am, and I have to leave by 9, In four hours I may never see you again, my love," he said, looking at me.

There was that sadness in his eyes I saw on the day I fetched him from the bus depot. His words tugged at my heart strings. Why did he say such things? Was it a premonition? I hushed him by putting my palm on his mouth.

"Oh Jenny dearest," Jon said, kissing me passionately.

I replied, "I love you too."

Jon kissed my eyes, lips as he trailed down to my breasts, taking time to pay homage to my elongated nipples. He kissed my belly button and down to my nether regions. Jon rose and his legs straddled my body in a 69. He pulled up my legs as his mouth kissed on my vagina lips. The tender opening flowered for him as he sucked on me.

I held his phallus in my hand and my lips closed onto his knob, as I caressed his balls and sucked his soft scrotum, tasting his precum which seeped out.

He lifted up my buttocks and I felt the tip of his tongue on my anus. The butterfly kisses and licks soon made me squirmed in his arms. Just as he did the night before, he tried to insert the tip of his tongue inside me. It felt so nasty but the sensation was erotic. He lifted his head and I felt his finger probing my tiny star. He dropped a spit onto my opening and the slickness enabled his finger to penetrate. My hands gripped the bed sheet. My heart was pounding in dread of the pain I assumed would follow.

He did not apply any force but gently inserted and pulled his finger out until the tautness of my anal muscles dissipated. I grew soft for him to finger fuck me for quite some time. He pulled his finger out and kissed my ravished orifice. I lay quiet and he left the bed.

I saw him going out of the room. I knew what he wanted although he did not tell me. I had never been sodomized before. Could I stand the pain? A penis was so much bigger than a finger. While I was pondering about the consequences, Jon walked in and knelt beside my buttocks.

I felt something soft, like cream as he spread my buttocks and rubbed it on my anus.

"What are putting on me," I said hoarsely.

"Soft butter, I can't find anything else," he whispered.

"Please be gentle, I am virgin there," I said, almost shamefully.

"I will, tell me if you hurt," Jon replied.

I had gotten used to his finger earlier and when he pushed in, my opening accepted him easily. I felt a second finger squeezing in and it did not hurt as I imagined it should. He kissed my back and my buttocks as both his fingers fucked into me. It felt different.

He straddled his legs. The inevitable moment of truth was upon me. I gripped the pillow tightly. He rubbed the head of his penis along the cleft and stopped at my anal opening. The push was sharp and forceful. My head jerked up and gasped in the suddenness of his penetration.

"God," I cried at the introduction of my first anal fuck.

Jon was silent as he pressed into me. I felt the burning pain as he kept pushing in.

I was gasping for air and could not relax like when he had his fingers in there. I tried to lift up my buttocks but that enabled Jon to go deeper inside my rectum.

"Oh God, it hurts," I moaned.

"I love you Jenny, you are so tight," he groaned.

He stopped moving and lay on my back. I felt the fullness.

We were both panting. Gradually, the pain subsided. I relaxed and got used to my son's penis, completely lodged deep in my bowels.

"I wanted you for so long," he said softly. "Can I tell you the truth?" he continued.

"Emm," I said.

"Years ago, I came into your room. You were in the bath but the door was not closed. I saw you in the mirror. You were naked and from that day, I yearned for you. Do you know till now, I always masturbated with you in mind," his confession flowed out.

"What about this?" I said softly.

"I wanted this most of all. This will be my memory of you for always. I feel that......maybe I will never come back when I leave you."

"Oh Jon, don't ever say that," I said with a catch in my voice.

He began to move slowly, fucking into me with tenderness. There was no more of the burning sensation. I felt the fullness of his hard and firm penis. It was as though he was growing bigger in my rectum. I did not imagine anal sex could feel like this. He raised me up on my knees as he fucked deeper. His hands were kneading my breasts and when his fingers rubbed on my clitoris, I pressed my buttocks tight against him. We were both groaning with the pending fulfillment when he pulled up me further, my back resting against his chest.

His hold on me tightened as he fucked anal fucked with firmness, bumping against my soft buttocks. My hand flew above to hold the back his head. Jon stopped momentarily and I felt him jerked erratically. At that moment he pinched my clit and I my orgasm started to cascade in wonderful flows.

He called out my name as he ejaculated inside my bowels.

We knelt in that position for a while. Then he continued fucking me and I think he came a second time until he gave a sigh and we collapsed onto the mattress.

Jon did not take his penis out and we slept for the final time that night.

In the morning, we bathed and dressed, speaking only about his pending trip to Iraq. There was nothing more to talk about. The last three days were only in our own minds and thoughts.

Tears flowed down my cheeks as I caught a last glimpse of him as he waved from the window of the army bus.

I had only one letter from Jon telling me about the horrors of war. At the end, he wrote, "I will never forget what you gave me. I love you so much."

Jon was killed on March 23, 2007.

I placed the bunch of roses as I knelt by his gravesite. Wiping away a tear, I knew I would always forever be together with him, Knowing that he had something from me to keep him happy, I felt neither guilt nor remorse. His father and I walked to our car.