The Gift She Gives Ch. 13

Breathe. Just breathe, Mr. Hughes thought to himself as he closed his eyes and felt the air burn as it moved in and out of his chest. It had been so many days since his body hadn't been wracked with pain, self inflicted and otherwise, and he wasn't sure just how much more he could take. This woman, this dainty, sweet, enchanting woman loved him, and he was acting like a fool. When had he stopped fighting for her and started fighting against her? None of this made sense. He didn't want this, he didn't want to fight, he didn't want to keep things from her, and he didn't want to lose her because of what he had been put through for ages. It wasn't her fault he had made a choice so long ago to come to earth, she hadn't told him to suffer like this, but he was making her join him in it now, and he knew it was wrong.

Maybe if he counted, it would help cool him down. He definitely couldn't say anything yet, not angry like he was, like he had been since this whole thing started months ago. And not when she was looking at the floor at his feet with tears falling from her eyes as she realized just what she had said to him. But he couldn't see that anymore, he had closed his eyes as she'd sunk to the floor about ten feet from him.

One.

She wanted a house, a husband, children. He could give her a house, a huge house, this house, he would give it all to her if she just asked for it, but he knew that the spa was not what she wanted. The husband, well, that was easy, he loved her explicitly. He would walk down any aisle for her, maybe he should ask. No, he almost coughed out loud, no, he could not do that, it wouldn't make anything any better right now, and he had to fix this. Children, that was it right there. He couldn't really be the husband he wanted to be with her, and he couldn't give her children. But God forgive him, he could never allow her to have them with someone else. He experienced excruciating physical pain when she was performing sexual acts with others, he did not want to think of what he would be put through if she were to actually have sex.

"I'm sorry, Arc." Her voice was barely a whisper, but he didn't open his eyes to look down at her, he couldn't, not yet. He had to keep counting.

Two.

She hadn't said it, but he knew she needed friends. She was close with Shi, but Shi was wrapped up in the coming baby and didn't have time to spend with her every day. Deandra still texted her, but it wasn't the same. The closest she had to a friend nearby was Samir, and Mr. Hughes still didn't trust the giant to keep his hands to himself. Maybe he shouldn't think of Samir when he was counting, it just made him more angry. But she needed friends, and not just men who were attracted to her. He wondered if maybe he should ask Domino to return, but he knew she wouldn't, not unless he told her everything, and if she knew what he had put Vesper through, she would not be on his side, and he would hate himself even more. That only made him feel sick, that he would try to keep Domino in his corner, it was selfish.

Three.

She had let Fezekial lick her pussy. That was unforgivable, wasn't it? How could he forgive such a betrayal? But...hadn't he fucked a man in front of her and forced her to watch? That was equally terrible. What had made him do something so incredibly stupid? He had been out of control, completely unable to stop what he was doing despite all of the warnings going off in his head. He'd fought to stop, he'd had quite the internal dialogue going, but hadn't been able to pull away and set her free. What had caused that? Why was he so hell bent that night?

Four.

"I-I didn't mean what I said. I would never have a baby with someone else. I just want you. I only want you. I don't know why I keep doing things, letting people touch me, I feel so awful all of the time." Her voice floated into his ears again and he sighed.

Five.

Why were they doing this to themselves? Why couldn't they just stop ripping out each other's hearts? It really made no sense. Weren't they in charge of their own actions, for the most part? He knew his compulsion to fuck was a punishment that he couldn't ignore, but couldn't he just have a conversation with her about it that didn't involve yelling about it? Couldn't they be civil and discuss how to deal with it? It was like every time that they were together, things heated up without them even trying, and then suddenly their world exploded and they had no choice but to go along with it.

Six.

He opened his eyes. He was still in pain, but Mr. Hughes had felt the air shift a bit and wanted to make sure she hadn't left. She was still sitting on the floor, on her bottom with her legs now crossed in front of her. Her beautiful wings were stretched out and extended up a little behind her. She must have flapped them a little, moving the air in the hall. Her hair was down and slightly messy. Her eyes were huge pools of emotion.

He loved her. Sitting there, looking so innocent and approachable, he knew he loved her. Why the hell couldn't they just figure this out? Why did the woman sitting ten feet in front of him feel like more of an insurmountable feat than Alexandru being held captive across the world from his family? This should be so easy in comparison.

Seven.

He saw her furrow her brow and cock her head a little at him as she gazed into his eyes. Frowning a little, he bit his lower lip, it wasn't time to speak. Not even close.

"Your eyes go white when you're scared. Why are you afraid right now, Mr. Hughes?"

Vesper, he was afraid of her, of losing her, of touching her, of caring for her as much as he did. He was afraid of all of it. He was terrified that if he started talking again, that he would become angry, and that she would become angry, and that they would start screaming at each other like banshees and make an impossible situation even worse.

Eight.

He sensed a movement farther down the hall from her and let his eyes shift in that direction for a swift moment. Derrick had been looking down the hall, but when Mr. Hughes had looked in his direction, the employee had disappeared from view. He frowned, he was not usually spied on by his servants. How long had the man been standing there? What had he wanted?

"This silent treatment is killing me, Arc. It's too much. If you hate me now, if you hate me and this thing between us really is over, just tell me."

Nine.

The air was finally starting to feel a little cooler. He could breathe a little easier, and Mr. Hughes took advantage of that several more times as he looked down at her. When he felt his muscles begin to relax and his eyes felt moist all of a sudden, he knew that whatever angry hold that had been placed over him lately was starting to falter, and he was squatting down, his hands going to wipe his own cheeks before he could really consider why that might be happening.

Ten. Breathe, he reminded himself as he wiped his face dry, just breathe and talk to her.

"Her name is Antoinette Carson. She's an architect. I am hiring her to create a living space for you. She is not a sex partner. I brought her here for you." He said, his deep voice breaking throughout his words, and he watched as her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open.

"You're not going to have sex with that woman?" Vesper's voice was a little squeaky and it made his left lip tip up at the side a bit.

"No. I am not."

"She's making me an apartment? Like Faeron and Shi's?"

"If that is what you want. I am considering tearing down a portion of the dragons' chambers, though, as they do not need as large of a room above stairs. It might be a good idea to build a separate home for us there." He told her, happy to see a little bit of the color come back into her face.

"Us?"

"When you're ready for it to be us."

"I wish it could be farther from this place. I really don't like it here." Her frown made him frown, but they both knew there was nothing they could do about it.

"You can't have a baby with another man, Vesper. I don't think I could bear it, I'm in pain every time another man touches you. The kind of pain you describe when you try to leave here. I know that seems cruel, and I have been repeatedly cruel to you, but I cannot bear it." He said in a voice that was filled with his misery and he watched as she nodded ever so slowly.

"I still want you to be my first and only, Mr. Hughes, despite what I have allowed to happen to me."

Her words soothed him and he nodded and stood back up.

"We need to continue with this conversation, Vesper, but maybe we can do it in my office." He watched as she stood up, as well.

"I should apologize to Ms. Carson." Vesper muttered and he frowned a little.

"You weren't very pleasant with her?"

"Not exactly. But I don't think she's stormed out."

He nodded and started following her down the hallway.

When they got near his office, he saw the door to it open and the woman he'd met with earlier came out. She looked a little confused and irritated when she saw the two of them approach.

"Ms. Carson, before you say anything, I want to apologize. Really apologize for what I implied when I was in the office a moment ago." Vesper said softly, and he could hear how she was trying not to cry as she spoke, "We've been through some really difficult times lately and I took my anger out on you. Please don't leave, I would like the chance to make it up to you."

Ms. Carson pressed her lips tightly together for a moment and looked at each of them in turn before focusing on Vesper and slowly nodding, "I don't normally get accused of being an escort, and I don't really appreciate that you took my presence here that way. But I do know what type of business this is, so I am willing to let it go, but I won't work with either one of you if it should happen again."

"I appreciate that, and I understand completely. Mr. Hughes was trying to surprise me and I stumbled in on it and thought the worst. It won't happen again."

"Would you like to show Vesper the drawings that you brought with you today?" Mr. Hughes asked, he was standing beside Vesper, but at a distance from her.

Ms. Carson shook her head, "No, I think I'll let you show her so that you can explain your vision. I'll be back tomorrow morning to review everything with you. Will you both be available?"

Mr. Hughes nodded just as Vesper did, "Absolutely, let me walk you out, Ms. Carson."

He extended a hand towards the door and watched as Ms. Carson walked over to him so that he could walk her to the door. She had come highly recommended by Mr. Bricker and she had rearranged her schedule to do this design for him. He was happy that she hadn't just walked away from the job when Vesper had accused her of being a sex partner.

"Your girlfriend is quite...protective." She said softly as they approached the door.

"I'm glad of that, Ms. Carson, though I am sorry that you were put in a situation here because of it." He nodded to her as he opened the front door.

"It is really all right. I look forward to working with you, Mr. Hughes. This will be an...interesting project." Ms. Carson smiled at him as she stepped over the threshold of the door.

"I hope you find it rewarding, Ms. Carson. I would very much like to please her." He said as he watched her walk down the staircase towards the sedan that sat in front of the house.

She turned and looked back at him for a moment, with a look that seemed to be sizing him up, "Be sure that you do, she should be kept happy...and protected."

He nodded and waited as she got inside the vehicle before turning and making his way back to his office. Vesper had gone inside and she was sitting behind his desk. Taking a deep breath, he walked farther into the room and sat on one of the large leather chairs across from her.

"Can we just-can we just sit and speak rationally to each other without either of us losing our heads?" Vesper asked, both hands cupped in her lap, he loved the way she sat so daintily in her chair, posture was definitely a strong suit for her.

"Yes."

"I don't know why I get so upset with you all the time."

"I feel the same way, Vesper. I know that there are things about me, things about me that would scare you, things that would hurt you, but I don't want secrets between us."

"We can work this out, but we can't just ignore everything that has happened lately." She nodded and ran a hand through her hair.

"I am sorry that I didn't tell you about the sex room. It embarrasses me that I have to dominate humans in this way. My own behavior disgusts me and I didn't know how to tell you."

"'If I don't dominate humans sexually I go crazy and turn into an abuser' would be a good way to start, Mr. Hughes. I'm 87, not a child in any way. I can handle your secrets."

He frowned, it didn't feel like that easy of a conversation, but he would never know what could have been where this topic was concerned. "I am afraid that if I were to fuck you the way I fuck them then you wouldn't love me anymore."

Vesper looked at him with those big searching eyes of hers and he felt his chest tighten, she really didn't know the hold she had on him, and it wasn't just an emotional one. As much as he felt God pushing and pulling him, he felt her, too.

"You've already tied me up and had your way with me, Mr. Hughes. You can't tell me whether or not I can handle more, only I can do that."

"We can't." He said with a little more force than he meant and paused to breathe, maybe he should count again, "I could lose control and enter your pussy. I can't take your virginity in a dominant situation."

"So you really didn't have sexual desire in heaven?" The change in questioning made him furrow his brow.

"No, not at all. I had emotions, but they weren't like desire at all. Jealousy, rage, domination, for God, not about sex, happiness, sadness, fear, anger, we experience all of those. But pleasure," he shook his head, "sexual pleasure was not to be ours."

"But he was going to create my species to allow you to experience pleasure." She moved a hand to the top of the desk and he watched as her small, thin fingers ran across the warm, waxed wood surface.

"But he didn't."

"He must have, I am here."

Mr. Hughes shook his head, "I don't think he meant to, I think that the idea of you was put into play by God, but it wasn't him who implanted you in one of your ancestors."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your mother didn't have sex when she got pregnant with you. You were passed from person to person until the time was right for you to take root. And you did, in your mother. At least that is what I got from Fezekial." Just saying the man's name made Mr. Hughes' neck hot.

"What? But how? Who?"

"I don't think you really want to know by who."

"No secrets, Arc, remember?" She used his name again and that warmed other areas of his body.

"I'm not the only fallen angel. There's another one, a much, much darker one." Mr. Hughes said low in his throat, he hated telling her, but knew he wouldn't lie to her, not one more time.

"A much dark-wait. No." Vesper stood up and pushed away from the desk. She turned to stare at the wall behind her as she wrapped her arms around her chest.

He remained quiet as she worked through it for a moment and felt his gut clench when she turned back around, tears in her eyes.

"You told me I was of the light-you said that I was created by God for you. You never said that I could have been created by-by-him." She apparently couldn't name the former angel either.

"I don't know for sure, Vesper, but it doesn't matter. You are of the light. Everyone knows that. I don't know how you came to be, and it doesn't matter. You are here, and you are mine. We need to figure out a way to make this work."

"I don't want this." He heard her voice catch as she started to cry a little.

"You don't want me?"

"No, I don't want this." She waved her arms around her, and he had to tense to keep from showing the reaction he experienced when she did so, it was like being sliced side to side with a sword. A hot sword.

"I'm sorry, Vesper, but I'm not following."

"I don't want it to be so difficult, but you constantly make everything so difficult." She was getting angry again and he took a deep breath, needing at least one of them to keep calm.

"I will not hire any other sex partners. We will move back into your bedroom until your new home is built. Is that a start? Something, at least?"

"It's something. Is there a way that you can not be with them when you should be with me?"

"I don't have a lot of free time during the day." He frowned, he had responsibilities at the spa.

"Faeron can take on more of the administration side, can't he? And I am sure there is someone else that you employ that can take over prepping the clients sometimes. Isn't there?"

He felt himself grow a little warm, she had to compromise somewhere, but maybe this wasn't the place, "I will do what I can, Vesper. I can't promise to make it all work out, but can I at least say that once I come to you for the night, I will stay with you until the morning."

She paced as she thought about it, "Fine."

"I don't want you to allow anyone to touch you sexually. No kissing, nothing. It has started to cause me physical pain and I can't handle it." Mr. Hughes watched her face show her shock as she turned his way.

"It really hurts you?"

"Yes, in every way. I know you're unsure about yourself in that way, but I can't take any more experimentation from you."

"So you can fuck other people, but if I were to kiss one, I'm the one in the wrong?" Her voice was angry again and Mr. Hughes felt the room grow slowly charged, like it had been in the hall.

"Vesper, I am not doing it to hurt you. I am doing it to protect you." He growled out and stood up, to protect her, just like Ms. Carson had said.

"Protect me from what?" Vesper glared at him.

"From me." Mr. Hughes knew he'd shouted, knew that this was turning bad again suddenly, just as it had every other time that they'd tried to talk to each other. He tried to focus on his breathing to calm it down but felt oxygen starved.

"There's not all that much you can do to me that you haven't already done, now is there, considering that you can't even get near me." She scoffed and Mr. Hughes frowned, his chest puffing out for a moment as he watched her flap her wings a little in her irritation.

"I don't fuck other people because I want to. You know that. Why can't you understand that?" He stopped walking near the doorway, it was as hot as a furnace in the room, and his whole body felt wired for a fight.

"I just wish you could stop. I wish that whatever was making you do it would stop. It's not fair, it isn't fair for me to want to be with just you when you can't give me the same!" Vesper was crying more forcefully now and she looked ready to run from the room, if only she could get past him. He closed his eyes, couldn't they just have one bloody civilized conversation without getting mad?

"I can't. I don't know how."

"Have you ever asked Fezekial what you can do, isn't he basically your brother or something? Wouldn't he be willing to help you? You've been punished for so long, isn't it time you stop being put through this?" Now it felt like she was beginning to unravel, and he felt like he wasn't much far behind her, and then he thought of something that Fezekial had said to him while they were standing in the forest.

'Not all of your brothers are kindly disposed towards you.' It was true, but he had a great many brothers, and not all of them were favored by God anymore. One, in particular. And it wouldn't be below him to steal a creation from God and plant it in a human and then bide his time to see of an angel fell after the war between the angels. It wouldn't be below him to manipulate the situation and try to stir up trouble, either. Mr. Hughes frowned. Son of a bitch.