The Good Girl

"Yes sir!" I answered in my best military voice.

"Don't be a smart ass, Lori," she said with tongue planted firmly in cheek.

My mind ran wild imagining where I'd spend the night. I prayed it was with Kelly.

Kelly prepared an intimate supper with candlelight. Afterward, we curled up on her sofa, sipping some elegant cognac that a client gave her as a gift. I was dying to kiss her and explore her body.

But, as I learned over time, Kelly had an inquisitive nature and often asked me pointed questions from a myriad of topics. I thanked God that I had sufficient intelligence to match wits with her because she could argue certain points tirelessly.

Kelly was especially passionate about women's issues and the environment (the girl drove a Honda Hybrid) but occasionally she strayed into the area of personal history. Unfortunately, there wasn't much to tell as I didn't have anything in the way of a checkered past.

"What were you like as a teenager? Wild? Full of rebellion?" she asked curiously.

"Me? No way! I was the quintessential 'good girl'."

"In what way?"

"I've fought that image most of my adult life but I was a 'goody two shoes'. I was the eldest and could do no wrong in my parents eyes. Always well behaved, no tantrums, no fits of pouting or acting out. I was in control of myself and my emotions, the perfect date who never put out...my husband was my first...ah...man...you get my drift?"

I shifted my gaze away from Kelly.

"Hmm...I never would have guessed..." she stated, but I was on a roll and kept going...

"Control freak? That was me. Cleanliness and orderliness were my ideals. I strove to be the perfect wife and mother...and attributed my affliction to 'first child syndrome' but over time I realized it was a convenient excuse. My daughters were in high school when I decided it was no way to live and chucked the charts, the schedules, the timetables out the window.

Far too many material things inhabited our lives and I put a stop to that. Oh, there was grumbling from my daughters but they adapted and rather quickly. I tried to instill in them what I thought was most important in their lives; responsibility, independence and strength of character.

It was difficult but once I was free of the unrealistic demands that I placed on myself, I started to look at life differently. And...well you know what happened between Jerry and me...if he hadn't been so unyielding...but then he was so much like me..." the tears came, persistent and many.

Kelly took me in her arms and I wept on her shoulder.

"Hey...don't cry...I know how it hurts to remember..." she said soothingly, and gently rubbed my back until I calmed down.

"What about you?" I asked in a wobbly voice. I guess I was just as curious.

"Oh, I was the complete opposite...gave my folks a really hard time...slept around...met the wrong people and fell in with the wrong crowd...I finally got my act together because I wanted to go to college...but that's where I met Hal and it wasn't until I married the son of a bi..." she left the last part hanging in air.

"Don't say anymore...lets not spoil the evening," I pleaded.

Kelly gazed at me with a soulful look and I fell into her arms. She held me for a long time and the warmth of her body was enormously comforting.

"Kiss me..." I murmured in her ear.

We necked until I was breathless and panting.

"Do you still want me?" she asked.

"Please don't tease me...you know I do..." I breathed huskily.

The kiln hot, incandescent glow of sexual yearning burned inside me as I planted wet sucking kisses on Kelly's neck and tongued her ear. God, I wanted her so badly. I pulled away to gaze at her and she looked flush with desire.

"...take me to bed...make love to me..."I begged my companion.

Kelly picked me up in her arms and carried me up the stairs. As I lay on her bed, she slowly started peeling away my top and shorts but I protested weakly.

"I want to see you naked..." I whined. "Hey, you saw me in my birthday suit...turnabouts fair play," she pouted innocently.

I flung my arms around Kelly's neck and pulled her on top of me as she kissed me with unrestrained passion.

There have been few nights in my life that I would call glorious, extraordinary and amazing but that one will stay with me forever.

In the dim glow of her bedside lamp, Kelly removed my clothing until I lay totally nude before her. I prayed my full bush wouldn't be a turn-off but most women from our generation were not avid groomers.

"Ooh, hot bod!" she cooed.

"Thanks but now, I want to see ALL of you," I broadcast and pointed at her.

While Kelly lay beside me I unhurriedly took off her top, bra, shorts and thong panties. I thought Bree had a gorgeous body but Kelly was easily her equal. Tall, slender with highly defined muscles covered by translucent olive skin; she took my breath away.

In a flash, I was all over Kelly, squeezing her small and very firm breasts, the delightful eye poker nipples just begging to be sucked.

"Somebody's horny," she teased in a sing-song voice.

I could barely control myself as a fat, hard nub disappeared between my lips and I suckled and suckled... My lips grasped the turgid flesh and pulled gently, then hard as my tongue tip whipped the ends.

"Oh God...dear one...that feels fantastic...was it worth the wait?"

All I could do was groan and moan as my titanic hunger for her breasts was not easily satisfied and I nursed for a very long time.

Kelly was right all along, the anticipation had intensely heightened my craving for her. I kissed and licked every square inch of her magnificent body until she was panting heavily

But, my eye was on the prize and my mouth watered at the sight of Kelly's lightly groomed pussy. I rubbed my cheeks in the coarse fur that covered her mound as the tantalizing aroma of aroused female drifted into my nose.

The scent of a woman, exotic and intoxicating suffused the air. Kelly was breathing in short gasps as I leaned in and licked ever so gently up her crevice. Her dark lips parted and exposed the pink moist interior. The sight, the odors were like an aphrodisiac as I gripped Kelly's ass.

I raised the firm round globes, and my tongue with a will of its own, sluiced up and down her soggy slit. I devoured my lover, nibbling, sucking and slurping the pungent nectar that burbled from her hole.

We locked hands and I buried my face in the warm wetness of her steaming vagina, my tongue seeking her clit, finding the swelled knob and whipping it with numerous feathery flicks and butterflies.

"Oh God...damn Lori...oh...oh...ugh..." she growled and groaned.

My oiled fingers gingerly slid along the crack of her ass, one pushing against the sensitive rose cluster, varying the pressure until it popped in.

Kelly was pinching and rolling her nipples as her butt surged forward, backward, riding my slithering tongue as it basted her clitty.

"Oh shit...I'm gonna cum...oh...oh..." she roared.

Kelly's body erupted and her legs imprisoned the sides of my head, exerting pressure until I was light headed. My finger slipped out of her ass so I raised her butt and shoved my tongue where my finger had just been.

My sweet Kelly hooted and hollered,

"Oh Jesus...I'm cumming again...agh...agh..." gruff, raspy sounds escaped her throat.

I lost my grip on Kelly's bod and as her orgasm ebbed, her movements were less exaggerated and more controlled.

"Wow..." she trumpeted, pulling me on top of her and covering my wet face with numerous kisses.

"Was it good for you?" I asked coyly

"My God...you couldn't tell? It was like the Fourth of July with fireworks and all..."

I flung my arms around her neck, hugging her securely, my heart bursting with emotion.

"I'm...in love with you, Kelly," I whispered tenderly in her ear.

Kelly's arms tightened around me.

"You...love me, dear one?"

"Yes...very much," I breathed quietly.

Kelly gazed up at me and her eyes glistened with tears.

"I honestly never thought I'd hear someone say that to me again...you've made me so happy...I love you too..."

As Kelly held me close as an overwhelming feeling of serenity pervaded my being and passionate kisses heralded our feelings for each other.

My wonderful lover took to me a realm of pleasure that I scarcely knew existed. She skillfully suckled my breasts, her tongue flicking over the tips as throbbing threads of sensation invaded my sex. Her hunger mirrored my own and her hands roamed my body, gently squeezing, cupping my pussy, a finger lazily tracing up my crease.

When Kelly descended between my legs, I made a sudden move and knelt over her. I wanted to ride her mouth to ecstasy. With a firm grip on my butt, she ravenously ate me, her silky tongue strafing my clit, caressing the folds of my pulsating box.

"Oh god...that feels incredible!" I groaned loudly.

My ass and hips moved in cadence with her velvety lips, nibbling and sucking the ultra tender nub at the top of my slit. An orgasm of mind numbing proportions was growing inside me.

"Oh Kelly...I'm gonna cum...it's so freakin big..."

When I tumbled over the edge, I mashed my heaving snatch on her face. My entire being radiated with intense pleasure and the shockwaves kept coming as I shook violently.

"Oh...oh...oh...oh..." I shrieked.

While I rode the roller coaster of my orgasm, I had the odd sensation that I was drowning my precious lover with my juices. When I finally rejoined reality, I looked down at Kelly and saw that her face was coated with my girl gook.

I collapsed on the bed and her arms encircled me.

"Jesus Lori...you're one wild woman..." she panted in my ear.

When I turned to kiss her, I could smell myself on her lips.

"Do I taste ok?" I asked hesitantly.

My fear that Kelly might find me "gross" was a remnant from my "good girl" days.

"Damn, the best I've ever had..." she trumpeted, and her words made my face grow hot.

We got very little sleep that night. Kelly introduced me to her dildo and it was love at first sight.

When the alarm rang at five-thirty, I got my exhausted body out of bed because I didn't want to disappoint Kelly. She was already in the shower and wearily I waved at the glass enclosure.

"Come on in, the waters fine," she beckoned with a wet arm through the partially opened door.

After a noisy pee on the commode, I joined the brunette vixen and her soapy hands on my sleepy bod stoked the fires of my libido. In the next moment we were in a lip lock, making out as the hot refreshing water sprayed our bodies.

With Kelly's fingers between my legs, stroking my needy sex, I moaned like a bitch in heat.

"Oh Kelly...make love to me..." I sighed heavily, and sucked the tit nearest my lips.

We never did make it to Adamstown that morning, in fact we spent most of the morning in her bed, picking up where we left off the night before. By noon, I was sexually sated to the point of bliss. After a quick repast in the kitchen, totally naked, I fell fast asleep in my lovers arms and awoke the same way.

While I helped Kelly prepare dinner, my mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. As she expertly flipped turkey burgers in a frying pan, she gazed at me with a fond expression.

"Love you," she stated with heartfelt sincerity.

Carefully, I put my arms around her.

"Love you too..." I whispered longingly in her ear.

While we ate, I was feeling introspective and Kelly picked up on my emotion right away.

"Lori...somethin' bothering you?"

"What happens now?" I asked with trepidation.

"What do you want to happen?" she asked in return.

Kelly's intense gaze held me and my fear of speaking the truth vanished.

"I want to be with you...not just now but...I'm not sure how to put it into words...I just don't think I can walk out of here tonight and not feel incredibly lonely without you...I love you very much..." I had just expressed my deepest feelings.

"So...when are you moving in?" she asked in a lighthearted way.

I looked at Kelly too stunned to speak.

"Why waste time dear one? I mean, we're not getting any younger...and for the record, I love you a whole helluva lot too," she said with bravado.

I rushed to embrace her, my eyes brimming with tears.

As we discussed the logistics of living together, I kept thinking that my family, my daughters in particular had no clue as to who Kelly was. Had I purposely not breathed a word about my current situation? Fear of their reaction maybe but it was all so new to me.

Kelly's townhouse was the ideal location as all our favorite shops and restaurants were within a half hour radius. It suited her best considering she maintained an office in the converted garage and I was much closer to my place of employment. I decided to rent out my home.

On a crisp autumn afternoon, I "officially" took up residence with my lover. As we toasted to a life together with champagne, the task of telling my children loomed large in my mind.

I confessed to Kelly that neither one knew about us.

"You managed to keep it a secret all these months?" she asked with annoyance.

I hung my head in shame.

"I'm sorry..."

Kelly wasn't angry with me and took me in her arms. Her sons not only knew about us but wanted to meet me.

"Don't ya think it's as good a time as any to let them know about us?" she asked.

"Yeah...next weekend..."

With the holidays looming on the horizon, it was the ideal time. That night I tossed in bed as my mind kept turning over the events of the last six months. Had I changed? Was I different because I loved a woman?

I searched my feelings. I was without a doubt in love with Kelly and I wanted to share my life with her. It was an unmistakable truth that inhabited my heart and my soul.

The former me, the "good girl" would never have fallen for a woman. I'd have found a way to rationalize my feelings and continued my pursuit for a man. But, in the final analysis, I was the same person only free of the silly restrictions that I placed on my life and my value system.

The following Saturday I was on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. First, I went to see my daughter Jessica in Harrisburg, and feared the worst. Although she greeted me warmly, I sensed an old undercurrent of resentment, leftover from the time when Jerry and I split.

When I looked at Jessica, I saw a younger version of myself. She was the same height, pale skin, straight brown hair with a slight reddish tint and slender body.

However, the resemblance was more than skin deep and my first born was very much like the old me. Her flat was so clean you could have eaten off the floor. Growing up she was the perfect daughter who did no wrong. Honest, trustworthy, and highly dependable, Jerry allowed her use of our BMW when she learned to drive at sixteen.

A gifted student in school, Jessica won academic achievement awards and received a full scholarship to college. I was very proud of her and couldn't recall being disappointed with her for any reason.

In the comfort of her living room, I explained in detail what Kelly meant to me and our plans for a future together. Jessica's expression never changed once and could best be described as inscrutable.

"That's fine mother...as long as you're happy," she stated in a flat tone.

"Will you come and visit me? I want you to meet Kelly. She's so..."

"Do I have to?" she interrupted with a question. "It would mean a lot to me, Jess."

Jessica looked stricken by my request.

"Jess, tell me whats bothering you."

"Don't you think that what your doing is...unnatural...living with another woman in a marital type of relationship?" she stated vehemently.

Jessica's eyes were like two hot coals burning brightly. I had no nifty retort only the truth.

"Love between two people is...love. It can manifest itself between a man and a woman, two women or two men. In the end it doesn't matter with who or whom because it's love..." tears sprang to my eyes, my emotions were on high alert.

"I hope we can find a common ground Jess. I love you and I want you to be part of my life...but I'm very much in love with Kelly and..."

"How can you sit there and tell me you're in love with a...woman?" she protested.

"...but, it's true Jess. I wouldn't blindly tell you if I didn't feel it with all my heart and soul..." "You mean to tell me you couldn't find a man? Are you a lesbian mom?" she asked in a hurtful tone of voice.

Jessica's comment turned the waterworks off and I could feel my anger building. As I held my emotions in check, I responded,

"I guess I deserved that but to answer your question...I don't know if I'm a lesbian...all I know is that I love someone very deeply and that someone happens to be a woman."

"I can't believe you divorced daddy, and for what? Was he that bad mom?" she blasted at me.

As I suspected, we were now at the source of her anger. My daughter had never forgiven me for divorcing her father. While we maintained a loving mother/daughter relationship, I always perceived that she blamed me for what happened.

"Yes, Jess...it became intolerable but there are many reasons why it failed. I blame both your father and myself...we reached an insurmountable impasse and I shouldn't tell you this...but the love had gone out of our marriage..." I stated despondently.

Jessica appeared to be unmoved, unyielding. Maybe I could argue my case with her another day. I had a two hour drive ahead of me...

I put my coat on and moved towards the door feeling extremely forlorn. With her arms folded in a defiant stance, Jessica didn't move a muscle to see me out and it hurt me to my core.

"Can I have a hug goodbye?" I begged.

While I didn't expect Jessica to embrace the idea that I was cohabitating with a person of the same sex, I did expect her to be more understanding.

"You and Rebecca are the light of my life, Jess. I know you have a good heart...please, lets not leave it like this. I hope we can compromise and come to an understanding. I love you my dear child..." I spoke my piece.

Jessica's angry expression and her entire demeanor softened considerably. Had I gotten through to her? When I saw her eyes flood with tears, my jaw dropped to the floor. My first born fell into my arms and sobbed.

"Oh mommy, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, it's just all so...confusing...please forgive me..."

"Shh...don't cry sweetheart..." I lightly patted her back, trying to calm her.

"I love you, mom."

"I know you do..." my tears came fast and furious.

As I held my daughter, she cried her heart out and I bawled my head off too. Finally, she looked at me with sad, wet eyes.

"Do you forgive me?" she blubbered and held me so tightly it took my breath away.

"My precious girl, there's nothing to forgive, I taught you to speak your mind and that's what you did. I'd much rather have you tell me how you feel than keep it inside..."

I kissed Jessica's tear stained cheeks and felt her body relax in my embrace. When she went to retrieve some Kleenex, I marveled at the turn of events.

My journey to Rebecca's home at State College was far less fraught with anxiety. Although I always treated both my children equally, I had a special bond with my second daughter and we connected on different levels not just as mother and daughter.

Rebecca was warm, bubbly, full of life and mischief as a child. My reprimands for her infractions were toothless and lacked conviction. She had the uncanny knack of turning my frown into a smile. I just couldn't stay angry with her.

When she saw me, Rebecca hugged me with enthusiasm.

"Hey mama-san!" she cried, and her face lit up with a dazzling smile.

With her arm around me, Rebecca guided me to her kitchen and a nice cup of herbal tea. As I sipped the hot bererage, I relaxed and cleared my head.