The Good Spy Ch. 05: No Refuge

"For fun?" She glared at him. "Felix, you're doing this to me for fun?" Felix grinned and shrugged. Sara almost screamed with frustration. She snatched the next nearest book off the shelf and lobbed it at his head. He dodged this one, too.

"I've seen your books," he said in a mock exasperated voice, "I had plenty of time to look at them after I was through with the bathroom."

"I am going to throttle your scrawny neck, Felix," said Sara, who suddenly realized she was still sitting there in bed like an idiot, and sprang up.

"I don't know about scrawny, that seems a little harsh," said Felix, but Sara was about through with his supposed wit, and she moved to shove him towards the door.

"Out, Felix. Get out." Felix grabbed her arms and pulled her in, wrapping one arm around her stomach to hold her against him. Sara pushed against him but he held her firmly.

"Don't you want to know where I was when you came in? When you climbed under the covers? When you said my name?" Sara froze, remembering how she made herself cum before she fell asleep.

"Oh no."

"Oh yes. Under your bed." Sara's stomach turned into knots, and her body pulled into itself. Her face flushed.

"How does that make you feel, Sara? To know that I was under your bed, listening to you get yourself off?" He kissed her neck.

"Stop, stop," gasped Sara, who was writhing in is arms.

"But why do you want me to stop when you're so wet?" His hand was sliding down her stomach, under her panties, which had become soaked in her arousal.

"Felix - don't - oh my God—" But it was too late, his fingers ran the length of her slit, up and down, causing her hips to push out.

"Dirty." If Felix hadn't been holding her up, she was sure she would have fallen over, her legs had turned to jelly.

"Please," she said, "not like this - put it...put it in my mouth."

"Maybe if you come for me like a good girl, I'll take your mouth instead of your ass." Her cunt began to push up, begging for more, and Felix chuckled.

"I'm going to - ah you're going to make me -"

"Your cunt is mine, Sara. Do you understand?" Sara shook her head.

"Say it," said Felix.

"Fuck .. you," Sara retorted. Felix used two fingers, arching up, to fuck her cunt. His fingers moved in and out at a steady pace, hitting her g-spot every time. The words started pouring out of her.

"Yes I'm yours, my cunt is yours, please make me cum, please." Felix fucked her faster and her whole body arched against him as she came on his fingers, deep shame mixed with deep arousal. She shuddered and trembled in his arms, face flushed.

"Good girl," he said, "now on your knees." Sara wasn't sure she could stand on her own anyway. She sank to her knees. Felix began to undo his belt.

"Open your mouth," he said. Sara looked into his face. His hazels eyes started back, unflinching, unmoving. She was not restrained. She thought about running. She glanced at the door.

"Don't you dare," he growled, grabbing her hair with one of his hands and pulling her head back.

She opened her mouth for him and he shoved his hard cock deep into her throat. Saliva began to pool at the corners of her mouth and drip down her chin, she gagged.

"Your mouth feels amazing on my dick, Sara. I've been waiting a long time to take that mouth." She managed to glare at him, and he laughed. The feeling of his cock in her mouth, the tip hitting her throat, the long shaft pressing down on her tongue, and the sound of Felix's grunts were all beginning to arouse her again. She balled her fists, exasperated at herself, as Felix picked up the pace, fucking her face while he stared down at her. His cock stiffened in her mouth and then without warning, he pulled out, and began to cum on her face, long ropey strands of semen landing on her nose, her checks, the outside of her mouth. Sara coughed and spluttered, getting her breath back. Felix smiled at her. She moved to get up and he held up his hand.

"I almost forgot," he said, "stay on your knees." As he adjusted his pants again, he pulled a paperback journal from his back pocket and displayed it for her to see.

It was as if the entire universe converged into a single point as she looked at the small notebook in Felix's hand. It was her record. Her whole life was bound up in that object, it was of her and all of her was calling out to claim it. She found she was crying. She hadn't cried in a long time, not in years. But now the tears came unbidden.

On her knees in front of him, her face splattered in his cum, tears dripping down her cheeks, she whispered, "please."

Felix looked at her. He knew as well as she did that a spy had one record. Exactly one. Unless he destroyed it in front of her, she would never have another. Destroying a record was against the Code and since Leo was the primary enforcer of the code, it was not smart to destroy one in his domain. But Felix also knew that for Sara, this journal served as a way of processing certain desires by herself, giving her more autonomy than he was willing to allow her. In fact, it was his theft of her record in the first place that led to her capture. Without the journal, she became more and more consumed by her desires, until one night, she leaned against the wrong angel.

"Your record is mine now," he said, finally, "and everything in it. But - I'll tell you what - if you ask me nicely in the morning, I might lend it to you for the day. Then we'll have a nice bedtime story." Sara understood.

"You want me to beg for it. Every day."

"Absolutely. And I want you to read it to me. Every night."

"You are cruel."

"I can be. But I'm doing you a favor right now. I could simply refuse to le—"

"No. Please. Okay. Okay. It's a deal."

"Good girl."

"I don't understand why you're doing this. There's nothing to learn. It's just...me."

"Just you? I can have your body, Sara, and I will, of course. I can have your desire. You give those to me - not always right away, but in the end you give them."

"You want...my, like...me."

"Exactly. I will claim more than your heat, more than your body. I will have your mind, Sara, and your feelings. I will claim you." Sara shrank away at those words.

"Oh no," she said, "please Felix. Get out." She didn't mean from her room, she meant from her insides.

"No, Sara, I won't." She was shuddering uncontrollably, as he moved towards her. He removed her bra, and threw it to the side. Then he picked her up, and brought her back to the bed. He pushed her legs apart and pulled her panties off her. Now she was naked and trembling. He used his belt to bind her wrists behind her head, and the sheets to tie her ankles to the bed posts. Then he pulled his chair up to her bed and began to move his hands over her body. He did not target any specific area, simply running his fingers along her skin, while she trembled and shuddered beneath him.

"I'm going to ask you some questions, now. I will know if you lie. If you are good, we will sleep afterward."

"We?"

"Yes. We. If you are bad, I will play with your body until I am tired, and it takes a lot to exhaust me. Do you understand?" Sara nodded.

"Good. First question. Tell me about the house with the tulips." Sara stared at him. The house was her fantasy when she felt in over her head. She told herself she would move to a nice suburb in another state, buy a small house and put tulips in the window. She wrote about it briefly in her record, and she realized that Felix had read it closely.

"It's..a refuge. A place to escape to."

"Is it real?"

"No. It's just a dream. A fantasy."

"Tell me about it."

"There's a garden, a yellow kitchen, a blue bedroom with a queen bed and a lacey, white comforter. There's a library of cozy mysteries to read, chocolate chip cookies, wine...," she stopped, is this what he wanted to know? Why?

"Am I there?"

"No!" Sara stared at him in shock, "No one is there except me!"

"What would you do if I was there?" Then she understood.

"You...it's just an idea Felix, it—I'm not threatening -"

"What would you do if I was there?"

"Run. I would run." Felix grinned.

"Wouldn't get far though, would you?" His hands continued to play across her skin.

"Stop. You made your point."

"I'll stop when I want to stop. Where do you think I'd take you first? In the little yellow kitchen? With the window overlooking your herb garden?"

"You are sick."

"Maybe I'd tie you up and feed you some fresh baked cookies, your favorite," he was laughing.

"Leave the cookies alone!" Sara knew she sounded like a petulant child, but she couldn't bite back her annoyance, "it's my fantasy."

"Not anymore." His hands traced lines on her stomach, making her squirm. She glared at him.

"To tell you the truth," he said, "I've never been a fan of outdoor sex, too many uncontrollable factors. But I could press you up against the window, bend you over those tulips."

"Stop."

"You prefer it gentle in this fantasy, hmm? Maybe in your nice, comfy bed. In the blue room. Maybe it's quiet, slow. Maybe you wake up to the feeling of my mouth working its way down your body." His mouth pressed down, kissing her abdomen. Sara arched up, despite herself.

"You said—if I was a good—" she gasped.

"Mmm, I suppose I did," he said, stopping. Sara breathed a sigh of relief.

"Next question. Do you really want me to stop?" She stared at him. I will know if you lie.

"No," she whispered.

"No," he agreed, "because you want to please me. Isn't that right?" Sara nodded miserably. She would have asked what he had done to her, how he had undone her so thoroughly, but she already knew. They were both spies, they knew all the games in the book. This was the unadulterated MindFuck, pure and beautifully alive. It was astonishing to experience, and terrible, and wonderful. She didn't know how to think about it.

"Tell me where we are now, Sara. Tell me about the blue room." Then she felt his mouth on her again, kissing his way down her torso. She moved her head side to side, reminding Felix of a bird trapped by predator.

"There are curtains," she began, "on the windows. They're off white with blue trim. They are fluttering slightly in the breeze. The early morning sunlight is seeping into the room." She had memorized this, she could see it perfectly in her mind. "The walls are a slate blue. There furniture is made of mahogany. A beside table, a dresser with a vanity." Felix reached her cunt with his mouth, licking up and down her slit, her hips rising, pushing her cunt into his face. But he pulled away.

"You better not stop," he said.

"I am waking up in my bed, in the blue room." she said, guessing what he wanted.

"Good girl," said Felix, "tell me what's happening to you." Then his mouth returned to her cunt, and tongue swirled around her clit."

"Your tongue...your mouth is on my cunt, oh god," she moaned, "I don't know where you came from. How...how did you get in? This is my room." Sara felt Felix push one finger, and then two, into her cunt hole.

"Ahh," she gasped, her cunt pushing forward again, thinking fast, desperate to keep him going, "it's the window. You came through my window, it's wide open, and maybe ... you waited, ahhh, Felix, please," he had sucked her clit into his mouth, and was batting it back and forth with his tongue. He gave her ass a light smack, she could hear his voice in her head: keep going. "Maybe you ...went through the house, touched everything. Before...you put your mouth on ...on me, oh god, and fucked me with your fingers and sucked on my clit until...until...," Felix's fingers began to fuck her faster, his tongue swirling around her her little clit, and her orgasm finally overpowered her. She cried out as she shuddered. She cried out his name. "Felix."

When her body finally settled, and her breathing had slowed, he pulled his fingers from her cunt. He brought them to her lips, forcing them open. As she pushed his fingers into her mouth, making her taste her own cum, he looked into her eyes and said, "there is no refuge." Sara stared back into his eyes, tired and scared. Felix stroked her face, and then he untied her. He climbed into bed next to her and pulled her into his arms. Encircled in warmth, Sara found herself crying for the second time that night.

"Shh," said Felix, "it's okay. You did very well." Despite the fact that Sara knew she should not trust him, her body responded to his gentle cuddling, and his soft voice. Felix held her and murmured comforting words until at last she slept.

When she woke up, it was late morning. She lay there with her eyes closed, hoping that everything that had happened that night had somehow been a dream. When she opened her eyes, Felix was gone, and her heart leapt. But then she realized someone was in the bathroom and she turned her head away. That's when she saw them, in the window - bright, beautiful tulips.