tagLetters & TranscriptsThe Grand Tour

The Grand Tour


13 May 1727, Dover

It really is quite amazing Pater has decided to allow me to go on the Tour before he cements me in place as son and heir to his title, no doubt that bitch my Aunt was complaining to him about my antics about town. What does she expect of a red blooded man to do. So I am off to see the foreign doxies and other places of ill-repute or at least I would try if I can get away from that old fool I have been chained to, some Old Stick of a parson, no doubt intended to be a good influence on me. Some hope eh Bart Old Man.

My God Bartelby his words seem to sprout from the air itself. That would not be so bad if he could say something interesting but all he does is tell me about the most puerile rubbish and in Greek and Latin yet. More he makes preaches sermons at me about being virtuous and following God's path, damned if I want to do that when the Devil made women. Fortunately he is a fool and I have been able to enjoy some sin and corruption on my trip to the port of Dover. Still I will miss our trips to the entertainments of London. How I love the Bear-Baiting, playing cards and the Bawdy Houses pf London, still there will be more than enough to keep me busy on the continent if the reports I have heard are to be believed eh old man.

I left on a lovely morning. That little minx my dried-up Aunt's maid woke me by playing my flute in the morning. My God the woman has a mouth that should be studied and admired as a perfect instrument. She woke me up with a perfect boner in her mouth and those lips stretched over my cock giving it a kiss that was memorable. When she saw I had woken up she smiled at me so sweetly that I almost wanted her to come on my trip.

Naturally I gained my senses quickly and guided her lips back to my cock and she continued her marvellous work. If you ever have the joy of her lips my friend you would cum with more pleasure than you can imagine. She held me from my orgasm with skill and joy, enjoying the fact I was becoming more excited with each second.

Then just before I am to spill my seed into her mouth she spits me out and straddles me with her skirt hiked up to her hips. Well she eases her hot quim onto my cock and lets it slide smoothly into her. It feels like a furnace man and she strokes my cock by pushing and sliding her hot hole up and down my rod. Gives you a new meaning to sparing the rod and spoiling the child eh Bart. So she rides me and if I had ridden a filly as good as this I would pay her weight in gold to put her in the races.

Well we were playing up hill and down dale and her hips are moving beautifully, a proper rolling gait that should be seen on all the local huntswomen. I steer her by taking her soft, fat tits in my hand and squeeze on the teats, oh my she cries out so prettily. Doesn't take too long and I feel that delicious squirting of my cum into her hot quim. She grinds her hips against mine until I can't squeeze another drop into her. She slips off me and kisses me with her bawdy lips and I pinch her lovely fat arse to give her a proper thankee.

I can tell you my old stick that I felt again that I should take her with me. Damned foolish heh, but I soon got myself together and give her a bit of cash to remember me by and get up. As you know there is nothing like a good rogering to wake a fellow up and I climb into my clothes and put in the last of my clothes into my portmanteau and summon some ill-mannered oaf to take it down to the door and then to the inn where our transport would await.

My stony-faced bitch of my Aunt wished me good-speed at the door whilst under my breath I wished her good-riddance. Naturally the old harridan has the venerable Bede at the door and with the grunting servant carrying the case we get a carriage to the Inn where the Dover Post leaves.

At least the Pater has not stinted on the silver and we had a seat with the other worthies instead of out in the open on top. Since it is raining off and on that means we are happy and dry. A nice little bit of female flesh sat opposite with me with a rather corpulent gent who wipes his red face. Well the Old Stick looks at him and greets him.

Seems they were at the same college or some such nonsense, it turns out that this man is a priest in some church in Dover and the winsome bit opposite to me is his wife. Don't say that I don't try to help friendship since I offer my seat to the priest which he takes up with many thanks and he plops his fat behind on the cracked leather next to the Old Stick. Of course this leaves me right next to his wife and let me say that when she looked at me I saw that lovely gleam in her eyes that means that the strumpet isn't being taken care of by the learned doctor of theology.

The carriage gives a mighty crack as we begin our journey and the Old Stick and his friend are quickly conjugating verbs and telling ancient Latin witticisms to each other as I pass the time with the good Doctor's wife pointing out the sights of the passing city and then the country. Since everyone is busy or asleep I slip my hand under her dress and I stroke a lovely soft thigh. She is quite naked beneath her dress and petticoat and she parts her legs so I can get between them.

Bart old man there is nothing like the skin between a woman's legs and her quim, it is so soft and welcoming to fingers. Soon I am combing my fingers through her forest until I come to her cock-valley and dip a finger in. Well she gasps and the Old Stick looks at her and then me with suspicion and asks if she is well. As she stammers out some excuse I slip my hand out of her skirt and onto my lap looking innocent. He must have had some inkling of my actions because after some refreshment at Rochester he tells me that we are staying at Canterbury over night and he is sitting next to me again when we start off.

I almost laughed when the wife told her foolish husband that she was too tired and womanly to continue any further so they took up rooms in the same inn. Naturally in Canterbury we were soon wearing out our knees as we were dragged around to the cathedral and other places dedicated to God. So it was with relief that we had dinner at the inn.

Will I never learn that learned gentlemen are even more boring over our meal and with a couple bottles of claret, I thought I had gone to some hell where you are always with scholars who find joy in Latin grammar. Charlotte for that was the delightful crumpet's name soon left us to more manly pursuits, something she said with a look at me. I have little idea what she meant to the Old Stick and his friend but I knew what manly pursuit I wished to enjoy and it was not with the rapidly drinking sots in the dining room.

You should have heard the shouts and laughter as I left them as I made the excuse of illness. The way they were drinking I could easily see that they would be well into their cups for many an hour. As soon as I left I leapt up the stairs and making sure that no one was about I knocked softly at her door.

What a delight opened the door, her golden hair shone in the candlelight and her voluptuous breasts made her linen nightdress move fetchingly. Gathering the bint into my arms I pushed into the room and closed the door behind us. Well she made the general how dare you sir and other things women say before you get the leg over and the cock in and then she was on the bed. Once there she was helping me off with my jacket and down with my trousers.

When she saw what nature had blessed me with she could barely take her eyes off it. She told me that her husband's cock was so small and she was uncertain that she could take this monster. That will be no problem laughs I as I pulled down the cloth covering two milky white teats that I greeted like a hungry babe meaning of course that I was suckling, licking and kissing them for what my life was worth. Soon my dear Bart she was huffing, puffing and groaning as I readied her for the delights of my furrowing her vale.

So as I devoured her from above my hand was stroking her soft thigh flesh and then underneath the forest of light down along her quim lip. She cried out with pleasure as I pushed my finger into her hot hole and I would have sworn she had what the French call the little death. Well thinks I what a delightful Bawdy Basket you are and I will enjoy putting the horns on your husband. Oh she gushed like a waterfall and I knew that it was time to harvest my crop.

Then I plop my mouth off her pink teat and cover her mouth with my own and dive deep with my tongue as I part her thighs and pull her nightdress to her lips exposing her hot quim and with practised ease I arrange myself nicely into position and guide my cock to her entrance of her cock valley.

A short hard thrust and I slipped into her. My God old boy she would have screamed had I not been kissing her, as it was she almost cut off my tongue with her teeth. Well I was soon plowing her valley with a determination and delight that occurs when you have a goodly quim to enjoy. Well were grinding and thrusting and she crying as though she has never had this before which is likely true, her husband is more like to read sermons to her than fuck her. Then its my cock shooting cream into her furrow and she's squeezing her legs naturally, what a bawd this woman would make thinks I when I hear the door being fumbled with.

So what's a man to do but make a dash to the window, I did wish her a quick goodnight and kissed her lips before with a naked arse showing and my trousers down my ankles, my coat in my arms I swing out of the window and drop to the roof of the stables, damned if I didn't turn my ankle too. So I made my way to my room where the Old Stick is asleep and snoring.

Breakfast and I make much noise and speak about the deviltry in drink taking my revenge on all that boredom that the Old Stick has inflicted on me. Downstairs and we are greeted like the prodigal by the good Doctor and his wife who says that she is feeling much better thankee though the cuckolded husband doesn't look all that good I think. Well as we are drinking ale and enjoying our repast she is feeling my cock under the table and the looks she is giving me would have burnt down the place had they been any warmer. Well thinks I, I will need some further religious education from you.

Not that there is much chance of that as we are taken on a tour of the delights of the cathedral again and its surrounds. I was able to get a little revenge by remarking how Popish the Old Stick as he was going on about Thomas Cranmer. You would have laughed at the appalled look that passed over his face when he heard that, it was worth it though for the next two minutes he couldn't even speak through all his sputtering and shaking.

Unfortunately there was no hanky-panky as our guard dogs kept us firmly in tow and we were soon again on the Dover Post being bored by participles and conjugation. I can say that it was with delight that we entered Dover and pulled up at the inn we were to stay at before leaving for France in two days.

Just as they were going to leave the good Doctor and wife offered us a supper that night and we naturally accepted, I think that the good Charlotte even winked at me. So none of the delights of a port I thought but the delights of a good wife and I chuckled as I dressed. A pleasant repast was had by all and the old codgers were soon reminiscing over old fagging rituals and who got whipped hardest as I made my way to a handy closet.

Being a lady my bawd had left already and she pulled me into a large press where amidst sheets and blankets I turned her hot body around and pulled her skirts up to expose a delightfully rounded arse and beneath it her hot quim. Cupping her breasts and squeezing her nipples I pushed my cock into her ready hole. My word Bart it was tight and hot, she squeezed my rod and gasped as I rogered her hard and strong. The cries that came from her as I plowed her valley again and again were a wonder. Didn't take long until I was spreading seed into the valley of course and who knows perhaps the good Doctor will be having a child soon, serves the old fool right says I.

So properly refreshed I wished the good Charlotte goodbye and wished her good fortune in her hunt since once a woman has had a real man she wants more and I made my way back to the table where much tipsy with claret the Old Stick and I staggered back to Inn. So yesterday was last minute purchases and checking out the ship that will take us to Calais.

Enough for now old man. I will write again when I can.

Yours in Friendship


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