The Great Race Redo

A few months ago, I was sitting around my friend Gina's apartment. She had a couple of friends over. The four of us girls were all in the living room, while the three guys (a husband, a boyfriend and a just a friend) were in the kitchen. Somehow we got on our favorite movies, and I immediately went to The Great Race. Tony Curtis is such a babe. Jack Lemmon and Peter Falk are so cute. But obviously the whole thing is about Natalie Wood. You can't possibly be reading my stories and not know what I'm talking about here. I mean Natalie Wood in a corset and stockings totally covered in pies - it's just the greatest, sexiest pie fight ever.

I guess we had a bit too much wine and I tend to get loud with too much wine. I was sort of going on and on about how if someone asked me to do an appearance as Maggie DuBois, I'd do it for free, and probably throw in a blow job to boot. If you're reading my stories you would know that this wouldn't be the first time I threw in one of those. Look, I'm just thinking about the scene and I'm getting all juicy inside, in just the right place ... who am I kidding, you know what I mean.

That was a boring night, but it was about two months later that two of those guys from the kitchen showed up on my doorstep. It was Chuck (the boyfriend) and Richard (the just a friend). I remembered meeting them, but when they asked if they could come in, I was a little put off. I mean, it was a Friday morning and I was wandering around my house in my PJs - a guy's old T-shirt. I mean it covered my little heinie, but just barely. Oh well, I guess I was curious. Yeah curiosity - me and cats.

So Chuck and Dick (really that's what they all called Richard) are sitting in my living room and Chuck starts. "I guess you probably heard that Diane and I broke up."

Admittedly, I'm way too honest but that's who I am. "No, I barely know Diane and I don't follow her love life."

"Oh, well, we did. Well," just so you know, I hate guys who talk like this. I'm putting this all in here in hopes that you will dislike Chuck as well. I'm like that. "Do you remember talking about the movie The Great Race?"

I had to think for a second, but it came back to me quickly. "Sure. I love that movie."

"Us too. We know you do appearances, and you said you'd actually do that one for free."

"Said I'd throw in a blow job too, if I remember." They both looked at each other and then back to me.

"Deal!"

"What?" OK, I don't get stunned often. I was starting to think I was glad I had let them in.

Look, I could bore you with all the details, but why don't I just tell you the agreement as the three of us wrote it down that day:

First, we were all going to head to my favorite lingerie shop and they were going to buy me the closest outfit to that corset and stockings set she wore in the movie. No matter what happened, that was mine to keep, even if we never did the scene.

Second, while the actual pie fight took 4,000 pies, we agreed to do it with at least 300. These would be real pies - at least half fruit pies and half cream pies - like strawberry cream pies with whipped cream, custard with cream, etc. not just whipped cream.

Third, there would need to be at least six people "against me" in the pie fight so that I would get completely f-ed up. The guys would wear white T-shirts or tank tops along with tight pants. Any of them who made it through the fight without pie on his face would let me do the blind spin to pie him directly in the face, so they were all going to get messy.

Lastly, I agreed to give both Chuck and Dick blow jobs. I agreed to wear the outfit - while still covered in the pies if it worked out that way. But the others who were involved were promised nothing. Believe it or not, this was the first time I had ever agreed to do a sexual act. Oh, I get caught up in them far too often, but this was a contract to do one - really a first.

We went shopping that night. They quickly paid for the outfit that I picked out. It was perfect! We were barely talking since we signed the agreement, but after the outfit was in the bag and we were heading towards the parking lot, Chuck began to "ask me in earnest". OK, he was begging, just trying not to beg. He wanted a picture of me in the outfit with my hair done up like hers. I told him I'd think about it.

I gave in. After I worked that hard to get the hair right, I was too happy to show it off, and that corset. It took me over a week to get the hair right. It took them just shy of a month to get the hall, the pies, and all the guys together. We were all a little upset about not being able to find a way to make the cake work, but Maggie never went into the cake - that was Jack Lemmon.

The night was finally here and I was just overcome with excitement. I did my hair, put on the costume and put on an overcoat as I headed over to the hall. It was a training center for volunteer firemen, so when we were done, they were just going to hose the whole room/building down. It also meant that a couple of the guys were firemen. I'd tell you that I go gooey for firemen, but I go gooey for nearly everyone.

I arrived, and I have to admit, I got pissed. Diane's car was there. What the hell was she doing here? I was supposed to be Maggie - not anyone else. I stormed into the building to see five guys, Chuck, Dick, and three others, and Diane. She was wearing a white tank top and white yoga pants. OK, that slowed my rage.

I went up to her and asked, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Needless to say she was a little taken aback. Chuck hurried over and said, "One of our guys backed out at the last minute. We needed a sixth. She was up for it."

Diane smiled at me. Normally that pisses me off, but this one seemed genuine. "Look, the way that you were going on about this movie, I just had to see what this was all about. Really, I'm just one of the guys." Well, OK, I guess.

I started looking around the room. "So this is what 300 pies looks like," I said.

Dick answered. "No, its 315." Now Dick doesn't speak much and when he does he sort of mumbles, but I'm still positive that what he said next was, "Looking forward to seeing how they look on you."

I glanced down and noticed I still had my overcoat on, so they didn't know how good I looked in this. After all, I spent a lifetime doing slapstick dressed foolishly. This was different. This was sexy, the ultimate sexy! Well, for warped people like us.

I dropped the overcoat, and the guys dropped their jaws. Diane looked a little jealous too. That helped. "So, how do we start this thing?"

Chuck was obviously dreaming of being Blake Edwards. "I think we start by lining up a couple of straight on pie throws against you. You know, like when she came in through the door. I was actually thinking that we would set you up against that wall, and each of us would get one throw, but from sort of far away. Just to start it off." I wasn't sure if I was excited about getting plastered by pies or if I should be upset about them just lining up to firing squad me. Who am I kidding? I was really excited.

He walked me through this whole plan, and I knew there was no way it was going to work like that. He was planning hits and misses. No way it was going to work out according to plan. Not in reality; not with me involved.

And let's not pretend he forgot the end. He didn't think any of them would escape unscathed, so his ending was me on my knees, completely plastered in pies, sucking his cock. Because Natalie Wood had worn panties, I was too, but they were already soaked, just from the ride over here. I was way too into this.

OK, so I was dying to get started. I lined up by the wall Chuck indicated. The throw line was about eight feet back from where I stood. All six picked a pie and lined up to throw. Chuck and Dick were the first in line, but Diane was last. They said it was because she was last to sign up. OK, they saw me shiver. I'm sure they thought I was cold in that skimpy outfit, but it wasn't the cold, it was the heat generating from my woohoo.

Chuck was way too nervous. He threw the pie, but missed me entirely. Dick chucked it straight at me, but it caught my shoulder instead of my face. The three unnamed guys were no better. This whole thing was getting anticlimactic. I was just about to turn away in hopes of the massive amount of pies getting lucky later on, when I forgot that Diane still had a pie. I was taking a step forward; it must have just been enough to shorten the distance and the bitch hit me clean in the face. A perfect splatter hit. It exploded on my face and the tin hit the floor.

She giggled but then cut it short not knowing my mood. I put my hands on my hips like I was pouting, but inside I was relieved. Maybe this was going to be an especially messy day after all. I walked towards where I heard her, feeling around with my hands. Sure enough, she moved out of the way and I grabbed a pie from the shelves behind her. I turned to where she was and just threw. I wiped my eyes, and sure enough, I had hit Dick in the back. Diane and I exchanged looks, and this time we both giggled.

Oh it was on. Who knows what Chuck's choreography was supposed to be, Dick grabbed two pies and chased after me. I grabbed on as I swung around the shelving unit and plastered Chuck who was trying to direct. Screw him - this was a pie fight. The guys were now just going for pies and all ready to chase me down. Dick threw both of his but only caught me with some splatter. I ducked, I wove, I slid on some pie filling, but I didn't go down, not yet at least.

Two of the guys thought they had me cornered, but I threw three pies at one of them - just crazy throws, but he ducked so much I got by him. Yeah, I thought Dick was unarmed, but he had reloaded and just as I got past the first guy, Dick stuck out his hand and caught me right in the chest with a strawberry fruit pie. Pieces of strawberry burst from my cleavage, and I burst out laughing. Yeah Dick was definitely a guy who watched these movies because as I slowed from the tit shot, he clobbered me in the face with a chocolate cream pie. As I was moving to escape once more, one of the other guys broadsided me with something soft to the side of my face.

I wiped at least one eye and went racing for a table filled with pies. If it was a fight they wanted, I was going to give it to them. 315 pies is a lot, but it's not so many that you want to just chuck pies everywhere and keep missing. Both me and my prey were thinking along those lines. See - I am warped. I think of six against one as they are my prey. Whatever!

I saw Chuck actually slip in pie filling and go down to one knee. I threw two quick pies at him and I know I got him with most of one, just not sure where. As I diverted my attention, pies were coming in at me from a bunch of spots. None hit me in the face, but as they burst on other parts of me, they were messing me up everywhere.

I thought I could see, but clearly my vision was obstructed, because I came around a table and Diane was sort of just standing there. She sandwiched my head between two massive pies then ducked out of the way as I tried to retaliate. Someone howled a bit after I threw, but I have no idea how I hit one of the guys.

I stopped to reload and clear my eyes when I felt two strong arms grab me from behind. It was the fireman who got us the room. (Paul maybe?) "Hey, no fair! This isn't tackle pie fight!" I yelled at him, though honestly feeling those big strong arms around me was kind of nice.

Dick hollered over, "Don't put her down yet." I gave him a list of spirited expletives, when I felt someone cheat and nail me with a pie right in the face, but I was pretty sure it wasn't Dick. He came from a different angle and reached beneath me. He called out, "a trophy" as he reached down and tore my panties right off of me. There was something freeing about it, like now that I didn't have panties on I was free to be super slut girl. OK, I'm probably always super slut girl.

Paul the fireman plopped me down on a table specifically on a few pies, so now my little hoochie was covered too. Dick uncovered it and Paul covered in with pie. Chuck started yelling from across the room. Spoil sport!

"Hey, you can't grab her. You have to let her run around."

"Well that's inefficient," someone said, but I was off and running, my ass cheeks dripping pie as my garter belt wiped some pie from my legs. I grabbed three pies, but dropped one. Then I was on Chuck and hit him with one and then the other. I was behind him, so they were going on his head and raining crust on him. I think the guys saw this as an opportunity and they all were throwing at me, well really us. I was laughing at the whole silliness, while Chuck was complaining about them being on his team.

As I disengaged from Chuck, there was Diane again, and I ran head first into two pies she had ready for me. I tried to tackle her, but blinded I didn't stand a chance. By the time I cleared my eyes, pies were coming in on me and she was ten feet away.

We were more than halfway through the pies and I knew I needed to make the ultimate move. Just past halfway, Natalie Wood jumps up on a table and they all just pelt the shit out of her with pies. Sure enough, I grabbed two pies and jumped up on the table. With no tables or shelves to hide behind and after the practice they had had, they were getting pretty good at this. I'm not saying that I felt twelve pies hit me, but I'll bet it pretty much was. I was such a mess. I couldn't resist and just before I jumped down, I pied myself. I took at least three more pies just jumping off the table.

But stiletto heels and slippery floors do not make for leaping off tables and running. My legs went out from beneath me and I fell on my butt. Immediately, two of the guys pelted me with a mess of pies, though they were throwing so the pies more splashed me than hit me. Diane threw up her hands and made them all stop.

She came over to check to see if I was really hurt or just bruising my ego. I was good, so she helped me to my feet. We looked around the room and there were a few pies scattered here or there. We decided that everyone would pick up two pies and then we would re-engage, then we'd probably call it quits as we would have wound up throwing pie filling off the floor at each other.

So the heat was on. My two pies against twelve of theirs. I've said it before - As much as I like getting messy, I'm still way too competitive. I was thinking about strategies and even kicked off my heels to avoid more skidding out. They were eyeing me too. We were on opposite sides of the room. Quiet man Dick nodded to the other guys. It was a "you two go that way, you two go the other way". I was in for a full frontal assault with a full pincher movement. (Do I have to remind you I'm not a complete idiot?)

I sized up the competition. The guys were covered in pie. Nowhere near what I was, but they all had their white shirts and heads streaked with pies. Only Chuck had suffered direct hits to the head and face, but the other guys were messy too. Diane was probably the cleanest. Strangely she had a couple of pie hits on her back, one was right on her butt. I wondered if that one had been "accidently" delivered very close up.

As I was deciding who to target, the two on my right moved fast. I reacted by jack rabbiting to my left, but Diane and Chuck were there. I tried to change my momentum, but went straight up the middle and into the welcoming pies of Dick and Paul. They barely did more than hold their pies in front of them but I couldn't stop myself from running head long into them. Wham - wham - wham - Three pies to the face and I was blinded in layers of cream. Them bam, the fourth one right on my ass. Pretty sure that was Paul because it nearly lifted me off the floor.

I tried to clear my eyes, but it only made me drop that pie. Shit! One pie to me and eight still against me. Well, I figured I was doomed, but Dick and Paul were unarmed now. I cleared my eyes and as the four of them closed in, I jumped into Paul's arms. He's a dude; he immediately went to catch me. And I rewarded him by planting my last remaining pie right in his face. Then I planted my cleavage right into his face. I blame momentum - really, it wasn't purposeful, really.

As Paul was basically motorboating me, the other four closed and threw their pies at the two of us. I got a fresh coat, and he caught the splatter, though his face was protected by my tits.

I had had my fantasy. Diane went and got a mirror she had brought so I could see myself. I looked every bit the part of Maggie DuBois, covered head to toe in pie and now wearing only a corset and some torn stockings. Looking at myself I was laughing. If anything my hair was more covered than hers had been, and I doubt I could mimic that dainty running thing she was doing, at least not as well as she did it. But anyone looking at me would probably assume that this was a still from the movie.

The guys were closing in for their reward. My aggressive streak had been in full throttle just a minute ago, but between jumping Paul and looking at myself in the mirror, my slutty side came out in full force. As Chuck came up from behind me, I just kneeled down right there in the mess and unzipped his pants. He was rock hard - probably had been all day. I swallowed that cock as deep as I could and slurped away at it, getting pie filling all over his pants and crotch.

Pie kept falling off my forehead and hair and into my eyes, so I was partially blinded again, but I knew the others had formed a circle around me. I got off Chuck's cock and looked up into Dick's eyes. Well, except for the fact that his cock was standing there in the way. Yeah, now I knew why they called him Dick. That monster was probably a foot long and solid. Thick sure, but solid, like a powerful muscle. I glanced around and there were five cocks hanging in my face, 360 degrees of cock. I started by sucking Dick's dick, but then just kept going back and forth.

OK, the written agreement said just Chuck and Dick, but I knew all along, and I assume they did too, that I was going to suck all of them off. I was hot, I was tired from all the running around, but I was so turned on by the day that I needed to suck them all off.

I was noticing that when I wasn't actively sucking or fisting one of them, he'd pretty much self-administer. I giggled with a cock down my throat that these guys were all my fluffer girls, but I didn't have much time to think about that. They were getting more aggressive, and several of them were more face fucking me rather than letting me blow them. Yeah - in their position, I would have done that too.

I understand the total ridiculousness of the scene, but if you weren't there, you can't feel the passion that we were sharing. There I was, down on my knees in a ring of five well hung guys, sucking cock for all I was worth, completely covered in pies that they had thrown at me. But as I tried to get my mouth around another cock, they had sort of pulled back. Confused I tried to look around and then I felt it hit my nose. Despite all the mess I already had, they were cumming on my face. Barely recognizable as to who I was under all this pie, these five guys were determined to mess me up even more. And I loved them for it!

For almost a minute straight, jets of cum squirted across my face and some on my neck and tits. I assume some hit my hair, but it was too loaded for me to feel it there. This was my first bukkake, and no one really got to be the first to mess me up because Diane had done that with her first pie.

Diane!! Where was she during all of this?

The guys finished and helped me to my feet. She was off to the side with the biggest grin on her face. She had thoroughly enjoyed the show - that much was obvious. But her face was clean! I had my rules.