The Happiest Day of Her Life Ch. 08

That was most likely why she succumbed to Holly's kiss and the subsequent advances. Holly rushed it. Holly was not a lesbian, either. She didn't know how to take things slowly. Holly had only been with men before Marie and was used to moving quickly.

It all came back to those three life changing incidents: Trent's death. Marie's rape. Holly's advances.

What was Marie responsible for? She could not prevent Trent from dying. Trent's own actions led to the event and there was nothing Marie could have done. Marie survived her attack, but that was not a sin. She did what she needed to do.

Marie was crying as she faced the truth that it was good that she survived. It was hard to accept. There was still guilt. There was still pain. Marie had survived a violent attack. There was guilt there, too. She was guilty for not crawling into Trent's arms and dying next to him after Marlon stabbed her. She was guilty for taking the life of an unborn child. This guilt, as horrible as it was, was not as strong. She would not have been able to face giving birth to a child created from her rape. Even if she would never see the child again, and a wonderful family adopted the child, it would not erase where the child came from. There was too much pain there to face. Marie forswore herself by ending that innocent life. She was a nurse. She healed people. She felt genuine remorse for her decision to abort the fetus. She also felt comfort that there was not a living reminder of the unholy union.

Marie felt guilt about accepting Holly's advances. She had felt pleasure less than a week after her abortion. Holly's misguided attempt to comfort Marie had brought real pleasure. Marie loved Holly for what Holly gave her. She loved Jenn for bringing her pleasure. She understood that she was entitled to pleasure. She was entitled to feel attraction. Marie admitted she was attracted to Frank. She admitted she was attracted to Jayne.

Kevin stopped Marie. Their time was up. He thanked her for her hard work. Marie was still sad, but she felt better about herself. She understood some of the things she still needed to do. She assured Kevin that she would see him on Thursday.

Shopping was much better than her therapy session. Marie had dragged Jayne to several different uniform shops, but nothing really quite clicked when looking at maid uniforms. They did, however find excellent uniforms for the kitchen staff. The chef's jackets were crisp and white. They came with black and white checkered pants. They were elegant and offered protection from splashing food. The shoes purchased were flats that had slip-proof soles. James and the gardener, Jerry - the two males on the staff - were both happy with their uniforms and, therefore, did not get new ones.

Out of desperation, Marie took Jayne to Macy's. There, they found what Marie felt was the perfect uniform. She bought white button down blouses and black trousers for the maids. White aprons were bought, but they were optional and depended on the task at hand. The shoes purchased were black flats with slip-proof soles. The stable hands would be permitted to wear comfortable clothing of their own choosing and would not have to wear revealing dresses and heels.

Feeling elated that the uniform "crisis" was behind her, Marie took Jayne with her as she did some personal clothes shopping. Jayne was with her when Marie bought some lingerie. Marie was astonished when Jayne told her that she, and many women of the staff, wore F cup bras. Marie never before realized bra sizes went that high.

Once they were back in the limo and heading east, Marie made a few phone calls to plan the rest of her week. She called a Methodist church and Ossining Correctional Facility. Jayne was trying her best not to listen in on her boss' calls, but it was too damned interesting. Jayne had chosen to wear her new uniform back home. It was very comfortable.

Jayne liked her boss. When Jayne explained she would not be able to find bra's in her size at Macy's, Marie promised to take her shopping to a place that did carry that size. Jayne felt an attraction to Ms. Marie. She would never act on it, of course, but if Ms. Marie continued to be naked in Jayne's presence, Jayne would not look away regardless of what decorum dictated.

Marie spent a lot of time crying during that week. It was fortunate that all of the house staff was female. They let her cry. The entire staff knew Ms. Marie was a widow. They saw nothing wrong with letting her weep.

On Tuesday, James drove Marie to the Methodist church on Wellwood Avenue in Lindenhurst for the Rape Survivor's Support Group. Marie had never been a co-facilitator before. She got there early. The second woman to arrive was Alana, the other co-facilitator. She was glad Marie was early and they discussed how the support group worked.

There were eight women in the support group. This particular group had just formed. No one knew each other.

The group began with introductions and continued on with the ladies each telling their stories. Alana began with her story. It was a sad story and the women of the group appreciated that tissues were freely available. Marie told her story next and several of the group members gasped as she went into detail about her husband's murder and her subsequent gang rape. The eight women each told their stories. There was crying and there was hugging. There was a feeling of combined strength. Marie noticed that, throughout the meeting, women in the group would keep staring at her. After all the members left, Marie asked Alana about it.

"Well, sure everybody was staring at you, Sweetie," Alana said. "You took the prize!"

"What prize?"

"Marie, Sweetie, you're going to find that in every support group the members try to top each other when they tell their stories. Everyone tries to be the most inconsolable person there. You, my dear, made it impossible. There was no topping your story. Each woman there was trying to get the other women to feel sorry for her. I'm not trying to make them look bad or anything. That's just what people in support groups do. You didn't do that. You carried yourself so well. You talked about your Trent's murder and about those six men raping you. You didn't speak like someone seeking attention. You spoke like someone explaining their journey. We all got a lot of strength from you, Marie. Don't you dare miss the next session."

"I won't," Marie promised.

On Wednesday, Marie made a very important journey. The limousine took her to Hunter Street in Ossining, New York. Marie was at Ossining Correctional Facility in Upstate New York.

Just north of the Tappan Zee Bridge, Ossining Correctional Facility was more popularly known as "Sing Sing". Although there was a prison on Long Island, in Nassau County, that was really for prisoners who were awaiting their trial or sentencing. Once a prisoner was sentenced, they were transferred to a prison upstate, such as Sing Sing. Marie had made arrangements to visit the three men who raped her who were still alive. All three were serving their sentences here in Ossining.

Marie went to the visitations room. She had no idea in which order the men would be presented to her. She just knew she would see them one at a time. Marie signed in and presented her ID. She walked through the security checkpoint without setting off the metal detector.

When it was her turn, Marie went to an empty seat the guard directed her to. There was a phone of sorts on the right side of the cubicle she was seated at. There was a glass partition in front of her, on the other side of which was an empty chair.

A door on the other side of the glass opened and several convicts were marched out. The chair facing Marie was filled and she immediately recognized the man inhabiting that chair as Marlon. Marie was facing the man who killed her husband, who stole her virginity, and who nearly killed her. So much for starting slowly and working her way up.

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