The Hat

"What's with the hat? Tony asked John as they met to go to Sink's Watering Hole. The hat, really more of a headband, wrapped around John's head and covered most of his hair. It was made of a white material and decorated, if you could call it that, with computer chips and wires.

"It's just an edge for the ladies," John answered.

Tony chuckled. "I don't know, man. You could probably get Bill Gates horny with that thing, but I don't think the hotties will go for it."

John just shrugged. "We'll see."

When they got inside the bar, Tony's mouth started to water. So many hot chicks. He might have a chance with this much variety, or he'd get repeatedly shot down. He wasn't unattractive--hell, more than one woman had called him downright good looking--but he really didn't have much game when it came to pick-ups at the bar scene. Though he talked a good game with John and his other buddies, Tony would be much happier picking up a nice girl in a library, bookstore, or coffee house and having a nice conversation that led to dates and a relationship. Not that he was against one night stands, of course. He was here, wasn't he?

"Check this out," John said as he straddled up to the bar. He leaned over to the girl next to him, a hot blonde with big tits, and whispered something in her ear. Tony had to suppress a laugh. With that goofy hat, this chick was sure to shoot John down. To his amazement, though, she let him nuzzle her neck and feel her ass. No way! This was a set-up. Though John viewed himself as a big stud, he was usually too crude to get anywhere.

He whispered something else into the girl's ear and then walked away, motioning Tony to follow. "Told her I'd be back in a minute," John said. "Doubt it, though. Too many fine ladies here for me to go shooting off in the first one I see. Only so many bullets in the pistol, right?" He laughed and elbowed Tony in a joking way.

"Yeah, right," Tony said. "You're bullshitting me. You knew her and asked her to go along with it to fuck with me. You don't need to say anything, man. I know it's true."

John just smiled. "I guarantee you that I didn't and don't know her." He stopped and eyed a big-titted brunette wearing a skin-tight mini-skirt. She was talking to a couple of other women. "I want to get inside that. Bullet one is going to launch."

Tony shook his head. "That fucked up hat has rattled your brain. She won't give you the time of day."

"You're lucky I'm not a betting man, Tony, my friend. But I'm not above saying "I told you so," at the end." He walked over to the brunette.

Tony heard John say, "Let's ditch your friends for a minute. I know a dark hallway in the back that's almost always deserted." Tony suppressed a laugh, waiting for John to get slapped in the face or kneed in the balls. To his amazement, though, the girl smiled and followed John with giddiness in her step. No fucking way!

Tony followed a few feet behind and tried his best to hide in the shadows. This had to be a set-up. John and the girl were going to go back here and laugh about pulling one over on him. It'd be payback for Tony laughing at him for getting rejected so many times last month.

But no. John lifted up the brunette's shirt and nuzzled her braless breasts. Tony felt himself stiffening up a bit looking at her perky nipples, which his buddy was going to town on. While still licking, John jammed his hand up the girl's skirt, obviously hitting the mark. The girl's soft moans grew a bit louder and urgent. After a minute or two of this, John worked his own pants to his ankles and positioned himself between her legs. She pulled him in and they enjoyed a quick fuck. She came first, triggering John to blow his load deep inside her pussy. Tony had to fight hard to keep from rubbing himself through his jeans. He did, though, manage to adjust himself so his boner wasn't too evident. He then slipped out of the hallway and waited for John at the bar. His buddy showed up about a minute later.

"Enjoy the show?" John said with a grin.

"How the hell did you do that?" Tony said, doing nothing to hide the amazement in his voice.

"I don't know, but do you want to bag on my hat again, bitch?"

"The hat? This is because of the hat? Bullshit!"

John shrugged. "Think what you want, but I just boned a girl who last month wouldn't give me time of day enough to even shoot me down."

Tony remembered that now. She hadn't even acknowledged John's presence, even though she hadn't been talking to anyone at the time. That girl, the one John had just fucked like a cheap whore, had been the reason Tony had teased him mercilessly.

"Tell you what, T. This time you pick the girl. Any girl. Someone you know will shoot me down. Let me prove I'm not setting you up."

Tony glanced at the hat, shook his head, then turned his attention to the ladies. He saw plenty who would probably say no, but he'd have sworn the brunette would have done the same. Then his eyes hit a blonde at a corner table making out with a guy. No way would she take John. He was sure, even, that John would beg out of that choice.

"What about her?" Tony said, motioning over to the couple.

"The one with her tongue down the guy's throat and his hand on her tits? I like the way you think, Tony. That'll be a real challenge. And she might be hotter than the one I just fucked."

"You're going to try to get her? Shit, you're either crazy or the whole bar is in on it."

"No one's in on anything, T. Relax. I'm just tired of not getting any hot tail. And, I must say, she is hot tail. But how to get her away from Romeo?"

Tony glanced over and saw her practically dry humping him. John was right, though; she was hot. Her blonde hair ran halfway down her back. She didn't have big tits, but they seemed perfectly proportioned with her body. It was hard to see all her curves since she was smashed up against the guy, but it looked to him that she took pride in her appearance. Tony had no doubt it was finally time for John to crash and burn. Not because she was so hot--hell, the last two girls proved that theory wrong--but because the guy didn't appear to be a random pickup. No, they definitely had something going on. "Good luck on prying them apart," he said. "They look pretty attached."

"Don't worry about it." John leaned past Tony and tapped the girl next to them on the shoulder. Tony had been so intent, he hadn't noticed her. She had that girl-next-door vibe that screamed hot. As soon as she glanced at John, her eyes filled with lust. Tony couldn't believe it.

"Excuse me," John said. "You see those two over there in the corner?" She glanced quickly, as if she didn't want to lose eye contact with John, and nodded. "I have a favor to ask of you. If you can do it, I'll stick my dick up your ass." She cooed with delight; even after the other encounters of the night, Tony still couldn't believe what he was hearing. "All I need you to do is keep the guy occupied for about fifteen or twenty minutes. Can you do that? For me?"

She reached up, pulled his head down to her, and shoved her tongue into his mouth. When she finished, she flashed him a wicked smile and walked over to the couple. When she reached them, they stopped dry humping to listen to her. She said a few words and pointed to the back hallway where John had taken the brunette not long ago. Both the man and woman nodded. The girlfriend climbed off his lap, gave him a quick kiss, and watched them go.

"What the fuck is really going on?" Tony said. "There's no way this is really happening. I mean, no offense, but I know your track record."

John shook his head and laughed. "I already told you. Why do you think I'm wearing this hat? It's ridiculous. You think I'd wear it with my track record, as you put it? Chicks who I want to fuck can't see it. It distorts their mind patterns, inhibitions, and all that shit. I don't know how it works. A guy at work let me borrow it this weekend for a hundred bucks. Hell, after I bone the girlfriend over there and then my little helper friend, I'll let you wear it for the rest of the night. Just give me fifty bucks."

"I'm not giving you money to wear that stupid shit!"

John gave Tony a funny look. "How can you question the hat after watching me tonight? Maybe you'll change your tune after you watch me with that dude's girlfriend." He shrugged. "And if not, it's your loss. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have another bullet waiting in my pistol. Make sure you're not too obvious about watching."

Tony couldn't believe this. What if it was the hat? Couldn't be, could it? He did have fifty bucks in his wallet, but it would be stupid to give it to John to wear that dumb hat. Right? Shit, maybe he'd first see how John did with the hot girl who was already taken.

Tony couldn't hear the conversation, but the girl quickly followed John out of the bar. Tony walked out shortly after and saw them duck into an alley over to the side. He went over, peered around the corner, and found them in a hot make-out session. After a minute or so, she dropped to her knees, unbuckled and unzipped John's pants, and fished out his dick. She paused for a second to smile up at him, and then swallowed it to the hilt. John groaned as she worked him over. Like before, Tony had to fight hard not to rub himself in public, even though he was in the shadows and no one was around.

After a few minutes of getting his cock expertly licked, John lifted the girl to her feet and slid her shirt up. She wore no bra, and he attacked her well-proportioned tits with the same vigor she'd shown on his cock. While he did this, he reached under her skirt, slid her panties off, and slipped them in her pocket. He then lowered himself down, pulled her skirt up to her belly, and feasted on her pussy. Tony wished he could watch up close, as she looked the type who would be nicely trimmed and beautiful down there, but that was out of the question. She did play with her breasts, which he had a fine view of, though, so it wasn't a total loss.

The girl came quickly, probably from being so worked up with her boyfriend. John took that as a signal to slide up her body and impale himself inside of her. She came twice more in succession, and Tony glanced around to make sure no one heard. He needed to wear that hat, and he didn't want John to get carted off to jail for indecent exposure and lewd conduct before it was on his head.

After two or three minutes, John bucked wildly and groaned, setting off yet another orgasm by the now-sullied girlfriend. The two melted against each other before sharing a quick tongue kiss and then tidying themselves up. The girl left the alley first, giving Tony a shy smile as she walked past. John then came out of the alley with a satisfied smirk on his face.

"So, you giving me fifty bucks, or what?"

Tony pulled out his wallet, but John stopped him. "Not yet, sport. I believe I have another bullet in the pistol. It'll just be a few minutes before it's in the chamber, and I already promised a very helpful lady she could have it. I'll be back in a half-hour or so. Go buy yourself a beer or something while you wait."

With that, John walked back into Sink's Watering Hole. Tony waited a minute for his erection to calm down, and then followed. This may be the best fifty bucks he'd ever spent.