This is my first gay male story that I have ever written so I really appreciate comments, both good and bad and tips on how to improve so I can make this the most enjoyable for you all. Everyone in this story is 18 or over.
*****
Xander walked down the narrow halls of the Jefferson High school. His bookbag weighed heavily on his shoulder. I felt as if it would drag him to the floor any minute if the exhaustion from the day didn't first. And he knew it wouldn't end there. He flipped his black bangs out of his dirt streaked face, many days over the last few years he had been kicked around outside during gym.
He watched as Jared, followed by Tim, Derek and Ryder, turned the corner and walked in his direction, busy in conversation. Xander turned around, hoping he could get out of there before any of them noticed him.
Before he even set a foot in the other direction, Jared called after him. "Hey, faggot. Where you think you're going?"
Xander sighed and faced Jared and his posey. When he didn't reply, he learned long ago that whatever he did the outcome would be the same, some part of his body bleeding, Jared pushed him and his backpack fell to the floor with a loud crash. All of his books spilled over in all directions.
"I asked you a question, cocksucker."
Now just because Xander faced him didn't mean he had any intentions of fighting back, although he'd love to. Jared and his posy were the richest kids in their small town, they were also the soccer heroes and as you might be able to imagine being the most popular and having your parents own the town, it has it's advantage.
And way too many times Xander has been on the disadvantage side. Jared and The Heroes, as he likes to call them with disgust filled voice, always find a way around the system. It's easy when every teacher turns their back when they see Xander being kicked and punched. And then the principal would find out and call him into his office. Say he was the one fighting, he was the one hitting and last time he was warned that if he ever heard he was bullying again, Xander would be expelled and held back from graduation again.
So he stands there and takes their shit, fists clenched at his sides. They're not worth it anyways. Why stoop to their level, right? He might not be the most rich but money can only get you so far in life. What about when the real world comes around and Jared and The Heroes can't buy their way out of things?
"What's wrong, queer? Didn't get any dick up your loose ass today?" Tim pipped in. It was usual for them all to have their say. All but one.
"I think his pussy is bleeding." Derek added.
Xander, Jared, Tim and Derek all looked to Ryder to add his own comment of hatred but as usual, he stayed silent.
Xander never understood why Ryder didn't chime in. He could almost be called a good person in his eyes if he didn't hang around these douche bags. So the most Xander gave him credit for was he was nice to look at. Very very nice.
Ryder had light brown hair that was spiked up, not long but not short. And the softest blue eyes Xander has ever saw, they were almost crystal the the edges a dark blue. Maybe times he had fantasizing of lust in those eyes as they ran over Xander's naked body. How it would feel the have Ryder inside him.
His body was fit, nice biceps and his chest tight. His washboard abs made Xander long to touch him and his legs were strong and long, making Ryder a nice 6'1" compared to Xander's 5'7". He was hump worthy, to say the least.
What Jared said next to Tim and Derek had Xander turning his attention from Ryder and back at the situation at hand. "I think bitch boy here wants to suck me off, boys."
Tim and Derek both smiled and started advancing towards him. Xander threw his hands up in defense but all effort was futile. Derek kicked him hard in the stomach and woosh, all air left in his lungs in an instant and he was on the floor gasping over and over trying to breathe.
Jared crouched beside Xander, his crotch in front of his face and Xander panicked. He tried to get up but that only earned him another kick. His lungs were on fire and he gasped again, trying harder to get some sort of strength to refuse. To fight back. Tim pushed him down on his side and roughly into the floor. He wasn't getting out of this.
"Jared!" Xander heard Ryder scream but he was too paralyzed to comprehend what it actually was.
Jared popped open the button on his jeans and begun undoing his zipper, sliding his pants down as Xander continued to struggle. He didn't know what to do, they were going to force him to suck Jared's dick. And a ringing had begun in his ears as his head banged against the floor. Oh shit, oh shit. Jared his pulling his boxers down.
Xander saw the slightest hint of pubic hair in front of his face before the image of Jared was gone completely. Tim stopped pushing him down and Xander propped up on an elbow to see what the stupid stunned look on the athletes face was for. Ryder had Jared pushed against the wall, his forearm hold him across the throat.
"What the hell, man?" Jared yelled, trying to break free of Ryder's hold.
"Enough!" Ryder screamed, his voice hard and demanding.
"Get out of my way!"
"Stop before you do something you will regret!"
Ryder applied more pressure on Jared's throat and Jared seemed to consider him for a moment. He pushed him away. "Get off me. Tim, Derek, hold him up."
They picked Xander up and held him limply between them by the arm pits. Jared walked over and whispered "You tell no one, fag." And punched him in the face. Tim and Derek tossed him to floor like a old rag doll and they all walked away.
Xander struggled to sit up and when he did, he noticed a nearby teacher was peeking around the doorway and had seen the whole exchange. She looked at him, frowned, walked back into her classroom and closed the door behind her.
He stood up and could already feel and see his bleeding left cheek was swelling his eye closing. He walked limply to get his scattered books, taking deep breaths to used to the feel of air in his lungs again then he took off.
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Make it longer
There's alotta potential here; a good premise. Looking forward to more soon.
I agree very strong intro overall one note that kind of bothered me you kindof switched from third person to first then back to third so u need to watch out for that also your transitions were kund of choppy lastly i think the story could be much stronger in firsr personmore...
Welcome newbie!
You have the beginnings of an interesting story. You have set us up well with heroes and bad guys. It is a good set up that makes us care what happens next. Looking forward to more.
Hurry with the rest! :3
Good Start
Some mistakes here and there, a short chapter but a very nice start. I believe it will turn to be among the best stories on Lit.
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