The Home Movie

The neighbor's cat is always scratching at the small door that leads into the crawlspace beneath the house. Ever since I left it open and she got in one time, she's always wanted to go back. That was back when she was a kitten and my ex was still my husband. He chased her out, but not until after she had spent about three nights down there. We've kept the door locked, and I have no idea why, but she still tries to get in.

One night, it was the same story... I'm lying in my bed, trying to fall asleep, and all I can hear is that damn cat's claws scraping the paint off of my outer wall. It's gotten so accustomed to me shooing it away from behind the screen in my window that it no longer even glances in my direction. Finally, I stepped out of bed, put on my robe and walked quietly out of the house to chase the stupid thing away. I walked almost straight up to the animal and stopped before I got there because something caught my eye. I had been quiet while I was leaving the house because I thought my kids would have been asleep, but there was some light coming from my son's bedroom. It was clearly the TV and its light shone straight through a tiny hole in the side of his curtains. I wasn't thinking anything about invasion of privacy or anything, I just wanted to see what show he was watching so late at night. As soon as I peeked back in, I realized my mistake. It was porn.

My son was watching a threesome. Of course. I almost didn't care, it was kind of a mixed feeling, knowing that he was watching porn and also knowing that I should probably be shocked because he's my little boy, but seriously, he's about to leave for college and I was pretty sure he'd seen it plenty, considering he does have access to the internet. I turned to the cat, but then a thought struck me. Why was the porn on the TV? He has internet, which would put the porn in the computer screen. My heart skipped a beat when I thought of the only porn that I would think he might have playing on a TV. There were four old VHS tapes in my room, tucked away in a dark corner in a locked box... I peered through the crack in the curtains and as soon as I took that second look, I knew. My breath came in short gasps. I had to cover my mouth to keep from yelping. One of the VHS tapes in that dark corner had a home recording. My home recording. It was a video of me and two of my old coworkers, a black guy and a white guy. And now my own son was watching it.

I hurried back inside, my heart racing. The video was recorded just a few months after my husband, the father of my son and daughter, left us to go start a new family. Davey was just three and Erica was four. I had watched it only once since I recorded it, but I always kept good track of where I put it. It was locked in a little metal cash box along with three other tapes that I had recorded off of Skinemax when I was getting over that asshole. I rushed down the hall, locked myself in my bedroom and ran to the cabinet that held that cashbox. I opened it up and the tapes were all there. All four of them. I let out a long sigh of relief... but then I saw what I saw. My heart fluttered again. I was sure of what I saw. I thought I was. But then I was confused.

I tiptoed down the hall to his room, strained my eye staring at the crack at the bottom of his door, but there was no flickering light. The TV was off. He had probably heard me rush down the hallway into my room and he had turned off the TV at the thought I might somehow walk in. Was his door unlocked? I was suddenly tempted to try it, but thought better of it. I don't know what I would say, how I would explain just barging into his room and throwing accusations at him. Maybe they weren't even true.

I went back to my room and sat on my bed, just thinking for a while. All of the "What if" questions came to my head. What if he doesn't respect me as his mother anymore? What if he thinks I'm disgusting for having a threesome? What if he thinks that video is the reason for the divorce? What if he wants to live with his father, after seeing that video? He's going to college, he won't live with me or with his father. What will I say to him in the morning?

I couldn't sleep. I stayed up all night, nervous and anxious, trying to convince myself it wasn't true. The video was right there. He couldn't have copied it. Could he?

The next morning, I decided to skip breakfast and stayed in my room. About an hour after I normally get up, Erica tapped lightly at the door. "Hey mom." She whispered through the door. I didn't answer and she went away. They both had summer jobs and would leave the house for the day in less than an hour.

After I heard the front door close, I put my ear to my bedroom door to listen for movement. They were gone. I had the house to myself. Suddenly a thought hit me. I ran to the front of the house and watched through the peephole to see them both in the car as it pulled out of the driveway. I watched it drive away and I ran back to David's room. I started opening drawers and closet doors. I had to know. I checked under his bed, in his clothes, I even rummaged through his boxes of old school stuff. I suddenly felt foolish. I checked the VCR and there was a tape. I shoved my head against his window to try to see the driveway, which was empty, and then I turned on the TV. With trembling fingers, I hit play. My heart thudded in my chest. In full glory, there I was, with a big uncut white dick in my mouth and a thick black one in my pussy. I watched, mesmerized for a minute as a younger version of myself tried to deepthroat while bouncing up and down. I was beautiful back then. My tits were perfect C cups, perky and tight. My butt was round and my belly was thin enough that you could almost see the abs. I started to compare myself in David's mirror. My tits weren't quite as perky but they still held tight. My ass was the same as it was back then. And my stomach was just a tad less trimmed. I guess it was because I rode my bike to and from work, rather than drive. Why didn't I see myself as this beautiful usually? I looked pretty much the same as I did back then. My younger self switched positions and got down on her knees for the cumshot. I stroked the two dicks, taking turns with my mouth. One would be in my mouth while the other was in my hand, pressed up against my cheek. Back and forth just two more times and then both of them started, almost simultaneously. I remember I didn't know what to do about that. I hadn't expected it. I took both of them and stroked fast and long while trying to stuff them both in my mouth at the same time. The load was unbelievably huge and I couldn't possibly keep it in my mouth. It spewed out and dribbled down as I tried to swallow. My tongue slid out between the two heads and I looked up into the camera. I hit pause. I remembered where I was standing. I looked around his room and thought about what to do. I turned off the TV, but then realized my mistake and I turned it back on so that I could rewind to the spot where he had left off. I made sure all the drawers and doors were closed and I turned off the light and left his room.

I sat on the couch and thought. Again the What if questions filled my head and I couldn't even think of breakfast.

I woke up on the couch about six hours later when David gently nudged me. "Mom."

I sat upright instantly and looked at him. I expected something different, but it was the same. It was David. My David. My little Davey.

"You OK, mom?"

I must have stared at him too much. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't sleep well." The words just came out, easily. It was easy to talk to him. It was easy to slip back into being normal.

The normalness went on for several weeks. I don't know how, but it just went by and I still thought about it all the time, but I no longer felt anxious and I no longer feared that he would think poorly of me.

It all came flooding back one afternoon when I forgot my lunch at home. I usually just eat at the office, and I don't want to go out because it's too expensive. During lunch break I rode my bike home and I stepped in through the front door. I noticed as soon as I opened it, that something unusual was going on. The room was dark because all of the curtains were closed, which was rare. And then it was obvious. David was sitting at the couch, which faced away from the door, and he was turned back to me with a shocked look on his face. The TV was off, but it might not have been a moment ago. There was no other reason. I eyed him and my heart started racing. I turned what must have been a worried look into a suspicious looking one.

"David... What are you doiiing?" I drew out the last syllable with a smile.

He looked nervously at the TV and then blurted out, "Nothing. Sorry Mom."

I suddenly had a thought. I don't know why, but I wanted to catch him. I wanted to bring it out in the open. I walked around the side of the couch and sat down. I reached over him and grabbed the remote, looked him in the eyes and said, "David, I don't care if you watch porn." And I clicked on the TV. I pressed play and the picture came to life. It was some video I hadn't seen before and I was surpsised. I was a little bit disappointed that I couldn't catch him in the act, and at the same time, I was completely relieved.

He was staring at me, I don't think he had even once looked toward the TV. I glanced over at him to give him a reassuring smile and it was only then that I realized that pants were a bit loose in the seat and his shirt stretched down over them. It was the only thing covering his dick. My eyes met his again and I gave him a nervous smile, and I tried to make it as reassuring as possible. "Seriously. I don't mind if you do that in the livingroom."

I stood up, mostly because it was too uncomfortable to sit there any longer and I didn't know what else to do. The moans from the TV suddenly registered in my head and I looked back at the brunette teen being plowed by a muscle covered Adonis. Without turning to him, I said, "I'm home for lunch, I'm going to make a sandwich. Do you want one?"

He muttered a quiet "No."

I set the remote on the end table farthest from him and walked into the kitchen. I could still hear the grunts, gasps and moans. It sounded like he was starting to move faster. I finished making the sandwich and went to eat it at the dining table. I figured I would let him have his privacy.

After only a minute more, I hadn't even taken two bites, David turned off the TV and muttered something about just going to his room.

I stood up and walked to the couch before he could pull the tape from the VCR. It was another tape, I realized, not a DVD. I shook the thought. I wanted to make sure he was OK with this. I still wanted to catch him red handed, I just realized that I was going to have to wait and drag it out of him. "David, wait. Seriously. I am fine with it. I want to watch too. Put it back in and hit play."

He looked at me nervously and I gave a reassuring nod.

He pushed the tape in, I sat down and he hit play. He took the seat farthest from me, in a chair that was at an odd angle to the TV. He also lifted his knee up to hide his crotch from me. That was fine. All I wanted is for him to be comfortable watching his movies.

The girl was riding Adonis and he was slamming it into her pretty hard now. She was moaning and her voice was bouncing with each quick thrust. The girl somehow matched him, but with a slower rhythm of twisting and lifting her butt. It looked fantastic and I wished I were able to move like she did. I wished I were her, getting slammed hard with that dick. Or him, for that matter. She was amazing and I could see why David liked it.

David. I glanced at him. He was watching the video, but I could tell he was watching me from the corner of his eye. I just turned back to the screen like it was nothing and I watched for a little while longer. I stood and went to the kitchen to put away my dirty plate and came back out with a couple of sodas. I set one next to David and then went to my seat just as the brunette girl jumped off of him and got on her knees. The Adonis stood up quickly, both of them trying not to miss that money shot. The Adonis shoved it in her face and she stroked it just once and he was already shooting. The first load sprayed across her cheek and the second hit the target of her tongue. She let the next few squirt into her mouth as she slid her hand up and down his shaft, then she took any remaining straight into her mouth as she enveloped his dick with her lips. When she finished, she opened her mouth to show that it was empty. She had swallowed. The girl made a show of getting the rest, smiling all the while, and then the scene faded. The next scene, this time with a blonde girl, had just begun when the VCR stopped.

I looked over and David watched me nervously, the remote in his hand.

"You don't want to watch the next one?" I asked, as innocently as I could.

He glanced toward the kitchen. "No, I think I'll probably eat some lunch."

I couldn't push this. If I wanted to get him comfortable enough that I could catch him watching that video of me, I couldn't push too hard. "OK, tomorrow then. I'll go make that sandwich for you."

He tried to object, but his words faltered and I walked away into the kitchen too quickly.

The rest of the afternoon at work was a blur. I couldn't concentrate. I came home and David had gone out to pick up Erica from her job. They both came home and we acted like a normal family. I glanced at him and gave a questioning look toward to Erica. He shook his head nervously and I gave an understanding nod. Dinner was normal on the surface, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was going to catch him in the act. I was going to bring it out of him. And I couldn't wait to see the look on his face when I told him I knew all along and I could tell him that it wasn't right to invade my privacy like that.

The next day I took lunch a little bit early. I rode home quickly and found David in his room. I checked the livingroom VCR and found no tape. I made a couple of sandwiches, set them on the end tables, and then went to his room and poked my head inside.

"Hey David. You want to watch the next one?" My heart raced again, just like it had the first time. I still couldn't believe that I was doing this, that I was watching porn with my son, just so I could bust him for having a video of me.

He looked at me with wide eyes, like he hadn't really expected it. I shrugged, gave a little smile and went to the couch and waited. A minute later, he came out and saw the sandwiches, and I saw the tape in his hand. Without a word, he put the tape in and pressed play. It was at the same spot where we had left it. The blond girl was joined by another blonde and then by a redhead. They kissed and touched and fondled and it looked nice, but a little boring. I took a bite of sandwich and looked at David. He looked at me and asked, "Is this OK?"

I smiled. "It's a bit slow, but I'm fine with it if you're into it."

He let out a breath that had obviously been nervously held back and then he turned back to the screen. After a minute or so, the picture started fast forwarding and I saw the remote in David's hand. He clicked Play when the girls started to finger each other and I smiled internally. This is probably where I would have hit Play. Plus, I was glad that he was silently admitting that he was enjoying this.

We finished our sandwiches, David lifted his leg to hide his arousal, and the girls started going down on each other. They formed a triangle, each one moaning into the shaved pussy of another. Their hands searched, fondled and squeezed. These girls were really gorgeous.

When the end came, and so did the girls, the scene faded away and another one came on. David let it continue. The next scene couldn't have been more of a contrast. From the start, the guy was pawing at some cheerleader in the locker room. She was pushing him off playfully and he was stripping her. Within a few moments he had literally torn her shirt from her chest and he was reaching up under her skirt lifting her onto his shaft.

Again I glanced at David. He still had his left knee up so I figured he must still be turned on by this.

He looked at me and asked, "Do you want me to skip this one? It's kinda rough."

I actually laughed a little. "No. David, seriously, I'm fine with it, if you like it. I am perfectly happy to watch it too."

I didn't turn back to the screen, I just looked at him. Finally I caught his eye and looked straight into it. "Besides, what makes you think I don't like the rough stuff too?"

"Oh." Was his quiet response.

The scene was pretty rough and forceful. I was a little surprised that David was actually into it. But I shouldn't have been surprised. It was a little rougher than I liked, but I still didn't mind it. Maybe he felt about the same.

When it was over, it was time for me to go back to work. The next evening was the same as the night before, and then the next few days of work were boring. David worked during my lunch break, so I didn't even bother going home.

Then the day came when he was going to be home and I rode my bike to meet him. He was ready, with sandwiches already made. We would probably have time for three scenes together. Halfway through the second scene I asked him, "Do you continue watching after I go to work."

He looked at me nervously again, like I had just caught him all over again. "Yeah." He managed. "I.. well. I do."

I glanced at his raised knee and then back at the TV. Without turning to him I said, "You know, your knee does obstruct the view. You don't have to wait until I leave."

What did I just say? I couldn't really believe I had just said that. I was trying to make him feel comfortable, so that he wouldn't be afraid to pull out that secret video. I needed him to know it was OK.

Halfway through the third video, I eyed him without turning my head. I could see small movement in his shoulders and his knee. He had taken me up on the offer.

The scene ended and I think he hadn't finished, so we played a fourth scene. I knew I would be late, but it was worth it. Just as the fourth scene concluded, with a beautiful moneyshot right in the girl's mouth, I saw my son's knee shake quickly. He shuddered and I looked over momentarily. He was looking in my direction, but we didn't lock eyes. I realized the remote was between us, so I scooted to grab it and turned it off just as the credits rolled. This was the last scene of the video. He wasn't looking at me anymore; instead he just stared at the screen. His eyes darted around nervously, so I stood, picked up his plate and mine and walked into the kitchen. When I came back out, he was down the hall.

I shouted a goodbye and went to work.

The next day was another in which our schedules matched. I came home at the normal time and he had the sandwiches ready. He hit play and I sat down. Nearly immediately, I could see his leg was shaking and he was going to town. This new tape was scene after scene of interracial couples, always a black guy and a white girl.

David finished during the second scene, and this time he let some heavy short breaths escape as he climaxed. He still held his knee between us, but I could see that he had come prepared with an old towel that he kept in his room. He cleaned up, put himself away and then lowered his leg while we watched the third scene. Then he turned it off, got up and cleaned up our plates and I got up to get ready to leave. He came out of the kitchen and said. "Thank you, Mom." And gave me a big hug.

I didn't know what to think. Feelings of guilt ran through my head as I rode back to work and then all afternoon. I was tricking him, just so I could bust him, but it didn't feel right any more. He was really enjoying this. He was enjoying being open and comfortable about this subject with his mother. And I had to admit, I enjoyed it too. I mostly enjoyed the feeling that we were being secretive about it, since we both pretended nothing was happening any time Erica was around.