The Homeless

"Can I possibly use your washing machine?" I had forgotten about her clothes.

"Sure, its across the hall from the guest room. Detergents on the shelf. Just set it to normal and push the start." I wondered if this was the only set of clothes that she had. I figured she had some stashed somewhere. Shit, I should have asked her yesterday if she needed to pick something up. I set the dishes in the sink and followed her to the laundry room.

"I guess I should have asked yesterday but, do you need to pick up your things." Where do the homeless stash their stuff?

"No, this is all I got now." She didn't sound right. I think the question hurt. I sat on the stool in the back of the room.

"What happened?" She looked away from me and I sensed the tears coming back. Fuck, I didn't want to do that. I didn't press and almost got up to walk out.

"My supposed boyfriend, Rick, and I were hitching across country following this band. We were living hand to mouth. Just some odd jobs now and then." I heard the tears in her voice,"We got pretty drunk a few days back and I ended up in bed with him and some guy we met on the road. It just sort of happened and seemed okay at the time." She began wiping her eyes. "The next day I saw the guy giving Rick money and I heard him tell Rick that I was worth every penny." I could see tears down her cheeks. "The asshole told me he loved me then he sold me like whore." Her shoulders were shaking and she leaned onto the washing machine. "I left everything and ran."

There was no way I was going to allow her to go to a shelter now. Not after what that bastard did to her. I knew it was improper but, I couldn't let her bear this alone. I stood up behind her and hugged her close. I couldn't think of anything to say that didn't sound useless so, I just held her. She turned in my arms and drove her eyes into my shoulder and cried. I just stayed that way until the sobbing stopped.

"I'm not letting you go to some homeless shelter. You've had enough crap kicked in your face." Sometimes I just wished I owned a gun. "You can stay here till you back on your feet again." I pulled her away from my shoulder and grabbed the detergent off the shelf.

"I can't let you do that. You don't even know me. I just curse everything I touch." She sounded liked she believed it.

"Well you're my curse now and you're staying til you find something better." I added the detergent to her clothes and set the machine to normal. For some reason it was on delicates. I hit the start and the cycle began. "This house has been way too empty for too long. The spare bedroom is yours." I just gave myself a new mission. Save Natty from a shitty life.

She gave me a quick hug, "Then I'm doing the dishes." She marched off to the kitchen. As long as she keeps those breasts covered, she would be like the daughter I never had. At least as long as she needed a father. With assholes like Rick around, she needed a father.

I called in to work and told them that something important has come up and I needed a few days off. They didn't ask me to clarify, I was just told to take the time I needed. Twenty years on the job builds a lot of trust. I walked into the kitchen and Natty was hand washing the dishes. "We have a dishwasher for that." I said it with a bit of humor.

"Oh, never used one of those." She was looking down the counter and couldn't pick it out. I walked around her and opened it up.

"Just give them a quick rinse and add em to the rack." I pulled out one of the racks. "You didn't grow up with one?"

"Naw, we lucky if we could pay the electric bill." She smiled and held up her hands, "I was the automatic dishwasher." I guess her childhood was a bit tougher than mine. I let her continue and sat down on one of the stools.

"Natty, did you graduate?" I kind of knew she didn't go to college but, I was hoping she finished high school.

"Naw, I dropped out senior year. School and I didn't really get along back then." She sounded a bit sad about it. "I know it was stupid but, it seemed to make sense at that time." She continued rinsing and filling.

"Okay, well then the first step is a GED." It was a logical step in my mind. I have always built processes to solve my problems and I figured this would be no different.

"I was never any good at school. I've been out for four years, now it could only be worse." She stopped her loading and looked back at me. She had no confidence in herself. That could be a problem.

"Well then you'll love the GED. It allows you to skip your whole senior year." I tried to sound upbeat. I can't imagine how difficult the job market is without at least a high school diploma.

"Look, I don't think this is going to work. You've done enough for me already. I'll just grab my clothes when they're ready and leave you be." She sounded resolute but there was a bit a fear mixed in. She started walking toward the laundry room never closing the dishwasher. I had a feeling she wanted to run. I was kind of dumbfounded at her reaction. Maybe I was pushing too fast. Then a thought struck me.

"Natty, can you read?" The dishwasher was labeled 'Whirlpool Dishwasher' and I initially thought she just missed it. Her steps slowed. Then she just plopped down on the floor, leaned against the wall and started crying again. Damn, I really suck at this father stuff. Now some of her past decisions began to make sense. How the hell did a school system let her get to senior year without being able to read?

"I'm fucking stupid, Okay. You can't fix me." She was lower than I thought. She had zero self confidence with shame piled on top. No wonder why Rick was able to drag her around. She was dependent upon a slime ball to handle the day to day. Well that ends today.

"Well, than we'll start with reading but, not today." I thought I would lesson the pressure a bit. "You're going to need some clothes whether or not you decide to stay. There's a Kohl's around the corner. Will see if you like anything there." I figured some new clothes might lighten her mood a bit.

"I want to say no but, I really need some clothes." She was still teary and not looking back at me.

"Well that just proves you're not as stupid as you thought." I added some levity to my tone. "The failure of some shitty school system is not going to lower my opinion of you." The tears stopped.

"I don't deserve this." She turned to look at me. She was still distraught.

"That woman there will haunt me for eternity if I let you back out on the street without a decent set of clothes." I was pointing at the picture of my wife that Natty examined earlier. "So it doesn't matter if you deserve it or not." She rose from the floor and went back to the kitchen and finished loading the dishwasher.

"How do I start it?" She at least was back to completing the task at hand. I didn't want her running away from the problem.

"You don't." I smiled. "We have to add a few more meals of dishes before it gets fired up. Just close it and we'll start it tonight." Her shoulder slumped and she looked at the floor.

"I don't know how to pay you back for all this." She had sunk back into herself. She felt bad that I was helping her without some kind of payback..

"Well, there's vacuuming and I really hate cleaning the bathrooms." I wasn't really looking for a housekeeper but, I felt options were in needed. I guess freeloading was going to make her miserable. Natty put out her hand.

"Agreed, I will be the maid while I stay here." I clasped her hand and shook. It was softer than I had imagined. I disliked having to let go.

We arrived at the store and Natty became more animated. I assumed she hadn't been shopping in a long time and she was looking forward to it. "What's my limit." She asked as we exited the car.

"You kind of need everything. Let's try and keep it under $200 and we'll decide what to do from there." The number shocked me as I said it. I couldn't believe I went from $10 to $200 in one day. It's not that I couldn't afford it. I just wasn't used to giving away my money. Natty smiled and grabbed my hand. I guess I wasn't walking fast enough. It was a really nice hand.

Inside the store, she was a new woman. Bouncing from rack to rack. Trying on shoes and quietly grabbing undergarments. About an hour later our cart was filled and I sensed that we may have overdone the budget. "We may have gone over a bit but, I don't think we have anything you could do without." I said as we approached the register. I really didn't have the heart to put anything back. I realized I was enjoying her enthusiasm. After a morning of crying, it simply made me feel good.

"Nope, 181.76. That's if they get the discounts right." Natty said this as a fact. She didn't write anything down and obviously didn't have a calculator. She smiled, "I can get some more if you want to go over."

"181.76? There's no way you figured that out." She had to be guessing.

"Numbers aren't my problem. It's letters that screw me up." She was again stating fact. She was confident that her calculations were correct. "I stopped a little under for sales tax."

I watched with curiosity as the cashier began running the clothes past the scanner. Natty made the cashier correct two of the sale items that rang up wrong. She was quite the bargain hunter. I usually ignored price and just grabbed what I wanted. I was enthralled.

The total came up $195.39 which was 181.76 plus tax. I was floored. Natty was grinning ear to ear. She was a shopping savant. I couldn't believe anyone could be throwing so much stuff into and out of a cart and keep track of the running total.

"Well you're obviously wrong about being stupid." I said as soon as we were out of earshot. "That was amazing. I couldn't have done that with pen and paper." I was so proud of her. I didn't know why, I barely knew her. She continued beaming while she soaked in my praise.

I realized clothes wouldn't be enough. She would need some toiletries. We pulled into the pharmacy and I gave her a $50 target. She grabbed a basket and headed down the isles. I hung out at the magazine rack. I didn't really feel comfortable following her around as she picked up her feminine products. I began to wonder if $50 was enough. I had absolutely no idea what a box tampons or other items cost. God, I would have made a really bad father.

I meet her at the cashier. "How much? I quizzed her.

"$38.15 ." She said flashing a smile. The cashier, a young girl, seemed slightly impressed when Natty got it perfect. Not as big a feat as the clothing store but, amazing none the less. It seemed to be effortless for her. There was obviously nothing wrong with her intelligence. She must have some kind of learning disability to have not picked up reading. I had to get her reviewed by someone who knew what they were doing.

As soon as we got home, she ran the bags into the laundry room. When I caught up to her she was separating and putting the whites in the wash. "What are you doing?" I couldn't understand why anyone would wash new clothes.

"Do you know how many people could have tried these on? Got to wash them first. Otherwise, it would just gross me out." I seriously never thought about it. I wondered if my wife used to wash my new clothes before I found them in my closet. I watched Natty competently turn the dial to normal.

"I thought you couldn't read." I said quizzically pointing at the machines dial.

"I can't but, I can cope." She wasn't smiling anymore "You corrected my setting yesterday. I just put in the same place you did." Damn, she must have a whole slew of countermeasures. She was a smart girl. A really smart girl.

"We have to find out why you have trouble reading. It is definitely not due to a lack of brains." I said staring at the dial. How much trivial stuff does she have to memorize to get by without reading? Out of no where, a pair of lips kissed my cheek.

"Thanks," was all she said as she pushed the start button and headed off to put away the toiletries. I just stood there thinking how soft her lips were.

I spent the balance of the morning searching the internet for someone who could diagnose why Natty had a problem learning to read. It was difficult since I didn't know the proper search words. I was at it for about an hour before I came across a remedial learning center within driving distance. It sounded like they targeted younger kids but, it was worth a try.

I rang them up and spoke with a Dr. Palmer. She was the owner operator of the center and sounded competent. I explained the issue with Natty and asked if she was too old for the center. Dr. Palmer assured me that no one is too old and she would be happy to interview Natty and see what the problem was. She suggested an evening appointment when all the smaller kids were gone. It may be more comfortable for Natty. I agreed and penciled in 6 PM. All I had to do now is convince Natty.

Over lunch I confronted Natty. "I spoke with a Dr. Palmer and she would like to interview you and try to identify your reading issue." I expected some resistance. Maybe some more crying or the desire to leave. I figured this had to be the only thing holding her back so, I didn't want to wait and inch her into it.

"Okay, when?" She didn't seem the least bit hesitant. I must have looked a little surprised because her eyebrows lifted a bit as she waited for my response.

"Ahh, 6 tonight." I stammered, "Kind of thought I would have to talk you into it."

"Nope. You just spent a small fortune on someone you don't know who will probably never be able to pay you back. At the very least, I owe you a little trust." She shrugged and took another bite out of her sandwich. She was growing on me. How the hell did that happen in one day?

"Ok then, we'll see Dr. Palmer and then hit Smitty's BBQ for dinner." I smiled at killing two birds with one stone. Take another step with Natty and feast at my favorite bistro. Luckily, Dr. Palmer was strategically located two blocks away from hog heaven.

Dr. Palmer meet us outside of her office. We had to pass a few small classrooms obviously set up for young children. I was happy we were meeting later. It might have been a bit embarrassing if Natty felt she was walking into a grade school. "You must be Tom Barstow." Dr. Palmer held out her hand. I agreed and shook it. "That would make you Natalie. I'm Karen Palmer. I understand you have some reading issues." Natty lowered her eyes.

"Yes, I guess so." She sounded like she lost ten years of maturity. This was not starting well.

"Tom tells me you're a human calculator. I'll see about the reading and maybe you can help my math because, I suck at it." Karen smiled and held out her hand to Natty. Natty raised her eyes, smiled back and took her hand. "Why don't you wait out here Tom so Natalie and I can talk." I nodded and took one of the uncomfortable seats that were available. I figured it would be a while so I pulled up a word game on my phone.

It was indeed a while. I was busy proving I was an idiot on the phone when the office door finally opened. Natty exited with a big smile followed by Karen. I stood for what I hoped was some good news. Natty looked a Susan and said "Go ahead and tell him."

Karen looked at me, "Natalie is just dyslexic. Nothing that can't be overcome. She just needs to learn some special skills and she will be reading in no time." Natty was getting bouncy.

"Tell him the best part." I think she was going to bounce off the wall.

"I not sure I would call it the best part." Karen was stalling and watching Natty squirm. "I think she is referring to my dyslexia. I was just lucky I found out in fourth grade. In her case, the school dropped the ball." In a mere sixty minutes, Karen had endeared herself to Natty. I was ecstatic and extremely proud of myself.

"Where do we go from here?" I asked.

"At your age Natalie, I think you could get away with a two hour session once or twice a week. You could do most of it on your own once you learn the skills." Karen addressed Natty directly. I was forgetting I wasn't her father. This would have to be her struggle. "Insurance sometimes covers these things. It runs $75 an hour but, I don't think you will need me for very long." Natty was suddenly wary. She had forgotten about the possible costs.

"I'm her transportation right now. If we can keep it to the evenings, it would work out best for me." I didn't want to let Susan in on the whole situation and I wasn't going to make Natty ask me for the money in front of her.

"How about Thursday at 5:30 to 7:30. I have the block open. Will that work for you two?" Natalie was hesitant to answer and looked at me. I don't think she liked how indebted she was becoming. I wasn't going to let this stop. I had a mission and I was going to see it through.

"Thursday at 5:30 works fine for me." I looked at Natty expecting her to answer.

"Ah, yay 5:30 is fine." She was feeling a bit guilty. I would have to change that. Karen looked at me a bit concerned but, booked the time and showed us out.

In the car Natty turned to me, "This is getting to be too much. I'm really not feeling good about all this stuff you're giving me." On the way to the car I thought up a possible solution. It just came to me and seemed like it might work.

"Ever paint a room?" I asked seemingly changing the subject.

"Yes, but what does that have to do with this." She wasn't going to let it go.

"My house hasn't been painted in over ten years. My wife used to handle it. Professional painters want five hundred a room." I was hopefully selling it properly. "I'll buy the supplies and give you two fifty a room." I turned to her with a serious face.

"Deal." She said and held her hand out. "I will be your painting maid." She added a smile. She had a real pretty smile. I shook her hand and we were off for BBQ.

Smitty's was as crowded as it always was. I usually won't wait for a table at a restaurant but, the food here was worth the wait. We were finally seated twenty minutes later. Natty spent the whole time talking about her conversation with Dr. Palmer. She was really impressed with the woman and what she was able to accomplish in spite of her dyslexia. I think Natty had found her first role model.

When we were finally seated, a good looking waitress about my age slid up to the table. "Hi I'm Julie and I will be taking care of you tonight. Would you and your daughter like something to drink while you look at the menu?" I was taken back by the daughter comment but, Natty just smirked.

"I'm just going to have coke. What you having dad?" Natty was smiling. I kind of liked the sound of her calling me dad. I was feeling pretty good about the day so I ordered a beer.

The drinks arrived and I was ready to order. Hell, I was ready before I walked in. I always ordered the same thing. Natty ordered first and before the waitress turned to me, they got into a conversation. I really wanted my pulled pork sandwich and I kept trying to cut in but, I was stymied by conversational protocol. I don't think the two were even stopping to breathe. Finally, Julie turned me and I ordered my pulled pork basket with baked beans and corn with extra sauce.

As soon as Julie left Natty turned to me. "Why don't you ask her out?" Now where in hell did that come from? "She's obviously interested and not bad looking." Natty was continuing to sell the idea.

"I can't just ask the waitress out. What do you mean she's interested?" I guess I missed something. Woman weren't really ever interested in me. Well, except Mary.

"Weren't you listening. She just spent five minutes gathering your vitals. You don't do that for someone you're not interested in." I was kind of lost. Dating was never high in my skill sets. I just want my pulled pork.

"I think you're reading it wrong. She's just being nice. She does work for tips you know." I wasn't really ready for any matchmaking. Much less an embarrassingly awkward BBQ moment.