The Humper Game Pt. 07 Ch. 01

That was the substance of the sermon. Then it was time for the exchange of rings. I had vetoed any reference to worshiping her with my body, and I was pretty sure Ellen was with me. I certainly planned to enjoy her body with mine, doing everything in my power to assure that the converse held as well. We had made our commitments in our vows, but at this point we promised to remain faithful, the ring being a symbol. I removed the engagement ring from her finger, took her wedding ring from Jim, and put them both on her finger, saying my part as I did so. Ellen had decided not to follow the widespread custom of moving the engagement ring to her right hand, electing to leave it where it had been since I put it on her after Christmas. She took my wedding ring from Sam—who looked ecstatically, luminously happy through this whole sequence, as the video clearly showed—and said her part as she placed it on my finger.

Pastor Mac introduced us, Mr. and Mrs. Phil Morris, to the congregation, and instructed me to kiss her. I did so at some, but not extreme, length. Some of the calls of encouragement from some in the congregation were reminiscent of some other occasions with other women, and I was sure I wasn't the only one who thought so. But this was Ellen, and we weren't at that school, and there would be none of that now. I made a mental note to tell Ellen about my little conversation with Sam, after her game with Bella. Later.

We walked down the aisle, Ellen and I leading, women holding men's left arms or elbows. The ushers took charge thereafter, beginning with our parents, dismissing the congregation a row at a time. I noticed that some people from the back went out the side aisles earlier, though. I thought they were church people going out to help with serving the dinner or with steering people to the fellowship hall.

We had a minute or so before the parents arrived, and I reminded Ellen, Sam, and Jim that when we left the receiving line, we were to go to the pastor's office. The official reason was to sign the marriage certificate. I thought he probably wanted to say a few words to us as well, and I needed to apologize to him for falling apart.

I was apologizing to the whole group for that when our parents came up. Steve had also appeared, and was ready to take pictures, which he proceeded to do through the whole receiving process.

Sam said, "Phil, you have nothing to apologize for! It's my fault. You were choking up at the rehearsal, just from the two songs I did then, and I remember your reaction to lots of other things—and I never even thought that surprising you with something like that was a really bad idea! I'm sorry! But remember, what happened in that ceremony was important, but not that detail. You got married, and that's the important thing about the ceremony. And the really important thing is how you live it out, over years and years I trust! And I guarantee that won't go perfectly, so get used to it!"

I hugged her. "Thank you! That song is as precious a gift as your drawing, and it's for both of us. And if everyone who saw thinks my falling apart was a defect in the ceremony, for me it's not. It will be one more treasured memory."

The line was backing up, so we quickly got into our places, in the correct order. But I said to Sam, as we did that, "You had no way of knowing that that is my favorite psalm, and has been forever. One of my earliest memories is of Granddad helping me memorize it, maybe the first thing I memorized, certainly the first whole chapter. And we talked about it often, over several years."

And from just past Mom, Dad spoke up. "He did that with me, too. It was his favorite psalm, hands down." I was almost overcome again, but this time from astonishment at Dad even more than from the memories.

Finally the receiving line did go into operation. People had to run the gauntlet of three beautiful bridesmaids, to Sam, to Ellen's parents, and finally to Ellen and me. After we'd spoken to each one, they had to greet my parents, Jim, and the three other guys. Of course, nobody really knew all of us, but everyone knew Ellen and me at least slightly. And so our parents heard endless variations on, "You must be so proud of him today!" Or "her," or "them." I really had no idea what people said to Sam and Jim, much less any of the others, but of course a whole bunch of the guests were friends of theirs, too, or at least knew them.

There was one very amusing moment. Well, I was amused, anyway! When the Lanigans reached us, Bella and Ellen spoke for a good minute or two in Italian. She probably spoke in Italian with Sam as well, but I didn't hear them. Anyway, Mom and Dad were talking to someone, but it I saw Mom prick up her ears.

Oh, and Ellen's first words were, "Signora Lanigan," and Bella interrupted to say, "'Bella,' per favore, Ellen." That much I understood.

Anyway, Bella and Ellen exchanged hugs and kisses on the cheek, and Bella spoke to me as well—in English, of course. It probably wasn't the same as what she had said to Ellen. Both of the Lanigans, together, offered me great congratulations on our wedding and our marriage, and assured me that I shouldn't be embarrassed about having gotten emotional over Sam's song. Mr. Lanigan—Gene—shook my hand, and Bella and I exchanged kisses on the cheek, very careful on my part. And then she spoiled my carefulness by really hugging me and giving me a little more than a peck on the mouth.

I turned a little as they went on to my parents, and Mom was smiling with what was unmistakably overflowing amusement. She addressed Bella in Italian, not quite as fluent as Ellen's—I thought—but still smooth and fast enough, and Bella answered. After a few moments of back and forth, Mom asked a question, and Bella shook her head as she answered something that sounded like, "No." Even I got that. Mom spoke to Gene, in English. "I'm sorry, I heard Bella and Ellen speaking Italian, and it didn't occur to me that you might not know it, and certainly Bob doesn't. Bella congratulated me—us—on surviving Phil for twenty years and more. She said that having him for a student sometimes exposed her to rather terrifying degrees of, of insight, but that he was a joy to teach. She told me that you were his latest victim, among many who have attempted to teach him music."

"That's right. It was frustrating to both of us, and it's to his credit that he tried hard and mostly didn't complain. I've taught students before who were labeled as tone-deaf, but who could learn. There may have been some physical issues involved, but in most cases I believe that no one had ever really tried to help them, and that probably they just weren't exposed to music much at all at an early age. No one sang with them and tried to get them to sing along when they were quite young, for example.

"Phil is different. I'm convinced that there is some kind of neurological deficiency. But he is pretty perceptive about rhythm, possibly more so than the average untrained person, and he can sometimes tell dissonance from harmony, and usually both of those from unison. In fact, he usually can recognize an octave interval, if the notes are played together on the same instrument, but he can't reliably tell which is higher.

"And fortunately, he is both very intelligent and very perceptive in other areas. A musician he'll never be, though I wonder whether if he'd been started on percussion—at the age kids usually start instruments—he might have been passable as a drummer. Instruments like marimba wouldn't have been suitable, of course. But he's so very talented in other ways that he will go far. It was a joy to see him, on several occasions." And he smiled with amusement, as Bella laughed and I winced, knowing exactly what he was thinking of. One occasion, anyway. I wondered whether he had watched the videos of my interactions with Bella. I thought he probably had.

I had been stalling the line, ignoring the guest who had been greeting Ellen. I was glad it was neither Mr. Miles nor Ms. Miller—John and Mary, I should say. Except that they would have listened with interest to that conversation, I thought. This was someone from the church, and I supposed she probably had listened with interest as well. At any rate, I apologized, and she was very understanding. I told her that the Lanigans were instructors of mine from high school, with Mrs. Lanigan also having tutored both Ellen and Sam in Italian as well. I was sure that she had heard them speaking, and I hoped she didn't know Italian—not that they were likely to have said anything that inappropriate. Anyway, I said that we had fond memories, and were not likely to see them again soon. We chatted about the ceremony in several respects. This was someone we knew less well, who wouldn't be at the reception, but she was very kind, friendly, and complimentary. And she too told me that I should never be ashamed of being overcome with emotion. She clearly had heard Bella say what she had, to me, about that.

John Miles and Mary Miller came to us a few moments later. They gave us much the same kind of congratulations that most people did. But as I spoke to the next couple, I heard fragments of their conversation with Mom and Dad, and I knew at some point there would be a quiz. Phrases such as "two of our favorite students," "helped us greatly with some problems," and "eager to see what he goes on to accomplish" distracted me from the couple I needed to pay attention to right then.

A bunch of people from church there qualified as friends, and a number were coming to the reception. David Scott, Kelly's Sunday School teacher—and ours for the past six months—was one. He spoke to us fairly briefly, but to the point. He thanked us for our participation in his class, saying that he hoped we would still be attending even though our specific commitment was over. He knew, of course, that our commitment had been to attend church, not to participate in his class or any other. He did expect to see us once in a while, anyway, and he knew he would hear about us from Kelly in any case. I heard him talking to Mom and Dad, saying very complimentary things about our support for Kelly and our role in his class as well. Dad was relatively quiet and noncommittal in response to comments like that, from quite a number of people, so much so that I wasn't sure what to make of it.

When Uncle John and Aunt Sally had spoken to us, Ellen and I both turned with them as they went on to Mom and Dad. I introduced them, saying that we had told Mom and Dad how kind and welcoming they had been to us—referring to them as Uncle John and Aunt Sally as I did so. Dad and Uncle John kind of eyed each other, and allowed that they had met. Mom said to me, "I see exactly what you mean, that John reminds you strongly of your grandfather."

We turned back to the next people who were waiting for us, who happened to be Elise and Tammy. That probably wasn't coincidence, exactly. Nothing could have been more natural than for Uncle John and Aunt Sally to have sat with Kelly, and the same for Elise and Tammy as well. Kelly was going to bring up the rear of the line, so as to assure us that we could leave. And, I hoped, to shoo along any stragglers.

We talked for a minute to Elise and Tammy, but once again there was no reason to speak at length to these people we would be seeing all the time. Except that Tammy spoke of my reaction to Sam's song, and I had to say what I'd said to Sam about its being my favorite psalm, and then what Dad had said about Granddad. Well, she had seen it happen to me before, after all. Again, though, we turned to introduce them to Mom and Dad, before returning our attention to others. Mom and Dad had met Tammy with everyone else, the day before, but I didn't think they had spoken personally.

When Barbara Dearie and Jon came to us, we had more time than usual to talk. Claire and Jeff were next, and they were holding up the line, it seemed, enjoying some amused reminiscences with Sam and all three bridesmaids. I never did find out what they were talking about, and it was probably just as well. At any rate, Barbara and Jon spoke to Ellen and me together. After a few moments, we both turned and introduced them to Mom and Dad. I said, "Jon was a good friend of mine almost all of the four years. We've already told you that I didn't hang out with the guys as much the last year, and why, of course. Barbara's really special, and they're a great example of a case where partner selection was obviously very well thought out."

Barbara gave me a grin, then said to Mom and Dad, "I hope you know how special both Phil and Ellen are. Here's a case in point. Back in January, after they got engaged, Phil warned me that they'd told you a lot about me—but he had tried to protect my reputation by not giving my name. So I suppose it's up to me to say, I'm the one he said he described as the standoffish one." Mom laughed, and maybe Dad, a little, too. "But I need to tell you, that first time, he did everything possible to help me. I'd been expecting painful and horrid, and it was pretty nice. Plenty nice enough that at the next opportunity, after I'd had time to sort through it, I was about as eager as I could possibly have been, and it was wonderful! But what's way more important is that he helped me, well, come out of my shell, which was really hard but changed my whole life. I knew I needed to, but I was afraid." Jon's arm was around her waist, and he gave her a squeeze.

Barbara looked back down the line and went on, with another rather twisted grin, "And I'll out the other one, the one just before me, who wasn't afraid like me but who was pretty down at that point. And Phil did what she asked him to, and gave her what she needed, too. That's Claire, who's next after me, this time." And yes, Claire and Jeff had come up, and clearly had heard all that last.

Ellen and I turned to them and spoke for a minute or two. We again turned to introduce them to my parents, but Claire said, "You heard, Phil. Barbara already introduced me. We kind of came in on the end of it all, it seems, but what we heard is exactly right, and I don't mind your knowing it. This is Jeff, and I'm kind of hoping we'll be the next ones getting married. We're both grateful to Phil and Ellen, too."

We turned to greet the next ones, who hadn't been standing and listening to all this but weren't too far behind.

Soon, movement of people down the line became more sporadic. No one was exactly waiting, but people did keep starting into the receiving line, so there were spaces between people. At one of these, Mom stepped closer to me and said, "I found it very interesting to meet Bella. I understand exactly what you meant. It's not that she looks younger than she is, but that she is in good shape and very much still a beauty. But I also see why she took you back to your grandmother, saying goodbye to you that way. I'm very, very pleased to have met her, and her husband too. That raised some questions I didn't think of before. I'll try to remember to ask them some other time."

I was grateful that someone else finished with Ellen's parents right about that time. I didn't want to even think about what those questions might be!

After a while, Kelly came through the line. She had met everyone in it by that time, and she didn't take too much time chatting with anyone. She got to Ellen and me, and gave Ellen a hug, murmuring something to her I couldn't catch. Well, obviously I wasn't supposed to. Ellen hugged her back, saying, "Thank you for everything you've done. Not just for the wedding, though that's plenty. But your being such a friend. Friday nights have meant so much to us both! I hope we can keep them up, when we get back." They hugged again, kissing on the cheeks. Kelly stepped up to me, gave me a hug, and said, "Congratulations, Phil. I'm so happy for you both! I'm the last one through the line, and I should have pushed the last dozen or so over to you a lot faster, but I got to talking. But anyway—," And she kissed me, on the mouth, a little longer than was really seemly. And me a married man, at that!

But I'd been getting kisses on the mouth from a number of women, mostly from school, too many of whom I'd done more with than kiss—and Ellen had collected a good number of kisses from guys, besides kisses on the cheek from most of the rest. Nobody thought for a moment that there was even a faint chance that any of these would ever lead to anything. Barbara had kissed me while Jon kissed Ellen, and then when I offered him a handshake he had pulled me into a hug. About the same for Claire and Jeff, who followed them. I had really been surprised when Helen kissed me for more than a moment, with a little passion in it. I had never, ever had the faintest idea that she would somehow be a friend to me—and I was all for it!—but obviously she was still moved by my having forgiven her—which was a really big deal for me, too. She had stopped some distance beyond the end of the line, to wait for Jim, I assumed. Tammy was waiting there for Pete, too. I wondered what they had found to talk about while they waited. Elise had given me a friendly hug and a kiss on the cheek, but Tammy had kissed me on the mouth, just a hair more than a peck.

Barbara Wilson had given me a hug and a very brief kiss, as she had Ellen as well. Bert took Ellen's hand and congratulated her warmly, and shook my hand firmly. Well, we didn't really know each other, after all, and he was very cordial. But he said, before he went on, "I hope someday I'll get a chance to really know both of you. I understand what Barbara says, and if we're getting married someday it's mostly thanks to you. Assuming we do, you're at the top of the list to invite, of Barbara's friends. Nancy is the only one ahead of you." Nancy hadn't been able to come to our wedding, but she had sent a rather long letter saying just how much we meant to her. Barbara had featured in what she said to me, but she said affectionate things on her own behalf, too.

I hoped that Steve hadn't gone for the kisses in taking pictures. I had ignored him for the most part.

As soon as Kelly had passed down the rest of the line—my attendants—I said, "OK, everyone! Most of you just go on down that hall to the fellowship hall for the reception. Follow Kelly. Jim, Sam, we need you in the pastor's office to sign the certificate. Helen, since you've waited this long, I guess you might as well come too. Mom, Dad, Mother, Father, if you come with us it will be a bit crowded, and we were assuming you'd rather go to the reception and sit down, but if you want to come, you're welcome. I suspect we'll talk a bit, so it may take a little time." I'd thought ahead, to make sure I addressed Ellen's parents correctly.

Of course, it wasn't that simple. Ellen's parents both gave me big hugs, with smiles that said they really were happy to have me as son in law, and hugged Ellen and spoke to her. And Mom and Dad followed suit. They all were ready to go sit down and talk in a different way than they had been in the line.

Helen came and gave Ellen and me each one more hug, then gave Jim a big kiss. She went off toward the reception.

So the four of us knocked on Pastor Mac's door, and he came and admitted us. We all sat down.

He signed the certificate himself, and said, "We're all supposed to sign this in each other's presence, so that we can testify not only to the wedding but to everyone's signing. I've never once heard of any question being raised about a marriage certificate, but that's the rule. Phil and Ellen, you sign next, and then your witnesses."

We all signed, and then he produced another certificate and signed it. "This one has no legal standing, but you may sometime find it helpful to have. You probably will want to keep the legal certificate in a safe deposit box, and you might want to show someone that you are married without having to go dig it out. This is probably not a serious issue today, but it was once common for the better hotels, for instance, to refuse to rent a room to a couple who weren't married. Something like a driver's license in the name Ellen Morris, with the same address, would usually have sufficed as well, of course." He knew that she planned to change her name.