The Hunger Ch. 07

My reading was not limited to the internet. I tore through the book, The Ethical Slut, which Sharon had sent home with me. She was absolutely right; it did turn out to be a wonderful tool in my acceptance of my sexuality. Again, I found there are others like me and not only do they exist but the book set out a sort of loose guide towards how to treat others in regards to this type of lifestyle. The suggestions did not just cover how to treat lovers in bed, but also in regards to your out of bed relationships with significant others as well as more casual sexual acquaintances. It talked about how it was possible to have lovers in your life on various levels and how to enjoy being with them. It helped guide me towards a new found sense of acceptance and self-awareness. It was OK, after all, to enjoy sex for the sake of the pleasure alone. It didn't make me a bad person, or even a pervert for that matter. Enjoying sex was a healthy thing, both physically and psychologically, and perhaps spiritually in its own way. I finished the book with an entirely new definition of the word slut and began to accept that term as part of my own sexual self-identity and vocabulary.

I chatted with Sharon almost every night online. She did not contact me on Monday, saying that she wanted to give me some time to recover and reflect. She mainly listened as I poured out everything that was going on in my life and my brain. She later said it was like I went through an accelerated version of what she had herself gone through at one point in her life. What she discovered in months or even years was happening to me in mere days. She called me "motivated" and the word "epiphany" was used on a couple of occasions. I couldn't help but smile at that. When I thought about it I had to agree. I had never gone about anything in my life in a half hearted manner. It was all or nothing and that extended to both my personal and professional life. When I took something on, I did so with a certain degree of devotion and ferocity. Perhaps re-inventing my sexuality was no different.

Mostly though, she provided me with support and comfort. She was the big sister I never had. Our online chats could have just as easily occurred in a pink bedroom with rock star posters and with us dressed in flannel night gowns as we discussed the guys we liked at school. Obviously, the subject matter was a bit more mature than that, but our time together had that sort of feel to it. She was my peer and my mentor at the same time. I think she got a pretty good kick out of it. She told me that she was reporting the majority of our chats back to Jim and he was enjoying it as well. She hinted that she and Jim had enjoyed more then one enjoyable sex session after she shared the latest details of my burgeoning sexuality. Apparently I was also serving as a catalyst for them as well.

Our chats broke down to two different categories. The first discussion concerned the details of my sexual exploration, both physical and mental. That was pretty easy for me. She usually listened to what I was trying during my masturbation sessions and the kinds of material I was reading online and in "Slut." She merely offered a few suggestions, usually a favorite web site or something similar. The second category was what I came to refer to as "what does this all mean?" I could sense that she was re-assured by the progress I had made in this regard. Our chats acted as a good gauge of how well I was actually doing. By talking to her, it forced me to put a lot of discordant thoughts into some sort of intelligible form. Talking to her helped me organize my own introspection to the point that it all started to make sense to me as well. For that I will eternally be grateful to Sharon. My various thoughts, feelings, emotions, and physical sensations were all starting to form some sort of cohesiveness that allowed me to at least prepare to make some decisions about my life. I wasn't there yet, and perhaps wouldn't be there at any point in the immediate future, but I could begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was all starting to make sense.

When I told Sharon about going back to the gym, she had some good suggestions on how to incorporate that as part of my sexual exploration that I incorporated into my workouts. The next evening I was mounted on an exer-cycle with my trusty plug buried in my ass and the cycle seat doing a great job of pushing it in further. I hope the other occupants didn't recognize the wet stain between my thighs was anything other than sweat because I was flowing like a river. I reported the results back to Sharon later that evening and she seemed pleased. I also told her that I had really gotten into people watching at the gym and had added a few of the regulars there as characters in my fantasies.

When I told her about the results with the plug, I said that it sure helped my motivation to continue working out. She said she had another suggestion and the next day I was visiting an adult bookstore near where I worked in search of something that she called "duotone balls." I had no idea what they were, but the cute girl that worked there showed me what they were, all the while grinning broadly. I was in a hurry to get to the gym but decided that another trip to this store was called for. I not only wanted to see what other items might catch my eye, but possibly to get to know the cute clerk a little better as well.

The duotone balls were an absolute success. They were rapidly incorporated into my repertoire. They resulted in a moderate level of arousal while I worked out that I found very enjoyable. I did manage to remember to throw some panty liners into my workout bag this time to prevent any embarrassing stains. I found that the duotones had their best effect while I was on the stair climber. They forced me to do kegels while I was exercising to keep them in. They did try to slip out once, but a quick trip to the locker room to re-insert them took care of that problem and I soon had the knack of wearing them. I had always been pretty conscientious about doing kegels to keep my pussy well toned, but I thought a few more certainly wouldn't hurt as part of my workouts. I did revert to a quick "jill off" orgasm in the shower after my workout, but it was just an appetizer for more extensive exploration when I got home. After that, the duotones and the plug found a permanent home in my workout bag.

On Wednesday, during a phone call with Sharon, I got the question from her that I had been hoping for ever since I had left. She asked if I wanted to come back to the camp and spend the weekend with them. She offered to give me some time to think it over but I quickly accepted. I did inform her that I did have one possible conflict. I had been exchanging emails and a phone call with Ken and Lynn and they had extended an invitation to spend the evening with them on Saturday. Sharon was very accommodating and said that she and Jim wouldn't have a problem with me slinking off to go play with Ken and Lynn. She chuckled as she said "slink off."

Sharon was quiet for a minute and then said, "One thing I should warn you about though."

"What's that?" I replied.

"Ken and Lynn can be pretty intense if you know what I mean. They tone it down at parties but when they are playing in the privacy of their home they tend to cut loose," she stated.

"By intense, you mean that they are into BDSM?" I asked.

"Uuuuuhhh, yes, exactly," she said.

"Well, I sorta got a hint about that at the party. I just sensed that and when we talked yesterday the topic came up. To be honest, I'm more then a little intrigued."

A pretty extensive conversation followed about BDSM and how practitioners of that lifestyle made up a sub-set of the swinging lifestyle. She explained that they usually keep a pretty low profile when playing with other couples that were not into BDSM. Non-BDSM couples were referred to as a "vanillas."

I told Sharon that I appreciated being forewarned and went on to tell her that my "research" gave me at least a basic idea of what to expect. She accepted that I was a big girl and knew what I was doing and our conversation moved on to the more practical matters of making plans for my trip back to the camp.

After I finally said my goodbyes to Sharon I fired off an email to Ken and Lynn and accepted their offer. I was looking forward to a new adventure.

My "play time" that night was particularly passionate. My fantasies were filled with images of playing with Sharon and Jim and also of Ken and Lynn. My fantasies of Ken and Lynn were even wilder. At least with Sharon I had some basis to know what to expect. Playing with Ken and Lynn was a total unknown to me and my imagination had no limits.

I was quite distracted on Thursday, or should I just say more than usual? I again buried myself in work and tried to stay focused. I did manage to slide out for lunch and a quick shopping trip. I wanted to pick up a few things to wear for the weekend. My limited "slut wear" wardrobe was a little thin. I had fired off a quick email to Sharon in the morning and asked her advice as to what I should wear, if anything, for my date with Ken and Lynn. She gave me a few suggestions and I ventured out at lunch to find something along the lines of her suggestions. There is a lingerie and dance wear store near my office that I thought would have something appropriate. I did some quick power shopping and grabbed a take out salad to eat back at my desk. Thankfully the afternoon was a blur as I buried myself in a new project I had been assigned.

I didn't even look at the clock until it was 5:30. I decided to wrap up my work, call it a day and head to the gym. When I got to the gym I stripped out of my work clothes and stepped on the scales. I was happy to see that I had lost 2 pounds. My goal wasn't really to lose weight, but it was nice to see that my efforts were have some results. I was more interested in toning and body sculpting. My arms and legs could use a little tightening, and a bit more muscles on my chest and ass wouldn't hurt either.

I took my work out bag to the enclosed toilet to insert my plug, which I had decided to wear for my workout. I caught the eye of a cute, young female trainer who I thought might have seen the plug inside my unzippered bag. She gave me a big smile that reinforced my conclusion. I was embarrassed and excited at the same time. I couldn't help but think of her as I lubed and inserted the plug. I was gradually learning to relax and accept it and it was getting easier as time went on.

I started my work out on the bike and I made eye contact with the trainer a few times. We exchanged smiles and it was almost like we were flirting with our eyes and smiles across the gym. I recall seeing her around the gym before, but to be honest I hadn't really paid much attention to her. It seemed like there was always something new catching my attention lately. I couldn't help admiring her and my mind wandered back to Cathy, my body builder lover from the party. It wasn't that their bodies were all that similar. Cathy was much taller and more heavily muscled. The trainer was more petite and compact but I couldn't help but admire her fit body. She was wearing a t-shirt and shorts with the gym's logo on them. The best way I can describe her is as being "tight." I had her pegged as an aerobics instructor, or something similar. She had the body of someone that had always been an athlete or fitness fanatic. Her breasts were small and rode high on her chest. Perhaps her best feature was her ass. It was definitely of the "bubble butt" variety but it was clear as I watched her that it was all muscle, and not flabby at all. Her youth, blond hair, blue eyes, along with her body were like a sign that said, "cheer leader."

If grinding away on the bike with the plug in my ass hadn't already done the job, looking at, and thinking about the trainer certainly had me in an aroused state. My nipples were making their presence known through the thin fabric of my leotard for anyone that cared to look. I hung a towel around my neck to cover them. I was glad I had the foresight to use a panty liner because my pussy was leaking profusely. I had considered using the duotones and the plug together and I was suddenly glad I hadn't. I think I might have overwhelmed the absorbent capacity of the panty liner. My labia were swollen and my arousal was further increased by my pumping thighs. I tried to concentrate on my workout, but when I started to do kegels in rhythm with my pedaling, it just increased my arousal to another level. My ass contracted around the plug as I did the kegels and this only added to the sensations flooding my body. I was definitely in heat. The fact that I was in public added a wicked element that just turned up my lust to a higher degree. My hard nipples seemed as if they were ready to explode through the fabric covering them. I realized that my passion was causing me to push my workout even harder and I was pedaling faster as my lust grew. I lost track of the trainer as she circulated around the floor, providing suggestions to the various people in the gym. I was jolted back into reality when I heard her voice next to me.

"You're really pushing it tonight, aren't you," I heard her say.

"Yea, I guess so. I just needed to work off a little frustration," I replied, our eyes meeting.

"Tough day at work?" she asked.

"Yea, that too," I replied.

She giggled and her eyes sort of lit up when she did. My pussy throbbed. I was in full tilt lust for this little hard bodied girl. She wasn't much more then a girl I thought, maybe 20 or 21 years old. I suddenly felt very old.

"The bike is really good for general aerobic workouts. Is there anything you would like some help with, meaning anything else you would like to accomplish at the gym?" she said. Did I see a glint in her eyes that could indicate a double meaning to her statement, I wondered?

"Well, now that you mention it, I was thinking earlier about doing some other exercise to help do a little bit of body sculpting. To be honest I have never done any weight training and I am a little bit intimidated by it," I replied. I couldn't help but notice a change in her smile. Was she happy that I had asked for her help? Hmmmm... Perhaps I wasn't the only one that was feeling an attraction here. That thought caused another involuntary spasm in my pussy and I couldn't help but wonder what I was getting myself into.

"Why don't you follow me over to the weight area and we can talk about your goals and perhaps come up with a simple program to achieve it. I promise to keep it simple and let you work your way into it," she said. Her smile was infectious and at that point I think I would have followed her anywhere.

As I got off the bike and began to follow her she said, "By the way, my name is Heather." Of course it is, I couldn't help thinking snidely, definitely a cheer leader. Her name fit her appearance and perky personality.

"Nice to meet you Heather, I'm Kim," I replied, trying to keep a straight face.

As we walked she asked me about my goals and I repeated to her my earlier thoughts. When I told her that I though my breasts could be helped out a little with a little work on my pecs, she looked down at her own chest, looked up at me, grinned, and said "I know the feeling."

I didn't miss a beat and replied, "Maybe you just need a second opinion, they look pretty good to me." I couldn't believe it, here I was flirting with this girl and throwing sexual innuendos at her like a brazen hussy. I would have never even considered saying anything like that only a short time ago. I had said it without even thinking. It just rolled off my lips. Perhaps some of the changes that had occurred to me were starting to make their selves known.

When we got around to talking about my ass she said she had the perfect exercise for that. I snuck a peek at her ass and asked, "Are you speaking from personal experience here, because if this exercise is your secret, I definitely want to know what it is."

Heather blushed at my not so subtle compliment of her ass and said, "Well, that is partly genetics and partly exercise, but your glutes don't look like they need a lot of work, perhaps just a little toning. I'd be happy to help you with a program and help, err... monitor your progress," she said, her voice softer to keep from being over heard.

Damn, this girl could dish it out as well as she received it. I've never been a big flirter, but I was really enjoying the bantering back and forth with Heather. Her non-verbal cues were stepped up a notch as well. I was getting lost in her eyes and her smile. Was I just fooling myself? Could this girl be attracted to me, or was she just enjoying flirting with me?

Her hands were touching my body as she showed me which muscles to concentrate on as she led me through my workout. My pussy twitched and clit throbbed in sympathy whenever she touched me. Damn, she was turning me on. "Why?" I asked myself. It wasn't like I was going without sex. My libido was definitely super charged lately and sex was always hanging there, always in the background, in almost every facet of my life. I forced myself to concentrate on the workout, but my mind was constantly wandering. I couldn't help wondering what Heather would taste like, what she sounded like when she reached orgasm, and how her nipples would feel between my lips. These thoughts, and many others, flashed through my mind like lightning.

Finally she was through with me. I experienced a combined feel of relief and loss that my time with her was over. Those feeling were exacerbated by her parting comments to me.

"Why don't you cool down for a bit, take a shower and then take a soak in the hot tub? My shift is almost over and I'll join you in a few minutes and we can discuss your new training regime."

"OK, sounds like a plan," I managed to say. I skipped my usual cool down and rushed to the shower and stripped out of my soaked workout outfit in record time. My body was flushed and warm, from both the exercise and my arousal. I decided that I liked the flushed feeling that the weight workout had caused. Once I was under the warm spray of the water, my fingers flew to my pussy for relief. The plug was still in my ass and as always, its presence increased my pleasure. My orgasm was quick and especially intense and I struggled to muffle my moans of pleasure. I hoped that the sound of the flowing water helped to cover the sounds of pleasure that did manage to slip past my lips. I let my pent up fantasies of Heather flood my brain as I diddled myself to a climax. The orgasm was much needed but hardly satisfying. I was still in need of more, but it was just enough to take the edge off my passion until I got home where I could allow myself the freedom to really let go.

My gym had a separate men's and women's hot tub in the locker room. It was not unusual for the women to soak nude after their workout. The new found freedom I felt in nudism allowed me to especially enjoy this feature of the gym. After I had soaped up and regained some sense of normality, I removed the plug, stashed it in the zip lock bag I saved for this purpose and wrapped in a towel, I headed for the warm waters of the spa.

I settled in and closed my eyes and reclined my head back on the edge of the tub. The water felt good. Heather had pushed me beyond my normal workout and I knew I would be sore in the morning. It was late and near closing time and I was the only occupant of the tub. I could hear other women in the locker room as they dressed. The sound of conversations and slamming locker doors faded into a dull background. My mind once again wandered as I thought about Heather and my reaction to her. I had come to the conclusion that she would simply supply me with some nice new fantasy material for my forays into self loving when my reverie was interrupted as I heard foot steps approaching.