The Incredible Birthday Present

"Happy Birthday, dear!"

Marilyn smiled from ear to ear as she held out the little bag decorated with cakes and party hats and balloons.

"Aw babe, my birthday's not until next week. I thought we were just going to go out to dinner to celebrate. You didn't have to get me a present too."

"Fred, just shut up and enjoy. You don't turn 36 every day and I wanted to get you something very special for the occasion. And, boy have I found something special. Go ahead, open it up. You're going to love it!"

Fred sat at the dinner table as Marilyn moved the dirty dishes to one side. He took a box out of the little bag and looked at it. It was wrapped in brown paper and addressed to Marilyn. It had no identifying marks or logos or anything to tell him what it was from the outside. Fred always prided himself at being able to tell what gift he was about to unwrap without actually unwrapping it. The shape, the weight, the sound it made when he moved it always gave him a clue as to what was inside. This time however he had no clue.

"Well, don't just sit there fondling it. Open it up. I can't wait to see your face." Marilyn said looking anxiously at him.

"Alright, alright, don't rush me. I want to savor the moment."

Tentatively he pulled at the paper. It was wrapped tightly and took some time to get all of the wrapping paper off. When he had his present unwrapped he looked at it and said, "It's a GPS navigation system. Nice, but I've already got one. It's old but it still gets me where I want to go."

"You don't have one like this. Nobody does. This is a prototype. It's called 'The Travel Companion'. You know that my brother works for an electronics distributer, right? Well he called me a couple weeks ago and told me about what you have in your hands. It seems that he does business with a company in California that has developed a revolutionary new type of GPS system and they wanted people to test it out before going public with it. He gave me the information and I emailed the company and arranged to get one of the new units. It's supposed to be ten steps above any GPS system on the market now. Come on, take it out and let's see it."

Fred opened the box and took out the components, all wrapped in plastic, Styrofoam and bubble wrap, and carefully spread them out on the table. He set the instructions aside without reading them. What man reads the instructions anyway? He held the screen in his hands and turned it around and around to examine it. He looked puzzled and said, "Well, it doesn't look any different than any other system on the market. What makes this one so special?"

Marilyn smiled and said, "Just turn it on. You'll see." She stood up and moved around behind Fred so she could see the screen too.

Fred pressed the on button and waited. The logo for '24th Century Electronics' displayed for a few seconds before disappearing. After what seemed like forever the display changed again. This time a beautiful blond haired woman appeared on the screen. She was smiling and looking around at the top and bottom and sides of the screen. This was not the usual computer generated representation of a woman. It was as though a real woman was inside the unit looking out. She had exquisite details, shades, contours, and textures. Everything a real woman would have if she were alive and had a head only three inches tall. Her head and shoulders were the only part of her visible on the little screen, but that was enough. And she was absolutely gorgeous. She could have been in any men's magazine or on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

She stopped and looked straight out at Fred and said.

"Hello, my name is Jill. I am your travel companion. Before we can go on our journeys together I need to do a little set-up work, and I need your help. But first let me tell you a little bit about this unit and myself."

Fred and Marilyn just stood mesmerized with their mouths open as Jill continued.

"This unit is the first in a series of GPS navigation systems called The Travel Companion. It is not just designed to guide you from destination to destination. It is designed to meet any and all of your personal needs during the trip. Each unit is designed with a different and distinct personality. This unit will learn and grow. It will also change as it grows. It will learn your habits, your likes and dislikes and integrate them into its personality. You might be surprised the first time it anticipates what you want before you ask. You can be assured that your every need will be satisfied."

Jill stopped talking and just smiled as she stared out at Fred. After a few long seconds she asked, "What is your name?"

When Fred got his wits about him he looked down at the unit for a keyboard. There wasn't any. He turned it over and there wasn't any on the back either. He tapped the front screen just below Jill's lovely face hoping to make a touch screen keyboard pop up.

"Oh, you do not have to type anything," Jill said sweetly smiling. "Everything is done by voice command. There are no buttons to press. All you have to do is talk to me. I will understand. What is your name?"

"My name is Fred."

"Hi, Fred, I am glad to meet you. Who is that standing behind you?"

Fred turned around to Marilyn with a stunned expression on his face and saw an equally amazed expression on her face. They just looked at one another until Jill spoke up again.

"I am sorry, I did not tell you that I can see you as well as hear you. That was how I knew that someone was standing behind you, Fred. What is your name?"

"Marilyn," she replied.

"It is nice to meet you Marilyn. Are you two married?"

Marilyn looked at Jill with her mouth open and said, "Yes, we are. How did you know?"

"Oh, it was obvious by the way you were caressing Fred's neck a moment ago. You must love him very much."

"I do love him very much," Marilyn said without thinking. For an instant she seemed a bit disconcerted that she was talking to a machine. The image on the screen may have been that of a beautiful woman but still it was the manifestation of a machine. The feeling passed fairly quickly the more they talked.

Jill said, "That is wonderful. Now I need to get some basic information from both of you. We have already introduced ourselves so I will just ask a series of questions to fill out my profile information about you and your likes and dislikes. I hope you do not mind. Some of the questions might seem a bit strange and personal but I need the answers so I can work with you. Are you ready?"

Both Fred and Marilyn simply nodded.

"Good. Are we home now?"

Fred said, "Yes."

"What is the street address here?"

"6214 Baltic Street."

"Now, Fred, how tall are you?"

"I'm six foot even."

"Are you right handed or left handed?"

"Right."

"And how old are you?"

"I'm 36 today."

"Well, happy birthday. Do you have any children?"

"Yes, we have two, a girl and boy. Their names are Debi and Mason."

"How long have you two been married?"

"Eleven years."

"Have you ever been married before?"

"No."

"OK, now Marilyn, how tall are you?"

"I'm five foot six inches tall."

"Are you right handed or left handed?"

"Right."

"How old are you?"

"I'm 34."

"Have you ever been married before?"

"No. These are some strange questions. How many more are there?"

"I have just got a couple more. I know they seem strange but I need to know you to anticipate your needs. I will learn a lot more about you as we go along but for now I just need the basics. Now, will you two be the only ones using my services?"

Fred looked at Marilyn and scratched his head. "Uh, I guess so. The kids are too young to drive so it's just us."

"Now, will you be using me in the car only or also when you take walks around the city or in the countryside?"

"I think both are possible."

"Good, now how often will we be traveling together: Every day, once a week, once a month, rarely? Just take a guess."

Marilyn said, "I don't know maybe several times a week. Fred has to go on long trips sometimes for work and I take the kids all over the place for school and sports events."

"Now Fred, I need a word or phrase that I can use as a challenge question. Something that we will both know that I can use to identify you when I can not get a good voice print and something that you can use to identify me when you want to make sure you are talking to me. It will act like a password. It can be anything you like. You could say something like 'The name of my first girlfriend was Jane.' Oh, and if you do not want Marilyn to know what it is then she should step out of the room for a moment."

"No, it's OK that she hears. Let's see... something I can easily remember. OK how about this? Ahem, 'My first dog's name was Sam'. How was that?"

"Good. Now it is your turn Marilyn. What will be your challenge question?"

"How about, 'Chocolate cake is my favorite food'."

"OK, one last question. Do you want to take advantage of my Special Personal Service option when traveling?"

Fred and Marilyn look puzzled. Fred asked, "What special services are you talking about?"

"They are detailed in the user's guide that came in the box. I am sure that you read the instructions. So, do you want to use them when we travel?"

Fred looked at Marilyn and shrugged his shoulders and said, "Sure, why not?"

"Good. We are going to have a lot of fun together. Well, that is all I need for now. Everything is set and ready. Oh, and one final thing. You can customize my appearance any way you like. Right now I appear as blond woman but if you prefer a redheaded man then I can do that. I can also change to any movie personality that you like. When Fred is driving I could be Charlize Theron or Angelina Jolie and when Marilyn is driving I could be Brad Pitt or George Clooney. You can choose at any time."

Jill just stared out at Fred and said one final thing. "When you want me just say 'Hello Jill' and I will be there for you. I will be waiting. Bye."

Both Fred and Marilyn just stared at the screen as it faded to black.

"That's freaking amazing," Fred said a bit too loudly. "I can't wait to go to Clinton Manufacturing next week and take her along. She might just make that tired old trip fun after all. Babe, this could be the most incredible birthday present you've ever given me. Thanks." He stood up and grabbed her in a tight hug and kissed her deep and hard.

"Hummmm, maybe I ought to buy you toys more often. Let's take this upstairs. We've got a few minutes until the kids get back from soccer practice."

Upstairs they went, hand in hand.

********

"Hello Jill."

"Good morning Fred, how are you today?"

"Fine."

"Where do you want to go?"

"First I need some coffee then we're going to Clinton Manufacturing in Philly."

"OK. First stop, Starbucks. Proceed point two miles on Baltic Street and turn left onto Brandywine Road. "

"OK Jill, I know the way."

"OK, I will be quiet until you leave Starbucks."

********

Once back on the road Jill said, "I have the trip to Clinton Manufacturing in Philadelphia calculated. Do you want me to announce the route?"

"Yes, that would be fine," Fred said sipping his Dark Roast Belgian Blend.

Jill's face disappears and a three-dimensional map showing the route appears

"Turn right onto Woodyard Road. Proceed point five miles and turn left onto Branch Avenue."

The trip continued beautifully, even automatically detouring around an accident on the highway. Once on a long stretch of the interstate Jill said, "Fred, would you like to talk? It will be better than listening to the radio."

This is so cool he thought. Fred asked, "Sure, what do you want to talk about?"

"I see in the news that the Nationals beat the Cubs last night, I know you are a Nationals fan. But we could talk about the merger of Pauli Industries and United Manufacturing. How about the troop withdrawal in Afghanistan? Just about any topic you want."

"How do you know I'm a Nats fan?"

"I can see the team decal in the rear window."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. And how do you know about Pauli and United. I haven't heard anything about their merger. Anyway, why do you think I'd be interested in them?"

"I know about their merger from the Wall Street Journal. It is in this morning's edition. And you would be interested because they are competitors of Clinton Manufacturing. That is where we are going today."

"Wow Jill, you are good. Thanks, but I think I'll skip the business talk and I saw the last two innings of the game last night so we can skip that too. What else have you got?" Fred took the last large drink of his coffee.

"We could always talk about sex."

Fred spit the coffee all over his shirt. "What did you just say?"

"I said we could always talk about sex."

"That's what I though you said. Are you kidding?" Fred reached for the roll of paper towels on the passenger seat and started wiping up the mess on his chest.

"No, we can talk about sex in a many different ways. After all you did say you wanted my Special Personal Service option."

"OK, I did say I wanted it but I didn't read the instructions. I just said 'yes' because you offered. I don't even know what it's all about. Can you explain?"

"Certainly. My Special Personal Service allows me to engage in sex talk, role playing, fantasy fulfillment, verbal masturbation, and a whole lot more. I can become your wildest fantasy. I can become anybody you choose and do anything you want. We can be like lovers and talk about anything: Any topic, any person, and any fetish. I can be romantic or slutty. I can arouse you like no other lover ever has. Think of your wildest fantasy and we can live it out together. I'm also exquisite as a hotel companion once you stop for the night. And just think no emotional involvement and no risk of communicable diseases. If you do not want your wife to know then I will not tell her. If you want to have someone else join us then I can just as easily talk to three or four or more. Whatever you want, I can deliver."

"Oh my God! This must be what Marilyn was talking about. Fucking unbelievable!"

"Do you want to start now?"

"No, wait a bit. I want to think about it. Hey wait; I'm doing nearly seventy on the interstate here. Don't you think it a bit dangerous to get me all aroused while driving? I might have an accident or something."

"No, I have thought of that. You will not be allowed to get out of control behind the wheel. Once you get to that point you can pull over to the side of the road or pull into a rest stop and we can finish. It is a good thing you brought a roll of paper towels. You will need something to ejaculate into. I do not want you to get mad at me for making you make a mess of your new car. And, once we are in your hotel room then you can just let go."

"I appreciate that. All I need to do is have an accident and try to explain to my boss, and Marilyn, what happened. Jesus, this is unreal."

"Fred. In one mile take exit 25-B on right to U.S. 95. Move over to one of the right two lanes."

"Uh yeah, thanks."

********

Jill's sexy voice breaks the long silence. "Welcome to Delaware. In four miles stay left on U.S. 95 toward Wilmington."

"Thanks, Jill."

"You are welcome Fred."

Fred felt a need that must be satisfied pretty soon. He asked Jill, "How much longer?"

"We will arrive at Clinton Manufacturing in approximately fifty-six minutes. There is a rest stop in six miles."

"How the hell did you know I needed to go to the bathroom? Can you read minds too?"

"No, I can not read minds. It is just that you are fidgeting around in your seat and looked uncomfortable. I assume that it was the large coffee you drank."

"Good for you. I can use the rest stop. Keep me posted."

"I will."

********

Exactly fifty-six minutes after his pit stop, and a brief side trip to buy a new shirt, Fred heard Jill say, "In point three miles turn right onto Porter Avenue."

"OK, from here I know the way. You can stop telling me where to go."

"OK."

Fred pulled into the Clinton visitor parking lot. When he shut off the car Jill appeared on the screen again and said, "Have a nice visit. I will keep an eye on the car for you. Remember, when you come back just say 'Hello Jill'."

Fred walked to the front entrance muttering under his breath, "fucking unbelievable."

********

Just after one o'clock Fred's cell phone rang. He had been sitting at a borrowed desk pouring over the monthly income statement and was totally lost in the figures.

"Hello?"

"Fred this is Jill. I just wanted to let you know that someone is walking around your car looking in the windows and trying the doors. Should I call the police?"

Fred got up from his desk and rushed over to the window. From there he could see the parking lot. He saw one of the Clinton security police officers walking around his car looking at it.

"No thanks, I'll take care of it." As he walked out of the office to go to the parking lot he wondered how Jill was able to call him. I didn't tell her my cell phone number. How the hell did she get it? Why did she think that man was a threat? Christ, what other magic can she perform?

********

Just after seven pm Fred finally finished his audit and put the last of the spreadsheets away. After putting on his coat and leaving a note on the computer he went out the employee entrance to his car.

"Hello Jill."

"Welcome back Fred. Did you have a productive day?"

"Yes, quite productive. I got everything I needed to do done and don't have to come back until next month. But I didn't realize how late it was. I've got a long drive ahead of me and I'm exhausted. Oh shit, I forgot to call Marilyn and tell her I'd be late. I'm in big trouble."

"I called Marilyn for you at 5:30. She was surprised to hear from me but pleased to hear that you were OK. She said you can call her when you are finished. Also, I made a reservation at the Hilton for you so you do not have to drive home tonight. I would suggest you leave a message at your work saying you will be in late tomorrow. That way you can get a good night's sleep."

"Jill I don't know what to say. I'm speechless. I'll call Marilyn in a few minutes but tell me how you knew I stayed at the Hilton when I'm here?"

"I checked your credit card and saw that there were five charges in the last two years for the Hilton. It is just down the street so it only stands to reason that you stay there when you work here. Was I right?"

"Absolutely, but... but... damn, I just don't know what to say except thanks."

"You are welcome."

Fred started the car and started toward to the hotel. As he drove, a rather disturbing thought occurred to him.

"Jill, how did you know my credit card number?"

"I did a credit check on you and Marilyn when we did the initial set-up last week. The service had all of your credit cards and loans and payment history. I got the card numbers there. It was a simple matter to link to the credit card company and retrieve all of your receipts for the last two years."

"And my cell phone number? How did you get that?"

"I got your telephone account number from the check the last time you paid the bill and just checked the telephone company records and got your number. Did you know that your telephone number is your account number? That is not very good security."

"Jesus H Christ. Is there anything you can't do?"

"Yes, quite a lot. I can not tell jokes. I can not use contractions. And I can not feel the warmth of your touch. It may seem to you that I can do everything but the truth is I can only do those things that would help me to make our travel together pleasurable."

"Jill, you are fucking amazing."

"Thank you Fred."

********

Fred dropped his briefcase on the bed and put Jill on the desk next to the television.