The Initiation of a Witch

Great and very original story!!!

Congrats!

As a practicing Wiccan...

To those who have no idea, we do have a ceremony similar to this. It is our Beltane Fire festival. It is a fertility rite. But it happens in mid May.
And the only thing we hold as a secret is our "true" names. Those that know them can (for lack of a better way to explain) gain power over us.
The stroy as a whole is messed up in many different ways. Nothing about halloween. Wrong information as to the ritual. Very limited plot.
to me it doesn't seem like a story but more of a description of a man's twisted exotic fantasy. You want to write a story about Wicca and halloween? Go research Samhain and Erebus then try again....more...

Hmm

Interesting... as someone who is not Wiccan but knows several practicing wiccans this is not exactly... right. Its a little upsetting that someone might actually think this is what happens when you are a witch. (By the way this isn't normal Wiccan ritual) I agree with others in that this isn't about Halloween (despite where it is submitted) rather its about a cheating wife and the author guises it as a ritual that isn't even kind of correct. Also most witches would be willing to share the information or at least point those who do not understand whats going on in the right direction.
I know its just a story but... eh... I expect if you are gonna go Wicca at least don't perpetuate terrible stereotypes. This site is supposed to have better erotic literature than just any other site.more...

The misogynist rantings of a few loons down below notwithstanding, how is the actual story? I'd say it's okay...but it's got one big problem. Here's a question, and the answer (or lack of one) will tell us a lot about what does and doesn't work in this story: Why is the husband in this?

What happens in the course of the narrative? A woman joins the group, does her thing for the prescribed period, goes to the initiation, fucking fucking fucking, the end. So it sounds like our protagonist ought to be that woman; after all, everything that happens is done by her or done to her, and the whole story revolves around her. But then we've also got this husband character around, and he does...actually, nothing at all, if you think about it. Sure he acts, but his actions leave no mark on the story. Were he not here, everything would still happen exactly as it does. He's wasted words.

There are two possible rejoinders, first to say that he's our audience surrogate. However, I'd argue that such a role would be better filled by the wife, who is also a newcomer to the world imagined by the story and would be able to provide not only that outsider's perspective but also a much closer and more intimate look at the action. Second possibility is that the husband's reactions to everything are meant to add another layer to the story; but honestly, nothing he thinks or feels is terribly profound or interesting. Certainly not more so than if any other character were our narrator.

If the story included some kind of ramifications or denouement for him, something he did or some way his life changed or some new perspective he gained from the events in it, then perhaps the character would be pulling his weight. But we're left to, at best, speculate about such things. Right now it's a decent idea, but I don't think it can be called a really good story without either a change in the plot or a change in the narrating perspective. That's my call, anyway.more...

A well done piece of work. Enjoyed the read. There is no doubt it deserves the Five Stars.