The Irreverent Mandy Jack

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Without a job and regular sex Mandy becomes proactive.
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CHAPTER 1

Mandy Jack had another of those useless thoughts: Why had she given up smoking?

For health reasons you useless dope, she sniffed, waiting for coffee. She wished she could have thought useless slut but a guy hadn't popped her for close to a month and so the word slut was inappropriate. Also why give yourself a bad name?

God she was bored. She hadn't found work since returning home fifteen months ago.

No sex was a worry. What was happening? Had she lost her sex appeal overnight or had half the city's eligible males turned gay?

"Enjoy," said the surly waitress, dropping the coffee in front of Mandy. Liquid sloshed into the saucer.

"I'll get your another coffee."

"Don't bother," Mandy sighed.

"I don't drink coffee here," said the waitress with a knowing smile.

What the hell did that mean?

Mandy took a sip and almost spat it out.

It tasted like shit. Er, whatever. Certainly not like top coffee. Ownership of the coffee shop had been taken over by foreigners.

She left the liquid masquerading for coffee and walked out, still thirsty.

The twenty-four-year-old with an MA in Art History (19th Century) eyed the bar across the street, knowing her parents didn't like her frequenting bars... and probably not brothels although that had never been discussed. It scared her witless just thinking about entering one to try the male service or perhaps a female whore if they had any under forty. God their dorm in her final year at college would have made a brothel look like a church, only she had no idea of how much of a cesspit was a house of ill repute.

Conscious that her parents were continuing to fully support her, otherwise she may have starved to death or fallen into prostitution (that may have meant an early death anyway), Mandy ignored the bar and walked down the street for fifty yards before temptation won through. She crossed over and walked up the street and entered the bar.

The bar was empty apart from the bored bartender and a guy at a table.

He called, "Hi gorgeous."

She ignored him.

He tried again. "Hi Mandy."

Startled she turned, recognized him and said, "Hi Harris."

"Buy you a drink?"

"Yes please. Single shot vodka on the rocks."

"Kate?"

"I heard," said the bargirl.

Mandy went over to Harris who rose and kissed her, flush on the lips. So she flushed.

Harris went over to fetch her drink and Mandy recalled who he was, the youngest son of Rev. and Mrs Walsh, good friends of her mother although none of their family ever attended church except for births, deaths and marriages and there had been quite a few of those in Mandy's time in her extended family.

"You're looking great. Who's fucking you?" Harris said, sitting and sliding her drink over and picking up his bottle of beer.

Mandy thought he couldn't have said that, not the son of a minister.

"Same guy who's shafting you," she grinned and was relived he greeted that with a full laugh.

"God you are funny."

Mandy looked nervously at the ceiling. A minister's son saying God like that could produce a thunderbolt.

But none came.

Harris looked up at the ceiling and asked, "Looking for copulating flies?"

"I wasn't aware they did it upside down."

He laughed again and then asked her what she was doing.

"You've already asked who was shafting me."

"No I mean what are you doing to put bread on the table or in your case to clothe your back and finance expensive cocktails, beauty treatment and holidaying in exotic locations with your girlfriends?"

"I returned from college just over a year ago and haven't managed to dredge up a suitable job yet."

"What is your degree?"

"An MA in Art History, 19th Century."

"And none of the private galleries of the city gallery want to hire you?"

"No."

"Because you have insufficient experience and that degree is of no particular interest to them?"

"You're partly right. The reason given for rejection was my lack of experience."

"How did they get experience?"

Mandy grinned. "I actually asked them all that and the replies were similar. When they hit the job market it was in boom times and people were employing, unlike now."

"So who is shafting you?"

"I have been under utilized."

"Oh too bad. You've filled out since we last met some years ago. I can't believe that no guy is regularly plowing your furrow."

Mandy wondered if she'd got it wrong, that Harris' father was not the Rev. Walsh.

"What is your father's occupation?"

"He's still a clergyman. Why?"

"You don't talk like a minister's son."

Harris laughed and said if she thought he was coarse in what he said, she ought to listen to his sisters, both of whom were married. "It's something to do with breaking out from the childhood regime that everything must be good otherwise you must read the bible for an hour or each misdemeanor and/or be birched."

"Truly? In early times artists brilliantly portrayed incidents of flaying and self-mutilation."

"Eh."

"Painting by notable artists of past centuries."

"Oh, I thought you were talking about some of those sickening websites."

"No I wasn't talking about self-gratification of sick-minded people; I was referring to attempted religious redemption through inflicted pain and suffering."

"Wow, I'd never thought about art depicting real life drama like that."

Mandy looked astonished. "Then what did you think those painters were doing whose work hangs in our galleries or is brilliantly reproduced in very expensive books?"

"Painting?"

"Oh god," Mandy sighed.

Grinning guiltily as if conceding he was either a moron or a Philistine, Harris said, "What is your answer to my invitation to a movie and to dinner and then you know what?"

"That seems a big program for one night."

"Eh?" The poor guy scratched through his curly blond locks as if mining enlightenment.

"That was a joke to allow me time to think and what I though was had you actually asked me for a date?"

"I'm sure I did."

"That has an edge of doubt to it."

"Jesus, little wonder you haven't scored with a job. Talking to you is like being put through the Inquisition."

"You know about the Inquisition?"

"I went through school and college."

"Oh I'm surprised. And what is your degree?"

"Just a BA in Fine Arts, Journalism and then an online MBA."

"Oh how fascinating but your studies left you with a big hole in culture and humanities?"

"Eh?"

Mandy sighed and this time Harris lifted an arm and scratched the armpit, obviously feeling uncomfortable at being put through the mill. She called, "Same again Kate and this time bring them over."

"Yes ma'am."

Harris appeared surprised. "Jesus, you motivated that lazy bitch."

"It was simply the command in my voice your Bozo. Her ancestors probably were foot soldiers in England and were honed on centuries of being bullied."

Harris went to say "Eh?" but stopped. When Kate came over with the drinks he asked slyly, "Where were your forebears from Kate?"

"My mother's line came through Spanish settlers in Argentina."

Harris grinned knowingly at Mandy.

"My father's people were very English, some serving in The Crusades as foot soldiers and in wars against France."

Mandy winked at Harris who turned scarlet.

"Why do you ask Harris?"

Harris appeared to swallow his tongue.

"He was telling me he thought you might have Italian or Spanish blood because your skin is so beautiful," Mandy said.

Kate gaped. "Harris you've never paid me a compliment before. Wow."

The bartender smiled at him hugely and walked away humming.

Mandy also smiled. "You appear well positioned to screw Kate you dirty young man."

"Mandy, please," Harris said weakly. "Kate's married to a guy with fists the size of hams."

He was told then he shouldn't say flirty things to married women.

"Eh?"

Mandy told him she was off home and he said he was off to work.

"What do you work at Harris?"

"My maternal grandparents own the Melrose Eagle and I made quite an impact when I joined the newspaper. They recently appointed me editor."

"Good for you. Then you can find me a job."

"We employ contract cleaners."

Mandy laughed and walking off told him to call for her at 7:00 on Saturday evening. "Do you supply condoms or am I expected to bring my own?"

"He re-uses them ma'am," Kate sniggered.

"Good one Kate, call me Mandy in future. I'm Mandy Jack."

"What Mayor Jack's daughter?"

"Yes, my mom has the distinction of that title and my dad owns and operates Jack's Quarries."

"Bye Mandy. My dad is a clerk in the accounts receivable section at City Hall."

"I'll tell mom I know his daughter Kate," Mandy waved.

Mandy was walking home when a SUV drew up alongside her.

"Jump in and I'll drop you off at your home."

"No thanks Harris. I'm walking to try to burn fat off my ass."

Harris lifted up to look out the front seat passenger's window but the sill was too high for him to check out Mandy's ass.

"I've been thinking. Want to work for the newspaper as a freelance columnist writing a column about anything you wish, within reason, for publication on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays going back page of the front section. I'll pay you four hundred bucks."

"What per column?"

"No per week, a three-month contract that could be renewed if you are doing well. We'll need two columns in reserve in case you fall ill or the news editor pulls a column as being unacceptable for our newspaper."

"Oh I suppose I could do that. It means I could take other work as well, doesn't it?

"Only for our company. The payment is for exclusive use of your talents. My instinct tells me you are not without talent to generate and produce interesting columns."

"Damn right and I assure you I pose no risk to your good judgment in hiring me. Now that you're my boss you can't fuck me Saturday night."

"Aw come on Mandy."

"Are you married or engaged Harris?"

"No."

"Then I suppose my stance on sex with you is negotiable."

"Bye," Harris grinned, taking off burning rubber.

Mandy was left flushed in delight and glad she'd not accepted offers to work for either of her parents, telling them she preferred her allowance and living at home at their expense. They knew not to believe her and knew she'd prove an embarrassment working for them because she was so outspoken and lacked personal discipline. In fact there was doubt if she possessed any personal discipline.

Mayor Jack was entertaining five women for lunch when Mandy appeared.

"Oh ladies, this is my daughter Mandy.

Rhonda Jack completed the introductions and invited Mandy to join them.

"No thanks mom. I'll grab a couple of bottles of beer and swim some lengths. You continue with entertaining these fine ladies."

"Mandy please change into a swimsuit."

"Anyone embarrassed by raw flesh should look away mom."

"Ladies, you heard Mandy, She's such a brat. One would think she was fourteen rather than twenty-four."

When Mandy arrived with a bottle of Coke and stood beside the pool, the two women with their backs to the pool stood and turned their chairs around and sat facing the pool and picked up their wine glass.

"God what a body," said Anna, the district attorney's wife.

"I think I possess a memory of my body looking something like that," said Harris' mom Lisa and her mother-in-law beside her said she was never allowed to see her body when she was young.

Everyone laughed and Rhonda was asked what Mandy worked at.

"She's without a job. She has a degree in art history. Wrong choice of degree I'm afraid."

"That's unfair Rhonda," said the wife of the chief executive at City Hall. "She'll be highly educated and all she requires is adaptability. "I'll ask John to place her."

"No she refuses to work at City Hall or our quarries," Rhonda sighed. "She says being a full-on person she doesn't wish to risk embarrassing us in our employ."

"With a body like that I could employ her as our chief model for women with fuller figures," said the chief executive of Melrose City Mall.

The middle-aged women, now with their private thoughts, watched the undressed nubile woman dive into the pool and begin a measured swimming rhythm, indicating professional coaching.

"Oh god, if I were young again," said Marcia, wife of the city DA.

"Amen," said some of her fellow diners who were eating much too much for the good of their figures.

All but two of the guests had department when Mandy completed her one hundred and fifty lengths, thereabouts, according to the clock at the far end of the pool.

She dressed and went over and joined her mom and Harris's mom Lisa and grandmother Marjorie for coffee.

"One of my grandsons Harris could be interest in you," Marjorie said.

"He already is. We met today in, er, a coffee shop. I knew him as a kid and we had a great time catching up. I'm going to work for him as a columnist."

"But we don't employ columnists," said his grandmother.

"Well you do now. I have accepted a three-month contract. He really interrogated me Mrs Allen. I assure you I'm not totally a flighty, in-your-face bitch. I do possess and exercise values that induce people in the know to label me as rather complex character. The reality is I'm just a gal from Melrose whose decided she should just be herself if she wishes to get on in this world and to obliterate her critics by her power and her achievements."

Marjorie's eyes appeared to be spinning. "You said 'Obliterate her critics by her power and her achievements'. That's really strong talk for a woman Mandy."

"I'm up to it Mrs Allen. If you think I'm an unsuitable person to be stirring up the community through your newspaper, despite my using moderate language and clinging to memories of what was judged to be generally acceptable taste, I'll walk away from my contract that I've yet to sign."

"Young woman do that and I'll have you birched."

"Oh you ought not tempt me."

Marjorie, her mother and Lisa roared with laughter.

"Ohmigod," wheezed Marjorie, clutching her chest. "I don't think I've ever met any woman who expresses herself like you."

And so the career of an influential newspaper columnist was launched.

CHAPTER 2

Harris came down wearing a baggy shirt, baggy trousers and scruffy shoes. His mother practically palpitated herself into suffocation.

Lisa gasped, "Harris you can't go out dressed like that. It's Saturday night."

He told Lisa, "Mandy is about as unconventional as any woman you know. She will be dressed in, er, a poncho with boy shorts and white tap shoes."

"This girl is blowing you brain Harris. Be very, very careful."

"Yes mom,"

Mandy came down the stairs and appeared before her mom dressed in a Spandex skintight blue trouser suit under a white jacket and matching blue boots.

Rhonda looked in despair at the stupid young man who greeted her daughter by gaping and said 'Jesus'. God why couldn't men be born with a brain?

As the couple drove off Mandy said, "Could we skip the movie and go to dinner?"

"Er yes."

Eating a curried chicken and rice dish Mandy said sweetly, "Do we fuck after this? I'm eating lightly."

Harris felt his voice was set at the right pitch and said "Yes" and pushed his half eaten steak away.

They went to his office that had a full-width leather sofa.

"Oh leather. Good, your cum leaking from me won't be difficult for you to remove."

Harris coped admirably. "No cum will be leaking from you dearest; I'll siphon it up with my mouth."

"Oh god," Mandy sighed. "I've found a real man at last."

Mandy admired the length of Harris's dick as he hauled it out but gulped when she saw the head on it was about quarter the size of a pot of facial night cream. Oh god, she thought, feeling her pussy quivering, she imagined in terror.

But it went fine. She ended up bent over the end of the sofa screaming for it and when Harris obliged the head of his dick just slid into her because she was oozing excessively after their ultra-sexy preamble.

In Mandy's opinion men were bereft imbeciles when it came to foreplay. But Harris was so passionately into it that at one stage she almost thought she'd climax through her upper mouth. It must be understood Mandy regarded the entrance to her pussy as a mouth because of the interest guys showed in tonguing it.

They fucked themselves to a standstill and went to sleep.

When Harris awoke with the office clock indicating it was 4:00 am Mandy, already dressed, said curtly, "Get dressed and we're off. I don't want your mom to think you were out all night with a slut."

Wondering what was the difference between 4:00 and 2:00 am or for that matter 6:00, Harris did what he was told simply because Mandy looked ready to steam through her nose and whack his ear.

Lisa arrived in Harris' bedroom at 7:00 with two coffees and was surprised Mandy was not alongside him.

"Did you do something wrong?"

"Not according to the way she reacted then I swamped her with two huge ejaculations."

"Harris!" wheezed his mom.

"Oops sorry. I was reliving last night. Mom, she can talk with authority, act with authority and is one helluva fuck."

"I'm sure she is darling. I must get ready to accompany your father to church and sort him out there as he's apt to be forgetful under pressure. I'm so happy for you as Gran and I have wanted you to find a real woman because you tend to be a little wishy-washy."

"Mom when up Mandy I'm feeling like Neil Armstrong walking on the moon."

His mom, rather embarrassed with her son talking to her so candidly gurgled, "Oh darling, you're such a clever boy finding her " and fled, not hearing Harris say Mandy had actually found him.

Mandy awoke not long after 10:00 and felt a little stiff and sore, the welcome legacy from being in action again and doing the thing she'd appeared on earth to do. Long may it last! She wriggled in delight at the memory of having Harris's dick shoved into her mouth and then when he began puffing and twisting around and groaning she'd raked her teeth sharply around it and along it until whacking against the collar of his huge cock head and he shot two huge streams down her throat. The poor guy, looking a little like death warmed up, fell over, his strength almost totally drained momentarily.

She almost bleated at the though of him attempting to get that thick-ended cudgel up her ass. No way. Absolutely. Now that he'd fucked her Mandy thought she'd like to position herself so she got that treatment from him at least once a day.

Mandy's parents usually wallowed in sex on Sunday mornings so they'd not been long out of bed when she arrived for late breakfast to find they'd waited for her.

"This guy you were out with last night," said her father sternly. "Why didn't he come in for us to get a good look at him?"

Her mother appeared to be awaiting the answer although pretending not to be interested.

"He knows you both so was a little embarrassed at coming in, knowing what he intended doing with me."

Greg scratched his head. "What's embarrassing about going to a movie unless it's triple-X rated?"

His wife sighed, "She means having sex afterward you fool."

Mandy's father pulled his thumb and forefinger down his nose as if preparing to attack. "Are you sure you should be talking sex to your parents Mandy?"

"Yes because it would be quite wrong with you two thinking it's something exclusive to you. I'm sorry to be the person responsible for destroying that delusion."

She could hear her mom behind her stifling a giggle.

Her father rose to his full height of six three and splayed his elbows, making his shoulders appear enormous.

"Pull your beer gut in if you want to imitate a He-man dad otherwise you appear pathetic."

Greg looked quite hurt but brightened when Mandy said, "You still look in pretty good shape dad. I still remember how you dwarfed the fathers of my school friends and when you visited college how many of the girls thought they'd like a piece of you."