The Irreverent Mandy Jack

B B: You mentioned hair harvesting of genitalia?

Mandy: Yes.

B B: I mean is that suitable to be printed in a family newspaper?

Mandy: Yes. There was an editorial debate about publishing that column at which I was not invited to attend. Two spare columns were on hand if substitutes were required. As it turned out sense and maturity won the day and my column was published without anything being changed or deleted. There are brave and thoughtful people in editorial on the Eagle.

B B: Mandy, this has been a most interesting chat but we are almost out of time. What are your plans for editor Harris Walsh?

Mandy: To assist developing him into a strong, effective editor in any way I can. He's only twenty-eight and fairly new into the job. But I'll say he's given me practically a free hand to write on anything I wish and to say anything I wish, er, within reason. Older editors wouldn't have the guts to take such a risk.

B B: What I really meant was marriage.

Mandy: At present I have no desire to marry but I'll marry him if he feels the need to propose marriage.

B B: Thank you Mandy Jack, the sensational columnist writing each Monday, Wednesday and Friday in the Melrose Eagle.

Mandy: You left me feeling comfortable all the way through. Thank you B B.

Lisa stood ready to go out and make coffee. "Well what a surprise. Your Mandy presented herself as a thoughtful, mature and thoroughly pleasant young woman. My earlier impression was she was sailing close to being sluttish.

"Oh mother. You know I wouldn't let the family down."

"Bring her to dinner Saturday night son. We should be recognizing her as your partner and the fact she wants you to marry her."

"If you'd listened carefully that's not what she actually said but thanks dad. Is that okay with your mom she comes Saturday?"

"Yes of course. Invite her to stay the night. I'll make up the guest room for your both."

Desmond felt compelled to pontificate. "Um that's underpinning acceptance of sex outside of marriage Lisa."

"Shut up and move into the 21st Century darling."

"I'm a man of the cloth."

"And I'm a mother who wants to see her son happy in a relationship that we recognize and accept, even if it's outside of marriage."

Rev. Walsh sighed and said. "Yes dear. If I can't handle the unrest in my flock about this I'll turn Mandy on them."

On Saturday night Mandy was rising and falling thoughtfully, impaled on Harris' dick and riding Cowgirl.

His face bloated by the delicious feeling of having all highly sensitive areas within his body afire and almost ready to fire a salvo Harris asked, "What are you thinking?"

"That there has to be more to our relationship than sex if we are to keep going."

In panic Harris reached up and squeezed Mandy's flying tits, drawing a big "Ouch" from her.

"Squeeze, don't try to rip them from my body."

"Sorry. A large number of my journalists can't believe the Melrose Watergate feature we published today could have been written by you, an untrained person off the street."

Mandy creamed him, hugely, and fell off but finished him off with a tightly clenched fist.

"Wow," he puffed, as the dazzling red, green and yellow lights in front of his eyes began to fade.

"We have to build a circle of friends that are not from the newspaper and are not Rotarians," Mandy mused.

"Okay but how?"

"We lease a cabin in the woods and befriend people up there with time on their hands."

"Grandma will buy me one."

"No, we do this independently Harris. We join the mixed gym and attend together."

"Not a bad idea."

Encouraged, Mandy said, "We go to ballroom dancing classes and when up-skilled we'll entered competitions."

"Jesus."

"Okay so we begin attending church."

Harris wondered how that came up.

"I'll enroll at cooking school."

He agreed with that.

"We join a ski club."

Harris said, "Now look here. Social life has to have limits otherwise we won't have time to ourselves."

"Oh I was coming to that. Your features editor has commissioned me to write a two-pager for the Saturday features section and pay me at my current rate."

"What seventeen fucking hundred dollars?"

"Yes darling, unless you wish to increase that."

Harris sighed.

"I've also been speaking to your grandmother. She's taken a real liking to me. I suggested the newspaper company ought to be supplying its editor with a furnished apartment and she's talking to your grandfather about that."

"Mandy not way will I..."

"Darling if the apartment is near the office you can come home for lunch. Perhaps you could eat while having sex?"

"Er, you have some brilliant ideas Mandy. I'm glad I found you."

"Oh found me did you? God you men claim anything that you think is good."

Mandy took a call while soaking in the bath. Harris' parents were out on missionary work. She yelled, "That was your grandmother Harris. She wants us over for lunch today. Any objection?"

Harris groaned, "That means they've accepted your proposal to dish out money on us."

"Harris please don't think negatively like that. They are investing in us and investing in quality real estate."

He rushed into the bathroom in a polo and shorts. "You are not to write a column about the productive use of grandparents."

Mandy reached up and pulled him into the bath on top of her.

"No but shaft me Harris. I'm thinking of writing a column about how to give your lover innovative sex around the house."

"Ohmigod," Harris groaned but unable to stop himself rising to the occasion.

THE END