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- COMMENTS
JonATaylorover 11 years agoPeople once did talk that way and this is clearly a period story, not modern times. The dialogue enhanced the romance between the two, dripping with tease and innuendo.
Anonymousover 11 years ago"It is just I who made it out in safety." Really? We're supposed to believe someone speaks this formally in this setting? How about, "I'm the only one who made it," for example. Or, "There were seven of us, I think I'm the only one who survived."
Anonymousover 11 years agoHis name is previously stated as 'Demetrius' and hers as 'Francesca' -
Para 11 - "Nodding his head, "indeed, Kimberly, it has been a long time since I have had the delights of a good meal" - from where did Kimberley come?
Para 13 - "mmm" he let my enjoyment fill the small hut, "so sweet. Thank you" - "He" let "My" enjoyment?
Anonymousover 11 years agokimberly or francesca?
come on, one paragraph apart.
just sloppy.
