tagNonHumanThe Journal of a Connecticut Yankee Ch. 04

The Journal of a Connecticut Yankee Ch. 04


Authors Note: Few things to go over before continuing on- please note that this chapter does contain violence, murder, drama and death. Also sex too, just in case you forgot you were on Literotica. (Gotta cover all my bases here.) If any of these things are offensive to you then please do not continue on- you have been duly warned. Also, this story takes place in the MGE universe- there is a Wiki for it if you do not know what that is and if you are a new reader please refer to the first 3 chapters before reading onward.


January 20th.

"One, two, buckle my shoe."

Made sure the spikes were secured in the ground.

"Three, four, shut the door."

Grabbed some brush and branches to cover the mouth of it.

"Five, six, pick up sticks."

Checked to see if it looks too obvious.

"Seven, eight, lay them straight."

Now for the assholes.

"Nine, ten, begin again... "

The screams of The Order pricks as they fell into my deadfall trap signaled that the damn thing actually worked. They had been chasing me for the past few weeks now. Since I killed that priest and Inquisitior and had that little conversation with Colonel Faith, they've been crawling out of the woodwork tryin to get me.

We were playing a fucked up game of cat and mouse and I thought I would have had an advantage by using the walkie talkie that I got from the priests bag. Yeah, that didn't work out so well, the clever fucks started speaking in code. Thanks GI Jane...

By the way, sorry I haven't written in so long. But as I've just told you, I've been a very busy little bee. New Years Eve was a bit of a bust as you already know, New Year's Day was pretty much the same. A few fun facts about this place: a year here is longer than 360 days. It's 421 to be exact and no one actually celebrates the coming of the new year. Must be an Earth thing.

Also do me a favor, kind readers, assuming there are any actually out there reading this. If you hear anyone talking shit about how movies- especially action movies -don't teach anything, punch them in the face for me. Because my little trap was inspired by one.


I didn't go back to check, I didn't care if anyone died, I wanted them to know that I wasn't screwing around. That if they came after me, they were taking their lives in their hands, I was playing for keeps.

You don't have to say it, I already know. I was changing, becoming more brutal, that I was never a killer before. You know what? You're absolutely right, but being in this kind of situation tends to change a person's mind set. You try sleeping for a couple of hours a day at most, little to no food- tired, hungry and cold, people shooting arrows at you, being hunted like a damn animal and I promise, you'll end up exactly in my same shoes.

At the end of the day, it wasn't just my life on the line, if GI Jane and her goons got the nuke, then others would die too. So call me a monster, call me a killer, someone no better than the bastards hunting me.

I won't argue, nor will I give a rats ass. You know what I call it? Surviving.

Some of you may also be asking why aren't I using Winona. Well fact is, while my other significant other might be unparalleled at taking fuckers out, she's also quite noisy going about doing it. I didn't need everyone and their Kobold to know where I was at.

And if some of you remember the Garland that I got outta Romie's dad's tank, yeah that was a fail. I tried it back in Wonderland before we left. Powder was too old, so I left it with mom in-law.

Wasn't mine anyway and I know she appreciated one more momento of her husband.

I snapped Rudolf's reins and we were off again, day by day getting a little bit closer to our destination. Romie still hadn't returned from taking the Raiju girl to Wonderland. Everyday, every night I hoped and prayed that she was ok. That she would just suddenly pop into my lap like the crazy little Cheshire she was. I had to believe. It was one of the precious few things that kept me going.

Rudolf flicked his ear and let out a soft neigh as if telling me it would all be okay. Smiling, I gave my boy an affectionate pat.

Now, if I may take some time out from my lovely little feel good tale to answer a question some of you (that is if anyone is or is still reading this) may have: How the hell did you ever end up with a horse named Rudolf?

Well there's a funny story behind that one. You see, a long time back, it was my first Christmas out and about in this dimension. I was feeling a bit homesick, sad and depressed, so I did what any other person would do- hit up a bar.

I get in there and there's a whole bunch of these Dark Mage chicks drinkin and bullshitting in the corner. They invite me over and I end up drinkin and bullshitting with them. As time goes by, however, they all start getting pissy looks on their faces. I ask what's up and they tell me they've been trying to cast charm spells on me for the better part of an hour and nothings been working.

So, in my alcohol fueled brilliance, I jump up on top of the table and tell them it's 10 gold each to cast a spell on me- give me their best shot. Everyone gets to take a turn and whoever's spell works- gets me and the money. If no ones works then I get to keep the money.

Well long story longer, they all agree. Coins get tossed, booze gets drank, spells get cast and I end up with a crap load of gold. The mage chicks on the other hand, they ended up all passed out at the table with probably the mother of all hangovers in the morning. But then again, mages can't drink for shit- they each had like 3 beers.

The next day, fresh as a daisy, I hit up the local stables. Bought me a horse and named him after Santa's favorite reindeer in celebration of my first Christmas on this little slice of heaven.

That, my friends, is how I got Rudolf.


January 25th.

Another day, another mile. Cept they don't use miles around here. Not even kilometers, take that metric system! They don't want you here either.

The sun had just set. Didn't encounter anyone today. I doubt they gave up, GI Jane didn't seem like the type to throw in the towel. Especially when it came to getting her hands on a thermonuclear weapon.

I didn't get it. If the military was all up in here, balls deep as she said, why the fuck did she really care about Big Boy? I mean he's a tiny little thing compared to what they got. Besides I'm sure they have tons of Big Boys brothers and sisters hanging around anyway. Shit, I remember reading that there's enough nukes on Earth to blow up the planet like fifty times over.

Something was up. There was a big ol' piece of the puzzle that I was missing, if the military really was here why not just use tanks or fighter jets? More importantly, how come I haven't seen or heard of any 'strange' (aka 21st century) things flying or rolling around?

Too many questions, too many speculations and not enough answers.

I set up camp and a small fire. Just enough to rest for a moment, maybe warm up a little. Something to cook a bit of food, been so hungry, so tired. It's hard to think straight sometimes. Adrenaline only gets you so far, keeps you aware and awake for so long. After a while the ol'bod gives you the middle finger and you crash. I couldn't afford that, not with them on my ass.

There might not be such a thing as instant food here, but what Martha gave me came damn close. Rice, beans and dried meat with spices all mixed together in a sack. Just throw in a pot, add some water and boil. Someone give that Kikimora her own cooking show, please!

Give Stewart a real run for her money.

A snapping twig pulled me from my weary musings as I grabbed Winona and aimed her at my uninvited guests.

An older man in his 40's stepped out of the brush, followed by a younger woman with straight black hair in her 20's holding hands with a young tweenish looking redheaded girl clutching onto a big porcelain doll.

The guy had sandy brown hair and some scruff on his face showing that he hadn't shaved in a few days. His clothes were slightly dirty but looked well made, high-class. The same went for his companions (maybe family?) as they all came into view. He had a short sword that was sheathed, good for him cuz I would have shot him otherwise.

"Are you with The Order?" He asked bluntly.

"I'm with myself." I replied sarcastically as I really didn't want to deal with anymore bullshit today.

My answer seemed to throw him off as he scrunched his face in confusion.

"Please good sir, we are travelers such as yourself. Might we rest with you for the night? It is too dark to continue on and the woods here hold many unknowns." The woman beside him practically begged.

The guy looked sternly over to her as if pissed, while she returned his glare with a soft pleading smile. It worked like a charm too because he sighed, as if defeated, and added,

"If you would be so kind?"

Well they didn't look like Order soldiers or Inquisitiors or... whatever. And I doubted GI Jane employed kids, at least I hope she didn't. As fucked up of a mood I was in, a small spark of kindness in me whispered to let them stay.

Chewing it over for a moment, I finally shrugged and replied, "Yeah sure. More the merrier."

Holstering Winona, I watched as the trio settled themselves around the fire. I vaguely remember praying to myself, hoping that they weren't going to jump me or that those Order bastards weren't planning on jumping us all en masse.

Formal introductions were made. The guy was James Helton former, but in his eyes -still, Baron of some place called Riveroak. The woman with him was a nanny named Nivie Desmona and the kid was his daughter, Lilly Helton. Oh yeah, and the creepy looking porcelain doll was named Jenny.

Seriously, what kind of name is Jenny for a doll?

They weren't exactly real forthcoming with the details as far as why they were walking though Sherwood Forest here, but from what I was able to gather from all the conflicting details- the guy was depositioned by The Order and going to his brother or something for help. I didn't care too much, I was just interested in the grub heating up in my pot.

Then I found out that they ran outta food... God damn it.

So Chef Donnie here had to cook up another helping of Martha Mix, only this time for the whole family. I swear, I better be getting extra credit bonus karma brownie points for all this.

As we all ate, Nivie chimed in a question,

"Where does your travels take you, Mister Donnie?"

"Just call me Donnie, and I'm headin west. Goin to visit a blacksmith friend to see if she can help me out with something." I said before spooning another helping of Martha Mix into my mouth. Sure as hell beats out Hamburger Helper any day of the week.

"A woman blacksmith? That is very queer... She's not some kind of monster is she?" James grumbled with a scowl, between bites.

Sigh, time for some good ol fashion PR work.

"Nah, she's totally human. Big ol' butch looking chick, could bench press a horse if she wanted to. Don't worry about it, she's totally, one hundred percent human."' I sputtered off, just to reassure Mr. Belvedere that all was right in the world.

He nodded, satisfied with my answer, "Good, while we are no friends of The Order, those monsters will not gain any favor from us either."

I cocked an eyebrow at him and droned, "Yeah, no... those monsters... bad folk... bad, bad folk..."

Who says that everyone who works in PR is a bunch of liars? Oh wait...

He gave me a weary smile as he finished with his food. All the time during our conversation, out of the corner of my eye, I could tell that Nivie was staring at me. Not in the - she's checking me out, staring but in the - we gonna have some words later on, staring.


Once again, my spidey sense was tingling. That chick wasn't who or what she said she was. Don't ask me how I knew, I just did. Probably that damn radioactive spider bite that I got a few years back, acting up again. Yeah.

At least they had tents, which they set up soon after dinner. James was the first to excuse himself to his own, while it seemed that the nanny and the kid shared another. Lilly didn't say much, either she was the quiet type or... well I'd rather not dwell on what the 'or' part was.

She did thank me for the food and had Jenny thank me as well. Yeah, even on a full stomach, that doll was still creepy as fuck. Afterwards they both crawled into the tent to go to sleep.

That left just Nivie and myself...

She stared at me from across the fire, finally she broke our mutual silence by saying,

"I want to thank you. I'm glad that we found someone so friendly to us in this wilderness. As well as someone who leans towards a particular... type"

"Mmm," I said noncommittally as I poked at the coals of the fire with a stick. Guess she was able to smell Romie on me as well as figuring out that I knew her little secret.

"I take it you cast some kind of deep sleep spell or something on them both?" I asked, pointing my burnt poker towards the two tents.

She smiled at my deduction,

"They are not used to traveling so much. The walking takes its toll on them and they need as much rest as can be afforded."

I nodded and took a sip of water from my canteen. Made sense, they were nobles after all, not exactly the kind of folk that regularly hit up a 24hr Fitness.

"Mage? Succubus?" I asked, curious.

Her human form shifted and faded away, leaving a half-naked, blue skinned, red and black-eyed, pointy eared, winged Mamono in front of me.

Fuuucccck, yep that's a Demon.

Well, shit. Those gals were big time players in Grandma Maous army. I wondered what the hell this one was doing way out here in bumfuck nowhere with some noble guy and his kid.

"You're not afraid."

"Should I be?" I retorted.

"Only if you wish to do harm to my love and his child," She bared her teeth to me.

"Hey, live and let live, right?" I said with a small smile and shrug.

She stared for a moment then returned my smile as replied, "You're a very odd individual."

"Why that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all week. But yeah, I get that a lot. I'm not exactly from around here."

"And where are you from?"

I met her eyes- red irises framed by pure black sclera. Inhuman, frightening yet seductively beautiful. I suppose that's why they were so feared by so many.

"A little place called Earth."

"Never heard of it. Is it far away?"

"Something like that." I smirked sadly as the irony of the question was almost too much.

"Just married." Statement, not a question. Nancy Drew here was pretty good.


"Pity," She sighed, "My sister would absolutely love you and if I wasn't otherwise attached, I'd probably just take you for myself." She added with a grin, showing off her pearly whites again.

"Cheers for monogamy then," I said ruefully, raising my canteen up in salute before taking another sip.

"Pity," She repeated with a chuckle.

"That blacksmith is really a Mamono, isn't she?"

"Yep, an old friend from back in the day."

"A Human that's friends with Mamono before they are married?" She blinked in disbelief, putting a hand on her cheek, "My, you are quite the odd one!"

"Why do you say that?" I frowned while mindlessly poking at the fire.

"Most Humans don't associate with Mamono until after they are married to one. As you know there is a certain... stigma regarding us. It takes marriage to erase that. Let me guess, your wife is either a Cheshire Cat or a Mad Hatter?" She asked teasingly.

"Why exactly did you name off those two species?" I questioned suspiciously.

"Because they usually go for the crazy ones."

Ouch, that one actually hurt- alot.

"I'm not crazy, just a little... different." I mumbled, grumpily turning my head away.

Not that I was embarrassed for some reason or anything.

"Please, don't misunderstand me. I did not mean it as an insult. It is your open-mindedness that makes you seem crazy to most of the people here. To us Mamono it is quite a refreshing and attractive quality."

Well, when she puts it like that, it didn't sound so bad.

"Are you sure you wish to remain monogamous?"

God damn it, really?

"Yeah, I'm good, thanks."

She sighed and glanced fore-longingly back to the tents containing the nobleman and his daughter.

"Tis a shame we could not have met earlier..."

For some reason her words echoed though my head as a strong sense of deja vu enveloped me. I remembered someone else saying something similar to me. But where? When?

I reached a hand up to massage a dull ache forming in my temples. Well at least I wasn't hearing voices this time around.

"Something wrong?" She asked concerned.

"No... just... I think someone once said something just like that to me. I just can't remember."

"That's certainly no surprise. What is shocking is the fact that you don't have throngs of us after you." She said with a grin.

"I did have a Succubus on me for a while, she didn't get the fact that no means no." I said thinking back to that crazy bitch Katrina.

"Oh my dear, 'no' always means 'yes' to us," She stood and looked back to the tents.

" ...Even if they don't know it yet." She mumbled.

Spoken like a true rapist. That's nice. Really, really nice, in a To Catch a Predator kinda way. Just need Chris Hansen up in here...

"Alrighty then," I said, clearing my throat, "I'll take first watch and wake you 4 hours?"

At least I was guaranteed a few hours of safe sleep.

"Oh there's no need, I've casted a ward around us, we shall be unbothered until the morrow." The Demon said dismissively.

A magical spell that guarantees a safe good nights sleep? Wished I had one of those...

"...Handy," I remarked, trying to keep the sourness out of my voice, "I'll see you all tomorrow then and uh, good luck on..." I gestured to the tents, "Whatever it is you got going on there, I guess."

"You have my word, James will be happy. It may not seem it, but he has a good heart. It just needs some guidance. As for Lilly, she will have the mother that she both needs and desires. They have been through many ordeals, suffered much pain... it will take time to heal." Her voice choaked up a bit as she said that.

A part of me was curious as to what their story really was. Another part told me it really wasn't any of my business, I had my own shit to deal with.

"Thought you Demons were all into corruption, depravity and all that other crap. Not at playing Mary Poppins."

A spoon full of demonic energy makes the medicine go down, kiddies.

"Then it would appear that you're not the only odd one in these woods. Good night and luck on your endeavors as well, Donnie." She walked to the smaller one that held the girl.

"Oh and one last thing?"

I looked to her questioningly.

"Please do relay a message to your wife from me? Tell her that the Demon Nivena says - she's a very lucky woman and that if things were different, she would still be looking for a husband..." She smiled mischievously as her eyes glowed faintly before her form shimmered and changed back to that of a human. Crouching down, she quietly entered the tent she shared with her young companion for the night.

"Sure..." I said under my breath as I looked up to the nights sky. For the millionth time, I prayed Romie would come back soon. But 8 hours of sleep, that was a true treat for me. Maybe someone up there is watching out for my dumbass.

That morning we said our goodbyes. Before she left, I slipped Nivie or Nivena or whatever the fuck she wanted to call herself a bag with some food packets from my supply along with a little sack of gold coins. Maybe it would help them with whatever they had going on or get them to where they were going.

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