The Journey Ch. 02

Katarina woke the next morning warm and comfortable, and then she remembered what happened. She was slightly disoriented when she felt someone beneath her and a heart beating right under her ear. Her eyes snapped open and she looked up to see Brian's face. It was he whom she was lying on so comfortably. She felt gratitude for the man as she watched him sleeping peacefully. Then she paid attention to her own body. The intense pain from the previous night had gone down immensely. She only felt a slight discomfort. Her private area also didn't feel like it had the night before, she was very glad she no longer ached in pain there. Katarina stretched sleepily then nestled her head back down on Brian's chest. Brian woke then and brushed his fingers along her cheek. She looked up at him with her soulful blue eyes that melted his heart.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

"Much better, thank you for staying with me." She said and broke eye contact, blushing a little.

"It was the least I could do." He said softly.

They both just laid there. Neither wanting to break the physical contact that brought such comfort to them both. But Brian knew he should go, even though he didn't want to.

"I should let you rest in your own bed." He said while sitting up and bringing her up with him. Katarina nodded and Brian picked her up and carried her to her bed. It was then that she noticed that he had redressed her in comfortable clothes, and that she wasn't wearing a bra anymore. She blushed furiously and tried to hide it. Brian noticed and apologized. "I took the liberty of making you more comfortable. I didn't think that sleeping in your good clothes was very comfortable and I didn't want anything else to add to your discomfort."

"It's all right. Thank you for being so nice to me." She said softly.

He set her down on her bed and his arms lingered around her for a moment longer than was necessary. He placed a slip of paper with his name and number on her bedside table. "In case you ever need anything." He said. "I am glad that you feel better, your injuries are very small and will heal quickly." He paused in the doorway of her room. He inclined his head to her in a small bow then let himself out.

....

Over the next few days Katarina healed. Physically she was almost back to normal. But mentally she was still a little unsteady. Almost every night she had nightmares that had her waking in a cold sweat and tears in her eyes. After a few days of this and her friends and coworkers asking if anything was wrong she decided call Brian.

"Brian? It's Katarina." She said when he answered.

"Katarina hello!" He said; glad to hear her voice again.

"I was wondering if I could see you sometime." She said meekly.

"Of course." He could tell by her voice that she was troubled but decided not to pursue the issue over the phone. They set when they were going to meet then hung up.

Brian picked her up at her house the next evening. He took her to a nice quiet restaurant where they talked about everything except what was wrong. When they were leaving Brian took her hand and asked quietly. "Katarina there is something bothering you. Would you like to tell me?"

Katarina nodded and looked up at him sadly.

Brian squeezed her hand. "I'll take you home."

When they got back to her house Brian waited patiently in the living room while she changed out of her dress into comfortable clothes. Then she came in and sat opposite him. She just sat there for a moment, looking down at her tightly clasped hands.

"Katarina, tell me what is wrong." Brian said, even though he knew.

"Ever since....that night a few days ago." Katarina began shakily. "I haven't been right since. I'm constantly thinking about it, and I have nightmares every night. I feel like I've been shattered on the inside." Then she began to cry.

Brian quickly went to her side and gathered her in his lap. "You have been shattered, little bird. That's what he wanted to do. Shatter your will and possess you. But he didn't possess you and the pieces can be put back together. You feel like you can never trust again and you'll never be yourself again. You feel that because of what he did to you the things that made you, you have been torn away, leaving jagged little fragments of who you used to be." He tilted her head back and looked into her eyes as if he was seeing into her very soul. He saw her realize what he was saying as the tears began to slowly trickle down her cheeks. He gently wiped them away and cradled her. "Oh sweet little bird, you may feel broken but those pieces can be put back together again. Will you trust me and let me help you heal?"

She looked up at him with her soulful eyes and he saw the faintest change in them. "I can try?" She said softly.

He pulled her close so her head was resting on his chest and he rested his cheek against the top of her head.

"Trying is very good. Trust me Katarina, and I promise that you will never be hurt like that again. I will protect you."

Katarina lifted her head to look at him and saw his promise and love that he could not hide reflected in his eyes. "Ok. What happens now?"

He thought for a brief second then smiled.

"How about a movie? You choose, and I'll go make us some tea."

Katarina smiled and went to choose a movie as he went to make the tea.

"What are we watching?" He asked as he came back with two mugs of tea.

"The Phantom of the Opera." She said with a smile and settled into the couch.

He sat next to her but not too close, he wasn't sure how much she was ready for yet, and he felt a bit awkward.

Katarina snuggled into the couch after she had finished her tea. Brian very much wanted to pull her close to him and snuggle with her. But he stayed in his spot. He wasn't really watching the movie anymore but watching her out of the corner of his eye. He watched her lips move as she silently sang with the music. He smiled. She was stretched out a bit resting against the arm of the couch. One of her feet barely touched his thigh. He made a decision and lightly placed his hand on her ankle. She sighed and he felt her foot rest against his thigh completely. The skin on her ankle was cold to the touch.

"Are you cold?" He asked.

She nodded.

Brian motioned with his hands and grabbed a blanket. "Come here." He said softly.

She sat up and cuddled into his arms. He tucked the blanket around her then wrapped his arms around her while stretching out to his full length on the couch. She was lying on the couch sideways while he was on his back. Her head rested on his chest and she sighed, almost in relief. The movie was just over halfway and she was finding it difficult to keep her eyes open. Katarina finally gave in and closed her eyes, sighing deeply, and she fell asleep.

Brian had watched her fight the losing battle with sleep and was smiling now. He slowly disentangled himself from her and stood up, taking her gently in his arms. He carried her to bed and tucked her in and smoothed the hair back from her face. He tenderly kissed her forehead, then went back to the living room. He turned off the movie and made a bed for himself on the couch. Brian was worried about her being alone tonight. He knew that she was thinking a lot about what had happened. Brian was determined that she wouldn't have to think about that ever again.

....

Brian woke with a start sometime later. He was only slightly awake so he was a bit dazed. But he snapped wide awake when he heard her.

"No please, please let me go. No, no please! Don't!" Katarina cried out.

He was in her room and by her side in an instant.

"Katarina wake up." He said firmly and gently shook her shoulder.

Katarina cried out again then sat up as she woke. She was breathing heavily and was a bit confused. She was shaking, and then she began to sob uncontrollably.

Brian gathered her in his arms and held her close.

"Shh it's all right." He crooned. "It was just a dream. You are safe here with me."

She clung to him tightly and sobbed into his chest. He made a quick decision, a way he knew would comfort her. He stroked her hair and in his beautiful deep voice he began to sing.

"Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation

Darkness stirs and wakes imagination

Silently the senses abandon their defenses."

He sang to her "The Music of the Night" from The Phantom of the Opera. He knew that it was her favorite song from the musical. By the time he finished the song she had calmed and quieted.

"Do you need to talk about it?" He asked quietly.

"It's the same every time." She said, her voice trembling. "Everything that happened to me replaying in my head."

"Tell me what happened in that room, every detail. Let it all out."

Katarina told him everything that happened from the moment she had met the Dom. She was crying softly when she finished. He held her a little tighter and his jaw was clenched in anger.

"Oh God, the way he touched me." Katarina cried into his chest, almost hysterically. "I can still...feel his hand there and how it hurt! Then the crop! I have never felt anything that hurt so badly! I...I told him things, fantasies I had, before this happened. I think he took some of those fantasies as things I wanted, how could he misunderstand so much! I can't bear it any longer! I'm not who I used to be, and he's killed who I was, I don't know...I don't know!" She made to move away from him and start pacing hysterically.

"No, no, no." Brian said softly and brought her back to him again. "Hush, don't think like that. I promised you that you will be better again someday. It just takes time and gentle healing. He cannot and will not hurt you again, little bird, I will see to that." Brian knew he needed to show her what a kind Dom was like to get this one out of her head, but he also knew she wasn't ready for that yet.

He lay down with her cradling her close.

"God to sleep now, I'll be right here, you will be safe."

Katarina had exhausted herself crying and it was very late. She easily fell asleep with him at her side.

He sighed deeply but couldn't sleep. His mind was churning with thoughts on how to help her.