The Key to Night Ch. 02

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"Did I want to be turned into a vampire?"
1k words
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Part 2 of the 6 part series

Updated 06/07/2023
Created 06/07/2010
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When she looked back, she gasped in surprise at who she saw. It was Lucas Callian, the leader of the Hunters himself. She pulled herself as straight as she could and growled, "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Lucas just leaned against the door frame and continued to look her over, not even bothering to reply.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare at me all day?" Shantae asked after a few moments went by. "Don't you have anything better to do, like kill off more of my kind?"

At hearing these words from her, Lucas started to smile. "No, I think right here is where I need to be."

"And why do you think that, O'Mighty Hunter? Have you added me to some outrageous plot to kill the people coming to rescue me? Well, if you have, I have a news flash for you, no one will try to get me from your Hunters."

Lucas looked at her in a startled surprise. "Strange that you have said that because I have two bargain offers to get you back, one for each day after you were found gone." Saying this he started closer after nodding to the Hunter that was standing in the doorway. The door swung shut leaving the room in almost complete darkness. The only source of light to be found was coming through the top of the door.

Suddenly the lights switched on and she was released from the silver chains that had held her against the wall. In the flash of an eye she was up and going after Lucas. He caught her around the throat and pushed her back to the wall. "We have something in common," he said, "we both want this war over and done with. I'm offering you a chance at being a part of either the bringing about of peace or the end of your kind."

"What does this have to do with me? I have never done anything to hurt you or your Hunters, even when I was forced to hunt," Shantae whispered as she turned her head away.

"I'm going to let you go if you promise not to attack me," he said, waiting until she nodded her head before releasing her. "What you said is the exact reason why I chose you. Ending this war is the only way we won't have to do what other people tell us to. Yes, contrary to what you and yours think, I am not the complete leader. Not yet, anyway," he said looking down at the floor. "So are you in or not?" Lucas said staring her straight in the eye.

Pacing around the room, she thought. "I need to think about it some more. I have to time to decide. Can you do that for me?" Shantae asked him quietly.

He nodded his head as he walked to the door, "Yes, I can, but I have to caution you that there isn't much time left. I will give you as much time as I can. By the way you should eat," he said pointing to the bowl of blood, "either way you are going to need your strength. There is nothing harmful in it, but there are some vitamins."

"I will do what I can," she said as the door once more closed, locking her in.

She sat down near the wall and slowly drank her food. She almost instantly felt stronger. Sighing, she leaned back.

~*~*~

Shantae went on many dates with Merrick. All of them had been the most wonderful nights of her life. She had learned so much about him, and he about her. She was beginning to believe that he was the one. The one that all women look for but few actually find. He was like a dream come true, everything she had ever wanted. He made her feel so beautiful. She was going on another date with him tonight. He said that he had a surprise for her and she couldn't wait to find out what it was. Usually she didn't approve of them, but coming form him it was going to be awesome.

She held the green gown in front of her, then switched it with a tiny black one. The black one set off her violet eyes, but the green one set off her flaming red hair. Finally decided, she slipped the green over her head and finished dressing. She had just put on her high heels when the door bell rang. She opened it, and found a dozen of black roses handed to her.

"You remembered! Thank you so much, they are so beautiful. Come in while I put them in a vase," Shantae said stepping back and going to the kitchen.

"Of course I remembered your favorite flower. What do you take me for, some sort of buffoon?" Merrick called from the living room with a laugh. Shantae came into the living room carrying her new flowers and set them on the center of her coffee table. As she went to get her purse, he pulled her to him and looked down into her eyes. "You look wonderful tonight, Shantae. I can't wait to show you my surprise," he said, giving her a light kiss on the cheek.

Shantae quickly grabbed her purse so that he wouldn't see how flushed she was. "I can't wait either," she said leading the way out of her house.

~*~*~

That was the night Merrick had turned her. That was her big surprise, that he wasn't human, but a creature of the night. He had slipped something into her drink so that even if she didn't want to be changed, it was no longer her choice.

Her mind was made she knew what to do now. Thinking back had helped her to make her choice. She stood up and walked to the door. When she turned the knob, it just swung open. Shantae hadn't walked twenty feet outside the cell door before Lucas was beside her.

"Have you decided, then?" he asked, grabbing her arm.

"I have decided...to do what I can to help you and your cause," she said jerking away.

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canndcanndalmost 14 years ago

Again, the plot is very interesting. You can go far with this. First, I think you need to do longer chapters even if it takes you more time to put them out. This took 2 minutes to read. I was left with too many questions. What war is going on? I think you should have told the story in detail of how Merrick turned her. You are good with details. Keep putting lots in to draw the reader in. You do put good descriptions in. Also, what was he really asking her to do? How can she say yes when she has no details. You could have used her asking what he wanted as a chance to explain what is going on between the hunters and vamps. Keep writing. You have lots of promise. It is a great start.

TheGryphonsOnFIRETheGryphonsOnFIREalmost 14 years ago
Still to short...

... but MUCH better content wise. Please try to fill out your world a bit more with better descriptions (I have the same problum though).

ajm1250ajm1250almost 14 years ago

I'm in total agreement with denverjohn

denverjohndenverjohnalmost 14 years ago

These chapters are really short could you make them any longer. Great start to a great read other wise. Looking forward to seeing where you go with this.

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