The Latticed Gate Ch. 05

Lacy was sitting on the couch in Elle's living room when she heard the key in the lock of the door. She looked up expectantly as Elle entered appearing out of breath, disheveled and overwhelmed.

"What's wrong? What happened?" she suddenly stood and approached her with concern.

The tears immediately began to flow from Elle's eyes, but she merely shook her head.

"Oh, no you don't, come sit!"

"I need to shower, Lace, I don't want to talk right now..."

"What did he do to you, Elle?"

"Nothing..." she frowned.

"He did something! You didn't leave here looking like this! Did you guys have a fight?" Lacy pressed.

"Lace! I don't want to talk about it! I'm tired and I just want to take a shower and go to bed!" Her face was puffy from crying and she appeared quite worn.

Lacy backed off as Elle disappeared into her room.

Taking off her dress, Elle couldn't stop crying. She felt dirty and abused, but it was the shame that was mentally playing havoc. He actually had put a belt up her ass and she had gone along with it, not that she had much say in the matter since her wrists were cuffed to his bed, her stomach-down and her legs spread wide for his sick pleasure. That he had offered her a choice, making it seem like it was her desire to be so abused sent more tears streaking down her face. She suddenly covered her face with shame recalling how her body had responded and how much it had turned her on which spurred a sudden onslaught of memories from her past that surged into her consciousness; memories that she had spent a lifetime trying to excise.

As she took off her bra, she turned the water on in the shower and let it pour over her. She thought of the two faces of Jake; one that could be pleasant and kind, even gentle at times and the other seeped deep in a state of twisted disregard for women. She had recognized that darkness in him the day he fucked her outside at the gate, yet she had allowed herself to be pulled into his web of dominance and abuse. The added insult was that by knowing what she knew, she couldn't blame anyone but herself no matter how cruel his particular proclivities.

She shivered as she thought about how he had wanted to whip her. It was more than she could handle as it aligned and attached to a slew of childhood memories of torture and abuse.

Recalling the cool leather as he provocatively slid it over her ass and how her body had tingled with desire unlocked a door of desolation into a space where she had long ago imprisoned her personal demons to an indefinite sentence. Now, her interactions with Jake had swung that door wide open and like Pandora's box, everything was flying amok with no means to stop the course or inhibit it in any way.

Exhausted, Elle leaned her back against the shower wall. Obliterated with emotion, she slid down until she was seated on the floor, the water continuing to shower over her and she wept.

* * * * * * *

Lacy stood outside Elle's closed door. It had been three days since the night she came home from her date with Jake. Lacy had tried to get Elle to talk to her, but she had shut down and now she was concerned. Elle was sleeping way too much, and sometimes Lacy overheard her crying. When she tried to nudge her into conversation, Elle would slip into a blank stare towards the ceiling. Something was seriously wrong. She tried to get her to go out, to get up and walk around, any activity, but Elle simply remained in the bed, only rising to use the bathroom. She hadn't eaten, barely drank any liquids and this morning she was looking a little emaciated.

"Elle," Lacy said as dire concern filled her countenance.

Elle lay motionless in a fetal position, the covers wound tightly around her.

"Please, you can't go on like this...I've run you a hot bath, come on, let me help you?"

Lacy watched the covers shift as Elle turned and looked up at her with deep empty eyes. Lacy grabbed her hand and pulled her up into a sitting position.

"I'm thirsty," Elle hoarsely whispered still appearing quite haggard and tormented.

"Okay, I'll bring you some water, go get in the tub, you'll feel better."

Elle nodded resigned. Lacy went to get the water.

When Lacy returned she was relieved to see Elle in the tub, her body completely submerged, her eyes closed.

"Here it is," she offered and sat the glass down in a corner of the tub. "Soak for awhile and when you get done, I'll wash your hair and brush it."

Elle nodded once again. Lacy gave her some privacy and went out to the living room and plopped down on the sofa and gazed blankly at Elle's painting of a man undressing in front of a nude woman. She couldn't help but think that this image had somehow been influenced by Jake, that bastard! Fucker! He had been calling day and night. Every time Lacy had answered she immediately hung up on him until he had pestered her so much, last night when he called she just yelled into the phone, don't call here anymore, Jake! Thank God he got the message and she hadn't had to hear the incessant ringing this morning.

The doorbell rang. Elle's elderly neighbor had borrowed Elle's iron this morning and Lacy assumed she was returning it. She opened the door and suddenly found herself staring into Jake's face. With his dress shirt and slacks, his badge and cuffs on his belt, his gun tucked into his shoulder holster, it was evident he was on duty.

"Get away from here," she hissed like a viper.

"She left this at my house," Jake said as Lacy looked down at his now extended hand and saw Elle's purse. So that was why Elle had used the spare key to get in that night.

Lacy snatched the purse from him as he stared at her, his beautiful face now appearing quite fatigued. He appeared as worn as Elle. What the fuck had happened between these two?

"Lacy..." his tone was remorseful, "I need to see her...I need to talk to her..." his words begged.

"You're fucking crazy if you think I'd let you get within twenty feet of her, let alone face to face!"

"Why are you running interference?" he suddenly spouted.

"Because she's my best friend, you dick, and you did something to her and now she's..." Lacy caught herself and stopped mid-sentence.

"She's what?"

"Leave, Jake!"

"No...not until I've talked to her...not until I've seen her...I don't expect you to understand..."

Lacy cut him off. "...you're right, I don't! Nor do I want to!" She suddenly slammed the door in his face quickly locking it. He rang the doorbell like a fiend, only to start banging on it like the police.

"If you don't leave, I'll call your boss and tell him that you're harassing us!" Lacy yelled through the door. He continued bamming. A fucking lunatic! "I'm getting the phone right now, Jake," she yelled as she grabbed the mobile phone off a table. She waited. The beating suddenly stopped. She tipped to the door and listened, she could hear footsteps moving away. Thank God!

Going to the balcony that overlooked St. Anne Street, Lacy looked down at the street below and watched Jake exit the gate. Fucker, she muttered just as his head turned in her direction and he coldly glared at her. Chills went through her body. Evil was all over him and she realized, with lucid clarity, something really bad had happened to Elle.

* * * * * * *

As Lacy brushed Elle's hair she was reminded of their days at UCLA. Elle's hair was beautiful. Dark and shiny, straight and long, it was one of her crowning glories. Even when everyone had followed the short-hair styles, Elle never cut hers except to trim the split ends. It was that hair, a beautiful mane that men got all caught up in, figuratively and sometimes literally. When they'd look at her, sex in their eyes, it was that hair they envisioned their fingers running through as they hoped to attract and retain her desire.

As Elle sat on the edge of her bed, Lacy made long brush-strokes through her hair.

"Do you feel better," Lacy asked.

"Yes...thanks Lace."

"Jake brought your purse back..." she said cautiously monitoring her reaction.

"My purse?" she seemed confused until she suddenly pushed Lacy away as if she had suddenly recalled. "He was here?"

"I sent him away, Elle!" She watched Elle as her face which had contorted now relaxed.

"How did he look?" Elle inquired with almost a look of concern.

"Like he's had better days...I had a mind to kick his ass, the bastard!" she bolstered.

"It's not his fault he's who he is...a snake can't change his nature...it's my fault for thinking I could handle him..."

"What happened, Elle?" Lacy's eyes begged for an answer, an honest one, but Elle's eyes merely softened as her forehead wrinkled.

"It was my fault, not his. It's over now," she softly said almost melancholic only to climb into bed. "I need to be alone, Lace...I'm tired," she said and pulled the covers over her.

Lacy walked to the door of Elle's bedroom.

"Lace?" Lacy turned around. "I'm glad you're here..."

"Me too. I'll check on you later."

After Lacy exited the room, she could feel her internal rage rising like a torrent of shooting flames. She was pissed. Seeing her friend so vulnerable and so broken when that was totally the opposite of her character made her want to scream! No, correct that, it made her want to fight; and one target loomed large across her mind's eye! Detective Jake Chevalier!

* * * * * * *

Jake was seated at his desk and had just finished typing a police report when he looked up and saw Lacy walking straight toward him. She looked angry; angry enough to make a scene. He immediately stood.

"You and I need to talk," she said determined, "preferably where it's quiet!" she emphasized quiet. He nodded and directed her downstairs and out of the building. They walked in silence towards a grassy area behind the building that had benches surrounding a fountain.

"Is Elle okay?" he asked.

"How dare you even pose that question!" she hissed.

Jake sucked in his bottom lip while his eyes went tight with guilt, a frown creasing at his forehead. He had never wanted to hurt Elle, he simply got carried away.

"Why did you put your stain on her? Why did you have to dirty her?" Lacy asked, tears welling in her eyes.

Jake thought about how he had fucked Elle that night and what she had obviously now told Lacy. Until he met Elle nearly a month ago he wouldn't have given a shit about hurting a woman. He had been doing it for so long it had become second nature. But how Elle had reacted affected him, it left him feeling minimized in a way that tore away at what little good still remained in him.

"What did you do to her?" Lacy demanded.

Jake's eyes tightened. Maybe Elle hadn't told her anything. Still, he knew! Knowing made him dissect himself; and what he saw was one flaw after another which fucked with his state of mind. Elle had made him take stock of who he had become, a demented fuck that couldn't rectify the pain of his past with his present.

"You can't answer?" Lacy asked incensed. "Are you all of a sudden deaf and dumb?" she lambasted. "She was one of the good ones, Jake!" she yelled.

"You don't think I know that!" he snapped back. "Fuck! I know! I messed up! If it makes you feel better to come here and tell me that, then go ahead, but I think I'm doing a pretty good job of tearing me down at the moment! She was the one and I screwed it up! I'm very much aware of that!"

Heavy emotion appeared to overtake Lacy's face and Jake watched as the tears streamed. He guided her to one of the benches and they sat. He knew things were off kilter with Elle, but seeing her best friend cry, his concern for Elle lodged tight in his veins.

"Lacy? Is she okay?" his anxious voice questioned.

"No, Jake, she's not okay! She's been sleeping since she came home from a date with you! Three days! She won't get out of bed! She won't eat, she'll barely drink, she's emaciated and she won't talk to me! And you did that!"

He felt a hard knot rise in his stomach. He knew she was right. He was the responsible party. His brain had gone over every detail of that night since it happened and as he broke it all down, recalling the things he had said, the things he had done, what kept coming back and anchoring in his mind was his dominance over her and how she had repeatedly tested him with her willfulness and defiance forcing him to push her harder than he had expected.

Thinking that she understood their roles, he hadn't offered her any recourse.

In his past he had done things to women far more severe than anything that went on that night with Elle, but afterwards hearing her words repeat in his head, you'll never know how to treat any of us, he quickly came to the realization that when it came to women's feelings he had become numb; completely desensitized. They had become mere objects that he could make forfeit their bodies and their carnal desires to his command. In his usual circumstance, he wouldn't have seen anything wrong in that. Willing partners, consensual sex, rough sex at that, was the hand he dealt with no remorse, until three nights ago when Elle had to pull his own gun on him to get away from him.

"I need to talk to her..." Jake gazed at Lacy, his eyes pleading.

"Hell, no!"

"Lacy, please? I won't upset her..."

"She said it was over with you..."

"Yes, it is and I will respect that, I just need to try and make this right, if not for me, for her...?"

* * * * * * *

Jake was seated in a corner of Elle's room. Lacy had made it clear she didn't trust him and had left her bedroom door open as she went back and forth from the apartment to the laundry room downstairs where she was washing.

Jake just sat there and watched Elle sleep, her body still, her hair draped across a pillow. He could have easily fucked her. There was no sign of strain on her face, she appeared peaceful, docile and it easily brought him a rise. He couldn't stop imagining how good it felt when she sucked his dick and were it not for the fact that she was so angry with him, or that he had hurt her and needed to make amends, he would have easily took his dick out of his pants and pressed it towards those sweet lips and give her a nice wake-up. But it was no longer about him and what he wanted. Elle had affected him. She had been a small ray of hope for him; being with her made him feel like he could move beyond the life he had cultivated for the last seven years and start new. She had made him feel again.

Elle shifted in bed. Suddenly, one of her long, slender arms slid from under the covers and reached for the water on her night table. She took a thirsty gulp and put the glass down, only to lie back down and pull the covers back over her.

"Elle?" Jake said.

Suddenly, Elle sat up in the bed and gazed in the direction of his voice. Fear jetted across her face and she pulled her body up into a ball and scooted as close as she could to the headboard.

"Please don't be afraid..."

"How did you get in here?"

"Lacy's here..."

"She let you in?" she asked in disbelief.

"I promised I would not get out of this chair. I need to say some things to you..."

"What?" her voice was testy, her demeanor suspicious.

"First...that I'm sorry."

"Do you even know what you're sorry for, Jake?"

"You were right! I'm fucked up...and I have been for a very long time." He couldn't believe how easy it rolled off his tongue. He wasn't accustomed to speaking out so honestly about himself, or doing so with a woman.

Jake watched her facial expression change from caution to surprise to curiosity.

"I wasn't always this way...I wish you had known me before. You were very perceptive about my dark side...in the last two days I've had to face it and I can't say what I see is very likable."

Offering an honest assessment of his life, it was clear to him that she had been the catalyst to bring such an admission out into the open.

"The women I've been with have no meaning for me...and in truth, I think it's the same for them. We fuck each other. I dominate over them, excite them and fuck them, and sometimes, most of the time, they want me to hurt them and I do. I will admit that I find pleasure in making them feel pain as much as they like receiving it. End of the story. We part happy. And that's the way it's been for the last seven years...until I met you.

Jake heard the short gasp that exited her mouth.

"Why are you telling me all this?" she asked, her face both puzzled and confused.

"What happened the other night...I hurt you...and I scared you...I like dominating you and watching you submit to me, but I didn't like seeing fear in your eyes... "

Suddenly they both looked up as Lacy popped her head in the room. She looked at Elle and then to Jake and back to Elle.

"Are you okay?" she asked Elle. Elle nodded. "I have some work to do on my computer, I'll be in my room, yell if you need me." She quickly cut her eyes at Jake before disappearing. He chuckled.

"You have a fierce friend there."

"I know," Elle said lifting a brow. "What happened seven years ago?"

Jake shook his head. "It doesn't matter..."

"No Jake, it does matter. You tell me you're fucked up, that you fuck women who want you to hurt them and you like hurting them and making them feel pain and that you weren't always like this and you wish that I met you before you came to be like this...it matters, Jake! What happened to you?"

Jake remained silent. Memories of his past flashed in front of him, a time when he had loved with all his heart, committed his life to one woman and how a singular tragic incident nullified everything he had once held as good and true and sent him spiraling into a dark hole whose matter pushed him so deep to the other side, only fleeting remnants remained of the person he had once been.

"Was it your wife?"

"She was in a head-on collision, massive brain injuries. She was on life support for three months before she died." Jake's face turned rigid and tense. "I was looking for documents the hospital needed when I uncovered her journals. Years of them."

Jake suddenly went silent, his demeanor tight.

"And?"

"She had cheated before the marriage, at the wedding and during the entire marriage with people that I knew and worked with and with others I didn't know...she engaged in sex acts that even I haven't done!"

He watched Elle suck in a breath as she seemed to wrap her mind around what he had told her.

"After she died, I would remember arguments that we had, things that she said to me..." he suddenly stopped and bent over in the chair resting his elbows on his knees, clasping his head in his hands. It had been a long time since he had talked about his marriage. Suddenly, he looked up at Elle. "When she was pissed off at me, she'd call me an ass."

Elle sucked in a heavy breath.

Jake watched her rise from the bed. Dressed in a white nightshirt and nothing on underneath, she approached him. She took his hand and led him to the foot of her bed and they sat. Suddenly, she wrapped her arms around him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry!"

Jake peeled her arms off of him and gazed at her intensely hard.

"She was a slut! And every woman after her...until I met you."

All of a sudden Elle understood. His dark ire, his cruelty, his anger, it all made sense. That he had come to her on his own free will to make amends spoke volumes. He had sat down and removed his exterior walls and dropped his guard and had honestly shared with her his history and at that moment he felt more real than he had ever felt. She only wished he had shared it with her in the beginning, it would have made getting to know him so much easier.

He tenderly grabbed her chin and brought her face to his and softly kissed her.

"Elle...I know I hurt you, but you were sending a lot of mixed signals that night...