The 'Ler Guide

Introductions

Dear readers,

I've searched google many times to find out information about our little fetish. It is certainly a challenge, let me tell you this. To explore this whole new world of tickling is no easy task, when the information is scattered about forums, and blogs.

I thought to myself, heck I'm a writer. I can read. Why not write a bloody information thingy myself? So here it is. Hopefully it's as helpful to you as I wish for it to be.

Enjoy your tickles.

To The 'Lers

So there could be a million reasons why you are reading this little how-to-guide. You may be a 'ler looking for some interesting new info. Hoping that something new will pop up in this booklet. In which case I do hope I provide some interesting new insights.

You might be a regular person who has just found out their partner has a tickling fetish. If this is the case then you are in luck! :) This guide will take you through everything :) It might interest you to know that throughout the human race, tickling has been a social bonding activity and is considered the highest grade of social play. To different degrees for each individual- tickling can be pleasurable socially, intimately, or playfully. In this sense it is very much like any other intimate interaction.

Consider massages for example: some people find them relaxing and share this activity between friends, while others find it arousing and include it within foreplay. Nibbling on the ears: Some people find this completely intoxicating and they lose all ability to think, while others find it uncomfortable and invasive. Tickling may sound like an odd thing to be aroused by, but it's really quite a simple sensation pleasure which just so happens to be less commonly enjoyed than others.

Normality and Violation.

Ok, don't freak out when you read the words ' physiology' and ' scientific fact'. This is a very simple guide, however, I have delved into the science behind tickling a little bit. If you just want to get to the juicy bits- skip this section. However, it may prove helpful to understand how and why people are ticklish, scientifically.

This is an important little fact to know. The physiology of laughter and tickling tells us that the response (laugher and squirming) is a combination of touch that is a violation and touch that is perceived as normal. Many people who are not ticklish, are only so as they sense no violation in the contact they are feeling. For many people, they need to perceive some kind of playful threat/ or attack, in order to feel the violation/normal touch combo.

Tickling itself is a combination of feeling 'touch' and 'pain' together. The body reacts in a way that tells your subconscious- "get away or you might get bruised". Hence the squirming and struggling response. However, when a person truly believes there is no threat within this kind of contact- then they only feel it as "normal" touch. Without the crucial combination of the two, a person would not be ticklish.

Now before we get ahead of ourselves, the paragraphs above only apply to one kind of tickling. Gargalesis: refers to harder, laughter-inducing tickling, and involves the repeated application of high pressure to sensitive areas (1)

The type of tickling needed to satisfy a 'Lee will depend on each individual. Play around with your 'lee and you will discover if they need high pressure tickling- or light touches. Also remember that this is a grey area. Some 'lees will want light and hard tickling in different places on their bodies. Some will want you to alternate between these touches in the same place. Experiment.

On another note, is it considered that we as humans began squirming from tickling, as a way of teaching our bodies where our weak points will be in combat. Once again- this scientific fact brings us to the notion of violation/violence. After all, there is a reason people call it- "tickle torture". ;)

This in itself explains why some people find tickling to be painful though. Everyone is different. And for some people they do not feel any normality in this kind of touch- they only feel the violation and the pain. So for those of you who are too ticklish for your own liking... the sad news it that overexposure is key to getting less ticklish. Overexposure gets a person used to that sort of touch. Eventually it is viewed as normal... and the more a person is tickled the more normal it becomes.

This is also why a lot of people experience becoming less ticklish as they get older. The 'touch' sensation becomes normal. They feel less of a threat. However, this is not true for everyone. How you 'perceive' the tickling touch (normal/violation) is completely a mental thing. You're mentality can be altered based on past experiences affecting your perception, mental training/ alteration of thought patterns... and some would even suggest hypnosis.

Now all this information above is facts from various websites I've researched. I've pieced certain things together and came to my own conclusions in regards to a way to become more/ less ticklish. I know for certain this is the way to become less ticklish. there is plenty of evidence to suggest that. However, by way of becoming more ticklish- note that changing your perception and thought patterns on the subject are not an overnight task.

Also to substantiate my point further- a hell of a lot of people here would agree... being blindfolded enhances the experience. This is because when a person cannot see where the contact is coming from, it enhances the unpredictability of the touch and therefore the feeling of there being a 'threat'. Threat = violation.

Now it's just a matter of figuring out how to change your thought patterns and create present situations to alter you perception of tickling over time. :)

The mind frame

Gosh where to start. This is really a job for both the 'lee and the 'ler. However i'm writing this guide for 'lers- (in the interest of all the 'lees out there) so here's a few things that the 'ler can do.

Imagine I said to you: Hey I'm going to fuck you really hard tonight. Imagine I said this throughout the day. Teasingly. Sexually. Longingly. Threatening. Imagine every now and then I just slipped it into conversation. (Or that an attractive male was saying it to you)

By the end of the day most people would be horny as hell- more so than if I had said it the second before doing it. Because the thought of it has been stewing and running through their minds all day. They have become worked up about it.

You're ticklish. So fucken ticklish. I'm going to attack your poor little toes tonight. I'm going to squeeze and wriggle across your ribs. You're going to be tickled shitless tonight. You're inner thighs are mine, you ticklish brat. I'm going to have the soles of your feet begging for mercy. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle. Tickle.

Tease and taunt your 'lee throughout the day. Whisper threats of tickle attacks into their ear. Describe where and how you will tickle. Use the word tickle often. Slip it into regular conversation. For example: imagine you're out to dinner and your 'lee is looking through the menu- the waiter is standing by the table... there are people near by on other tables talking- people who are well in ear shot- and you look at your 'lee cheekily, with a knowing grin and say, "does the steak and veggie dish TICKLE your fancy?" Really emphasise the word tickle here. It's a neat little teasing trick to slip the word in to regular conversations. And only your 'lee will know what you are really saying.

Getting a 'lee into the right mind frame will determine how much they will enjoy the session AND how ticklish they will be throughout the session.

ASK QUESTIONS. Generally a 'lee will have a fantasy. They might know details like what they want to wear, how the want to be tied down, what toys they want to use... what things they want said. Before a session- dont be afraid to ask for the specifics.

A person's mind frame can be set up if you say the right things in the right way. You can ask a 'lee if they have any idea about what they want specifically. Personally- here are some things i'd like to hear (as a 'lee)

"Does that tickle?" (said while looking amused at the giggling 'lee)

"I'm going to tickle you until you cry now"

"i want to tickle your toes and watch you giggle"

"if you don't stop giggling, I wont stop tickling you"

"It's amusing how weak and ticklish you are"

"dont make me tickle you"

"I'll tickle you if you don't admit to (insert things here)" "I got you exactly where I want you, you ticklish brat/bitch/weakling."

"Here's a ticklish spot- right here...... feeling helpless now?"

"Now someone is getting a little tired, tickling too much for you cutie?"

"If you can't handle being punished, then you shouldn't moan so much and make me want to keep going"

"I love watching you squirm underneath me"

"keep laughing, i'm not going to stop"

"Now that's funny, you are soooo ticklish"

"put your feet here sweetie, and keep them still"

"why should i stop when you clearly love it?"

"ok sweetie put your feet on my lap and try to keep them there"

"I love how ticklish you are, it's entertaining."

"Gottcha ribs"

"Kootchi kootchi koo"

"What's happening here? I'm not doing anything... yet you seem to be wriggling...and giggling... I'm just running my fingers over your sides...."

"I'm going to tickle the fuck out of you."

Language is one tool to get a 'lee in the right mind frame. However, there is also a visual side to tickling. Personally, I know that whenever a guy wriggles his fingers in my direction threateningly- I feel a nervous shiver run over my most sensitive places. There's no harm in playing with visuals such as this.

Try walking up to your 'lee and wriggling your fingers in her direction threateningly. Slowly walking closer and closer while the 'lee backs away nervously. Combine this with some verbal teasing and the 'lee will become very nervous.

These two tools- verbal and visual help to heighten the anticipation of violation/threat when the sensations begin. Remember that the reaction towards tickling is caused by a combination of violation and normality within the touch sensation. Creating a better quality tickle can be as simple as heightening the 'lees perception of a threat. Obviously though, don't scare them too much or else it will become unpleasant.

Tools beyond the mind

Okay, so now that I've basically covered the metal ways to stimulate a good tickling... it should be said that it's not totally a mental reaction. The physical sensations play a large role in creating a good tickle. The question is: how complicated can tickling be?

It may surprise you, but quite a few people don't know how to give a good tickle. Tickling someone can be easy if you want a short little giggle... but for a 'ler it's not about a tiny giggle. For a 'ler it's about really getting that poor defenceless 'lee good. Tickling them like they've never been tickled before. And in order to do that- there are a few things that should be noted.

The first tool a 'ler will ever use is their fingers. It's the only tool they always have on hand. (No pun intended ;) Now there are two types of touch which cause a tickling reaction. Scientifically they are named and labelled below.

Knismesis and gargalesis

Two types of tickling. Gargalesis, as mentioned before, is the kind of tickling where pressure is applied to sensitive spots on the body. Knismesis is the kind of tickling which is very gentle and causes a tingling sensation across the skin.

Now i've noticed generally that a lot of people are really good at one kind of tickling, and not so much the other. I am unsure of whether or not this is due to the fact that they have not been exposed to the variety of tickling techniques- or if they are just unable to produce a different touch style- but either way a good 'ler should be able to do both.

Gargalesis is usually applied to the sides, hips, ribs, stomach, thighs, arse, underarms and knees. Techniques are squeezing, pinching, rough finger wriggling, poking and digging. It is important to experiment with the movements and kinds of touch you use throughout a session. So try alternating between these techniques to find what works best... and keep the 'lee guessing about how you're going to touch him/her next.

Knismesis is generally applied to the feet, ankles, thighs, legs, backs of knees, back, neck, ears, sides, stomach, underarms, arse, and other more intimate regions. People use either their nails or their fingertips to gently travel across the skin. It's important to note that the more gentle you are the better the effect. Touch the skin so that the victim is barely being touch... but just enough to cause a reaction.

It's important also to play with speeds. Start of slow and then speed up... then start all over again. This helps to keep the victim guessing what you are going to do. If they cannot predict the movement of your fingers, they will feel more of a threat and this stimulates the violation sensations.

Another bodily tool which can be used is the mouth. Blowing raspberries, using your teeth or your tongue can be a powerful tool. It is common to lick and bite gently on the toes of a victim to cause a reaction. Scraping your teeth over the soles of their feet or blowing a raspberry on their neck can cause a very intense sensation on them. Experiment with various places and spots on people, remember that everyone is different.

Tools are important as they mix up the sensations.

Tickling needs to be varied as much as possible as a 'lee could become less sensitive in the one spot over time. Keep it moving; even if you need to find a new place ever two seconds. However, watch the 'lee's reactions too. Sometimes the one spot can be torturous if you get the right place ;)

Below is a list of commonly used tools for a good tickling session.

Hairbrush (on the feet) Baby oil Restraints Ties and rope Toothpicks and guitar finger picks Pens

Stockings

moisturiser

Warm damp towel

Feathers

Now I could cover all of them and explain how they could be used, but that would take way too long. So here are a few explanations.

Baby oil /moisturiser /warm wet towel.

These are commonly used on the feet. Wrapping a warm wet towel over the feet can soften the skin after a few minutes and cause them to be much more sensitive. This is recommended if you plan on using your mouth on the feet later.

Baby oil and moisturiser have a faster effect. Possibly a more intense effect also. The slippery wet softening of the skin causes a very very sensitive surface. Nails can be scarped along the feet after this and almost always cause a bigger reaction.

Hairbrush/ toothbrush/ forks

These three items, when used on the feet with baby oil are DEADLY. Some people will complain that it becomes painful when these are used. This however, is only because for some people- the 'violation sensation' becomes too high with these tools.

However, if the violation sensation is not heightened too terribly- watch out poor defenceless 'lee! This is a very strong sensation indeed and can drive your victim crazy.

Feathers /pens / guitar finger pics

The feather may or may not work on your victim. This totally depends on what kind of stimulus they respond to. If it does work- then flutter that feather away. If not... the feather can be good to gently run over the skin anyway. Just to make the area more sensitive. If you warn the 'lee that this is what you are doing... then they will become nervous from the contact.

Using the other end of the feather, using a pen or finger pics can be good on the feet also. The slightly sharp contact on the feet would send a signal to the brain warning of possible harm to the body. Warning that something could cut through the skin. But as this sensation is combined with a degree of 'normal' sensation as well, it causes the tickling response.

Side note: Feathers on the clit can be a crazy tickle tease :P

Positions to enhance sensations

Now it is common knowledge that if the 'lee is blindfolded the sensations are heightened. This is because it enhances the 'violation sensation'. Not knowing where the 'ler is going to strike next is a threat to the body.

One position which works well is to have the 'lee lying face down on their stomach. Don't be afraid to sit on their legs or on their bum to keep them down. Tickle them senseless while they can't more or can't see.

Many 'lees may have a favourite position or bondage arrangement that they prefer. Whatever tickles their fancy to enhance the perfect normal/violation levels for them. Everyone is different. So ask your 'lee what they would prefer specifically.

Another thing to note is that blocking other senses can heighten sensations as well. So ear plugs/muffs, blindfolds and gags may be helpful in doing this. Whatever makes the 'lee more vulnerable is generally the way to go.

THE 'LER'S ROLE

It's important to remember at all times that the 'ler WANTS to tickle and watch the 'lee squirm and giggle. He/she cannot be the one who is not in power. And it's important that all things said/done are driven from the desire to tickle.

I want to note this because a lot of non-fetish ticklers who try to act as a 'ler for their partner mistake erotic tickling for sex. If the 'lee can see that the desire behind the tickling is stemmed from a craving for sexual pleasure- then they are less threatened by the tickling. Because they have no reason to believe the 'ler truly desires to tickle them.

Think of it as a role play. Instead of wanting sex- you want to tickle this victim senseless. No ifs or buts, that is your only desire for the session.

It's also important to note that some lee's will want the 'ler to be both ruthless- yet kind. Some people can perceive erotic tickle torture as a gentler form of bdsm. So perhaps play a little bit of master/ tickle slave.... Be kind- but merciless in the tickling.

Or once again, depending on the person, your 'lee might want you to be all out ruthless. Below are some examples of ways to be ruthless yet kind- if you want to be totally evil and not kind at all- just use the examples below and tweak them to your liking.

Ways to portray the character of the 'ler

1. Be amused at the 'lee's struggling and helplessness and giggling

2. pretend to be initially surprised that the 'lee is ticklish at all... seemingly oblivious to the torture they are causing. This gives the 'lee a thrill to think that the 'ler might actually be oblivious and might not stop.

3. act like you are enjoying the fear and utter helplessness of the lee

4. start comforting them and speaking gently to them while you torture them with your tickling.

5. saying things that deliberately embarrass the 'lee without insulting them. such as-

* "admit you like this"

* "did you just moan?"

* "oh don't tell me i found the only little girl who likes having her toes being played with"

* "i will stop only when you say, "tickle me master".... "

Note also that verbal teasing is very important in the role of the 'ler. They are in control of everything including the conversation. You can't really expect someone to giggle and laugh AND carry a conversation- so work under the notion that they will be doing minimal talking.

Types of 'lers

In my personal experience, there are three types of ticklers. Types of ticklers are a product of experience. They know what works on them, and they do it to others. But it doesn't always occur to them that tickling may be different for different people.

SHY TICKLERS

Ok, this isn't exactly what it sounds like. This does not mean that the tickler is shy about what he or she is doing. However, they are shy to apply pressure. They generally graze