The Libertine Bubble Pt. 01

"Who, doesn't do attachment, to things?"

"Weren't you listening? Toby doesn't."

"Oh. Hey, she's playing again. She's really good!"

"No attachment to things? Does that mean no attachment to, people?"

"Well, she's obviously attached to her father and, she helps sick, bloody people in a hospital."

"That takes a special kind of person Ms. Charlotte.

"It does Roberta. I like her. I think, I think she would make a great friend."

"Sure Char, and you guys could be like, friends with benefits."

"For goodness sake Slut, would you just shut up?"

"So Toby? If you had the time to buy food for yourself, what would you eat?"

"Indian or Tai take-out, usually. What do you like to eat?"

"Oh, just, what's in my fridge. You know, stuff to munch, apples, oranges and bags of easily digestible liquid protein for Sean."

Toby nodded, glanced at Sean and continued to strum along.

"What about your vocation Charlotte?" asked Toby, "How is it you bring home the bacon, as they say?"

You mean, bacon treats. Yep, this is where Char gets speechless again. Can Charlotte lie? She can, when it's practical. Eventually, under the weight of Toby's anticipation, Char said:

"I'm, I'm a, taste tester at a pet food kitchen."

We, as her family of alters, were baffled by our little Char's unanticipated honesty. She usually tells strangers she's an accounts payable person at a beer distributor. Toby raised her brow and started to say something like "really" or "that's seriously gross," but restricted herself to a respectful:

"Wow. Well, all the happy little kitties and puppies need safe and tasty food to eat, right?"

"Uh, yep."

"Wow. So, what else is in your refrigerator to, you know, eat?"

Oh I liked this. sexy guitar hero started fucking with our little Char Char.

"What, what do you mean? You don't mean, I bring home, my work? Seriously? Food, is in my refrigerator, I'll have you know, Ms. Guitar Hero Tobiah Lynn Pakenham."

Okay. Now that one was a lie. Not totally a lie, but still a lie.

Toby smiled, and then gave Charlotte an amused side long glance.

"What?" said Charlotte with perhaps just a little too much dismay in her tone.

Toby shrugged, peered conspiratorially down at Sean, and then said to him:

"Come on Sean. Give me the scoop. Mommy has like six cans of this cat food she tried out at work chilling in the fridge because it is a delight better sayvored cold. Am I right?"

Toby returned her gaze to Charlotte, who was very vividly abashed.

"Oh shit!" Said Toby, suddenly flushed with shame, "For real?"

Just as Charlotte prepared to start tapping against the base of her throat again, she realized that she'd stopped. Then, after a pause, she said:

"So we're gonna go now. Thanks for the song. It was nice meeting you. Good-bye."

"Wait!" said Toby as Char turned Sean's stroller about, "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to offend. It's just, I thought, I mean, can it really be that good? I mean, I just thought they, you know, tested it out on rats! I mean, that's very, humane and all. I'm certainly for humane."

Charlotte stopped and, fuming, turned to face Toby and said:

"Test it out, on rats!?! Is that what you think I am, a lab rat?"

Toby scrambled to her guitar stand and, as she took her guitar off and set it in its stand, allowed us a clear back door glimpse of blondish brown whisker biscuit. Then, running back to Charlotte, she said:

"Oh my God, no! Charlotte please, hold on. I'll try some, okay? Let me come over and try some. Hey, do you, do you feed it to Sean."

Charlotte stared at Toby, wide eyed and mouth agape, just before she let herself out of the apartment. Toby was purring with laughter as she followed Charlotte to her door, where she stopped and folded her arms across her chest and said:

"You, can stop laughing. Sean, can only take in liquid protein from his G tube. You, are not being very nice, especially after Sean and I told you how much we like your music."

Toby went immediately to her knees and pressed her forehead to the floor at Sean's wheels.

"Oh my goodness, don't do that!" said Char, "You don't know what's in that rug!"

Toby looked up.

"Please, please, please forgive me. Sometimes it's hard to stop myself. I put my foot in my mouth a lot. Please, let me make it up to you."

Charlotte studied Toby's face and gradually lowered her arms to her sides.

"You really should get up." Said Char.

Toby sprang to her feet. Char stared at her. So did I, while I replayed the image of Toby's tain't for Char, because I take every opportunity I can get, and I was making it really hard for Char to stop looking at Toby's erect nipples. So then Toby became aware and I make all of us feel stupid, except for me, and then it's Toby who folds her arms over her chest.

"I'll just, go, dress more appropriately and I'll come back." She said.

Charlotte gives her an odd look and said:

"Really? Just to take a bite of cat food on a cracker?"

"You, eat it on crackers?"

"Or I'll make meat loaf out of it. It's much better that way."

Toby clapped her hands and uttered a bright string of chuckles before saying:

"You're a riot. Oh man. Okay then. I'll just come in."

"Fine." Said Charlotte, "But please take off your flip flops and let me give you a pair for you to wear in my place, okay? No, offense. Oh, and wash your hands at the kitchen sink."

Charlotte opened her door and drove Sean in. Toby slipped out of her flops, kicked them to the foot of her door, and then stood waiting on Charlotte's welcome matt. Then, peering inside, Toby said:

"Holy cow! Nice plants! Wow, it smells great in here. What are those things, trees? You've literally got trees in here!"

Charlotte paused just before the hallway and turned to glance at the lush jungle she'd amassed and arranged along the perimeter of her living room and dining room. Just as Charlotte had researched the statistics on hand washing, she also found out that the greatest method of removing toxins from an apartment near the city was to decorate one's home with poison consuming, extra oxygen producing plants. Apparrantly, in a given household, shit like formaldehyde, benzene, trichloroethylene, carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxides, pesticides, phenols, and radon are just floating all around. It's enough to make you, well, sick. Anyway, the plants eat all that crap right up and gives back good, clean oxygen. NASA proved it, I guess.

"They're not trees silly." Said Charlotte, "They're palms."

Turning, getting Toby's attention, Charlotte began to point to the tallest plants across the two rooms.

"That's Areca, Lady, Bamboo and Dwarf Date."

"Well hello ladies. They're beautiful, but that, Dwarf is no dwarf and, it looks like it can hurt."

"It can. I make sure Sean never goes near it."

Charlotte resumed her way down the hall, parked Sean and stepped inside her bedroom. Seconds later, she entered the hall again, and then pushed Sean to Toby.

"Here." She said, extending a pair of blue flops with a plastic daisy affixed to the toe straps.

With that, she wheeled Sean into the kitchen, and then transferred him into his booster seat and belted him in. Toby, with fresh flops, followed her in, and then stepped past the kitchen table and went to the sink.

"Sean has some real decent trunk and head control." Remarked Toby as she washed her hands, "That's good. I assume he gets PT at school?"

Charlotte paused at the refrigerator, a bit stunned that Toby had made the observation, but recovered quickly enough, recalling the woman's work and realizing that she'd likely studied all that sort of stuff during her training.

"Yes," said Char as she rummaged through the fridge, and then through the cabinets and drawers, "He gets PT, OT, SLP and TVI."

"TVI?" Toby repeated as she dried her hands, and then tossed the wad of paper towels into the trash, "He seems like he sees fine. What's his visual diagnosis?"

"His eye doctor couldn't get a very accurate read, but understood Sean would have issues integrating his vision with his motor function. So he wrote a report that essentially got him eligible for TVI services because he wrote that Sean sees at twenty two hundred and he exhibits behaviors associated with CVI."

"What's CVI?" asks Toby as she took the seat next to Sean, who was watching her every move.

"Cortical or Cerebral Visual Impairment." Char told Toby while she set a very nice dessert plate and a butter knife on the dinner matt before her, "I sort of get it, but I don't because I think that the more profound of his impediment to visually guided reach is his difficulty with motor function. I think he sees everything, in total detail. He just can't work it out in his head how to get his hands to agree with his eyes to bring them together at midline."

Toby was looking at Sean as Charlotte said all of this and didn't see Charlotte's prideful, I am a great mommy, smile after she finished. Sean was still gazing at Toby, who gave him a little raspberry, which caused Sean to sort of absently flip her the Kurt Kobaine salute. Toby slowly swung her head to face Charlotte and said:

"Did that little boy just give me the finger?"

Smiling in her impish way, Charlotte shrugged, and then pointed at Toby's t-shirt. Toby looked down.

"Oh yeah," she said before turning back to Sean, "I forgot I put this on. You're pretty smart there tough guy."

Then Toby looked at the food on her plate, which, to Charlotte, looked like goose liver pâté, but to Toby, seemed to look like, well, cat food from a can. Toby peered up, scanned the table, noticed the open sleeve of crackers to her left, and then looked up to Char to ask:

"I don't mean to be rude, but may I read the ingrediants on, the can?"

Charlotte furnished her the can of chicken and liver delight. Toby read the ingrediants and coloric break down, raised an eye brow, shrugged, and then set the can down on Charlotte's side of the table.

"And, if you don't mind, " implored Toby, "may I have something to, wash this down with, please?"

"How about some, cherry coke?"

"Perfect. Thank you."

Charlotte set a glass of ice and the can of soda beside the top right corner of Toby's dinner matt, and then took the seat opposite her. Toby proceeded to pop the soda open, and then poured some of its contents into the glass of ice. We studied the musician as she then withdrew a few crackers from the open sleeve, set them down beside her dish, and then pick up the butter knife. Next, Toby, her eyes darting from Char, to Sean, and then to the contents on her plate, scraped a small portion of the soft cat food from the plate and onto one of the crackers.

"Well," she said "here goes nothing."

Which was exactly what went, nothing. Toby continued to move her eyes nervously between Char and Sean until taking another one of her crackers, pressing it onto her other cracker, giving it a slight squeeze, and then popping the whole thing into her mouth. Char raised a cautious smile as she watched Toby consider the flavors, pause her chewing, tilt her head to the left and then right, and then resume her chewing. Eventually, she swallowed her mouthful of cat snack and drunk down a few gulps of cherry coke.

"What do you think?" Char asked.

Toby pointed the tip of her knife to the ceiling, and then lowered it again to scrape away another chunk of chicken and liver delight. She spread it then atop another cracker and that time, instead of disguising it with another cracker, Toby took one nibble, chewed, took a second bite, chewed that too, and then popped the rest into her mouth. Again, she considered, and then asksed

"So Charlotte, tell me, had you ever eaten pet food as a child?"

"Uh, no. I learned to like it at work."

"Hmm."

"My mom, didn't, feed me pet food as a child, though she would have, I suppose, if it was cheap enough."

Toby watched Char, ready to hear more, but no more about her mom came.

"I think I might have bitten into a dog biscuit once," recalled Toby as she spread another good-sized smear onto a fresh cracker, "when I was seventeen and, a little drunk."

Toby ate the chicken and liver cracker in one bite.

"By the way," said Toby, "have I redeemed myself yet?"

Char's expression became quizical.

"Redeemed yourself?" she repeated.

"Yeah, am I forgiven for messing with you about, well, you know, how you have pet food in your refridgerator."

"Oh! Uh, yes, I suppose."

"So that means, I can stop, eating cat food now?"

Charlotte regards the woman, and then a ghost of a smile plays around her mouth, just before she said:

"Well, there's this new product line coming out for dogs with more dietary needs, made from kangaroo, which has a really pleasant turkey flavor. You can-"

"No no! I'm good. Toby said before chugging the rest of her glass of soda.

That done, she took a few more crackers and said:

"Because to be perfectly honest, that was some of the worst stuff I've ever tasted. No offense intended. It wasn't like you cooked it, right?"

Charlotte gave her a little smirk, shrugged and turned to regard Sean, and then glanced back at Toby. Toby, setting her glass down and filling it again, noticed Char's smile and her gaze shifting toward Sean. Toby then turned to look at Sean and saw that he still had his middle finger up, only its tip was jammed up his left nostril and his expression was that of a grumpy old man left with a bad taste in his mouth.

"Now Sean," Toby said, "I'm not eating anymore of this stuff, okay? I don't care about how delectable, kangaroo, might be. Your mom said I was done, so I'm done. So, you need to forgive me too, okay?"

Toby returned her amused gaze to Charlotte. Charlotte shrugged, and then tugged Sean's hand away from his nose. Then a silence settled and Charlotte observed Toby peeking around her to consult the stove's clock.

"You have, an appointment?" probed Char.

Toby, her mout full with crackers, curtly nodded as she swallows and explained:

My mom has been dating this guy and tonight's the night my brothers and I are supposed to meet him. But, I have a nagging feeling that I'll be the only one to show up. So, you know. Hey,these crackers are really good. Can I finish them?"

"Sure. Is there anything else you'd like? I have another apple, some celery, squash, turkey bacon-"

"Uh, sure!" says Toby as she takes the crackers and rises from her seat, "Another apple is something I would happily consume. That'll be two days the doctor will be kept away."

Charlotte got up, crossed to the refridgerater, withdrew the other apple, and then stepped over to the cabinet to pull out the box that contained the three remaining sleeves of crackers.

"Here." She said, extending the apple and the crackers to Toby, "Yu know, just in case you get hungry, between helping people and being, musicly virtuous."

Toby leveled her gaze at Charlotte, her expression lightened with another smile, and a new, somewhat weighted silence passed between them. I, for one, was loving it because I was taking in the chick's amazingly sexy green eyes, oh, and her still very pronounced nipples. Charlotte, you know you really should go around braless more often. You could learn a lot from this woman. Anyway, smiling, Toby bowed her head in appreciation and took the items. Then, she stepped around the table, paused along the way to grab a napkin, which she used to wipe the drool from Sean's chin, either totally aware or not at all aware that she'd just exposed her naked ass to Charlotte a third time. Charlotte blushed and looked away and started to do her tapping thing at the base of her throat again as she heard Toby say to Sean:

"Take it easy dude. Be good for Mom, kay? You can come over and sing along to my playing any time you want."

Then Toby walked backwards toward the door, holding the apple and the box of crackers before her fantastic tits.

"And I promise I'll be, more appropriately dressed, for company, kay?" she said, though not appearing as embarrassed as Char.

Sean gurgled. Charlotte continued to tap as she watched Toby cradle the food in one hand while she maneuvered a free arm to reach its hand for the door knob.

"I'll leave, uh, your flip flops on your door matt?"

"That's fine." Char cleared her throat, "Thank you."

The door opened, Toby stepped behind it, only to pop her head back in to ask:

"Hey so maybe, I can tag along food shopping with you guys, the next time you go?"

"Uh, sure." Char shrugged.

"What day of the week?"

"Sunday morning, at 10:30."

"Okay. I'll knock."

Toby's head disappeared again and the door began to close, but then Charlotte called out:

"Wait! Uh, Toby?"

"Yeah?" answered Toby from behind the door.

"I should let you know that I, wear hypoalergenic gloves whenever, I go, shopping."

Toby peeked her head back in, regarded Charlotte with an amused, knowing expression and said:

"Yeah, I kind of thought as much. No worries. That's cool with me."

Charlotte stopped tapping. Toby grinned. Charlotte waved good-bye. Toby nodded, and then closed the door.

Then there was a fresh silence and it seemed very loud to all of us. Charlotte was immobile again, held up by the quiet's weight, as if it were some kind of cloud or like the fog in the rain forest arboretum of her apartment. Molly whispered to me that it was like an invisible, soupy fog of totally good kharma. She's such a little flake. Roberta whispered about how much she really liked that brash young lady. Missy Poopoo remained speechless, having retreated into the shadows cast by Mystery Man. Yeah, Char never told you about him either. We never talk to him, Mystery Man never talks to any of us. He just, I don't know, casts his shadow. Whatever. Anyway, Calamity Jane didn't lower her voice when she shared her opinion that Toby seemed like good, neighborly folk, but she sure as shootin needed to get herself some britches.

Charlotte gradually became aware again and all of her plants came into her view and they all seemed to her like they were collectively turned toward the door her new neighbor had just exited, reaching their rubbery trunks, branches, feathery petals and their long pointed frons toward it. Then Charlotte looked past the door, hoping that the plants on that side of the door didn't appear to be leaning in the door's direction. Relieved, she saw they were not and she turned to check on Sean. Sean was fine, normal, not looking in any particular direction as his drool began to collect into a fresh swollen bead of gleaming liquid along the edge of his bottom lip.

Charlotte remembered that she forgot to put a fresh bib on him and started to head toward where she kept them. But, she stopped because the next thing she remembered is that she forgot to wash Sean's hand as well as her hand, the hands Toby had touched. Cold panic began to creep down from the back of Char's mind, dripping a course along the stretching icicle of her spine, but melting as it neared her core. Charlotte raised her hand to study it for a moment, and then turned to look at the door again.

She imagined the door of apartment 2B across the hall, and then imagined Toby in her kitchen, putting the second apple in her refridgerator, next to the first, as she gobbled down a few more crackers. Then it hit Char. She doesn't feel the need to wash her or Sean's hands. We realized that we can't find the panic that normally gets her heart rate critical when Char forgets to do something she believes is very, very important to get done. We know it's here, the panic, but we can't find it.

Something else occured to Charlotte. It was like the kharma fog Molly mentioned, only it seemed to have come through Char's pores and now it feels like it's inside here with us. We're not sure how we feel about it becoming a new known thing in Char's mind, but it hits her without question. I'm writing it down, even though Missy Poopoo has finally chimed in, warning me not to. It's not like Charlotte won't remember, because she will. Every time she thinks of Toby, at least in the near future, she will. Charlotte will remember that, for a while there, the rest of us, me, Molly, Missy, Roberta and Jane, we were just, gone, gone like we'd, never existed.