The Life of Janice Ch. 03

Her name was Cindy.

The barista at the coffee kiosk.

I ordered that coffee as Janice, I paid for that coffee as Janice, I made a friend as Janice.

She was a petite brunette; pretty eyes.

I discovered my voice wasn't as masculine as I had feared as long as I softened my tone and spoke with intent and sincerity. When she got off work, we sat and talked for a while getting to know each other. I told her about losing my wife and about how I was coping with the loss by embracing the life of Janice. Cindy didn't judge, she didn't act uncomfortable, she had a lot of questions and I answered them honestly. She gave me a hug and her number and suggested we get together soon and we did, we spent a lot of time together, she became a dear friend.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The morning I decided to go out on purpose was nerve racking.

I was over thinking everything, my hair, my clothes, my make up, it took my two hours to get ready. I settled on a long dress, open shoulders, a little shawl as a wrap, panties that covered my cock and balls completely that had enough support to cover any erection I might get during the day. A matching bra, tights and a cute pair of boots. I lined my eyes and put my hair in a pony. I had to jerk off while dressing because the clothes just felt so amazing.

My first stop was the local department store where I half filled a cart with clothes, food and a couple of movies. I tried not to focus on the fact that I was a man in women's clothing walking around in public, and just tried to shop as Janice. My heart was racing as I got out of the car and entered the store, I was sure that everyone I passed knew my secret, I was sure that at any minute I was going to be pointed out as a freak and ridiculed, but I learned quickly that most people don't really care about other people unless they stand out in some way.

I had spent enough time as Janice in private that I was comfortable in this skin and clearly I hadn't drawn any attention to myself the other day when I went out accidentally. So, settling my nerves, I shopped like a normal person, no one paid any attention to me, I was actually grateful that my size and shape didn't lend itself to a masculine identity. I've seen some crossdressers who clearly had a masculine frame and I felt pity for them. How much harder it must be for them to go 'out' and not be judged, ridiculed or mocked. I was lucky, young, pretty.

It was interesting watching people as Janice.

As they go through life.

I felt like an alien, an observer of reality.

Everyone in their own head, everyone walking their journey, experiencing their lives.

Sorry, too poetic.

But I felt calm, like life was just this simple journey we all take, each of us with our chaotic minds trying to make sense of our existence.

In the end, Janice shopped, Janice smiled, Janice watched the world pass by in her cute outfit and her mild demeanor.

Which brings me to the coffee kiosk and Cindy.

She had great hair, a cute little bob and bangs, a smile that made me ever so fond of her. She was friendly. She complimented me on my bracelets. As I sat and drank my coffee I would glance at her and would catch her looking at me. I realized that I had paid no attention to my nails and that perhaps I should. Janice wasn't a girly girl, Janice was simple but I felt as if I should take care of every aspect of her.

Cindy came over and sat down after her shift and introduced herself. I told her my name was Janice and this was a big day for me. She was kind, curious and interested in my story. I was so attracted to her. We talked like old friends; it was a fast friendship. I felt confident being Janice, being me, and sure, there was a part of my mind that shouted NO, you're not a woman, you're a freak, what is wrong with you? But I was calmer as Janice, I was more comfortable and this is my life and I intended to live it.

After my day out I had made a friend, I had gone 'out' on my terms and I felt great, like dancing.

I stripped out of my clothes, drank some wine and made love to myself for hours. Slow stroking my cock, fingering and fucking my ass, I wore a black corset, garters, stockings, heels, a silk wrap and thought about Cindy. I fell asleep with cum drying on my lingerie and a smile on my face.

It was a very good day.

...

Cindy called me the next morning and invited me to go to her salon for 'girl' time.