The Long Road Back Ch. 06

A couple of days later, Amy and Jericho came over with Nancy and Andrew and helped John and I move back to Nancy's house. Amy told me that I could come stay with them, but I told her that with them having a baby on the way they didn't need company. She told me she would come see me in a couple of days to see how I was doing. I just nodded and watched them drive away. Then I turned and walked into the house.

Andrew was in the living room reading a book and Nancy had taken John outside to play on the swing set. They didn't have any foster children right now, so they put John in the other bedroom and I was back in my old one.

It looked the same as the day I left it, the bed was made, the closet was empty, the computer sat as if waiting for someone to turn it on.

I walked over to the bed and started to unpack, but when I looked at the bed, all I saw was Danny and I. Danny and I curled up on the bed kissing and holding each other and the tears I hadn't been able to cry for almost a week, finally broke through.

I put the boxes on the floor, curled up on the bed and cried. I cried for Danny and what might have been, I cried for Hawk and what could have been if the situation was different and I cried for myself. I didn't know where I was gonna go or what I was gonna do. When Nancy came to check on me later I was fast asleep clutching an old teddy bear. She silently closed the door and went back downstairs.

When I woke up it was dark. Looking at the clock on the nightstand I was surprised to see it was 3 o'clock in the morning. Getting up I quickly checked on John then made my way downstairs. The kitchen light was on so I moved that way.

Nancy was sitting at the table drinking a cup of tea in her bathrobe. I slowly walked towards her. "I figured you would be getting up soon." She said softly. There was no scorn in her voice, just sense. "Tea is on the stove if you want some."

"Thanks." I walked over and got me a cup then moved back to the table. I put sugar in it, then sat and took a sip. Chamomile, Nancy knew I liked that flavor.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, and then Nancy spoke again. "Danny wasn't John's father was he?" Again there was no scorn, just curiosity.

I knew I couldn't lie to her. John looked nothing like Danny so I took a deep breath and told her no. Then I told her about my night with Hawk.

She just nodded as I finished my tale. "Have you told him?"

I knew she was talking about Hawk. "No...I tried calling the number he left me but it had been disconnected for almost 3 years. I don't know where he is."

Again Nancy nodded and took a sip of her tea. I wanted her to scream at me, I wanted her to yell at me and tell me what a fool I had been; I couldn't handle this calm acceptance. "Nancy..." I said softly then didn't know what else to say.

She just looked at me for a minute then smiled softly. She reached out and took my hand in hers. "Everybody makes mistakes Crystal. All we can do is learn from them."

"Yea." I took another drink of my tea.

"Have you decided what you are going to do?" She took another drink of her tea.

I looked at her and shook my head. "No...I have no idea."

She looked at me critically for a minute then acted as if she had made up her mind about something. "Have you thought about going home?"

I looked at her and laughed hollowly. "I don't have a home anymore."

"I meant going back to Sacramento. Going back to your old home."

I looked at her as if she had gone insane. "Nancy, I haven't seen or talked to my family in over 7 years. What makes you think they will accept me?"

She just smiled sadly. "If they don't you can always come back. You know you will always have a home here. But you owe it to yourself and to your family to at least try."

I put my tea cup down and looked at her. "I'll think about it."

She nodded as she stood up. "That's all I can ask."

It took me almost a week to convince myself to come home. Finally on the day John and I left, Nancy gave me a hug and told me that no matter what happened she and Andrew loved me and I always had a home there with them. I nodded, hugged her and Andrew then got in the car forcing myself not to look back. We spent the night in Stockton then drove on into town this morning."

TO BE CONTINUED...