The Loser

Fred was a good kid but the only luck he had was bad. He was smart in school but his social life was a total disaster. He had been trying to get laid for the last four years. He was now eighteen and still hadn't managed to talk a girl into giving him some pussy.

He was even a complete chump at masturbation. The first time he tried to jack off following the instructions off his best friend Brad who was also a loser but not anywhere near as bad as Fred. He greased up his cock with Vaseline, grabbed it and started jacking. He was just starting to feel the approaching orgasm when his hand slipped of his dick and he hit himself in the nose. "GGGAAAAAHHHH!" he cried. His mother, thinking he was really hurt, came running through his bedroom door. What a sight! He still had his pecker in his hand and he had a bad bloody nose.

"Oh my god!" his mother exclaimed when she saw the blood. Then she saw his pecker in his hands. He looked up pathetically. Mom couldn't help it. She burst out laughing. Fred's cock deflated. He was devastated. "I'll get you a towel. Wipe off your dick and your nose and then come talk to me," she ordered. She flipped him a towel and chuckled all the way to the living room.

When Fred got there, he was cleaned up but totally embarrassed. It couldn't get any worse than this. WRONG! It could and did get a lot worse for poor hapless Fred.

"You're the first person I ever heard of who socked himself in the nose while jacking off," his mother laughed.

He tried to pry the panties off his first girl when he was eighteen. They were in her living room watching a movie. Fred ran his hand under her bra and started squeezing her bare tit. She moaned some encouragement for him. He removed her blouse and her bra. Her bare tits were now exposed. He kissed them both and sucked on her nipples. Although Fred could smell the aroma of her arousal, he didn't know what it was. She took one of his hands and shoved it down the front of her dress onto her waiting, wet pussy. Fred couldn't believe it. That pussy felt so good. He removed his pants revealing the tented boxers. She grabbed the tent and Fred almost came. He slipped her dress down to the floor and removed her panties. The more he removed, the better it smelled.

She spread her legs and Fred got ready to mount her. He had seen this a thousand times on his erotica sites. Just as the head of his cock hit her pussy, the front door opened and there stood her mom and dad. Fred's cock immediately wilted.

"What the hell are you doing to my daughter," her father yelled.

"Oh my sweet baby," her mother cried.

"Get out of my house. If I see you here again or even suspect you have talked to my daughter, I'll shoot your dumb ass!" the father declared.

Fred rapidly ran from the house with only his boxers on. He would never go there again. He would never see the girl again. In fact he had decided to move from that town as soon as possible.

As he was walking home clad only in his underwear, a group of six football players spotted him. He tried to escape but the easily chased him down. They quickly divested him of the boxers and ran down the street laughing. Fred had to walk home nude. He almost made it.

Half a block from his house a police cruiser pulled along side him. The cop got out.

"A bit breezy isn't it son? Get in the car."

Fred begged the officer to take him home; after all he was almost there. The officer took him to jail. It took him 2 hours to convince the detectives that he wasn't really a perv. Just when he thought things were starting to go his way, his mother showed up.

"God, Fred, what have you done this time?" she asked.

"It wasn't my fault ma," he whined.

"It never is," she said as she wrapped a robe around him and took him home.

Fred next tried sex when he was 20. He had a sweetie pie all undressed and in the back seat of his car. He had parked on a deserted boat launch ramp. Just as he was about to consummate the union, the emergency brake on the old wreck failed and the car slid down the boat ramp and into the water. He spent the next 2 hours looking for the clothes. When he finally got them all together she wasn't in the mood. So while Fred waited for the tow truck, she hitched a ride with some bikers who gave her all the cock she ever wanted.

Desperately Fred sought solace at the local whorehouse. He had saved up $200 for this mission. There was $100 for pussy and $100 for drinks to celebrate afterward. As he sprinted up the steps, the door flew open and conked him right between the eyes. He rolled backwards down the steps and landed in a heap at the bottom. He was out cold. He was bleeding from the gash in his forehead. He had a broken arm.

The whore who had opened the door for him jumped down the steps and assessed the situation. She got his wallet, took out the money, put the wallet back and jumped back up the steps, shut and locked the door.

A passerby, seeing Fred's condition, called 911. Just as Fred was waking up, The EMTs grabbed him, examined him and threw him into the ambulance. On came the siren and the ambulance shot down the street. As luck would have it, the same cop who had arrested him for indecent exposure was waiting at the emergency room to get his story.

"Oh, the perv," he remarked as the wheeled Fred in on the gurney. "What happened this time son? Were you attacked by angry whores? You shouldn't be around that whorehouse."

"I don't know what happened. One minute I was knocking on the door and the next thing I knew I was in an ambulance."

"What were you doing at the whorehouse son," asked the officer.

"I was trying to buy some pussy!" Fred screamed. "I'm 25 years old and I'm still a fucking virgin."

After that Fred pretty much gave up on his search for sex. He even tried to join a monastery, but because of his record as a pervert, they wouldn't let him in.

At forty, Fred was a broken man. He had tried all his life to bed a woman and had been thwarted at every turn. In desperation, he told his mother the whole miserable story.

She was sixty, but she understood. "Hell if that's all it takes to get you back to normal, I'll give you some pussy myself. It's been a while for me too."

So Fred's mother took him to bed and fucked his eyeballs out. He decided that it had been worth all the pain and suffering. Fred married his mother in a quiet ceremony in Mexico. And they lived happily ever after.