The Lost Lord Ch. 02-03

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TheTask
TheTask
909 Followers

That goodbye took quite sometime, at least now I can get my shopping done, Rainer thought semi-coldly.

As Rainer made the list, he was unaware of a being staring at him through the window from a tree across the street. She was licking an ice cream cone she had bought, or more specifically seduced from a shop not to far from the tree, her tined tongue reaching all around the cone. "So that Succubus is leaving him for the day, if not longer. That should work perfectly for me to fit into his life. My fiancee shouldn't be away from his wife any longer." The being said out loud to no one in particular.

"Hmmm, what's next on my list? Ah, milk, to the dairy section." Rainer vocalized as he pushed his cart forwards. Upon reaching the dairy section, Rainer left his cart in a corner in order to browse the selection of milk. Taking careful note of expiration date, Rainer made his selection and placed it in the cart. That was when he felt someone tapping on his shoulder.

Turning around Rainer saw what was a beautiful girl with a lollipop in her mouth. Upon inspection, she was wearing short shredded jeans, which stopped only inches from the top of her legs. A long sleeve shirt that showed a bountiful amount of cleavage. She wore surprisingly simple sneakers. She had ocean blue eyes, and natural red hair. Her face and visible skin showed no spots or scars that marred her beauty. Upon even closer inspections thanks to his Incubus self, he could see no bra under her shirt, probably no panties either. He saw C cup breasts, and an ass that many, if not all, teenage girls would envy. In other words, a girl with perfect looks. What she said surprised him.

The girl took the lollipop out of her mouth. She then began to speak only loud enough for the two of them to hear, "So you're the one, eh? When I see you closer, you're quite handsome and manly. Just what I've expected all my life. I'll see you later." And with that, the girl walked off, into the what Rainer believed was the candy section, probably off to buy more lollipops.

It took several seconds for the words she said to process into Rainer's mind. And once again, Rainer's mind began to swim with thoughts. What... The... Fuck? I'm the one? What did that mean... She'll see me later? How? In the store? Oh shit, what if she's another demo- Rainer was interrupted by another voice. One he had heard very few times in his life.

"Hello Rainer." It was Lauren, the gothic beauty of their school. Rainer's eyes somehow managed to process the sight before him.

Lauren was wearing a black short sleeved shirt adorned with some sort of Japanese cat. Under the shirt, she wore a sort of skin-tight sleeves, which ended when they reached her first shirt. She was wearing skinny jeans, purple ones, with a leather belt. She also wore short black heeled shoes. Not one to care about shoes, Rainer ignored those and went on to her finer aspects. Her breasts were clearly visible within her shirt, he could even see her nipples sticking out. The jeans managed to mar the beauty of her buttocks, but not by much. And of course, her glasses, Rainer believed Lauren was one of the few girls able to pull off the glasses look at any time.

"Um, hi Lauren. What's up?" Thanks to his inner self, Rainer was able to put on a cool demeanor.

"Not much, I'm just buying some things to last the weekend."

Still unable to believe she was willingly talking to him, Rainer had to ask her about what she said the other day. "Is it ok if I ask you about what you said the other day? It just seemed odd."

"Why is that?"

"Nothing! It's just that you have a reputation of being... Silent quite often, I just didn't expect that, or even now for that matter."

"I don't really care about what others think, neither do you. But as for what I said, I meant it, you seem different. More so today."

"Well, you're right, I am different, though for the better, I'm not so sure."

Lauren began to wrap up the conversation with, "Well I need to get going, but I do wish to talk to you more about how different you are someday, Monday during lunch if you like. Goodbye."

"See you Monday then." As Rainer watched her walk off, his mind seemed to explode with thoughts. Did she just ask me out? What the hell does she mean different? Wait, does she know I'm turning into an Incubus? She can't be a demon too can she?

As one thought fought the other for dominance of Rainer's pondering, he finished up his shopping. Both odd conversations kept Rainer quiet for the remainder of his trip, that pretty girl and Lauren, what did they want?

Rainer parked the car in the driveway and grabbed for his house keys, wondering if Asmodea had taken a set of his keys? Not that she needed them. He unlocked the front door and walked in, carrying his groceries inside and unloading them. Rainer sorted his purchases, and placed them in their appropriate place in the kitchen, oblivious to the surprise that was laying down on the couch, staring at him. The kitchen and living room both shared a half of the much larger room. When Rainer stepped back to admire his full pantry and refrigerator, a voice was heard.

"Good afternoon" It was a cheerful voice, yet holding seductive undertones.

Rainer thought it was Asmodea at first, but he was soon proven wrong when he heard the next thing the voice said.

"My name is Nerissa, I am pleased to make your acquaintance... My fiancee."

Wait... Fiancee? Rainer wondered, who the heck could that be.

As he turned around, he saw a face laying down on his couch, arms crossed over the armrest, and head lying on top. It was the girl from the store.

TheTask
TheTask
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11 Comments
JacktacularJacktacularalmost 2 years ago

The dialogue is OK, not perfectly fine, quite honestly it’s too stiff. Dialogue should be written how people talk with conjunctions like they’ll, I’ll, shouldn’t and so on.

AncientKarmaAncientKarmaabout 8 years ago
Whoa Anon....

Cool your jets there guy. Take a step back and look at the story for what it is. The dialogue is perfectly fine if you immerse yourself in the story. Great story @TheTask!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Nope...

... I couldn't do it. This is so poorly written, filled with so many errors and ridiculously dry dialog that it's beyond hope.

And really, pumping up your score with fake votes is ... well, I guess it's to be expected. Doing that just pisses people off. There is no way in hell these stories deserve an H.

Dry_opinionDry_opinionalmost 9 years ago
Worth it

Yep, it'll be my favorite story.

The simple "What's up" - "The ceiling" had me laughing out loud.

Kudos for creating an intelligent, intimidating yet funny character. Those are impossible to find in literature, apart from Jack Reacher, of course.

Anyway, BIG THANK YOU for the story.

eugene2keugene2kover 10 years ago
ehh....

Not to dis your effort or anything but this chapter contains some of the most inane dialogs I have ever read. Esp. the one between Asmodea and the wannabe gangsters - I almost gagged on that one.

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