The Love of a Shy Geek

I wish I could let you; I want you to stay more than anything else.

A few days ago it was different, I would have asked you to stay and not understood when it ate you up inside to agree. Now however, I find that my love has changed me, I require your happiness more than my own happiness.

I know you now, and I love you too deeply to let you sacrifice your marriage for me. I could keep you happy for a time, perhaps a long time, but I know that you could never be entirely happy with the person you would become to make that happen. It would eat at you, slowly destroying everything in your life.

So I kiss you deeply and tell you I want you to go back to him.

You rear back like I have struck you, pull away from me like I have hurt you, but I hold you and kiss you until understand I am not rejecting you. You tell me no, you tell me that you have decided to stay, but I gently and firmly squash that idea. I understand what you have with him, what it means to you. You made a vow to him, and you are not the kind of person to go back on that. I tell you that we will miss each other, but in the long run, we both know what is best.

We cry together, we kiss, we make love for the last time. It is explosive, loud, and deeply strenuous. My neighbors would be hammering the walls if they had not already given up days ago.

When it is over, we lay in the mangled mess that was once my bed, and I again slip your wedding ring onto your finger. Then we curl up around each other and go to sleep.

When I wake up, you are gone, and there is nothing left but your scent. Cool linen, clean air, and fresh flowers, all at the same time.