The Love Of My Life, A Tender Offer

It wasn't, though, as it should have been, not as I'd envisaged it. No having sex for the first time outside my marriage shouldn't have been like that. And afterwards as I sat there crying my heart out as David tried to console me, we agreed it had been a disaster.

"Perhaps that's fate telling us something," I sobbed as I sat there naked above the waist my breasts jiggling as I cried.

"No darling," he said stroking and caressing me.

It had started going wrong when we'd laid back into the corner of the seat. It wasn't comfortable, there didn't seem to be enough room but we were both so aroused it hadn't mattered at first. As we kissed and cuddled so we'd started to undress each other and that also wasn't easy. Nothing seemed to go smoothly and continually he was apologising for hurting me or I was moving around adjusting my position. My blouse was open, my bra was under the front seat and my skirt, that again I'd worn exactly for this reason, was around my waist. For the first time David started to take my panties down and for some reason I panicked a bit.

"What if anyone comes," I said.

"Well darling I'm rather hoping we both do that he replied a little insensitively," tugging on the white satin panties that were now half way down my thighs. I lay there, as he undid his jeans and pushed them down, as good as naked with just the bundled up skirt around my waist and tummy providing any cover for my body.

It wasn't how I wanted my lover to gaze upon my nude, well almost, body for the first time. It wasn't the place where I wanted us to consummate our affair and it wasn't the time for us to do that. Not in mid morning in the back of car in car-park in a rainstorm. It was altogether too uncomfortable, too dangerous, too rushed and, really, overall too sordid for this very special event.

I wasn't relaxed. Although aroused when we started and we kissed and he caressed my breasts and ran his hand up my bare legs I didn't feel as I normally did when about to have sex. There wasn't the powerful feelings, the irritation around my pussy, the heat flowing out from that and the heaviness in my breasts. I guess I may have been physically aroused but for the above reasons I wasn't fully tuned in that way emotionally.

But we tried to do it. My knickers did come off and joined my bra under the seat. David's jeans and boxers were pushed down right to beneath his knees and he did lie between my awkwardly opened legs. My breasts were crushed against his chest but, due to the situation, that was covered in a shirt and a sweater so I didn't feel his skin against mine. We held each other and as he pressed his hardness against me and I felt the tip of his penis nuzzling against my lips I couldn't stop myself from moaning.

"Yes David, yes."

He pulled away and fumbling in his pockets eventually found a condom that due to the cramped position he struggled to open and put on. At last it was on though and he was again pressing the bulbous head right against my lips.

I knew, though, that something was wrong and so did he. It wasn't just that he was trying to enter me from the wrong angle but also, amazingly, I wasn't wet. As much as he pressed, so my dryness resisted his entrance and my body tightened up even more. And as much as he was denied penetration so his mind began to panic and his hardness reduced.

A few weeks later we were able to laugh at how, with our first real sex, I dried up and he couldn't keep it up. But in the back of my car that morning it was far from a laughing matter.

It's a very difficult subject to confront isn't it? It's not easy to talk about sexual failure especially sitting in the back of a car our clothes in disarray. It's hard to debate a woman not becoming lubricated or a man losing his erection for both can imply a lack of fancying of the other person. Or in our cases perhaps, guilt, fear or trepidation.

"I'm sure it'll be ok," he said encouragingly as we both struggled back into our clothing.

"I know David but maybe someone's telling us something, maybe it's fate warning us advising us saying don't do it?

"Mands if you really believe that and feel it's best not to then we won't. But," he went on quietly his soft fingertips gliding across my still inflamed breasts sending shivers of strong desire through me, "I don't really think you do." He took my chin in his fingers and turning my face so it was looking at him asked. "Do you?"

"No." I whispered looking away for I didn't want him for some reason to see the lust and desire that was probably showing in my eyes. "But, er, um, oh I don't know," I sighed burying my face in my hands.

And there was a lot more of er and um over the next few days when we walked the dogs. The weather wasn't very nice so we stopped the coffee and took to going to that car park instead. Again putting the dogs in one car we'd get in the other and we'd kiss and cuddle. Well more than kiss and cuddle for now under the front seat had the regular visit of my bra and often my panties as well. For now we were becoming more and more comfortable in doing everything except having full penetrative sex. For now David made me cum every day and sometimes two or three times. For now I was regularly taking his erection from his jeans and for now I was also masturbating him. Full sex was becoming an inevitability.

But it wasn't with David that I next had sex. Well not physically. It may have been emotionally that I received him into my body but the physical intruder wasn't David but my husband Kevin. It was so ironic I thought as he fucked me that very night that earlier in the day I'd come so near to being fucked by another man. As Kevin thrust in and out of me I recall thinking.

"God I'm so wet for him, a man I'm starting to hate, yet for one I'm falling in love with I was as dry as a bone."

Most nights before going to bed I sit in front of my dressing table to brush my hair and finish removing my make up. Sometimes I wear a dressing gown, often, particularly when Kevin and I were getting on well, I would be naked but that night I was just wearing my panties. I remember they were light blue. I also remember they weren't the ones that had earlier been under the seat of my car. Kevin was in bed reading and watching the news.

Suddenly he got out and without a word came up behind me, kissed the back of my head, put his arms around me, grabbed my breasts and pressed his evident erection against my back.

"What are you doing?" I asked sounding surprised and shocked maybe because my mind with regards to sex was now focused totally on one man and that wasn't Kevin.

"Trying to have sex with the most ravishing woman I know," he replied rather smarmingly.

"Well maybe she doesn't feel like it?" I responded.

"Well maybe this'll help her feel a little more like it," he went on stroking and pinching my nipples with one hand in just the way he knew I liked it as he slid the other down between my legs.

The combination of his erection pressing into me, his hands on my breasts and pussy and the thoughts of what David and I had so nearly done and, indeed, what we had done earlier today, got to me. I didn't want them to and I tried to stop them but I couldn't, I just couldn't. I just couldn't stop myself responding to my husband although as I did it was David's hands that were on my body, his lips on mine and his cock in my hand.

In my mind, in my wishful imaginations it was David that pulled me up and pushed me towards the bed. It was him that kissed and caressed me and it was his hardness that I stroked and rubbed.

And as Kevin turned me over saying. "I want you this way," it was David's erection that momentarily pressed right against the entrance to my anus. I panicked for a moment thinking that Kevin was going to force his way in there but he didn't. He knew that I wouldn't want that and that I have a slight distaste for anal penetration, well at least by a penis, so he slid past that place and was quickly inside me.

"My my, madam is wet, you must have wanted it, or me very badly," he said as he pushed his way right up me until I could feel his pubes against my bottom and his balls against my thighs.

Then to my consternation, amazement and remorse he fucked me to an enormous and incredibly satisfying double orgasm.

I felt terrible the next day. It was as though I'd been unfaithful to David. Even though neither of us had discussed sex with our partners I sort of felt that we wouldn't be having it with them. I felt that I should have been able to resist my husband and keep myself "pure and clean" for my lover, if that makes any sense. In effect my rather convoluted logic was saying.

"Don't give your husband his conjugal rights while you're considering being unfaithful to him by committing adultery with your lover."

Also in some ways I, rather desperately at times, wanted to ask David whether he still had sex with Fiona but, fearing the answer and him asking the "do you and him" question, I thought that some things are best left unsaid

"Mandy would you consider," David asked a week or so after the abortive session in my car. "A hotel one afternoon?"

It's odd but until he mentioned it, it occurred to me that a couple could take a hotel room for a few hours. Silly I know but totally true. And when David explained that you could settle your bill with the express check out from your TV so no one knew what time you left and you avoided the embarrassment of seeing a check out clerk it sounded perfect and was of course the obvious answer to our dilemma. The logical solution to our problem. The appropriate way to achieve our objective of having sex in nice surroundings and not our own homes.

We set the date a couple of days later and I announced to Sarah that I'd be at a meeting in town and wouldn't be home when she got back from school. I told Kevin that the meeting might go on and could involve drinks and maybe even dinner for the agency was introducing me to a new client. I'd just started back to work for I found doing nothing both boring and mind numbing so I'd gone back to my earliest trade copywriting for an ad agency.

It was on a freelance basis so that meant I could pretty much work when I wanted and apart from the occasional meeting I could work from home, This was much more convenient for looking after Sarah, walking the dog and, of course, for having an affair. And that was what I considered I'd been doing for some time even though it hadn't yet been fully consummated. In my mind that was not relevant or pertinent. I'd been both emotionally and physically unfaithful by letting David be so intimate with me and by me wanting so much to be with him. I was rejecting my husband more and more even though that night after my near shag in the car the orgasms he, or was it the thought of David, gave me did raise even more concerns and conflicts in my mind about just how crazy and complicated my life was becoming.

It became even more complicated after the next Wednesday, the day we'd agreed to go to the hotel. The day we'd agreed to have lunch together. The day we'd both made excuses to our partners so we could spend most of the day together. Yes the day we spent some seven hours in bed making the most delicious and comprehensive love together. The day that David and I became lovers and the day we both were unfaithful for the first, and second and third times as well actually, to our respective spouses.

I was acutely conscious as I travelled up to London on the Central Line that I was wearing stockings and suspenders. The short, tightness of the black, crepe dress reminded me of that with almost every step I'd taken walking from the cab to the tube train and with every movement I made as I sat on the bench seat for the forty minute ride to Holborn. I wasn't used to wearing stockings and suspenders. Although I'd hitched them up as high as I could I was aware that if the skirt rode up a little then a bit of my stocking tops would show and if I moved suddenly causing the skirt to ride up further then all of them would be exposed. I like to sit with one leg crossed over the other but that was impossible so it was quite an uncomfortable journey sitting with my knees pressed together. Even like that the hem of the skirt was dangerously some four or five inches above my knees and, due to the thin, clingy material, there were suggestive lumps on each thigh where the small buckles of the suspenders made indentations.

I'd decided not to change onto the Piccadilly Line at Holborn but instead to get a cab to Park Lane where I was meeting David. Walking along the platforms and going up the long escalator I don't think I was kidding myself when I thought I could feel men's eyes on me most of the time. I suppose I was a little overdressed to most late morning tube travellers. The black dress was tight, it was fairly short and it was sleeveless. Although it was June I was wearing what men may have conjectured were tights or stockings. I was wearing strappy shoes with high heels and carrying one of those small handbags with a pair of long chains to go over my shoulder. My hair had been expensively made to look as though I'd been pulled through a hedge backwards and I was wearing full make up. I felt good and hoped I looked good and deep down wondered if others thought.

"I bet she's meeting her lover!"

I felt nervous walking into the bar of the luxurious Inn on the Park. I always feel a little jittery when entering a bar or restaurant alone. I feel people staring and that makes me ill at ease. But today I didn't feel just a little jittery I was almost shaking with nerves as I, panicking a little, hurriedly scanned the room for David.

In the cab from Holborn I'd had doubts. Both as to whether I should go through with it and as to if he would. Would he at the last moment have a change of heart, lose his nerve, decide to stay faithful? Would I really be able to carry it off? What would it be like as we ate lunch, as we went to the room, as we undressed and as we made love? Would his and my concerns and guilt over what we were doing get the better of us and prevent us going further? Would it, I thought my heart dropping seemingly into my shoes, be like the time in the car?

We'd agreed that he'd book a room and that we'd have lunch. We'd also agreed that at the end of lunch we'd decide if were actually going to go to the room.

"There mustn't be any pressure," David had said as I lay in his arms in the back of his car my bare breasts in his hands as we'd made the arrangements. "It has to be Mands, because you really want to. Because your heart, body and mind are all comfortable about it," he'd gone on.

"David," I said fairly sharply, "the way you're making my mind, body and heart feel at the moment I could do it now."

"No darling, we mustn't." He'd retorted as he slid his hand right up my leg and onto my bare pussy saying, "must we?" posing a question.

His smile from the table in a corner by a window overlooking Hyde Park sent a shiver of expectancy through me and at the same time reassured me. I walked across to him and felt wonderful as he slid his arm lightly around my waist and kissed me on the cheek. Such a simple gesture but one that most of the time is taboo for those engaged in an affair.

He ordered the drinks and we chatted rather nervously and hesitantly. Despite that the mere fact of being together as a couple in public was marvellous. Smiling knowingly at each other, touching hands or arms, trailing fingertips across the back of the others wrist. Simple gestures but, in this our first real taste of being a couple, so meaningful and wonderful

Lunch passed by in a fog of indecision.

As we ordered I felt that things were going wrong. We couldn't recreate the normal chatty, relaxed and gregarious mood of the dog walking. During the starter I felt a little better but David seemed to be quieter than normal and, rather worryingly, kept glancing around the room just in case, I assumed, someone he knew might be there. That brought home the dangers to me and I too started looking around in case a business colleague of Kevin's entered.

As the lovely wine did it's magic with the lamb main course I did relax a little. I pressed back against his foot under the table and as the waiter cleared the table I felt able to unashamedly let him hold my hand in public for the first time.

But still nothing was said or hinted at by either of us as to what was to happen after the meal. The bedroom or back on the tube!!!

"Just coffee, for me please," I replied.

"Maybe a brandy or something," David suggested.

"No I don't think so, I've had rather a lot of wine."

Leaning forward and placing his mouth quite close to my ear as he squeezed my hand he said.

"Well we can always order it from the room can't we? Shall we go?"

It hit me then. The full enormity struck me. All that he and I had done in those woods and in our cars overwhelmed me. I had a moment of panic as the thought of committing adultery came into my mind. A huge doubt and a major degree of concern flooded my brain as the image of having sex with another woman's lifetime partner came into it. But feeling his hand squeezing mine and looking up and seeing the sheer look of love in his eyes told me finally that it was the right thing for us to do and it was something we simply had to do.

I leaned over to him and whispered.

"Yes David please take me there and make love to me right now."

It was the perfect room for the start of an affair. Big, bright and beautiful with views across Park Lane to Hyde Park it was the perfect accompaniment to the meal, our circumstances and our desires and the most wonderful contradiction to the sordid fumblings we'd had in the woods and in our cars.

"Oh David it's beautiful," I whispered as we glided into each others arms.

We were both tense with expectancy but relaxed with the confidence that we'd both now made the "ungoable" back commitment to fully consummate our affair. My body was tingling with the anticipation of so many things.

I wanted to be naked against David.

I wanted to feel my bare breasts against his nicely hairy, firm and fit tanned chest.

I wanted his hands to roam uninhibitedly over my body visiting any place he wished and giving any stimulation he wanted to any part of me.

I wanted to hold his erection, feel its warmth, strength, heat and press its hardness against me.

I wanted us to make oral love to each other individually and together.

But most of all I wanted David inside me. Every sinew in my body, every thought in my mind and every nerve end throughout me was attuned to that one thing. Him accepting the invitation I would extend to him to make full, complete and total love to me.

Our mouths pressed together as we stood in the centre of the ludicrously, really, central London bedroom, I felt him growing against my tummy until he was hard and fully erect. He pushed forward and I squirmed back in that sort of pre fuck dance of such erotic promise.

I felt him undoing the zip on the back of my dress and sliding it down. He pushed the arms and I shrugged my shoulders so that the top of it slid off me and started to slither down my body. We parted slightly to allow the dress to complete its journey to lie in a black pool around my feet on the floor. I felt so good. I felt wanton and wanted, lusted for and loved, needed and nurtured and so many other marvellously exciting and enticing things as well.

Being semi-naked or in my underwear with a fully dressed man is quite a turn on for me but I am a believer in democracy in the bedroom. Although by no means being dominating or having the need to always direct and control proceedings I do need to play an equal part in everything. And that's both in the build up and the actual act itself. I feel fully franchised to do so and I gain the most pleasure when it really is very two way.